Prejudice against fat people

[firefaerie266 53]

You know, I never actually experienced this before. I really thought that some people just made this sort of stuff up. But after the phone call with my primary care doctor yesterday, I am seeing things differently now.

Back in January I had started doing research on weight loss surgery, and I found this website. I decided that the LapBand would be the best option for me and I started to get really excited about the possibility to be satisfied with smaller portions, to be able to learn the self control and good eating habits to make this a success, and to just start a new life. So I talked to my doctor about it. She agreed it sounded like a good option for me. Gave me a referral to a Bariatric Surgeon and I started to do their pre-op program (including spend money on classes and exercise equipment, all of which my doctor knew). Things were looking real good. I found out that my doctor hadn't submitted her official referral paperwork though - she didn't submit her letter of medical necessity either. So I gave them a call and they said I would need to come in and sign a release, odd, I thought, since all the other referrals I hadn't had this problem.

Last week I received a very odd voicemail from my doctor. The receptionist said she wanted to schedule me to talk to my doctor about appetite suppressants. What?? I couldn't understand why on earth my doctor would even think that was an option for me - especially since I have a rapid heart rate already. I am already on meds to LOWER my heart rate and now she wants me to try appetite suppressants, which increase the risk of heart complications? I was very confused my this voicemail, so I called back and of course no one had any idea what I was talking about - they told me to leave a message with my nurse and someone would call me back. I sorta forgot about it over the weekend, until yesterday.

Yesterday I got the call from my doctor so that she could explain what was going on. Long story short (too late! haha) she didn't think bariatric surgery was right for me. She thought that since my other medical issues were all straightened out (no sleep apnea, heart rate under control, Iron levels in normal ranges, hormones controlled by BC pills) that I should give it "another shot" at doing it on my own. And couldn't support my choice for lapband surgery unless I did an additional 3 months diet/exercise with her. Forget the fact that I had already spent the past 3+ months talking to her about diet, exercise, and healthy habits. Forget the fact that I already been making lifestyle changes (give up Coke, drinking more Water, eating Protein Shakes for Breakfast [instead of not eating breakfast at all]). None of that matter. It apparently wasn't good enough for her because I while I was extremely heavy, I have no other comorbidities. She couldn't bother to tell me this 3 months ago when I first mentioned it. She had to wait.

And I know that insurance companies often require a 3 to 6 months diet/exercise plan to get approval, but this wasn't that. As far as my insurance was concerned I had already fulfilled that requirement (my doctor appointments in January, February, and March fulfilled this). This is just my doctor and her own prejudice. She tried to explain to me that she has seen the lapband fail. And that "You know, you still have to learn those habits." and all I could say was "Yes, I know that. I know this is a just a tool. Its just an accountability partner." to which she said "Well, you can still eat around it. You still have to learn to choose Oranges over Oreos."

That was the part that really made me snap. Why does everyone ASSUME that "Oh you're fat, that must be because you pig out on potato chips and sit on the couch all day doing nothing." I am so sick and tired of that attitude!! And from a so called medical professional nonetheless??? Surely she of all people realizes that there are other things that cause obesity??

After I got off the phone with her I had a very good long cry. I was absolutely devastated - like all my dreams that I was only weeks away from achieving were being shattered. My husband was so supportive, and he was even angrier than I was at what she had said to me, and how I had been led along for 3 months now into thinking everything was OK. If she had said 3 months ago when I first mentioned it "Ok, I'm going to need to put you on a supervised diet for insurance reasons, since I don't have your complete medical history, and then I'll put in the approval," I would be DONE BY NOW. But no, she waited and pulled me along, and then told me that weightloss was as simple as choosing "Oranges over Oreos" and exercising a little bit.

So today I found a new doctor. I know at this point I am going to have to do the diet and exercise for 3 months because they will need that for their records (since I'm a new patient). But I would much rather work with someone who hopefully has more sympathy and experience with fat people.

