A New Day

[Sojourner 2,446]

Michelle,

You are already on the right path to discovering alternative coping tools to manage stress. Running instead of eating is excellent.

Other tools include the dialogue you are telling yourself, internally. In the field we call this self talk. You already know that eating is not going to help resolve this issue, so ask yourself how is my eating going to help my daughter? What can I realistically do assist my daughter? Why should I give myself a negative consequence for my jerk SIL?

The more internal dialogue processing you do, it helps you to discover, identify, and revise your using food to cope with adverse family issues.

[A New New Dawn 1,695]

Good morning ladies. It's another rainy day in Chicago so no bike riding for me. Actually, I am picking up my mother later and meeting up with my gram, uncle, and my aunt to surprise my mom for her 65th birthday that was on the 12th. Honestly, I am not worried about overeating as I am in a different frame of mind right now and know I will handle myself.

Happy quilting Terri. You are so ambitious, one after the other!!! One of these days I will learn how to do that. Maybe that will be my empty nesting, post move to Omaha project. Maybe...

Carole sorry about your sleeping issues. Definitely does sound stress induced since it has gotten worse after Sushi's news. I am happy to hear you will be traveling back to Florida soon too to see Seth and family.

Janet, you are so ambitious with all those quilts! Wow!!!! I can't wait to see them. What part of Florida are you in, by the way? My cousin lives out in the Ft. Meyers area (I believe) and my aunt I am having lunch w/ today is thinking of moving out there. She is retired and real estate is much cheaper there than here. Plus, she is tired of the winters here. Not sure if I will be able to bust out my bike this weekend with the weather. Tomorrow morning I am heading to my dad's in the morning for "brunch" for Father's Day. Audrey is working all weekend so I don't see much of her.

Nicole, (my daughter Ericka's middle name), how are you feeling? You off traveling this weekend? I lead my exciting and fun life through you.

Diane, so happy you got out last night to have some Diane time!!! You so deserve it!

Dee, how are you sweetie? We gonna get pics of you and your cute, new sundress? I know it's sad about your sweet dog, try to find some things to lighten your mood. She was a lucky dog to have such a loving family. So glad CJ is doing better too, btw.

Twin Michelle, I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. It is so hard to see our children hurt or be hurt; esp. since you have to keep it to yourself. First, I really commend your daughter for opening up to you. That speaks volumes of the love and trust she has for her incredible mom! I was in a very bad marriage (got married when I was 20) and my family knew he was a jerk but never knew how bad. I never told anyone because I didn't want anyone to know. It took 5 years for me to finally say enough and once I told my family it was a huge weight lifted off me as I wasn't carrying my secret/shame to myself anymore. It also helped me be stronger. It's also hard to not want to jump in and go give him a piece of your mind. I pray she has the strength to make herself a priority and not do this anymore. One big lesson for me out of that bad situation was, sure, he was a jerk for what he did to me, but I was in control of how I allowed people (him) to treat me. So it was more about myself and learning that I was not going to allow someone to treat me that way (he cheated and was abusive). She deserves so much more. I hope they can either work things out or she can find the strength to say "enough". If she is anything like her mom, she too, is an amazing woman. Also, to what Carole and Janet said too, running is a great alternative. Eating is just going to make you feel even worse about the situation. You are stronger than that. However, I must say, 800 calories seems low. My dr. actually has me on 1200 calories so it didn't sound bad to me. If you need anything or want to talk please feel free on here or if you want to talk directly feel free to call or pm or text me too. I'm here for my favorite twin, as we all are. Your daughter will work through this one way or another. My other caution would be to be careful what you say to your daughter about him. If they work things out, you don't want her to resent you if you say anything out of haste. ♥ you!

Have a good day ladies.

[Sojourner 2,446]

Today I went back on carafate, the medication prescribed when I had gastritis. I can't tell yet if it is helping, it certainly won't hurt. I will call the doctor's office on Monday.

We had another productive day with getting settled. We have to do this in a stop-start manner, as most everything for the kitchen remains packed until we have the new one completed. The same for the master bath.

The kitchen sink arrived today, unfortunately I will be sending it back for an exchange. There was a discoloration on a prominent part, not going to pay that much for a blemished finish.

I hope everyone enjoys their Sunday...it's Father's Day!

[CHEZNOEL 4,061]

Happy Father's Day to all GOOD fathers! We can skip the dead beats.

[♥LovetheNewMe♥ 1,216]

Hi ladies, I read several pages to try and catch up.

Carole, your constant reflux concerns me, something is causing it and it is not good for you or your band.

