My Story

[Suzzie81498 78]

Hello everyone!

I have not posted yet about my journey- because I have only been on my phone and well- THATS A LOTTTTTT OF THUMB ACTION! LOL

I started a blog a few weeks ago...and have posted here and there on it. I have not gone "public" on Facebook or anything and havent even told all of my family that I have had the surgery yet...but am planning to very soon- so this is my first step in "Coming out of the fat closet!"

If any of you are interested in following... the address is scale into the classroom and we all had to line up in a single file line and get on the scale. RIGHT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE- which before I stepped on that scale, I really had no understanding of how "big" I was. I remember my friend Natalie going before me- she gasped at her # and was so embarrassed! She was tall and skinny- really had nothing to be embarrassed about- she weighed in at 97 lbs. I stepped up there, having NO CLUE what that number was- or even what it meant really- I just knew that I was bigger than her and if SHE was freaking out I had better prepare myself for an even bigger freak out and possible teasing from my classmates as soon as I stepped off! There it was~ 117 lbs, quite possibly the only time I have EVER seen, or will ever see the teens when it comes to weight! Really, it all started right there for me....my obsession with my weight and trying to ignore it, fight it, get rid of it, and letting IT rule my life and make me into the woman I have become. I went home that night and cried...and woke up the next morning extra early to sneak some of my moms Slim Fast powder for Breakfast. I think I was 10 years old....my first slim fast diet at 10! AWESOME!

I could probably sum up every single stage of my life by going from diet to diet, and recount every life experience that I have had and be able to associate a feeling of disgust, embarrassment, and sadness related to how big I was- right to it! I have gone through life- happy times and sad times- with somewhat of a sad face on. Whether I showed it on the outside or kept it safely hidden on the inside- I have never truly been able to accept my weight and enjoy the experiences of my life fully! I began researching weight loss surgeries about 7 years ago because I knew a few people that had the surgeries and had great success! I just gathered information and read articles and just never really thought it would be an option for me- so I never applied! I just kept thinking- YOU CAN DO THIS ON YOUR OWN!!! And, I CAN- until I get to 20lbs down, this is when it always falls apart! I cannot explain it- I have no excuses for it- I have no way to explain why I cannot MAKE MY BODY WHAT I WANT IT TO BE, other than I have always just lacked enough will power I guess! All those years of psychological and emotional damage I endured from myself and others- because of being fat- always get me! I get discouraged, and I eat. :-(

3 years ago, I decided to go back to college and during my first semester I was sitting in math class and had a terrible, weird, awful dizzy spell that I couldn't explain! I went straight home and from there started a whole new journey of many hospital visits, ambulance calls, missed classes, hundreds of doctor visits with about 8 new doctors, about 50 different tests, an MS scare, THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS, and a very broken-scared and discouraged me! It was discovered along the way that not only do I have PCOS (which helps account for the 11 years of infertility my husband and I have experienced), but I also have type 2 diabetes. My initial A1C number was close to 10, my Vitamin D was super low, and I FELT AWFUL ALL THE TIME!!! Through modifying my eating habits some I was able to lower my A1C to 8.5, and since January when I really modified my eating habits and braved through dizzy spells while exercising almost everyday- my number is now 6.5. My blood sugar is CRAZY- diabetes SUCKS and really does control you and your cravings! Through all the investigating- the concensus is that the doctors think that the dizzy spells are blood sugar related- and I have to lose the weight to lose the dizzy spells. I needed help!

Finally, over the summer I made the phone call about weight loss surgery, and after receiving the packet and talking with the woman, I decided that Gastric Bypass was NOT the way that I wanted to go, but that I was interested in the Lap Band. I had researched this option for just as long and felt like it was a better fit for me and my life! I found a center local to me and took a leap of faith and called! One appointment later and I was on my way to submitting for approval. I have had to go through 6 months of DR. supervised weight loss, I have taken several classes at the center where I will have surgery, my info was submitted to my insurance company and after just 3 days or so- THEY APPROVED ME! I am nervous about the procedure, and am a bit unsure about my life afterwards but one thing I am ABSOLUTELY SURE OF is, I am tired of living as this girl! I am ready to say goodbye to her! FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bye for now!

Suz

[brock1021 46]

While reading this I kept saying to myself "me too" "me too"! Well said! Congrats on your new lease on life! I'm scheduled for surgery on Thursday and I am so grateful and excited!!

[Suzzie81498 78]

Good Luck Brock!

[cindya 54]

love this !!!

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

A wonderful story to share, thank you. I feel very happy that you decided to get help, The Band. Best thing I ever did. I hope you continue to write on this site, you write very well.

Good luck with your new journey.

[Spaness2012 609]

Thank you for sharing this with us. I am certain we all felt this way before making the decision. Good luck!

[Sharpie 3,306]

I had been diabetic for many years... nothing I did made a difference,, they put me on metformin,, the most evil medication ever .. it made me so sick and I had so much diahrea all the time I quit taking it... I was gaining weight and could not lose no matter what I did. After trying every "diet" known to man I finally decided I was sick and tired of being fat and was ready to take control of my health... I had my lapbad done on Jan 15th and have not looked back.. I have lost 30 lbs so far and I have another 45 to go.. My diabetes is under control, I take no medication.. my blood pressure is much better also. so, you have done the best thing you can do... keep us posted..

[Suzzie81498 78]

Thanks everyone!

Sent from my iPhone using LapBandTalk

[Suzzie81498 78]

Sharpie,

I have taken met for a long time as well. I will start back on it tomorrow. Unfortunately it is for my pcos also. First few weeks will be a horrid adjustment.

Sent from my iPhone using LapBandTalk

[hely88 883]

Congrats and thanks for sharing. A lot of people keep a separate Facebook for band friends and groups. Best of luck!

[♥LovetheNewMe♥ 1,216]

Good luck Suzzie! Keep blogging, words are powerful and they really do help you to stay focused on the goal!