Peer pressure

[mrsto 2,925]

Thank you mr sinto, I have so much on my mind. Surgery isn't until September 27th. This summer is goi g to hard, can't go to the beach, can't go to my friends pool, too embarrsed to go out, I hate the way I look

I completely understand. With some of my issues (bad knees, back, etc.), swimming would be the best thing for me. We don't have a pool, and I REFUSE to put on a bathing suit in a public venue. I won't even do it at a friends house. I haven't for many many years, which is such a shame. I can't let go of the humiliation, no matter how good it would be for me. My friend wants to take me to a public pool that (she says) is very non-threatening. My standard response is "only if I can wear a full on wet suit!" - LOL!

[jsws91 153]

no one but my husband knows.. he is very supportive because he has watched me lose and gain back weight over the years.

my kids know that I am dieting and that I an going to a Dr, but I haven't told them about the surgery.. its may 30th..

[labwalker 1,177]

They say I'm cheating I say that I don't wanna be sick. I wanna meet someone and have a family one day.

If they honestly believe that having WLS is cheating, I wonder if they would forgo having surgery for a ruptured appendix? Honestly, the public's perception of what living with being overweight is tied to perceptions that we all eat McDonalds french fries 24/7/365 and that is "our fault."

BTW, there is a singles discussion group here...

Hang in there, you will do fine. Keep the faith.

Some gyms have pools with exercise groups for folks with arthritis or bad joints, you might look into that option for exercise.

[Kitt3000 757]

I know Sept seems a long way off, maybe you could still go out with your friends. Being poolside does not have to mean bathing suit. Shorts and a T. Have some crystal light, play some games, heck, even pitching quarters, or a super Water blaster on a hot day! Find the kid in you and enjoy your summer! Hang in there, it gets better!

[BayougirlMrsS 3,933]

I had to tell work because I needed to take time off for my surgery and post surgery. It just sucks that the people tell me try another diet see a trainer, do this, do that, I am sick of it

tell them to mind their own damn business.... tell them until they have walk in your shoes, they need to shut the hell up. This is NOT about them, this is about you and ONLY you..... When they start talking crap... look at them and say, i didn't ask for your permission and until i do, i would ask that you keep your opinion to yourself.

You've got two types of unsupportive people..... The "Normal" size people. These are the ones that have never had a weight problem. Can eat anything and never gain weight. these are also the ones that say.... Just try to diet and exercise. Well if it were that easy, everyone would be "normal". But wait... There day is coming... one day their metabolism will start to slow and Chump... karma takes a bite out of their Butts. They tell you that .... you need to lose weight for your health... (insert winey voice) "i want you to be healthy"... but in reality, they don't. They want you to stay fat, they want to be the "skinny" person in the group.... If you lose weight you become competition too them... They sit in front of you with their plate of cheese fries covered with brown gravy and smile... SOB's... in my mind i'm thinking.... I hope you choke on that fry... Yes i do miss fries...can you tell... lol

"the fat friend".... These are the people you hang out with that are also Fat. They for damn sure don't want you too lose weight.... who will they be fat with? who will go out to eat with them? Lets' face facts.... We (fat people) run in herds... lol. Why? misery loves company. If i'm going to be fat, then so are the people i hang with.... If you lose weight, then you are betraying the friendship. They will call you up and say.... Hey, lets go to dinner... lets go get Ice cream... You have done so good with your weight loss .. YOU DESERVE A TREAT.... that's how they get you to stay fat with them.... beware of these people.

I found my most supportive person.. was my brother. Not my husband, not my friends, not co-workers.... So find that person that encourages you to be a better person. One one or two that say... lets go to the gym, not.. lets get ice cream... the person that say, You are doing a great job... not the person that says.... How much more weight do you intend to lose, cuz your looking too skinny....

I know i'm rambling .... But remember in the end.... This is your choice, your life and you are the only person responsible for you.... not anyone else... They are not going to do your dieing for you.....

You have all of us here and we are here for you...

[Kime-lou 648]

When people say it's the easy way out, "I ask what part of major surgery is easy, what part of changing just about my entire life style is easy. This is only a tool to support me in getting where I want to be, which is more than I can say for you!!" I actually told one person this, their jaw dropped and then they laughed, have never said another negative word.

[mrsto 2,925]

There is absolutely NOTHING easy about going this route. If there was a lobotomy to tap into our appetite centers, then THAT would be EZ!

Ask the smokers if they think using a nicotine patch to stop smoking, is the easy way out. People are so stupid. I can't really fault them for their ignorance, because it's an area that they have no clue about. What I DO fault them for, is having a strong opinion about something they don't understand. As Bob Dylan says in his song, The Times They Are A-Changin, "don't criticize what you can't understand". Amen!

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

They say I'm cheating I say that I don't wanna be sick. I wanna meet someone and have a family one day.

cheating? that is always what makes me shake my head. how I wish it was easy and cheating. the pre and post op (diets) were the hardest thing I ever done (I used to think it was my lower back tattoo ouch) but seriously, you making yourself well is the best thing you can do. eating great quality/fresh foods vs boxed/processed, and beginning to exercise and when you mix that in with feeling better and better each day, you will start believing in yourself and you wont care what those (so called) friends say or don't say because you will have build up an incredible (want power attitude). to want to be well/healthy that you will do whatever you have to. and being healthy makes you feel better and you start feeling better and then the sexiness comes pouring off of you and before long you will saying you got a GF and etc etc......this is about YOU. YOU are the only one who can do it or not. YOU make yourself well. if you want to. (your friends are your family on this forum). remember it when it gets tough and it will.....Hang in there

[Tawnya777 106]

Friends aren't support me on me doing this I feel lost.?

Keep your head up!!! My whole family didn't support me including my husband, but I made the decision for myself no one else. Now I have everyone's support. My surgery went great and I'm looking forward to my first fill