I am a failure

[Hollyjean 0]

Hi everyone, I was banded in December of 2010. Right away things seemed to go ok, I lost 30 pounds pretty quickly. Then the weight loss, just stopped. I read everyone else's posts and I am so confused as to what I have done wrong, and what everyone is eating compared to what I was told by my doctor. I have never reached a point where I felt as if I had reached "the green zone", yet my band is a little over half full and my doctor is refusing to give me any more fills. I haven't been back there in over 6 months. When I go and I haven't lost any weight, they tell me it's my fault and I'm obviously not following the diet! What diet?! I thought the band was supposed to limit the amount of food I can consume at a time, thus resulting in weight loss. I have never been an unhealthy eater. I eat Proteins and healthy carbs, and have been doing this for years. I did have a tendency to eat too much of them. I initially gained weight when my thyroid went to heck. Of course, when I went to my doctor to tell him that I truly felt that I had a problem with my thyroid, he didn't believe me. So I went for years with my hypothyroidism untreated, as I slowly gained 100 pounds. Unfortunately, thyroid replacement medication isn't a magic pill, where you finally have a working thyroid gland and the weight is going to just drop off! Apparently, lap band surgery wasn't a magic solution either. I read on the forum that some people drink Protein Shakes. I was told this was comparable to drinking my calories. I see where some people will have meals with Pasta. I was told to never eat pasta as it was slippery and would go right through the band. Some people say their doctor told them they could eat only a small amount of food at one time. My doctor said I should be able to eat at least 1 1/2 cups of food, which to me seems like a lot! I am so confused. I read here where there is a way to jump start things? I don't know. Like I said I'm so confused. I thought after being banded, I would only be able to eat 3 small meals a day, but I'm hungry (yes, actual hunger, not boredom) within a few hours. I know that can't be right! I'm sorry I'm rambling, but I had to take out a bank loan to pay for my surgery, and it seems like it's been a complete waste of money and time. Can anyone help me!?!

[A New New Dawn 1,695]

Sorry you are struggling as this journey isn't easy. I do have a few comments for you.

1. You aren't a failure, you just need to find your way. If you haven't given up, you haven't failed.
   
2. Find a new doctor that is supportive of you and will work with you. No, the band is not supposed to do all the work and is not meant to keep you from eating; it is a tool to curb your hunger between meals. It does seem like you could benefit from a fill (or two) and being "half full" doesn't mean the band is really effective for you yet. I know some people that are at almost 80% and just now feeling like they are "in the zone".
   
3. Please understand the band is a tool. You do need to modify your eating habits as well. There are a lot of great threads on here with suggestions but I would first suggest meeting with a dietician that works with lapbanders to get realistic expectations and a plan for how you should be eating. There are things you can do for you to make this easier and to help you get back on track. Certain foods I can eat unlimited quantities of and want more, others really satisfy me and I eat a quarter of what I might eating other things. (Starting my meals w/ 3-4 ounces of Protein, then veggies, etc really helps).
   
4. You CAN do this.
   

[♕ajtexas♕ 3,771]

I totally agree with Dawn. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. Yes I meant to yell. So quit thinking that way. The failure is your doctor. The amount needed for restriction varies from patient to patient. I would suggest going back to your doctor and demand a fill with x-ray so he & you can see how much restriction you have (or don't have). Remember the doctor works for you, you are the customer and right now you are getting crappy customer service.

You are not failing, you have a tool that has not been tuned up correctly. If your doctor will not do as you ask then I would get another doctor.

Good luck to you.

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

Dawn is giving you GREAT advice.

You're only a failure if you give up and it's obvious you haven't given up.

I agree you need to find a new doctor. It's very unfortunate but just like with all specialized doctors, not all bariatric surgeons are necessarily good or even properly educated. It sounds to me like yours is one.

Here is a really great link that I think will help you a lot. It explains what to expect of the band and what is expected of you: http://drsimpson.net/fills/Lap-band-eating/lap-band-not-restriction/lap-band-and-restriction.html

Please don't give up. I really believe if you have the right information and good doctor you can be successful.