/ rant

[countrygrl 175]

This is so upsetting to me as well all thus time you feel you have wasted an I do agree that was rude on her part to word it like that. I guess to maybe help you some atleast you can say you have been preparing your body for when you do finally do get banded. Hoping things go better with the new pcp an good luck an wishes for the journey ahead of you

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

sorry you went through all of that. but I am most happy you have a new doctor. I also was happy to read you got a supportive hub. that is GREAT. you can do this. hang in there, stay positive okay.

[Creekwood 702]

I'm confused. I don't eat Oreos, how in the hell am I fat?? Lol but seriously it sounds like a new doctor is the best thing that happened to you. That doctor is a quack. Sucks that it pushed your time back but I'm seriously happy that you aren't giving more money to this lady.

[Creekwood 702]

This is a little off topic but a funny story about insensitive Doc's. so when I was 17 I spent 8 months in the hospital going through intense chemotherapy as I had been diagnosed with Leukemia. I had a team of 3 Oncologists that were caring for me. They did rounds one week each. There was one doctor, Dr. Dole who was this real little indian guy. I couldn't stand him. IF I had the appetite to eat I would sometimes eat bad foods. pizza, sandwiches, chicken wings etc.. Most of the time I had to be forced to eat. Well every time he came in my room he would make little smarta** remarks about my food, my weight, sugary drinks I was drinking etc.. "How do you expect to live a healthy life eating like this?" "Oh, Doritos, you need to get rid of those".

One day I snapped on him (I was on a lot of medicine in a lot of pain and eventually my filter disappeared. "I'm not here to get skinny. I'm here because I have cancer. I don't give a damn if I'm fat. I only have a 30% chance to live for give years, I couldn't give two sh*** less if I'm Fay or not. Get out of my room. You aren't my doctor anymore. I refuse to deal with an a**hole like you" (something like that ) the expression on his face was awesome. I told my favorite oncologist of the three I only wanted to deal with him and ten years later he is the only one that has ever been a part of my treatment. Some doctors are a**holes. They have no idea what it's like to be fat, and are very insensitive to the issues that we face. (Sorry for the language)

[firefaerie266 53]

Thanks you guys, it means a lot to be just be able to get this off my chest and have people understand. My head is still pounding right now. I knew this process was going to be long and stressful, but I never imagined I would be so emotionally invested in this! I'm just trying to relax with some music and my spinning wheel. Hopefully I'll be able to see my new doctor next week and I'll get back on track.

[morelgirl 177]

Good for you in standing up to the prejudice and making the right decisions to support your needs and your health. I'm so proud of you.

Unfortunately, in my experience, I've found healthcare professionals to be among some of the worst cases when it comes to dealing with people who are overweight. I'm not sure if it's just a lack of proper training or true insensitivity, but it happens way too often.

Personally, my trigger in the category of "stupid things doctors say" is when they ask, "you know, you're at a very unhealthy body weight. Have you ever thought about trying to lose some weight?"

"Try to lose weight? OMG, why didn't I ever think of that?!"

As if my entire life (put on my first diet at age 8-9) hadn't revolved around trying to lose weight. As if obese people don't realize they're obese and are just happily cavorting through life without a care in the world.

Drives me batcrap crazy!

[tiggergramma 129]

It's good that you are going to a new doctor. Too bad your parting shot to the insensitive git who did this to you couldn't have been "well, the good news is that I am going to be able to lose weight. The bad news is you will always be ignorant!"

Best of luck to you with the new journey!

[cflick 303]

I am sorry you had such a bad Dr experience. Hopefuly the new one will be a PERFECT MATCH!!!.

I am sure we all have a bad Dr story or two to share.