Many people who have Gastric Reflux (GERD) and an adjustable gastric band often will see a reduction in their reflux symptoms. In some people, however, they may begin to notice gastric reflux after their adjustable gastric band is placed. This could be a sign that it needs an adjustment, but if it's persistent, here are ten tips on how to deal with gastric reflux:

1. Do not lie flat or bend over soon after eating.
   
2. Do not eat late at night or just before bedtime.
   
3. Rinse your pouch with a glass of Water an hour before bedtime.
   
4. Avoid foods or drinks are more likely to cause reflux: (rich, spicy, fatty and fried foods; chocolate; caffeine; alcohol; some fruits and vegetables, such as oranges, lemons, tomatoes, peppers; peppermint; or carbonated drinks.
   
5. If you smoke, quit smoking.
   
6. Reduce stress. It increases reflux symptoms.
   
7. Exercise to promote digestion.
   
8. Raise the head of your bed.
   
9. Avoid aspirin, aleve and ibuprofen at bedtime. Tylenol is Okay.
   
10. Take an antacid (Pepcid Complete, Prevacid, Prilosec, Nexium, etc.) before retiring, or see your healthcare provider about other over-the-counter heartburn medications.
    

Mini, I think a mothers stress is never over, you are eating, Carole has reflux. I am having pains so bad some nights i almost can't stand it. I hope your daughter finds her inner strength and leaves her husband. Sadly all you can do is be there to pick up the pieces, listen and love her. Try to find a constructive outlet for your frustration. Remember eating and hurting you does not help her, I know how food comforts us, I have many days lately where junk goes down much easier than Protein or healthy foods but I am trying not to go back down that road. Know we all love you and are here for you.

Dee, it saddens me to read about your lab, I lost my baby several years ago. I held my Alex as he took his last breath, it hurt so bad but he was always there for me and i was determined to be there for him as he left this world. My fur Babies mean as much to me as my real children, they bring me such a sense of peace. Big hug to you my friend.

Teri, Carole, Janet, Dawn and Cawanna, I am here and I am so sorry I have been absent. It has been a very hard couple of weeks. I do good most days but Mom is fighting me with ever Fiber of her being. I hate to even write this but she has been so mean and said so many hurtful things over the past few weeks it has really taken it's tool on my emotions. Daily she tells me how horrible I am and how much she hates me, I know, I really do know that this is not my mother but it still hurts so much. Every time I know it is time for me to go over to her house, my stomach hurts so bad, it doubles me over in pain. I went back on my antacid medications and have tried to cut back on acid causing foods. I got on the scales tonight and oh wow, down two pounds, not sure how. I have been trying to focus on eating but some days are better than others. My daughter and grand children are here visiting and this helps some, but reality sets in and than there is Mom.

I know this all will pass but I am finding it increasingly difficult to cope with my resentment and feelings Mom dredges up. She is manipulative and knows how to push my buttons. I think this is what I hate most because I know she has dementia but sometimes she is not confused and just down right damn mean and spiteful. I pray every night and hope God will hear my prayers and help me find some peace and make sense of all of this Chaos.

Carole and Teri, I will be there on the 26th come hell or high water, I need to do something for myself and I am looking forward to this so much.

thank you all for allowing me still to participate, I will get back to myself one day, I have faith and having you all as friends means a lot to me.

Hugs all around!

[CHEZNOEL 4,061]

Diane, we are pleased to have you among us!

[MiniMi 1,468]

Thank you so much for your encouraging words. It is really helpful. Today I had a good day, eating and otherwise. Janet, of course they made up but mom will hold on to his sly ways forever...SOB. I also was married young to a real loser and left after 3 years. Now I'm married to a great guy ( next year will be 20 years)

Had a little 6th grade grad party for my son today. (Just family so small. sIL too chicken to show his face.). my little guy was so surprised! We signed him up for football too so he's getting all grown on me!

Tomorrow I get a massage at 12:30 then a ton of homework. Ugh 2 more weeks then one week off.

Diane, glad you here with us. Big hugs to the rest of you too.

[Sojourner 2,446]

Good Mrning all...

Diane, good to see your post, and thank you for all of the useful information to manage reflux. You are so right, this is stress related. I was doing reasonably well until the recent crisis with Sushi. I will be calling the doctor tomorrow morning. Being on the carafate for the past 24 hours has helped. It was a better night last night, but still was coughing.

Regardless, we will still meet on the 26th!

I hope everyone enjoys their Sunday...

[Maddysgram 6,159]

It always makes my day to hear from everyone.

Happy Sunday Fathers Day!

Di, so glad to hear from you. I can understand your pain.My grandma did the same thing to my Aunt. That was before you heard about dementia or alzheimers. Hurt my Aunt deeply!

Hang in there and take care of yourself. I expect Terri & Carole to give you a big hug from me on the 26th.

Dee, I just read this in a magazine this morning and I wanted to share it with you.

