Think Thin, Be Thin

[Jean McMillan 2,973]

If you’re once a fatty, are you always a fatty?

THINK THIN, BE THIN

I think I’m well qualified to speak on this subject, since once upon a time my schoolmates chanted, “Fatty, Fatty, two by four, can’t fit through the kitchen door!” when I walked into the gymnasium for a physical education class with a teacher who, after weighing and measuring each kid, announced to her captive audience that Jean was the shortest and heaviest girl in the class. After which I was the last kid (once again) to be chosen for a volleyball team.

I believe that in order to become a thin person, we must learn to think like one. It’s a tall order, I know. You might as well ask my dogs to learn to think like cats (I’m pretty sure my cats can think like dogs, but it doesn’t seem to work the other way around, to the everlasting detriment of the dogs).

At the same time, I believe that we must never forget our inner fat person. If we do forget, the fat folks may burst out of us and take over again. I know mine did last year, for six months and 30 pounds of regain. She was aided and abetted by the loss of my beloved Lap-Band®, but once she was out of her cage, she took charge so fast it made my dizzy blonde head spin. That’s not a pretty sight when that head is busy gobbling all the food in the western hemisphere and the body attached to it is rejoicing, “Starvation has ended at last! It’s party time!” (which is what my gastroenterologist said my metabolism was doing, although not in those exact words).

I lost the weight I had regained, plus another 10 pounds. I know (or I hope) I don’t look like a fatty any more, but a fatty still lurks inside me somewhere. My fat demon is hidden from view, but she’s still my demon. Exactly what every girl needs, along with a good bra and a good hairdresser. Seriously, though, my fat potential lives on, mainly because obesity is an incurable, chronic disease that no surgery today can cure. As long as my inner fatty threatens to take over, it’s hard for me to think and act like a thin person. But I refuse to give up the Quest for Thin Jean, and I strive every day to emulate her. I believe that practicing thin behavior will eventually teach me thin thinking, and I believe that practicing thin thinking will keep my body thin.

FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT

We have now arrived at the bad-tasting course in this home-cooked meal of advice. In order to practice thin thinking, we need to do things that we’ve done over and over again in the past without long lasting results, like making good food choices, practicing Portion Control, and exercising. I know that this concept frustrates many of us and infuriates some of us. Some people scorn the practicing part of the WLS journey. They say, “It’s just another diet.” A friend of mine declared a week before her band surgery, “I refuse to diet.” Perhaps it’s a matter of semantics or personal preference, but I persist in believing in the importance of practice because thin thinking and thin acting don’t come naturally to me. I wasn’t born with piano-playing skills. I had to take lessons and practice every day just to be able to play “Chopsticks”. Even famous concert pianists must practice every day. The same is true of being thin.

This reminds me of the “fake it until you make it” slogan repeated in 12-step groups. The 12-step tradition recognizes that sobriety or abstinence doesn’t come naturally to people with addictive tendencies. It doesn’t expect its members to leap from the first to the 12^th step in one week, one month, or even one year. All it asks is that we practice desirable behaviors every day, day after day, while the struggle to do that gradually lessens and we gain some control over the undesirable behaviors. Eventually we discover that we don’t have to “white knuckle” it anymore because the desirable behaviors have become habits.

Assuming that you had WLS because you don’t want to be a fatty any more, I’d like to suggest that you begin by not eating like a fatty any more. You don’t have to do it perfectly, because you’re just practicing, right? As far as I’m concerned, you can leave the perfection stuff to God. All you need to do is do your best, day by day, to work with your strengths and work around your weaknesses. Even if practice doesn’t always make perfect, it’s got to help you with the fake it part until you get to the make it part. Yes, it’s a lot of work, but you can do it!

[lassie 247]

thanks I needed that this morning hugs

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

my fave part jeannie:

All you need to do is do your best, day by day, to work with your strengths and work around your weaknesses

[sapcat54 76]

That's why I'm seeing a therapist during this journey. I need to work on my mind just as much as my body. Instead of living to eat , learning to eat to live.

[running_scared 125]

Thanks for another great article Jean. I haven't been on the boards lately, but with my 1 year 'banderversary' passing, I thought I'd pop in, and see how things are going

[kileybug34 173]

Great advice!

[Jim1967 3,569]

I have my fat days and my thin days. Not sure I will ever rid myself of fat days but I am enjoying life more so that's the most important thing.

[asquill17 72]

I tell my fiancé all the time, I'm such a foodie, I think I'll always have that short fat girl inside me (who by the way as quite endearing and I think of her fondly... Glad I'm stronger now, but that little fat girl made the choice to change her life... Pretty impressive.)

[CHEZNOEL 4,061]

Great thoughts as always Jeannie

[Maddysgram 6,159]

This is one of the things I ponder. I always thought that if someone reach their goal and stayed there for years and have developed new habits. I would have thought that eventually one could have their band removed and continue to eat the way they trained themselves to eat and not gain weight back.

Now I understand. Thanks again for enlightening me, once again.

[Jean McMillan 2,973]

This is one of the things I ponder. I always thought that if someone reach their goal and stayed there for years and have developed new habits. I would have thought that eventually one could have their band removed and continue to eat the way they trained themselves to eat and not gain weight back.

Now I understand. Thanks again for enlightening me, once again.

You're very welcome. I think that the eating skills we learn as a result of WLS can become ingrained in us to help us manage our weight for the rest of our lives. But I know from my own experience of having 2 complete unfills and then losing my band that I had been taking for granted all that my band had been doing for me.

[hopeful2 be slim 121]

thanks for the guidance.... i was losing confidence...and putting on weight...now i am mentally stronger..

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

​Perfect as always. Thank you for your wonderful words.

[beabenitez1978 26]

Wow Jean.. you said it.. THANK YOU so much for the reminders!!! I identify and completely agree with your comment, " I believe that we must never forget our inner fat person. If we do forget, the fat folks may burst out of us and take over again", because my inner fat girl came out and took over... but I'm back.. and I maybe "white knuckling" it for now.. but soon... as you said it will be habit once again.. Mucho thanks!!

[Jean McMillan 2,973]

Wow Jean.. you said it.. THANK YOU so much for the reminders!!! I identify and completely agree with your comment, " I believe that we must never forget our inner fat person. If we do forget, the fat folks may burst out of us and take over again", because my inner fat girl came out and took over... but I'm back.. and I maybe "white knuckling" it for now.. but soon... as you said it will be habit once again.. Mucho thanks!!

De nada!