A New Day

[dee257 1,516]

Mini your looking really great !

Terri I hope all you do get is rain....

[CaGottaBand 498]

Hi!!!! Took me a couple days but I finally found the thread! So, so happy to have a place to come chat with you ladies, thank you Janet.

Just a quick hello for now...off to ANOTHER interview. Fingers crossed for this one, it would actually put a little more moola in my pocket.

Love you ladies. TTYL.

[A New New Dawn 1,695]

Hi, Ladies. Ugh, I have been in a meeting from 9:30 until just a little bit ago. At least they gave us lunch and it was band friendly food for me (soup/salad). I know some struggle w/ salad but for me it's a slider food.< /p>

Diane, while I am so sorry to see the struggles and emotional strain you are facing with your mom, I am so glad you were able to put your foot down. As for the hubby, sorry, but I do feel that was a very insensitive comment to say you look old. Perhaps, with all the stress you are under he meant it in a way that you look "stressed". No one ever wants to hear you look old. Personally, I think you look fabulous (not just saying that). As for your weight, what does your doc say or your trainer? If you are within the appropriate weight range, then it is a moot point. With everything you have going on personally and professionally, as long as you are healthy that is most important.

Michelle, I am soooo happy for you. You are doing amazing and glad this fill is cooperating with you.

Carole, I guess after so many years together, you and Jack really have each other figured out and know how to keep it "working". That is wonderful!!!!

Yes, I am still having "issues" and it is part me and part not having support from the band. But all in all, it's ME. I am a stress eater and have been realllllly stressed with prom, graduation, new job, the pending move, being apart from Brad (Oct. will be 1 year since he moved), Ericka's trip, funding college for the kids, moving Ericka home, etc. Individually, they are not show stoppers but cumulatively, I was coping w/ eating. Plus, as I got close to 200, I was like hey, I am doing well and got lax. Ever since I had issues w/ the band a few months back and had to get an unfill, I have been struggling. I did get a slight fill afterwards but still nowhere near the restriction I had before. I know, I know according to some on the forum, the band isn't to provide restriction and is to keep me satiated between meals. However, before getting the unfill, it had kept me in ck because I could only eat small quantities and didn't feel hungry. I really couldn't cheat because my band kept me in ck. Well, now, I can pretty much eat anything. I cannot eat a sub sandwich in a gulp but can eat a 6" sub in 20 min. Before I rarely ate bread as it made me very uncomfortable. Well, the last time I went in, he also told me I had a slight slip of my band but not enough to be concerned with. It was likely do to the issue I was having and was throwing up from being stuck to many times. The last few weeks, I have felt the band isn't quite right. I was having some minor episodes of reflux (not during meal time but sporadically), and I was having pain hours after I ate but had no discomfort during or right after eating. Literally, a few hours later I would have horrible pain but not like a stuck where I felt I needed to throw up but stabbing pain in my back. I would take Aleve and it would help. After Audrey's party this happened and I drank some milk and it seemed like it dislogged whatever it was. It's weird because it doesn't feel like a "stuck" it feels like something was hung up, hard to explain as liquid was able to pass. Since that day, I feel like I can eat most anything. I am concerned that my band may have slipped (but also may be me playing mind games since he told me before I had a slight slippage). I hate having to get tested again as that involves (for my dr.) an mri and because he is in the hospital, the test was almost $1000 last time. Plus, I am embarressed to see the dr. as I feel like I am failing and cannot face him having not lost since I was there 2-3 months ago. I am not asking for pity and not feeling sorry for myself. I am writing this more for my own kick in the ass that I need to get back on track. I know the band isn't really working with me right now (needs to be adjusted) but I am not helping it either. Why can I be in pain from eating wrong and do the same thing the next day?

This is my story.

Terri, my novels are back.

[A New New Dawn 1,695]

Looking at my ticker, it has been almost 3 mos since I went to doctor. I had gotten down to 204 but right now am at 210. I am really bad w/ going to the doctor. Before the band, I would schedule my annual checkups w/ my reg. doctor and cancel them if I didn't like my weight at the time. I did this a few times and the clinic was going to drop me. It was my way of shaming myself and hiding from the reality of it. I, literally, couldn't make myself go. I think my issue of going to the surgeon now is part embarrassment, part ashamed of myself, and part afraid that I may have harmed my band due to my neglect and not wanting to face that.

Oh, Nicole, stay good, my friend. I am sure you will. Don't learn from my example. Good luck on your interview too and congrats on how well you are doing!

[MiniMi 1,468]

Ok Dawn. Time to put you it check. During tax season I realized how much food I could eat, how bad I could be with slider foods, and how much I hated getting up at 5:30 to go work out. I knew each month that I had a dr appointment and each month I came close to not going. Each time I went I knew I had gained weight. I decided that gain or lose I was not going to do like I did with the failed attempts at ww or other diets so I forced myself to go. It wasn't easy.

Here's the point, we are EXPERT DIETERS! We know everything about how to eat, when to eat, blah blah blah BUT. We are unsuccessful. So I guess we are NOT EXPERTS.

To be successful on this journey you (me too) have to not keep doing business as usual. You have to not skip appointments, you have to go to the dr whether you like it or not. You have to get out of your own way and let the process work...how do I know this is true? Because you have gained a few back by standing in your own way.

