My story...

[donna12 742]

As some of you know I'm 47 and divorced, will soon be 2 years this month.

Let me start how my weight gain all started for me, I wasn't an obese child nor a teen. I married my high school sweetheart in 1986 and boy did I think I knew the world, if I knew then what I know now, ha. He was shy and I was the outgoing one, he was super skinny and I was average. He ate and ate and ate and I thought I could eat along with him so my weight kept creeping up over the years of our marriage little by little. By 1990 I weighed 199, said to myself I'd never let myself weigh over 200, I ate crow alright. We were unable to have children so we occupied ourselves in the life of luxury of world travels and cars and later in life our dream home in '06. By that time he had a corporate job, I had not worked in years and we had our dream home with a pool. It was all I could do to keep house it was so huge but I loved it. Guess you could say starting in '06 I could see a change in him and I began to stress eat more. His job was very stressful, afterall he managed a factory, oh how proud of him I was but then the alcohol began and then my food addiction began. From 2006 until he left me Oct '09 I literally watched him become a full blown alcoholic and my eating had well, let's just say I gained about 25 lbs. He began staying out late till the wee hrs of the night/morning in bars, coming home drunk, it was horrible. Then on that fateful afternoon in Oct. '09 he came home and said he was leaving me, I was devastated to say the least. I had no idea he wasn't happy. Yes we had our ups/downs like anyone else but I guess he had gotten tired of looking at a fat wife, I had let myself go, certainly not the girl he married. I stayed in the marital home a few months until I couldn't care for the acreage and pool and he made me move out and he move back in. At this time he had asked for a divorce and I was at my all time low, a deep depression. I guess I have to admit I was on the verge of suicide but I'm deeply religious and knew better and had it not been for my faith in God and my mom and of course my Psychiatrist I never would have made it out of the dark hole.

My mom stepped in and bought me a home close to her and I rented it from her. Guess she wanted to give me my independence for the first time in my life. By this time it was May of 2010, divorce proceedings were ongoing, I was living alone and eating and eating. BIG mistake. I had no accountability, I was sitting alone in a house with a dog and a tv and eating whenever and whatever I wanted. I literally was eating myself to death. I knew I didn't want to die an early age like my dad but yet I still kept eating. I had ballooned to 294, I was huge, could hardly walk, couldn't breathe. In early June '12 I moved in with my mom for financial reasons and she sold the house, talk about humbling, having to move back in with a parent at age 47.

One afternoon I asked my mom to go with me to a seminar for lap band surgery, this was April 2012. What a revelation. Yes I had done my homework, I had actually gone to a seminar back in '08 but wasn't ready mentally then. This time I was ready. The next day I called my ins, they covered it, called the dr's office made an appt, got right in, from start to finish I was banded in like 4 weeks, his office pushed my ins approval thru really quick. Needless to say this saved my LIFE.

Has it been a struggle, yes, I struggle each and every day with head hunger and sweets and sometimes give in, that is why my weight loss is slow but I'm proud of my 68 lbs in 1 year and will never look back. My eating habits have changed, for the better of course, I look at food differently, I taste it now instead of gobbling it down.

Had it not been for all of you all on here answering my questions throughout this last year and Jean's book I don't think I could have survived my first year. Thanks to all of you out there you're the best! You guys are family!!!

Looking forward to the next 12 months of a happier, healthier new me.

Donna

[Sharpie 3,306]

Donna you have indeed come a long way.. just think at your age how much there is for you out there.. I wish I was 47 again^... but as your weight decreases your confidence will increase.. Keep your eye on the prize and keep on working towards your happier , healthier new life... I will pray for your success.

[ADJL 685]

Awesome story. You should be proud...it sounds like you have survived and conquered! What a strong woman you are.

[donna12 742]

Oh, no, please do not feel sorry for me, I have survived and conquered. I can honestly say without a doubt that these past 4 years of my life with the separation and divorce was worse than my daddy's death and I was such a daddy's girl. I will say I am blessed to have this opportunity at life again. There is much living to be done, things I want to do and accomplish as a thinner normal person, not an morbidly obese person. I hope I didn't offend anyone when I said I was huge at 294, but I'm only 5'2" and at that height I was big and like I said, I was getting to the point of almost not being able to walk without assistance. Thank you both for the kind words of support.

Donna

[Sharpie 3,306]

Donna no pity here , admiration to you for overcoming everything .. being huge is a honest term.. I am only 5' and weighed 198.8 when I started and I felt huge... my mobility was also affected and now with 40 lbs lost I feel so much better no longer obese just overweight.. lol.. short people don't carry their weight so to speak.. I was as wide as I was tall...