I feel like I am starting over

[sandiburn 23]

Hello All,

I had my surgery 8-4-11. After the surgery I did great. I was eating good, I got into a bootcamp class and exercised 4 times a week. I had a goal to be in a size 10 by our vacation 6-2012. I did not hit tha tgoal. I was a size 12. I started at 215 and got down to 170. And then I hit a wall. I plateaued. I worked really hard and could not loose another pound. I think that is what started my backward spin. Since then, I cant get myself to exercise on a regular basis. I am not eating right. And I frankly have lost the "want to".

About 3 mts ago, I decided that I needed to get a new DR. I refuse to go back to the dr that did my surgery. He is a self-centered a**. So I went to the Ft Worth Lap Band. I went in to get an adjustment, since it had been about 8 mts. Everyone there seemed nice. I got a fill and about 5 days later I realixzed i was too tight. I could not eat anything, I could not sleep without choaking, etc. I was miserable. So I want back the last week in Jan to have some taken out. Now I can eat anything. I dont think I am tight enough. I am scared to get another fill, but at the same time I know I need it. I also dont want to have to pay the $150.00 again.

After the fill, We set up an apt with the nutritionalist. I think she was about 18 and was not relatable at all. She did not tell me anything that I did not already know. "do this...dont do this..." If I could do that , I would not have to have the surgery!!!

I just feel that I am all by myself. My husband still wears the same size he wore in HS and my son is the same. I want to start over, but I feel that I have no support system and no one to do this with. Dont get me wrong, my family is all for me getting healthy and loosing more weight, they just dont understand how hard it is. I dont want to sound excuse driven. I'm not that kind of person. I am a retail manager and I spend ALL day coaching people and telling them "you can do it!!". Its just so hard to turn that energy around to myself.

So here I am, back up to 190 and I really want to start over. I have 25 lbs to loose. I REALLY want to do this, just fell so alone.

Thanks for listening

[sue419 1]

Oh my God, this could have been written by me!!!!! I feel the same way. I had my surgery 10/2009 and my weight is slowly creeping back - I say slowly but honestly I feel like it did overnight. I still get my adjustments every few months but the last year I kinda lost all my willpower and started eating things I havent touched in 2 years. Now I will be happy to go back to where I left off at 168..........now I am 30 pounds heavier (but still 75 pounds lighter pre-surgery) maybe together, we can do this!!!!!!!! Good luck!!!!!

[Draven 188]

I totally understand. Similar here. I started at 320. I lost about fifty. Was doing great. And than, well, life happens. I got hit with alot of family drama. ALOT! So diet and food and weight were all put on the back burner. I gained weight. I was eating Wendy's again. Justifying to myself that I needed a hamburger with my bacon and cheese potato. I was definitely going down hill. I decided I needed to start over. The day after Christmas I went into the doctor. I was kindly reprimanded. LOL. They asked me what was wrong, I told them all the drama. They said they were shocked I didnt gain back more. So I started over and am now down 20. I had a fill problem, they didn't unfill, I was the problem. I never watched bite size. I do now!!!!lol.

The bottom line is, if I could start over and do it, You definitely can. I am like the worst with will power. LOL. We can do this.

[jfc193 718]

I know how difficult life journey can be. I was banded in 2007 so it has been awhile.

I too have gained weight and gained back around 40 lbs to 250 but currently am back to 230, For a few seconds I did flirt with being under 200 but I was to tight and lost weight because I could not hold anything down not to healthy.

I know that without my band I would still be over 330 pounds with diabities and sleep apnea.

I still appreciate my band because I am at a proper fill and it is up to me not to overdue all those comfort foods.

In any case I went away from this board where my support came from. Hopefully I will not make that mistake again.

[B-52 7,113]

I certainly cannot Dx over the web, but I know many people who have gone through this.....not saying this is you,

just some general info....

It is a FINE LINE between being too tight and not eating properly to get along with the band....many people complain about eating too much, get a fill but do not modify their

eating behavior, get stuck, go back and get a un-fill, and find themselves back where they started.....

