Who is looking back at you?

[Stitchy 0]

Who do you see looking back when you look in the mirror? That's what the psych asked me. Hmmm! I don't accept that person I see. It's always a shock to me. In my head, I still weigh 130 lbs, asking "Coffee or Tea?" (Flight attendant in a previous life). Maybe I'm delusional about wanting to get back to 130 lbs. The psych said I should look at 160. What!! I remember that weight. That's not good enough.

[PhotoNut 7]

Some fat girl with a ruddy complextion and far too many wrinkles! Who the hell is that and why does she keep following me around??

[iteLnTx 0]

Everyday that I look in the mirror, I like to find something positive to say about myself. I happen to think I am cute and pretty. Each day I look at this cute person who seems to change almost daily and I think of just how beautiful I will become. I know I will enjoy each and everyday of my transformation.

[piercedqt78 658]

Well, sometimes I see a skinny girl with way too much skin and sometimes I still see a size 22/24 woman. It is weird, in pictures I see a happy healthy skinny mom/wife/woman. But the mental picture is still cloudy. ~Mandy

[Hippo's Hope 0]

My aunt's jowels, my grandmother's neck, and I still don't know whose butt that is!!!!!!!!!

Hope

[mousecrazy 2]

Great question. Right in the middle of my life, I see the same young woman I was, AND I see a mature woman in the making. What I always wonder is what other people see? Young or old? Wise or just a Smarty Pants? (I do hope it is one of those two and not just stupid!)

I guess I'll go stare at myself some more!

[FunnyDuddies 6]

I see a lot of different women. A mom who's kids are starting to give her wrinkles and never has time to wash her hair properly. A wife who is afraid that she is not attractive to her husband, and hates how her boobs look. A teenage hardbody that I used to be. 100 pounds with a great rack and a tight ass. And curves to my waist that were envied by all my friends. Somewhere in there is the confused and scared and worried girl that I am. I still don't know where I am gonna land. I am just in limbo.

[Stitchy 0]

Everyday that I look in the mirror, I like to find something positive to say about myself. I happen to think I am cute and pretty. Each day I look at this cute person who seems to change almost daily and I think of just how beautiful I will become. I know I will enjoy each and everyday of my transformation.

Yeah! I like that!

[Stitchy 0]

I see a lot of different women. A mom who's kids are starting to give her wrinkles and never has time to wash her hair properly. A wife who is afraid that she is not attractive to her husband, and hates how her boobs look. A teenage hardbody that I used to be. 100 pounds with a great rack and a tight ass. And curves to my waist that were envied by all my friends. Somewhere in there is the confused and scared and worried girl that I am. I still don't know where I am gonna land. I am just in limbo.

Amy

Your response just made me cry.:cry ..really. I think deep inside me, I feel all of that, too. You and me... we must be a lot alike. We will survive and have to get to know ourselves again

[3loves 0]

I like this thread Stitchy. This has been on my mind recently and I wondered if some people feel the same way......I don't see the obese person I really am. I don't see a skinny person either. I just see me. Sometimes I look and say, "Wow, who is that fat person?". Maybe that is why I have a problem with food. I'm not sure. Reality usually hits when I see a picture. I hate it. I have to admit that is me. A look in the mirror to me is usually just a glimpse and it's very rare that I take time to look.

This is a good question and can go deep if you really think about it.

Did your psychologist indicate whether it was a good or bad thing of how you saw yourself? I ask b/c I feel the same way and I'm sure why I do.

[FunnyDuddies 6]

We jsut moved into this new hourse, and I have this amazingly large shower across from the sinks. with glass surround. so i'll be in there taking a shower and see my body and a swear to god it still shocks me!! And I keep thinking that i am going to get used to this body just when i start to lose the weight, and the skinny me will scare the hell out of me too. LOL

[Stitchy 0]

Amy

I have the same thing. A mirror across from the CLEAR GLASS SHOWER DOOR!!!! And again, I am still shocked at this fat person. I will NEVER get used to this body. I am glad the banding is coming. The "Gatekeeper" will be watching over me. I want to see the person I think I am.

[Stitchy 0]

Did your psychologist indicate whether it was a good or bad thing of how you saw yourself? I ask b/c I feel the same way and I'm sure why I do.

Actually, she seemed to understand completely. She has been banded herself. She showed pictures of before and let me feel her port (is that cool or what?). She seemed to think that was a good thing to get the physical image in line with the mental image. Anyway, she said she would approve me with no restrictions. Yeah!:biggrin1:

[DonnaB 3]

She can tell you to think along the lines of 160 pounds but don't you believe it! Just keep telling yourself 130 pounds - don't let someone else decide for you. I firmly believe people will live up or down to expectations and she's just given you encouragement to settle for less than your dream. Make your own goal then keep reaching till you get it. The only obstacle you can't overcome is the one in your head!

[Stitchy 0]

Thanks, Donna. That's what I think, too. I wasn't happy at 160 the first time around. I don't think I would be happy again. If I wanted to "settle", maybe. But I am self pay and this is taking a huge commitment, both financially and emotionally. I don't want to stop short. I've got great support from DH and this forum.