Peer pressure

[Justintimes 13]

Friends aren't support me on me doing this I feel lost.?

[downysoft 51]

We are your friends too and understand what it's like more than they do. They will come around in time. Just give them a bit

[Bandashoop 31]

Hey man dont sweat it. Do they not support you be ause they dont understand what the procedure does? Or do they just think you should be able to do it on your own? Or may e they are just concerned for you having surgery at all similar to how my wife was until i fully exained it to her. Regardless they will support you when you are dropping double digits!! Go for it anyways without their support.

[soanl1412 71]

That is why I lonly told a few select people about my surgery. I had one friend who didn't want me to do it but he seems a little bit more supportive now. Good luck to you!

[ksaug21 81]

If you feel this is the best thing for YOU, then you are making the right decision. My mom wasn't thrilled with the idea at first, but then she completely came around. Sometimes we need to put ourselves first and do what we think is right for ourselves. They might just come around and be supportive. I would just tell them that this is what you believe is truly the best for you and ask for their support regardless. That's what real friends would do!

[Draven 188]

Hey buddy. One- you are not lost. You are surrounded by friends here that support you. Two- (and i'm sure alot of people will agree) Some of the best things in life are achieved with no support from others.

You need to make this decision for you. Not for your friends or family. For you. We've talked before, and you are a great guy! You can do this- if YOU decide to, not your friends.

Best of luck buddy!!!!

[Justintimes 13]

They say I'm cheating I say that I don't wanna be sick. I wanna meet someone and have a family one day.

[mrsto 2,925]

I know how hard that is, when friends don't support a major choice/decision in your life. When it comes to WLS, I'm convinced that their lack of support stems from ignorance, amongst other things.

People who don't share this disease will never understand what it is to live every waking day, miserable. And they certainly will never understand the compulsion to eat. Then there are those who have had weight issues, but lost a lot of weight on their own, through diet and exercise. These folks have the "I did it the right way, why can't you" attitude. Then there are those who may share the addiction, but feel threatened that you will change your life & become healthy. There are many things that go on in people's heads, and unfortunately, you cannot make them all see things your way.

I would suggest that you talk only with the people in your world that support you. Avoid the topic with everyone else. In time, as they see you losing weight and getting healthy, they may come around.

My best friend, who has zero addiction issues, has lived this curse with me since we were six years old. She was (and continues to be) very supportive. However, in my initial decision for a gastric bypass, she was VERY worried.....and we argued about it. It was hard to grasp that she was truly concerned, and not judging.

Stay strong in your decision. It's your life, and you have to make choices based on what is best for YOU, and not what other people think you should or shouldn't do.

Hang in there.....

[Justintimes 13]

Thanks I am glad I joined this it is nice that other people have gone or is going through the issues that I am dealing with...

[mrsto 2,925]

They say I'm cheating I say that I don't wanna be sick. I wanna meet someone and have a family one day.

Clearly, they have absolutely no clue about this surgery, OR what you're going through. Be strong & stick to what is best for you. You deserve the life you want; marriage, children, and being able to move freely THROUGH that life, without the ball and chain of obesity. I feel for you........I really really do.

[Brigida 7]

I get the same thing, some of my friends and family members think that I should have done it on my own, (including my husband) I get the wispers and looks, but I just ignore them, one of my very best friend told me that I look older. My mom was against it at first, but she has came around. My children are supportive. I say just ignore people that have to say negative things. Just hang in there and do it for yourself not for everybody else, there are a lot of supportive people on this forum. Wish you the best of luck on whatever you decide to do.

[Justintimes 13]

Thank you mr sinto, I have so much on my mind. Surgery isn't until September 27th. This summer is goi g to hard, can't go to the beach, can't go to my friends pool, too embarrsed to go out, I hate the way I look

[labwalker 1,177]

WE SUPPORT YOU!!!!

When I had this surgery I told very few friends, and NONE of my relatives. I don't need to be judged by others. Here, you are among others who share the same pain and experiences than come with weight problems and living with the band.

You are doing this for YOU! Not them. Your friends can't have surgery for you, nor can they do what needs to be done to achieve your goals. Stick with your plans, and have faith in yourself! When they see the difference the surgery makes, they will come around.

[Justintimes 13]

I had to tell work because I needed to take time off for my surgery and post surgery. It just sucks that the people tell me try another diet see a trainer, do this, do that, I am sick of it

[line-dancer 810]

they aren't your friends if they aren't supporing you in getting into good health. tell them that if they are more informed then your doctors tell them you will listen. I separated myself from so called friends as I lost weight they got excited and wanted all the details and then offered support I told them I didn't need support now. Our weight tells everyone we do or don't put outselves first so its time for us now.. you have us what more do you need? you onto as new life and new friends if need be.