No longer feeling out of control/ ready to move on...

[NYC1992 135]

I was approved on Monday and chose my surgery date on Tuesday. Was SO excited and happy that my time was finally coming... had been in the process since July and put in so much work to achieve the approval all on my own without much support from family/friends. I wanted a March date badly so that I could lose a proud amount for my 21st birthday in early May, so I chose March 27 - only having 1 day to say goodbye to eating how I did my whole life.

So Wednesday (yesterday) I kinda loat it and could only think about food. My sleep cycle has been off for non-related reasons, so I did not know when to start the Protein Shakes. I ended up slipping up when an issue with insurance came about (fixed now but it upset me) and ate some food.

Today I had one out of the five Protein shakes I'm supposed to have... but I find myself only focusing on the food I crave. I wanted to change everything so badly but I literally feel like a wild animal out of control. I'm so hungry both physically and mentally that I am losing confidence in myself every hour

[Jona8698 12]

Don't get discouraged. The liquid diet is in place so your liver and other organs will be as small as possible. It's not a deal breaker to have a little hic up. You want to eat now because of the obsession with food. It does get better after surgery. I will tell you that until you have had 3 fills, you will probably feel like you can eat more than your allowed. You have to be strict. Then after the 3rd fill you will most likely have restriction. Best of luck to you!

[FLORIDAYS 3,040]

Didn't your dr tell you when to start the liquid diet? It's the hardest thing I have ever done but the results were terrific..I lost 22 lbs on the 2 week pre op.... And I had a successful surgery. You must put forth this effort now or put off your surgery until you are more stable. Because not following instruction after you are banded can cause harm to your band.

What you are feeling is normal. But remember your life isn't all about food and when you are through with the losing of your journey you will thank yourself on a daily basis. Best wishes to you!!!

[CHEZNOEL 4,061]

I agree... if you cannot get hold of your emotions now, I would postpone the surgery and seek food counseling first. It is a major lifestyle change and if you were truly ready, I don't think you would be fighting it so hard. Good luck.

[NYC1992 135]

I wouldn't say it's that I'm obsessed with food at all because I was never a binge eater before... I just feel like I'm all alone with this and extra-sensitive. I don't know anyone my age going through this so it's bringing on all these new feelings I didn't have before.

Telling me I'm may not be ready is just making me more upset. I should be proud of myself of all the hard work I did put into this (6 months diet/being weighed, blood work, psych evals, seminar, consultations) and now that I'm thinking clearer, I feel more empowered.

[koolkel 80]

As a newly banded person, I can relate. I didn't have a pre-op diet but was on only liquids for three weeks after. I was overly focused on food for the first three or four days. I made lists of what I was going to eat as soon as I could eat again. I pored over recipes and everything on television made me hungry....

It went away, that craving for food. Soon my body wasn't hungry and my mind was more focused on the weight I was losing. That scale is a huge reinforcer!

Now that I can eat again, I have no desire for most things on my list. I can't wait to eat a salad, but BBQ wings and French fries and mashed potatoes and such don't turn me on.

Hang in there and focus hard on your goals. Be proud of how far you have come and remember that this is temporary. In a few months, you will be able to eat( taste?) just about anything. Your body will change, your appetite will change, and your mind set will change as well.

[FLORIDAYS 3,040]

I wouldn't say it's that I'm obsessed with food at all because I was never a binge eater before... I just feel like I'm all alone with this and extra-sensitive. I don't know anyone my age going through this so it's bringing on all these new feelings I didn't have before.

Telling me I'm may not be ready is just making me more upset. I should be proud of myself of all the hard work I did put into this (6 months diet/being weighed, blood work, psych evals, seminar, consultations) and now that I'm thinking clearer, I feel more empowered.

Based on your first post I mearly suggested you might need more time. It wasn't meant mean spirited....

But that still doesn't explain why you are feeling the way you are. It's normal to be nervous...with or without family support. You are about to take a drastic step. Just relax, follow your drs orders and everything will be fine. Maybe seek out someone on this forum close to your age and stage of the journey for some one on one sharing and support

Best of luck!!

[ItsANewDay 119]

NYC, I completely understand what you are going through, my experience is very similar. I scheduled my surgery three days out from being approved. During that three day period I must have had 10 "last meals", I had no self control whatsoever during that pre op time. It does get much better after surgery, especially after you get a few "fills". You are not alone. Great job on your pre op! It's awesome you are feeling empowered now. Good luck with your surgery.

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

Telling me I'm may not be ready is just making me more upset.