I did not change my slippery ways in April and May. In May, I lost 1 lb according to my doctor's scale. Not possible. Anyway, off I went and still didn't work out, still wasn't eating right, fluctuated in weight. Then I became regular on here again, started tracking and started exercising ( not perfect and not all month, maybe like the 5-6 days before my next appt) June comes around aka last Monday and I lost 2.2 lbs. that's fine but I was averaging 10 a month. This fill feels different. It's like you said about it, making sure I eat very little. I want to be able to go out with friends but I don't want them to notice I can't eat. I want to live my life but I want to lose too. I want to feel a little tighter in the morning etc etc. I didn't feel any of that before Mondays fill.

I feel like the ONLY THING that kept me from just sliding all the way back to my the old me was keeping my dr appointments.

By the way each fill costs me $425 until I meet my annual deductible of $6000... Wtf my boss changed our insurance this year...blah!!

I venture to say that I was spending close to that a month on lunches and Hi cal drinks and Snacks along with reg groceries.

[Maddysgram 6,159]

Dawn, you have a very smart twin, b/c I agree with her. In the past, I would go yrs without seeing a Dr b/c of shame and embarrassment. When I was really having a problem, I would go to walk in clinics, instead of my pcp. It wasn't until I finally bit the bullet and faced my fears.

I can understand the money thing too, but if you can make monthly payments, I would do it.

This is a minor set back. You have had a lot of stress recently.

I think we can all admit, that we all eat out of stress.So no shame there.

I have no doubt that now things are being settle, you will get back in gear and do wonderfully. Ericka is going to come home and say "wow mom, you look great".

[Maddysgram 6,159]

btw, I almost had full blown cancer, b/c of not going to the dr due to embarrassment and shame. Luckily, it had not spread and was abke to have it removed with no chemo.Dr said " I don't know what made you come in, but you're lucky you did".

[Maddysgram 6,159]

Ange & Evan in there new home. God was good and between a few tornado's and rain squals, everytime the truck was loaded and unloaded it only drizzled.

Also Evans uncle came with his grown kids and that made it really easy for me. The weather also kept the temp in the mid 70's. As I said, "God is good".

Right now it is only drizzling and the wind has died down, but my garden is flooded.

[Maddysgram 6,159]

Mini, Love your profile picture. You one hot momma!

Sounds like you take after your cmom, when it comes to sleep and lack there of.

I actually have had the thought lately, while driving, I shouldn't be driving, I am tired. Today while I was driving a huge UHaul truck today, stay alert, don't hit anyone. lol(not)

[Maddysgram 6,159]

Dee, Are those new vs bra's holding the girls up well? I had to laugh getting my bra on today. I lean over , while putting on my bra, so all loose skin and boobs fall into cups. When I looked, my boobs looked like they were folded in half in my bra. I thought, I have to go to VS and get these babies some support. So while putting my bra on, I thought of you.lol

[Maddysgram 6,159]

Terri, stay safe! We had a wicked storm surge, even with the eye of the storm 300miles out in the gulf. Lots of tornado's in Fl. Our tornado's are nothing like the mid west.

I have a weather alert on my phone and it went off a couple times, hope you have one too.

Keep us posted.

[Maddysgram 6,159]

Dawn, I seem to write novels too. I just break them up, hoping Terri will not noticed.lol

[Sojourner 2,446]

Dawn,

Your ability to be honest with yourself is the foundation for your continued success. It takes a great deal of courage, and I admire your candor and honesty.

You are engaging in avoidant behavior...I do that also. I recognize it for what it is, and like you understand that it does nothing to resolve the issue we ultimately need to face.

I also know I have put on a few pounds through the last several months...with surgery recoveries, the retirement celebrations, the move, and the stress it has all generated. I wish I could find my scale. It would really help me get my act back together. I have an appointment towards the end of the month with a new doctor, and I am cringing, but I will be there.

The pain you are experiencing may be connected with reflux. I would definitely get in touch with my doctor, and get their qualified opinion. Reflux is nothing to ignore.

We're in similar situations...I'm feeling challenged, have little help from a finicky band which becomes way too tight unpredictably, and very fill in it.

I've made a concerted effort to return to my roots, use Water to manage hunger, and staying with lean Protein, healthy low carb Fiber foods. I have no idea if it will help, but it won't hurt me.

We're in this together. Remember that past success is the greatest predictor of future success. You have already proven you can be successful with weight loss, so you know what you can do when you are motivated.

Get in to see your doctor. They need to rule out some possibly serious complications.

Keep us posted, and take a day at a time!

[Sojourner 2,446]

Janet, so good to read that the weather cooperated with you all today with the move!

Are you in the clear yet? I was amazed that the storm did not make the news here until today.

What an adventurous woman you are, driving a truck! Never in my life would I have the courage to do that...

[dee257 1,516]

Big hugs Dawn....

Thank you for your honesty with your eatting...im sure it was some what hard to tell us all you are struggeling but we are here for YOU !!! and you make us feel good that you trust us....Your not alone we have all struggled....but yu have to just say OK...enough and really wake up tomarrow...NO right now say enough...Im winning this ....drink every time you think you need to eat...thats what I do...try plain water...if you need sweet try some mio in it.....when you do eat try making it solid proteins...a turkey burger....a hard boiled egg....Hun....dont feel ashamed to see your DR....he wants you to win also....

Were here and cheering you on .....hugs again...