Best wishes.

[lucie159 89]

HollyJean.. we could be soul sisters.. I was banded in August of 2012 and am stuck at the 35-40 lbs lost mark and have been for several months.. I have scheduled myself to get another fill in a few weeks and hope this will help, I have 8cc's in my 14 cc band... I am NOT giving up... I gave up for too many years and watched the weight creep up. I kept telling myself that I was supposed to be fat.. it was in my genes... well I want to wear smaller JEANS!!! so I am not giving up!!

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

Sorry you are struggling as this journey isn't easy. I do have a few comments for you.

1. You aren't a failure, you just need to find your way. If you haven't given up, you haven't failed.
   
   
2. Find a new doctor that is supportive of you and will work with you. No, the band is not supposed to do all the work and is not meant to keep you from eating; it is a tool to curb your hunger between meals. It does seem like you could benefit from a fill (or two) and being "half full" doesn't mean the band is really effective for you yet. I know some people that are at almost 80% and just now feeling like they are "in the zone".
   
   
3. Please understand the band is a tool. You do need to modify your eating habits as well. There are a lot of great threads on here with suggestions but I would first suggest meeting with a dietician that works with lapbanders to get realistic expectations and a plan for how you should be eating. There are things you can do for you to make this easier and to help you get back on track. Certain foods I can eat unlimited quantities of and want more, others really satisfy me and I eat a quarter of what I might eating other things. (Starting my meals w/ 3-4 ounces of Protein, then veggies, etc really helps).
   
   
4. You CAN do this.
   

preach it sistah nudie

EXCELLENT ADVICE

i am gonna use some of that today myself...

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

I totally agree with Dawn. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. Yes I meant to yell. So quit thinking that way. The failure is your doctor. The amount needed for restriction varies from patient to patient. I would suggest going back to your doctor and demand a fill with x-ray so he & you can see how much restriction you have (or don't have). Remember the doctor works for you, you are the customer and right now you are getting crappy customer service.

You are not failing, you have a tool that has not been tuned up correctly. If your doctor will not do as you ask then I would get another doctor.

Good luck to you.

AJ if you didnt yell at me sometimes i do not think i would have made it this far...listen to AJ here, she is a walking/talking success story..

holly, failure means to just say f**k it and give up...you havent done that as you are seeking (help from people who understand) AND hence you are not a failure...pick yourself up and get back on track right now, right NOW.....you can do it..you just have to think you can....

[grace24ann 18]

I was banded in October 2010 and was stuck at 50lbs or so lost! I stopped trying and got pregnant twice but managed to keep off the 50lbs but I still felt like a failure! 3 weeks after my last daughter was born I went in and got a fill! 1 1/2 CCs added to my already 5ccs so now I have 71/2 CCs in my 10CC band! And since that fill on April 16 I have lost 26lbs! YOU can do this! I agree the band is a tool and you have to change how you eat! I changed everything this past month after my fill! I eat 1200 cal, 50-60g Protein and 80 carbs a day! And I read everything I eat! I worked at it at the beginning but now it's just second nature! Don't get me wrong I have a bad day every now and then where I feel like I can't get full! Yesterday was one and I get upset but I never give up!

YOU are NOT a failure! You telling us you don't wanna give up and you wanna know what's wrong means you still wanna try! I would be bitching at my doc or finding a new one! Good Luck!

[Jodi_620 37]

I agree with all of the responses, you ARE NOT a failure. There are three things necessary in order for the band to be a success, 1.) Proper Diet 2.) Sufficient adjustments 3.) Supportive Doctor. Based on what you have posted, you are doing your part but your doctor is failing you.

I was never questioned when I asked for an adjustment. I was reasonable and followed the rules, the rules were simple, eat the way I was directed to and if i was feeling hungry between meals and/or not losing weight then I needed to come in and get a fill. If your doctor won't support you, stand up to him and/or find someone who will.

