Caught in a lie... Well kind of

[Creekwood 702]

So at work today I informed my boss that I will need to take a couple weeks off next month.

She of course asked why, to which I replied "I have to have surgery because I have a hiatal hernia (no clue if I actually do Lol). She immediately tells me "I have one too, I have had it for five years. Why are they operating on you for this? What symptoms are you having? How did you know you had it? I kind of froze and told her that I don't know much about it yet but I have a doctors appointment next week to find out more. I felt like an idiot. She didn't suspect that I was lying, was just concerned. I feel bad lying and I might just tell her. I just don't really want everyone at my work to know. I was definitely caught off guard and was unprepared to answer questions about my make believe surgery Lol.

[donna12 742]

Honesty is the best policy but it is no ones business but your own. I chose to tell but regret it in some ways. I have a close friend that asks all of the time "how much weight have you lost now" and it's like some kind of contest or something I don't know, it's uncomfortable. Her mom and I are close and I've know the daughter all her life and love her dearly like she's my own and her mom is losing weight on her own and the daughter is all of the time saying mom is down 22 lbs isn't that great and all the while thats great and I'm happy for her, I sure couldn't have done it on my own thus the reason for the surgery, the daughter keeps asking how much weight have you lost. It just kind of hurts I guess. Though my progress is slow I'm proud of my 62 lbs. Good luck on your decision.

[rjo132 17]

I've had my band since May '06. My family suspects but I've never comfirmed to any of them and just recently shared with a co worker I have one. I just didn't want anyone to know. It's a personal thing to me. Don't feel bad if you don't want to tell. Good Luck!

[Creekwood 702]

I have told my family, my in-laws and 1 friend. I'm just not sure about telling co-workers. I'm in school full-time and only work 2-3 days a week. I like my boss but EVERYTHING gets around at my job. Just recently this same boss informed me that someone is (maybe) sleeping with a co-worker who is married..

[donna12 742]

Oh lordy no don't tell then, this boss sounds like a soap opera waiting to happen.

[Creekwood 702]

Donna you should be proud of your loss! Slow or not you lost it!! It stinks when people who you care about say stuff without realizing how hurtful it is. When I told my best friend about surgery he asked "have you ever thought about just trying diet and exercise?" He didn't mean any harm, he has never struggled with weight issues. Some people just don't understand how tough it really is.

[Mandymoo13 111]

Ha Ha, I used the Hernia excuse as well! In my case, I don't want a lot of people to know. If I decide to later, I will say I got a lap band and a hernia repair. I worry, like in your case, of gossip. Decide what sits best with you. I have a desk job so I am only off yesterday for the Surgery and Monday for 1 extra day to re-coup. Good luck!

[khelm32 52]

I haven't had my surgery yet, but have decided to not tell anyone at work except my boss. I am going to ask her not to share with anyone else. Technically due to HIPAA laws it is a violation if your boss shares your medical information with anyone.

[Maddysgram 6,159]

I think 9 times out of 10 ppl do have hernia repair with LBS, so you just might have surgery and really it is none of her business why you are having surgery, you just are. Should have told her, it was personal and you'd rather not discuss it, end of story.

That was one of my ah ha moments, when I learned I did not have to explain myself to anyone and much happier doing that. If I don't want to do something with someone, I just say no I can't, with no excuses.

You're beating yourself up with what should I say. Just say nothing, its personal.

I have a neighbor who knows everything going on in the neighborhood and if she doesn't she calls and ask.If my cars gone a few days,"where were you", if my car doesn't move for a few days " whats going on". lol I want to say,none of your darn business. I definitely didn't want her blabbing to everyone about my surgery.

Since when did we have to explain ourselves to anyone? Not since mom & dad stopped paying for my care.lol

[feelinggood 152]

It's personal who you decide to tell. I told several people at work who are very supportive and encouraging in a positive way. My family on the other hand is another story. The day I had my surgery my sister went on a diet and thinks she is in a some sort of contest with me. Sends me texts of how much she's lost and pictures, etc. rarely asks how I am doing except to compare the weigiht loss, omg who cares? My dad is constantly commenting on what I should or shouldn't be eating and if I haven't lost weight in a couple of days starts looking for things I am doing to cause it and offering advice (mind you he is 82 years old and hasn't a clue because has never been heavy). He means well but doesn't understand how annoying and critical his comments are. My mother is a know-it-all and I didn't actually tell her intentionally but my sister did and she can barely contain herself from telling me everything she has read and knows about lap band. I keep my distance. So moral is when people know you take your chances of how they will react and how that reaction will affect you. Stay strong and believe in yourself. It doesn't matter what other people think but sometimes it's hard to let comments slide because they can make you feel bad.

[khelm32 52]

I do think it depends on your situation. I know for me, family is supportive, but at work there are some very opinionated people. I'm not one to shy away from someone challenging me, but I just don't feel that others at work need to know. If I want their support or opinion I will ask. I'm glad I found this website. I think it is a great tool, especially for those who may not have the support they need. Deciding to get the lapband isn't an easy decision for most. I'm sure many found this to be the last resort. Many people who don't agree with it or want to look down on you for doing it either don't really understand what it's like to struggle with weight, or else they are just not brave enough to take a chance and do something different. I think you should tell who you want and be ok with yourself if you don't tell others. You don't have to necessarily lie, you can do as others suggested and just be vague. I'm sure once I have my surgery date I will be contemplating on this question myself; who to tell and not tell.

[donna12 742]

The only support system I have is you guys and my 74 yr old mom who is my biggest cheerleader and my accountability when it comes to eating. I have an older brother who is married and lives an hr from us but they never once have said you look great, you're doing a great job I'm so proud of you for this decision etc. It's hurtful. I would just love to hear from my sister-in-law or brother once that I look great or they are proud of me, it would mean the world. Lap band is hard work, it's not just you get it and there bam you lose weight, you have to work at it and eat right and the head hunger and the cravings of old foods are still there. Like I said my mom, for one I live with her since my divorce and she needs me too, but she is so supportive, I'm blessed to have her.

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

I was being treated for COPD/asthma for many years and my lung doctor did many tests and discovered my coughing 24/7 was caused by a hernia and my stomach being in the wrong place. I took 6 pills a day just to eat. My lung doctor set up the band appointment and said you are getting this. I have told some people about the band but never hid the hernia and stomach surgery. Just tell the boss what I said and use my surgery reasons for you. The band can be very private or some people tell the world. I wish you luck and the boss may be the type of person who shares TMI.