If I had any way to see what I eat during a normal 24 hr period BEFORE I had this surgery...I would not believe it to be possible.....but over 6 months, one fill at a time, behavior changes all the way (sometimes the hard way) I did get there...

THAT was probably the hardest thing about this WLS...that learning curve, Bandster Hell, Bandster Bootcamp......whatever you call it....after that...easy-peasy....all coasting from then on.....but getting there....another story.

I know a person who after her 3-4th fill...every fill after that, she gets an un-fill...11 TIMES! All she needs to do is stop trying to eat the way she did when she was living the fat life....can't do it!

[hely88 883]

The first thing I did to get back on track was to get a copy of my doctors guidelines. Then I started following them. I started measuring and tracking everything. I also went to a nutritionist that works with my and doctor and took about a weeks worth of days with me. It is not easy but how you succeed and what you get is totally up to you. You dd great so you obviously know how to work with the band. Do you have any notes or trackng that you did when you were successful. It comes down to what I hear on this site a lot. You have to have want power and you have to do this for you and motivate yourself. Best of luck to you!

[sandiburn 23]

Thanks all. I am looking forward to getting back on track.

[Fakegrandmother 4]

Do you attend a support group? I go at least 2x a month and weekly when I am struggling. Even though the topics are not always just what I need or some of the people get on my nerves, it keeps me focused on this journey and what I need to do. You said FT Worth.....FW Lapband has weekly support groups on Tuesday at 6:00. Also Medical Plaza Hospital in FW has monthly groups....chck website.

There is much support available to you if you just reach out. Good luck!

[sandiburn 23]

I would like that, however, I work 6 days a week and have a disabled mom that I help take care of. Extra time is hard to find. I also attend AA meetings. I have been sober for 10 yrs and those meeting are more important to me. I will get back on track. This week has been good,.

[Draven 188]

Sandi, I gotta say something. Reading through these posts I want you to know that I think you are such a strong, smart, and heartfelt person. I have absolutely no doubt you can do this. You can consider us your support group. We all , for the most part, have had set backs . We are all human. None of us perfect. You have taken the first step, reaching out on here. We shall all now reach back. Together we can do this. Best of luck.

[hely88 883]

Draven you rock ! I also second what you wrote!

[sandiburn 23]

Sandi, I gotta say something. Reading through these posts I want you to know that I think you are such a strong, smart, and heartfelt person. I have absolutely no doubt you can do this. You can consider us your support group. We all , for the most part, have had set backs . We are all human. None of us perfect. You have taken the first step, reaching out on here. We shall all now reach back. Together we can do this. Best of luck

THNAK YOU!!!!! I know that I am strong. But it is sure good to hear it !!!!

I appreciate the support.

[Draven 188]

Thank u hely. Sandi, you have my complete support.

[ebonymc 52]

Hi Sandi, Thanks for writing my story for me (LOL). Everyone here has been so supportive. hely88, thanks for the advice that I wanted to do for some time now but never did.

[Want To Be Thin 0]

I was banded June 5, 2007. Went from 341 down to 220. Played with 220-230 for 4 yrs. Last yr was having heartburn, acid reflux, slimming all the time, so went in and got several cc taken out. I did not go back and the weight came back quickly. I went back this past tuesday at 271.5. Went back to liquids for 2 days, then soft foods. As of this am I was at 263.5. I will admit I want to be thin, I want this and that, but I cannot make my mind follow my heart. I go back 2nd wk of April to have my band tweeked again. Hoping it works this time. No excuse for my weight gain except I went right back to eating the way I use to. Hard to believe I gained almost 50 lbs in 1 yr. Oh well all I can do is try. I was ill as a hornet today because it was raining, cold, grandkids were here; everyone was eating all the things I wanted, but I didn't and it just put me in a bad mood. But it is 10 pm and I did not eat the junk food I have been eating.