[Bandakat412 26]

Why wouldn't your doctor give you a fill??? Most people fill their bands greater than half.

[Hollyjean 0]

They basically insist that I'm not losing weight because I'm not following their plan. I have explained that I am not really satisfied with what I have been told to eat, and am hungry within an hour of a meal. Basically, they blame me for my failure. I read where some people can eat only a small portion at a time on lap-band. I can eat almost as much now as I did prior to the surgery, and I have never felt as if I were in the "green zone". I have a friend that told me that if she over-eats, or eats to large of portions, the food either get stuck, or she has to throw up. This has never happened to me.

I'm pretty sure it's time to find another doctor.

[everydayigiveitmybest 38]

Get a new dr!!!

[sweets27 24]

Congrats! I hope the new dr works out much better than the last! Good luck to you!

[Peldiak26 12]

Hi everyone' date=' I was banded in December of 2010. Right away things seemed to go ok, I lost 30 pounds pretty quickly. Then the weight loss, just stopped. I read everyone else's posts and I am so confused as to what I have done wrong, and what everyone is eating compared to what I was told by my doctor. I have never reached a point where I felt as if I had reached "the green zone", yet my band is a little over half full and my doctor is refusing to give me any more fills. I haven't been back there in over 6 months. When I go and I haven't lost any weight, they tell me it's my fault and I'm obviously not following the diet! What diet?! I thought the band was supposed to limit the amount of food I can consume at a time, thus resulting in weight loss. I have never been an unhealthy eater. I eat Proteins and healthy carbs, and have been doing this for years. I did have a tendency to eat too much of them. I initially gained weight when my thyroid went to heck. Of course, when I went to my doctor to tell him that I truly felt that I had a problem with my thyroid, he didn't believe me. So I went for years with my hypothyroidism untreated, as I slowly gained 100 pounds. Unfortunately, thyroid replacement medication isn't a magic pill, where you finally have a working thyroid gland and the weight is going to just drop off! Apparently, lap band surgery wasn't a magic solution either. I read on the forum that some people drink Protein shakes. I was told this was comparable to drinking my calories. I see where some people will have meals with Pasta. I was told to never eat Pasta as it was slippery and would go right through the band. Some people say their doctor told them they could eat only a small amount of food at one time. My doctor said I should be able to eat at least 1 1/2 cups of food, which to me seems like a lot! I am so confused. I read here where there is a way to jump start things? I don't know. Like I said I'm so confused. I thought after being banded, I would only be able to eat 3 small meals a day, but I'm hungry (yes, actual hunger, not boredom) within a few hours. I know that can't be right! I'm sorry I'm rambling, but I had to take out a bank loan to pay for my surgery, and it seems like it's been a complete waste of money and time. Can anyone help me!?![/quote']

Post Weight Loss Surgery Diet, Nutrition, and Exercise

After weight loss surgery, you will need a new nutrition plan. Discuss this in detail with your surgeon and/or dietitian as they can help you learn about and get used to the changes in lifestyle and eating habits you need to make.

It is very important to follow the eating and drinking instructions starting right after the operation to allow the new stomach structure to heal completely and in the right position. This may take a month or more. It is also important, especially in the early weeks, not to stretch the small stomach pouch above the band. Vomiting can stretch it, so it is important not to vomit. Vomiting can increase the chance of stomach tissue slipping through the band.

The First Few Days Post-Surgery

Right after the operation you can take an occasional sip of Water or suck on an ice cube. You shouldn’t drink more than this. The day after the operation, you can take a little more Fluid but only a small amount at a time. Besides Water, you should also choose Clear liquids that have an adequate number of calories. To prevent nausea and vomiting, do not drink too much.

liquid Diet (1-2 weeks post-op)

The goal during this early post-operative period is to protect the small stomach pouch. Only thin liquids can be tolerated at this time. It is also important to keep hydrated with lots of water. Other liquids recommended during this phase include:

clear broth or Soup (with no vegetables or meat and not creamy)

skim milk

fruit juice

no-sugar-added popsicles

pureed Foods (3-4 weeks post-op)