I had uncontroled BP for almost a yr would go to the Dr and ask for Med and have a list of my daily BP reading and his answer was eat some blueberrys and celery they are natural BP Lowerers.... when that did not work it was eat some more... WHAT THE CRAP my BP was running 180/100 every day. When I changed Dr he took my BP log and wrote me a RX and I have been controlled ever since... In my case EVRYONE in my family has HI BP even my 100LB grandpa lol... A good Dr makes the world of difference. Some are just quacks and dont truely care about their patients.

[brianb 81]

What a jerk of a doctor. That doctor is a complete idiot.

That makes me so mad! I'm sooooo sorry you had to go through this. It's hard enough when things go right.

Great job switching doctors though!

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

You know' date=' I never actually experienced this before. I really thought that some people just made this sort of stuff up. But after the phone call with my primary care doctor yesterday, I am seeing things differently now.

Back in January I had started doing research on weight loss surgery, and I found this website. I decided that the LapBand would be the best option for me and I started to get really excited about the possibility to be satisfied with smaller portions, to be able to learn the self control and good eating habits to make this a success, and to just start a new life. So I talked to my doctor about it. She agreed it sounded like a good option for me. Gave me a referral to a Bariatric Surgeon and I started to do their pre-op program (including spend money on classes and exercise equipment, all of which my doctor knew). Things were looking real good. I found out that my doctor hadn't submitted her official referral paperwork though - she didn't submit her letter of medical necessity either. So I gave them a call and they said I would need to come in and sign a release, odd, I thought, since all the other referrals I hadn't had this problem.

Last week I received a very odd voicemail from my doctor. The receptionist said she wanted to schedule me to talk to my doctor about appetite suppressants. What?? I couldn't understand why on earth my doctor would even think that was an option for me - especially since I have a rapid heart rate already. I am already on meds to LOWER my heart rate and now she wants me to try appetite suppressants, which increase the risk of heart complications? I was very confused my this voicemail, so I called back and of course no one had any idea what I was talking about - they told me to leave a message with my nurse and someone would call me back. I sorta forgot about it over the weekend, until yesterday.

Yesterday I got the call from my doctor so that she could explain what was going on. Long story short (too late! haha) she didn't think bariatric surgery was right for me. She thought that since my other medical issues were all straightened out (no sleep apnea, heart rate under control, Iron levels in normal ranges, hormones controlled by BC pills) that I should give it "another shot" at doing it on my own. And couldn't support my choice for lapband surgery unless I did an additional 3 months diet/exercise with her. Forget the fact that I had already spent the past 3+ months talking to her about diet, exercise, and healthy habits. Forget the fact that I already been making lifestyle changes (give up Coke, drinking more Water, eating Protein shakes for Breakfast [instead of not eating breakfast at all']). None of that matter. It apparently wasn't good enough for her because I while I was extremely heavy, I have no other comorbidities. She couldn't bother to tell me this 3 months ago when I first mentioned it. She had to wait.

And I know that insurance companies often require a 3 to 6 months diet/exercise plan to get approval, but this wasn't that. As far as my insurance was concerned I had already fulfilled that requirement (my doctor appointments in January, February, and March fulfilled this). This is just my doctor and her own prejudice. She tried to explain to me that she has seen the lapband fail. And that "You know, you still have to learn those habits." and all I could say was "Yes, I know that. I know this is a just a tool. Its just an accountability partner." to which she said "Well, you can still eat around it. You still have to learn to choose Oranges over Oreos."

That was the part that really made me snap. Why does everyone ASSUME that "Oh you're fat, that must be because you pig out on potato chips and sit on the couch all day doing nothing." I am so sick and tired of that attitude!! And from a so called medical professional nonetheless??? Surely she of all people realizes that there are other things that cause obesity??

After I got off the phone with her I had a very good long cry. I was absolutely devastated - like all my dreams that I was only weeks away from achieving were being shattered. My husband was so supportive, and he was even angrier than I was at what she had said to me, and how I had been led along for 3 months now into thinking everything was OK. If she had said 3 months ago when I first mentioned it "Ok, I'm going to need to put you on a supervised diet for insurance reasons, since I don't have your complete medical history, and then I'll put in the approval," I would be DONE BY NOW. But no, she waited and pulled me along, and then told me that weightloss was as simple as choosing "Oranges over Oreos" and exercising a little bit.