It came to me that every time I lose a dog, they take a piece of my heart with them, and every new dog who comes into my life gives me a piece of their heart. If I live long enough all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are. ~anonymous

I think your heart already has all the components, Dee.

[Maddysgram 6,159]

Carole,Glad adding back your medication has helped some.

I really don't know how we're to keep our band restricted enough not to get hungry, but loose enough to handle stress tightening. How do we find that happy medium?! hmmmm

Dawn, Ft . Myers is 45 min south of me.The girls and I would drive down there to shop at Hobby Lobby. I love their airport too.

When will you be coming? lol

Waiting to hear how the birthday celebration went.Sounds like a fun time.

Michelle, I had a feeling your daughter and sil would work things out and it would leave you angry for life.~hugs~

My niece does that to my sister all the time and my sister hates her sil's. Notice I said sil's, plural. She's had three and everyone of them momma hears about.

Congrats to your son! Mommas baby is growing up.

Nicole & Terri, waiting to here about your day....

What ever you do, I hope its fun and relaxing.

[CHEZNOEL 4,061]

Sunday morning pancakes cooked by my hubby, even when it is Father's Day. I eat only one, lo card pancake with sugar free syrup... OK... so I add a little pecans and butter to mine. After all it is Sunday. I have walked almost 14 miles in the last 4 days and been very good on my food logging. I am hoping to down at least 1 pound this week. Weigh in is on Monday am.

Carole, glad the carafate helps. I took that once with a med that caused me great stomach distressed... seemed to help a lot. I am counting on you and Diane on the 26th. I will be staying overnight so I can visit my Aunt Nell. She's a corker!

Michelle, typical results with you daughter and son in law. Hang in there. Sound like you little one is growing too fast. What a nice surprise for a 6th grade graduation party. Next summer, my oldest granddaughter will graduate from the 8th and be off to high school. Oh where does the time go.

Cawa, hope you are enjoying your time off... pop in and let us know.

Doreen, always busy on the weekends, can't wait to hear all about it. I hope CJ is over his illness.

Janet... hope you yard is losing it swampy characteristics and you did not lose too many plants. Need a report on how Maddy is doing these days and Ange too! How are the quilts coming. I started quilting my latest one yesterday. Finished the in the ditch quilting and will now use freehand machine quilting in all the blocks! Picture will be coming!

Diane, I hope things will settle out for your Mom's new schedule. I hate to say it, but if she is making you feel like scum and is otherwise looked after... consider skipping a day or so. I had to do that with my Dad once he was in the assisted living place. He could not keep track of days anyhow. Consider giving yourself a break. You'd best show up for lunch are we may come after you! LOL

Everyone have a great Father's day!

Dawn, I did my best, but still don't think I reached novel status... maybe novella?

Love to all!

[CaGottaBand 498]

Happy Fathers Day Sunday to you all. I'm greatly enjoying my time off, sadly only one week left :-( Been staying busy doing things with Mike, it's nice to have so much time to spend together.

Today I'm off to my mom's for a Father's Day/my bday BBQ and some swimming. Then later we're taking my fil to dinner.

Gotta go get my butt in gear. Hope you all have a great day!

[MiniMi 1,468]

Happy Fathers Day Sunday to you all. I'm greatly enjoying my time off' date=' sadly only one week left :-( Been staying busy doing things with Mike, it's nice to have so much time to spend together.

 

Today I'm off to my mom's for a Father's Day/my bday BBQ and some swimming. Then later we're taking my fil to dinner.< /p>

 

Gotta go get my butt in gear. Hope you all have a great day![/quote']

 

What??! Only one week left? Man that went by fast!!

[CHEZNOEL 4,061]

Time flies when you are having fun! LOL!

[Sojourner 2,446]

Janet...no worries, we will be happy to give Diane a special hug from you!

I will be in Asheville for lunch on the 26th, no matter what happens in the interim...

Happy Birthday Nicole...early or late...wishes are the same.

Terri, when I read your posts about quilting, it seems like a foreign language at times. I remember all of the years when our sons were growing up, either pancakes or Belgium waffles were our standard Sunday breakfast...good times! Our bodies do need some fats, especially if you have dry skin like I do. Besides, how much butter could you realistically put on 1 pancake?

Dawn, hope you enjoyed your day with your family...

Diane, Terri is correct regarding a time out from your mother's care. I could not please my mother towards the end of her illness, and she said some hurtful things. I've let go of them...try not to personalize anything negative your mother says.

Dee, I hope you and your family are making the best of the summer, and enjoying the time out from the hectic schedules. You and Janet gave me the idea of going for a fitting also, when I get close to my goal weight. Of course, I have no clue where there is a VS round here.

Michelle, you are not forgotten...keep up the good work with exercise.