During this phase you may start having slightly textured foods. Aim for the consistency of baby foods. This will help you transition to more solid foods later. Because Protein is so important to help you maintain muscle while you are losing weight, eat protein-rich foods first, and then move on to fruits and vegetables. Foods in this stage may include:

pureed skinless chicken or fish

mashed potatoes

peas

low-fat yogurt or pudding

In the first few weeks you may be able to eat foods that might not be allowed in your diet later as these foods may contain too many calories. It is more important in the first few weeks to let your stomach adjust to the LAP-BAND ® System than it is to lose weight. Also, your timing and progression into each dietary phase may vary. In general, you should follow the advice of your surgeon and/or dietitian about nutrition.

Soft Foods (5 weeks post-op)

Your meals can now include tender cooked foods like fish and ground turkey. Now that you can chew, make it a habit to chew foods well. If you have dentures, be sure to cut your food into small pieces and chew it thoroughly. If you don’t follow these precautions, you may experience vomiting, stomach irritation and swelling. You could also have stoma obstruction.

If solid foods cause nausea and vomiting,go back to the liquid diet you had earlier. Then you can slowly add soft foods and eventually transition to solid foods. Always ask for advice from your doctor or dietitian that is specific to your situation. Vomiting may increase the incidence of band slippage, stomach slippage, or stretching of the small stomach pouch above the band.

Your New Nutrition Plan

When you can eat solid foods without problems you will need to pay close attention to your diet. Liquids will pass through the reduced stomach pouch quickly and will not make you feel full. The LAP-BAND ® System was designed to restrict solids, not liquids. Drinking liquids during or immediately after meals tends to flush food through the pouch and you will not get the prolonged feeling of satiety needed to help you eat less.

Staying hydrated throughout the day is important. Drink at least 6-8 cups of water per day and make sure you consume them between meals.

Many patients have a difficult time with solid foods during the morning hours. If this is the case for you, you can open up your LAP-BAND ® System by starting with a couple of glasses of liquids before your first meal.

Too much food or big chunks of food can block the stomach pouch outlet. You can avoid this problem by chewing food welland eating small bits at a time. It is important to remember that your new stoma opening is approximately the size of a dime. Chew your food adequately so that it can easily fit through the opening.

Eat only three small meals a day and make sure that these meals contain adequate nutrients. Your stomach can only hold about1/4 cup of food or 2 oz. at a time. Stop eating when your hunger is gone or when you feel comfortable.

You may find that the small stomach pouch makes digestion of high-Fiber, high-fat and dry foods more difficult. Tolerance will vary from person to person. Ask your surgeon and/or dietitian about your food choices. The general guide below can help you create good and healthy meals that contain adequate nutrients but little sugar and fat.

Good Food Choices

1. Fruits and vegetables

1 to 2 servings of fresh fruit daily

2 to 3 servings of fresh vegetables daily

2. Breads and cereals

1 small portion of low-sugar cold or hot Cereal

1/2 to 1 slice of toasted whole wheat or rye bread each day.

Note: some patients have difficulty eating bread.

3. meat, fish, poultry, eggs

1 oz. to 2 oz. of meat, fish, or poultry or one egg each day. (Remove all visible fat from the meat. Remove the skin from poultry. Prepare the meat in ways that need very little fat. Grilling, steaming, microwaving, or boiling are all good ways to do this.) Note: some patients have difficulty eating meat.

4. Dairy products

Milk and yogurt are calories in liquid form. However, these types of food have Calcium, which makes them an important part of a healthy daily diet, so choose a maximum of 2 cups of skimmed milk or low-fat yogurt and 1 oz. of cheese a day.

5. Fats

Restrict the use of fat to 3 to 4 teaspoons of margarine, butter, or oil per day. You can have low-fat salad dressings and Mayonnaise in moderation.

