Positive Experiences

[K@t 38]

I have seen a few threads here where we all talk about bad things that happened to us because of our weigh issues. While I have also had some bad ones, I have also had some good ones. I would love to hear every one else share some of their positive experiences as well.

For mine: There is a lingerie shop in the mall here, very trendy, has all kinds of cute things. I went in once just to see what was there, but I was a bit apprehensive because of the way I have been treated at some stores before. The girls there were great! They helped me shop for my sister, and for my mom. They even tried to help me find some things in my size (their biggest size just barely fit), and a month later when I came back they remembered me and were just as sweet, they even gave me a store card so I get free stuff every time I go there. To them it didn't matter that I was fat or whatever, they knew I had money to spend so they were going to help me!

[Teresita 0]

That was pretty cool K@t. Le'ts see a positive experience....hummmm mine are normally personal so they would be considered NSV's. Anyhow, I have 2 jackets that were too small when I bought them and guess what ......I wear them proudly now because they fit and are even a bit baggy.:confused: ....I can't find a smiley face big enough.

[Elisabethsew 50]

For me, it's all about feeling better and having less pain. I have bad arthritis in my knees and will eventually need to have knee replacement surgery. I'm down 30 pounds since mid-December and can now walk further distances with less pain.

[Alexandra 55]

K@t, you're asking about positive experiences we've had because we've been (or are still) overweight, right? Not NSVs about losing weight. Correct me if I'm reading you wrong...

I had to think about this but there is definitely one thing I have had better in life because I've always been fat. And that is: friendships with men. Time and time and time again I've been "the friend of the pretty girl" who always got passed over in favor of my gorgeous good friend. But on several occasions that I can recall, the flame that was between the guy and my friend sputtered out (sometimes unpleasantly) while MY relationship with the guy remained strong or even got closer as I nursed his wounds.

To me, this has been a plus (once I got over the high-school anguish). Several of my female best friends have been extremely pretty--not just normally so. So they'd always attract a lot of attention. In college especially I got a lot of "who's your friend?" comments from guys, because my roommate was widely acknowledged as one of the great beauties on campus. But 20 years later she's recently ended her second wildly unsuccessful marriage, and I'm still very close friends with one of the guys she got dumped by in school.

So I'd say having a better sense of my worth as a person is a result of being fat all my life. I was never "the pretty one," which meant I had to be "the smart one." And I personally think that's worth more in the long run.

[A1ikou 0]

I think for me it's the kids I have taught. They may have snickered for a few seconds when they first saw me but they don't make judgements that stick like adults and once they grow to love you they simply don't care what you look like.

Just once I heard an adult asking a child where to find me. He didn't know my name and was quite a rude man. He said to the girl.."She's the fat one..." The girl (who was in my class at the time) said in all innocence (I believe) "I'm sorry sir I don't know who you mean, plase can you ask at the office." She didn't know I was there and could hear every word...I could have hugged her to death!

[Elisabethsew 50]

Hi Alex,

Your comment about being smart reminded me of the TV show, Judge Judy. MANY times she instructs pretty plaintiffs with not much upstairs to read her book, "Beauty Fades but Dumb is Forever." As I get older, I find this to be very true. LOL.

[K@t 38]

K@t, you're asking about positive experiences we've had because we've been (or are still) overweight, right? Not NSVs about losing weight. Correct me if I'm reading you wrong...

Hey Alex, thats more or less, not necessarily because we're over weight but something positive. It just seems like we all have some story to tell where some one was rude to us, or something embarrassing happened because of our weight. I just thought that some good things have happened to me as well and I like to hear the more positive side of things :confused: ,not just nsv's. Situations where others didn't let our weight get in the way.

Yours is a very true example. And for me, it was similar, except I usually ended up with the guys, they found out what a sweet caring person I was while being friends and then ended up wanting to date me. So I was 2 for 2 in that category. Big girls can get lovin too!!

[Telly 4]

Ok, this will sound ridiculous but, I have friends tell me that I look prettier now. Mind you, my friends have seen me before and after weight gain.

Even if it was a lie, they made me feel good by overlooking my weight publicly. Regardless of my insecurities, the comments make me feel good.

But in retrospect and to be honest with you, since the weight gain, people in general are relentless in making you feel less than they are. In restaurants especially. One woman looked at me, (as I carried my kids food to them) as if she wanted to PB just b/c she looked at me. My husband is obese too so he was sitting there. She was probably 5ft 4inches and 120lbs. Her and her hubby were very lean but eating junk. I felt soo bad. I lost my appetite, was actually scared to eat. She kept staring at us.

Sorry to hijack this.

[Jachut 487]

Honestly, being overweight was not so horribly bad for me because I never got really fat, I always looked pretty normal compared to the general population. I'm an average looking person, some people no doubt would think I'm attractive and some would think I'm not. Just like most people really. So I've never expeirenced that desperation of not being able to go out, not fitting in, being looked at etc.

I cant think of anything positive about being 40kg overweight that happened to me though - just that I was better off than a lot of people so it wasnt so terribly bad.

[vamaillady 0]

your pics show u look good!!!!!!!! so dont fret it.. u arent living your life to appease others..or meet their criteria..just be good to you... do what is best for you..and u will shine!Believe in YOU!!! Dont hurt others to get there.. just be nice yet smart and keep on walking to your place of power...accepting yourself.. which comes with banding..one day u will look at yourself and say...i finally see that i have changed..i am proud of me! You go girl!!! Then and only then will u not be sensitive when u hear comments... negative ones...because u dont now deserve bad comments...you should be getting to be the belle of the ball now....kodos to u...i am there and know what u are going thru..noone can take away my flame anymore...the lapbanding has given me power......and u too!!!

[luluc 6]

I love I can be competitive again...Played College Soccer / Tennis / Lacrosse & I'm really enjoying sports at almost 40. I'll be starting a tennis league this summer while joining a "over 40 mens soccer team next wk"....my brother is the coach, but I taught him how to kick the damn ball ...LOL

5 yrs ago - I let myself physically go; stopped ice skating / sky diving / surfing - you name it; I let my weight determine what I did....Now my Husband is struggling to get time off for my "extreme sport trips" I've got planned....

[MerryHearted 20]

For me the biggest positive isn't something that happened to me but rather me learning and understanding what it means for someone to struggle with an undesirable behavior and not succeed at changing it on their own. I have so much more compassion for alcoholics and drug addicts and what they face now than I ever did when I was thin. Not to mention obese people of course!

Seriously, I'm ashamed at how judgmental I was.