No one is trying to upset you, however, they are giving honest answers. It's imperative to have your head in the right place before going under the knife. As the saying around here goes, the band goes around your stomach not your brain. It can't change the way you think or feel about food.

I'm not saying to postpone your surgery, I'm just saying that you need to have a honest moment with yourself before going forward with it: Are you emotionally ready for the major lifestyle changes being successful with the band will require you to make?

Best wishes on your journey.

[dani_nyc 224]

Quite a few people I've spoken to had emotional breakdowns in the beginning.. It's better that its happening now than after surgery!

Try to get in more of your Protein shakes.. If your having a hard time try one from Jamba juice.. They make awesome "protein shakes fir beginners"

Utilize your veggies during this stage... I never enjoyed broccoli and Brussels sprouts so much in my life.. And salad!!! Yummn ud be surprised how many good fat free dressing there are

You just have to start looking at things from a different perspective!

[GoingforGoal 1,734]

Riiiiighhhttt because liquids for 2 weeks is normal and easy to do right? And none of us bandsters ever struggled right? Let's get real...

Sweety, I disagree with alot of comments on this thread. Go to your email.

Surround yourself with support, not those who make you doubt yourself.

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

Riiiiighhhttt because liquids for 2 weeks is normal and easy to do right? And none of us bandsters ever struggled right? Let's get real...

Sweety' date=' I disagree with alot of comments on this thread. Go to your email.

Surround yourself with support, not those who make you doubt yourself.[/quote']

No one here is trying to make her doubt herself. We care enough to be honest, not blow rainbows and sunshine because it's easier or feels good.

Support isn't telling someone what they want to hear. Support is having enough heart for another person to be honest in their best interest, even if it's not cheerful.

[Karina150 34]

I have had the lapband for 10 days and it is a life changing journey that is VERY challenging. Emotional moments, food cravings beyond what you could imagine, body adjusting to lower amounts of food/liquids, and feeling like you are alone in the moment really tests you. However, this forum provides such amazing support, ideas, and understanding it helps you feel like you are not alone. People here get it. They understand the food cravings, hunger pains, and so many other things regarding our journeys to being healthier. You will go through challenges and you have to keep your eye on the prize and why you wanted to go down this path in the first place. Set small goals for yourself and they will add up to great rewards in time. Best of luck to you and keep moving forward....

[Summerrain 520]

NYC what you're feeling is normal. Ill outline how I was once I got my date for surgery.

Surgery date was 2nd July 2012, one month before I had to do Optifast replacement meal three times a day and 2 cups of vegetables for dinner.

The last week leading up to my liquid diet I went into pannick mode also and ate anything and everything as if it was my last meal. In that one week I put on 4 pounds and was totally disgusted with myself and felt horrible. 2nd June 2012 I started my liquid diet, I was determined from that day to stick to it so I could shrink my liver for my operation. During that time I wasn't 100% compliant, maybe 90% compliant. Did it mean I wasn't ready for surgery? Nope it meant a four week liquid diet was the hardest thing I've had to do. If I did eat something it was either Protein or fruit. My op day arrived and I had dropped 22 pounds, surgeon was happy enough and I had my lapband put into me.

Once I had my lapband and was in the healing stage I stuck to my rules 100% as I didn't go through what I did to not follow rules and have something go wrong. Once my hunger returned ( about 3 weeks post op) I made sure I kept extra busy so I wouldn't eat, that was hard too but I worked on myself mentally each day. Fifty years of bad habits are not going to disappear overnight, it takes time but with sheer will and determination it can be done. As I type this I'm a few pounds away from loosing 100 pounds since I began my journey (10 months). The mental side of things has been a challenge but every hurdle and struggle has been so well worth it. I've been in the greenzone since my fifth month of being banded. To this day I can still struggle to keeping to my portions allowed per day because its the head thing and not actual hunger I'm feeling so I keep myself busy every day and that helps.

So please take a deep breath, don't see this stage you're on as never being able to eat food again. You will and nothing is going to be off limits, it will all be about healthier choices and having small indulgences from time to time and getting yourself active. Once you see that scale go down and you see yourself shrinking that should be enough encouragement to keep going and getting mentally stronger every day.

If you don't try your hardest now six months or twelve months down the track you'll wish you had done it earlier.

The beginning is tough but all so worth it.

[JanB160 16]

I agree... if you cannot get hold of your emotions now' date=' I would postpone the surgery and seek food counseling first. It is a major lifestyle change and if you were truly ready, I don't think you would be fighting it so hard. Good luck.[/quote']

It's true that if you cannot get your cravings under control, then having this surgery won't help at all.