6. drinks

Drink as many calorie-free liquids per day as you wish (though not with meals).Suitable drinks are:

tea or coffee (black) with low-calorie sweetener

water

non-carbonated beverages containing few or no calories

Some doctors have reported that carbonated beverages may contribute to enlargement of the small pouch and recommend they be avoided.

Foods to Avoid

Some foods have a concentrated supply of calories with little nutritional value and should be avoided as much as possible. They include foods such as:

syrups

cakes

biscuits

jam

honey

pies

chips

pastries

Alcoholic drinks should also be consumed in moderation, for example a glass of wine per day.

Common Problem Foods

Some foods have difficulty passing through the opening of the stoma and may cause blockage. These include foods such as:

dry meat

shrimp

untoasted or doughy bread

pasta

rice

Peanut Butter

dried fruit

fibrous vegetables like corn,asparagus and celery

nuts

coconut

popcorn

greasy or fried food

seeds and skins of fruits and vegetables

membrane of citrus fruits

Introduce these foods slowly and individually to see if they are tolerated. Always be careful, chew well, and follow your surgeon’s or dietitian’s advice.

Exercise Guidelines

Incorporating regular physical activity into your daily routine is as important as your nutrition plan. Often patients have been sedentary due to decreased activity tolerance, psychological constraints, and in some cases, physical disabilities. After LAP-BAND ® System surgery, aerobic activities—particularly walking and swimming—are generally best tolerated. Consult your surgeon and weight management team to find out which activity is right for you.

Next: Living with the LAP-BAND ® System >>

[Peldiak26 12]

