Some people like to poke the wound :(

[Baba Wawa 543]

This is your journey, not his. You're example could help him to develop a healthier lifestyle.

I live in an 8 person household...everyone was overweight except my hubby. Everyone is on low carb now because they saw the difference in me and my dietary habits, it's contagious, but has a long incubation period, lol. Keep it up, you'll do great!

[mrsto 2,925]

I've been angry with my father for (what seems like) all my life. Yes, he can be a total ass to the inth degree, and I've had my emotional healing to do because of it. But there was a point when I realized that he is also a product of where HE came from, and what dysfunctional crap went down in the house where he grew up. Unfortunately, he did not have the clarity of mind to step back & take an honest look at the reactions he got from his children. That being said, at now 94 years old, he admits to his foibles, and gives me more support than I've ever known from him. Albeit, a bit late in life, but HEY - it still feels okay!!

I'm not making excuses for your dad. When I initially read your post, I was furious He's got his own "pathology", but please try and keep it all in perspective. I know how hard it is.... I spent so many years of my life having a love/hate relationship with my father.....BECAUSE of his lack of respect for anyone else. All I can say is, stay strong, Omf, and keep your eye on the big picture (and your lab results!!)

[line-dancer 810]

You need to get a place of your own and only have supportive people around you. I knew he is having trouble with money but he can rent out the part of the house to someone else it doesn't have to be you. There comes in your life when you refuse to take any abuse from anyone..you have to be brave but parents are just people they get no special rights to abuse you any more...I know I have been there and even went back for more I don't now when my mom crosses the line I walk out there are boundries now MINE please set some for yourself you are so worth it...and you Dad is and ASS and your brothers might just follow him so watch out.

[lilmispcl 298]

I have been overweight all my life it took a lot of me to get up and do this. I just turned 26. I don't feel all that restricted now. I can eat but I do get full easily. I wish I didn't tell anyone I was doing this. No one really understand the process of this except for you guys who have undergone this surgery. I live in 2 family house at my fathers' date=' I rent out the bottom half of his house to help him out with bills with my boyfriend. Well I went upstairs my dad and brothers have noticed a difference but today idk what got into my dad- but my middle brother since kids has always called me tubby- he mentions to my dad- that he will no longer be able to call me that bc I'm losing weight- my dad who has mentioned before to me that he sees me losing the weight states "I don't see it she isn't losing anything" finds it necessary to take out the scale for me to weight myself. I got so upset and ran to my room- I told him to get out of my face and I been crying ever since. I don't want to fail at this. Im petrify that I did all of this for nothing. I barely eat. I've gone to restaurants just to pack my food to go so my bf can eat it when I get home. He then came downstairs to apologize just to tell me that he sees it but its not going fast enough. Just bc someone who did gastric lost it within months. Maybe I should have had my stomach ripped off- I would have been able to see a difference by now. I'm sorry all- I needed to vent :/

This is me now;

Then- sucking in my stomach too lol[/quote']

I know how u feel. My mom has been super supportive but last night she was putting some laundry in the dryer (she was here visiting for several weeks) and she held up a pair of my shorts and said "do these go in the dryer?" The look of disgust on her face as she held them up and looked at the width of them hurt sooo bad. I don't even think she realized she made a face but I saw it. I've lost 40 pounds and still have 80+ to go. Just last week a kid asked me if I was pregnant and when I said no she then asked "then why is your belly so big?" ... Both of these things after losing 40 pounds already. It's painful but after lots of tears I am just using the pain to push harder so I never have to feel pain from those grimacing faces and humiliating questions ever again. My day will come and so will yours! Chin up and press on! We are all here for ya!!

[dawalsh 919]

Hang in there kiddo, I'm sure your father was not thinking because that would have hurt me as we'll. I'm. Losing very slowly myself but you know what? I had a girlfriend who had gastric bypass surgery and she did lose a lot quickly. As it stands now she has put quite a bit of weight back on. She is still thinner than I remember her originally but she lost that weight fast. It is slowly creeping back up on her though.

So stick to your guns and hang in there. You're losing weight and that's all that counts!

Good luck!

[balbuquerque 85]

food was a big thing in my family. I don't understand why ppl do this to there kids! Rice and bread and candy is horrible! food shouldn't be a bribery :/ unfortunately that's what I grew up learning. My kids when I do have them will never know that type of knowledge and I will never allow for others to do it to them as well

Omfgmelly this is the best mind set ever. To have the mindset of breaking this vicious cycle. To make sure this doesn't happen to future generations, it's the best thing that can happen. With that kind of thinking we can get back on track. Our children shouldn't have to experience this unhealthy life style. I did it to children, but I'm going to make sure it doesn't happen to their children. You are on the right path that is great.

[balbuquerque 85]

Your dad isn't an ass' date=' he's scared of losing the old you, his food buddy. Tell him that you are inside that obese body, unhappy with your physical self, but you'll always be his loving daughter. Forgive him for being insensitive. It takes time.

George Takei posted this on Facebook recently: You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.

Your soul loves your father, that's not changing.[/quote']

Msmaui I would love to be your friend on Facebook. Will you add me? Barbara Anne Smith is my Facebook name. its always a pleasure to read your posts or responses.

[feelinggood 152]

What is it with Dad's? Mine is the weight and food gestapo and I am 55 years old. Go to the gym and work off some of that hurt and anger. You will feel much better!

[lellow 1,713]

Darling, you are not defined by your weight, how quickly you lose, or even if you lose. But I can promise you this, the people around you will be scared of the change in you. They will be scared for you too and it will come out in awful ways that they don't really mean. Or it will be an issue that they're dealing with and the way they deal with it is in ways that make you feel bad.

My advice to you is to own this. Whether you lose or not, whether you lose fast or slow or not at all, make this all about YOU.

I say this out of experience. My family were and still are incredibly unsupportive of the lapband. Despite the fact that it probably saved my life. They didn't like me no longer fitting into the role of the 'fat daughter/sister' and I've lived with jibes and little passive aggressive comments for years. But I understand that I forced a change on them that they found difficult to cope with. They saw me transform right in front of their eyes, changing a lifetime of behaviours, concentrating on myself more (where I used to be the one everyone depended on to 'be there' and drop everything for everyone else) and it changed the dymanics of the family.

So yes he is an ass to have done that to you, but I reckon you need to see it for what it is - he's scared and this is the way he's showing it. I feel sorry for my family more than anything. My life changed for the better, and their's didn't seem to.

[Creekwood 702]

Please' date=' please don't take this wrong- but your father sounds like a complete @sshole!! I can't believe a father could be so cruel and heartless!!

I know it's hard but don't let his ignorance get you down or discourage you. You're doing this for you not him. Let him wallow in his own stupidity. You're losing, how fast or slow is irrelevant. All that matters is that you ARE losing and you will be healthier for it.

Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself, either. Tell him what an @ss he's being and that you're not going to tolerate it![/quote']

I agree 100 percent! Who the hell says that to their daughter?! I'm sorry that he was so rude and ignorant with how he treated you. You WILL be as successful as you want to be!!

[Omfgmelly 56]

Thanks so much everyone for all the support- today u guys made me think twice a out regretting this surgery. It's about me and no one else. Thanks each and everyone of you for your kind words!