So today I found a new doctor. I know at this point I am going to have to do the diet and exercise for 3 months because they will need that for their records (since I'm a new patient). But I would much rather work with someone who hopefully has more sympathy and experience with fat people.

/ rant

Very sad. I am happy though you found a new doctor. Maybe you can file with your state medical board something about the first doctor. Good luck with everything

[soanl1412 71]

You do not need to start over at all! Just ask for a copy of your chart or medical records and they will that the three months of monitoring. I am glad u stood up for yourself and found a new doctor! I work in the medical field and the predudice is disturbing and upsetting. Good luck to u in your journey

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

This is a little off topic but a funny story about insensitive Doc's. so when I was 17 I spent 8 months in the hospital going through intense chemotherapy as I had been diagnosed with Leukemia. I had a team of 3 Oncologists that were caring for me. They did rounds one week each. There was one doctor' date=' Dr. Dole who was this real little indian guy. I couldn't stand him. IF I had the appetite to eat I would sometimes eat bad foods. pizza, sandwiches, chicken wings etc.. Most of the time I had to be forced to eat. Well every time he came in my room he would make little smarta** remarks about my food, my weight, sugary drinks I was drinking etc.. "How do you expect to live a healthy life eating like this?" "Oh, Doritos, you need to get rid of those".

One day I snapped on him (I was on a lot of medicine in a lot of pain and eventually my filter disappeared. "I'm not here to get skinny. I'm here because I have cancer. I don't give a damn if I'm fat. I only have a 30% chance to live for give years, I couldn't give two sh*** less if I'm Fay or not. Get out of my room. You aren't my doctor anymore. I refuse to deal with an a**hole like you" (something like that ) the exp<b></b>ression on his face was awesome. I told my favorite oncologist of the three I only wanted to deal with him and ten years later he is the only one that has ever been a part of my treatment. Some doctors are a**holes. They have no idea what it's like to be fat, and are very insensitive to the issues that we face. (Sorry for the language)

[/quote']

I am happy you are here to tell your story.

[kileybug34 173]

You do not need to start over at all! Just ask for a copy of your chart or medical records and they will that the three months of monitoring. I am glad u stood up for yourself and found a new doctor! I work in the medical field and the predudice is disturbing and upsetting. Good luck to u in your journey

Definitely do this...this could save you time. I am so sorry that this person that calls herself a doctor treated you this way. People can be so demeaning. I am glad that you found a new doctor and I hope this one works out for you. Hang in there, it will be worth it!

[2muchfun 8,927]

Many healthcare/insurance plans provide a set amount of $ for each patient(capitation). For instance, if a doctor accepts a group of patients for a specific plan he/she is given a set amount of money to care for each patient.

Let's just say, for each patient the physician or the clinic/practice is provided $10,000/yr to provide all their healthcare. Let's say this clinic has 100 patients who qualify for this plan and either the patient or the patient's employer pays into the plan.100 X 10,000= $1,000,000. The clinic receives $1,000,000 to care for all 100 patients. If the clinic keeps their costs below the $1,000,000 they make a profit. If they exceed the $1,000,000 they lose money. So, the clinic/physician makes a higher profit if they deny elective benefits like this.

Many times you can just follow the money and I would bet this physician discovered the $10,000 would go against their yearly stipend. I'm not saying it's OK I'm just saying it was profit driven. And you will see more of this once Obamacare is the law of the land.

Currently, accountable care organizations(ACO) are driving many decisions like this. Leaning heavy on doctors, physician groups and healthcare facilities to drive down costs. In many cases they are successful and justified, but in your case I don't think so. jmo

tmf