Post Weight Loss Surgery Diet, Nutrition, and Exercise After weight loss surgery, you will need a new nutrition plan. Discuss this in detail with your surgeon and/or dietitian as they can help you learn about and get used to the changes in lifestyle and eating habits you need to make. It is very important to follow the eating and drinking instructions starting right after the operation to allow the new stomach structure to heal completely and in the right position. This may take a month or more. It is also important, especially in the early weeks, not to stretch the small stomach pouch above the band. Vomiting can stretch it, so it is important not to vomit. Vomiting can increase the chance of stomach tissue slipping through the band. The First Few Days Post-Surgery Right after the operation you can take an occasional sip of Water or suck on an ice cube. You shouldn’t drink more than this. The day after the operation, you can take a little more Fluid but only a small amount at a time. Besides water, you should also choose Clear Liquids that have an adequate number of calories. To prevent nausea and vomiting, do not drink too much. liquid diet (1-2 weeks post-op) The goal during this early post-operative period is to protect the small stomach pouch. Only thin liquids can be tolerated at this time. It is also important to keep hydrated with lots of water. Other liquids recommended during this phase include: clear broth or Soup (with no vegetables or meat and not creamy) skim milk fruit juice no-sugar-added popsicles pureed Foods (3-4 weeks post-op) During this phase you may start having slightly textured foods. Aim for the consistency of baby foods. This will help you transition to more solid foods later. Because Protein is so important to help you maintain muscle while you are losing weight, eat protein-rich foods first, and then move on to fruits and vegetables. Foods in this stage may include: pureed skinless chicken or fish mashed potatoes peas low-fat yogurt or pudding In the first few weeks you may be able to eat foods that might not be allowed in your diet later as these foods may contain too many calories. It is more important in the first few weeks to let your stomach adjust to the LAP-BAND ® System than it is to lose weight. Also, your timing and progression into each dietary phase may vary. In general, you should follow the advice of your surgeon and/or dietitian about nutrition. Soft Foods (5 weeks post-op) Your meals can now include tender cooked foods like fish and ground turkey. Now that you can chew, make it a habit to chew foods well. If you have dentures, be sure to cut your food into small pieces and chew it thoroughly. If you don’t follow these precautions, you may experience vomiting, stomach irritation and swelling. You could also have stoma obstruction. If solid foods cause nausea and vomiting,go back to the liquid diet you had earlier. Then you can slowly add soft foods and eventually transition to solid foods. Always ask for advice from your doctor or dietitian that is specific to your situation. Vomiting may increase the incidence of band slippage, stomach slippage, or stretching of the small stomach pouch above the band. Your New Nutrition Plan When you can eat solid foods without problems you will need to pay close attention to your diet. Liquids will pass through the reduced stomach pouch quickly and will not make you feel full. The LAP-BAND ® System was designed to restrict solids, not liquids. Drinking liquids during or immediately after meals tends to flush food through the pouch and you will not get the prolonged feeling of satiety needed to help you eat less. Staying hydrated throughout the day is important. Drink at least 6-8 cups of water per day and make sure you consume them between meals. Many patients have a difficult time with solid foods during the morning hours. If this is the case for you, you can open up your LAP-BAND ® System by starting with a couple of glasses of liquids before your first meal. Too much food or big chunks of food can block the stomach pouch outlet. You can avoid this problem by chewing food welland eating small bits at a time. It is important to remember that your new stoma opening is approximately the size of a dime. Chew your food adequately so that it can easily fit through the opening. Eat only three small meals a day and make sure that these meals contain adequate nutrients. Your stomach can only hold about1/4 cup of food or 2 oz. at a time. Stop eating when your hunger is gone or when you feel comfortable. You may find that the small stomach pouch makes digestion of high-fiber, high-fat and dry foods more difficult. Tolerance will vary from person to person. Ask your surgeon and/or dietitian about your food choices. The general guide below can help you create good and healthy meals that contain adequate nutrients but little sugar and fat. Good Food Choices 1. Fruits and vegetables 1 to 2 servings of fresh fruit daily 2 to 3 servings of fresh vegetables daily 2. Breads and cereals 1 small portion of low-sugar cold or hot Cereal 1/2 to 1 slice of toasted whole wheat or rye bread each day. Note: some patients have difficulty eating bread. 3. Meat, fish, poultry, eggs 1 oz. to 2 oz. of meat, fish, or poultry or one egg each day. (Remove all visible fat from the meat. Remove the skin from poultry. Prepare the meat in ways that need very little fat. Grilling, steaming, microwaving, or boiling are all good ways to do this.) Note: some patients have difficulty eating meat. 4. Dairy products Milk and yogurt are calories in liquid form. However, these types of food have Calcium, which makes them an important part of a healthy daily diet, so choose a maximum of 2 cups of skimmed milk or low-fat yogurt and 1 oz. of cheese a day. 5. Fats Restrict the use of fat to 3 to 4 teaspoons of margarine, butter, or oil per day. You can have low-fat salad dressings and Mayonnaise in moderation. 6. drinks Drink as many calorie-free liquids per day as you wish (though not with meals).Suitable drinks are: tea or coffee (black) with low-calorie sweetener water non-carbonated beverages containing few or no calories Some doctors have reported that carbonated beverages may contribute to enlargement of the small pouch and recommend they be avoided. Foods to Avoid Some foods have a concentrated supply of calories with little nutritional value and should be avoided as much as possible. They include foods such as: syrups cakes biscuits jam honey pies chips pastries Alcoholic drinks should also be consumed in moderation, for example a glass of wine per day. Common Problem Foods Some foods have difficulty passing through the opening of the stoma and may cause blockage. These include foods such as: dry meat shrimp untoasted or doughy bread Pasta rice Peanut Butter dried fruit fibrous vegetables like corn,asparagus and celery nuts coconut popcorn greasy or fried food seeds and skins of fruits and vegetables membrane of citrus fruits Introduce these foods slowly and individually to see if they are tolerated. Always be careful, chew well, and follow your surgeon’s or dietitian’s advice. Exercise Guidelines Incorporating regular physical activity into your daily routine is as important as your nutrition plan. Often patients have been sedentary due to decreased activity tolerance, psychological constraints, and in some cases, physical disabilities. After LAP-BAND ® System surgery, aerobic activities—particularly walking and swimming—are generally best tolerated. Consult your surgeon and weight management team to find out which activity is right for you. Next: Living with the LAP-BAND ® System >>