Friends don't just understand...

[Karen85 16]

I been on a liquid diet for over 3 wks now from my preop diet n post op diet and my friends don't even wanna hang out with me anymore cause they wanna go out to eat and i can't eat. I always find out they go shopping n then they say oh we went to red mango so we didnt wanna eat in front of you! I feel like they dont understand i am surrounded by food everywhere i go! I work i cook for my family . My coworkers n family eat in front of me... N i told them if u girls wanna grab a bite to eat i will look inside a store and shop. Did anyone have this problem with any of their friends??? I feel all left out and i feel hurt just cause i cant eat, they wont even invite me and they are always saying well idk u cant eat so we cant hang.

[naturallyjai 129]

I am sorry you are dealing with this now at time where you would really want your friends to be supportive. I only told two of my friends and we adjusted plans because of my pre/post op diet. They didn't want to eat in front if me either so we did other things that didn't involve food. We have worked out together, window shopped, and went dancing. Why don't you plan an activity for you all to do together.

[Karen85 16]

I am sorry you are dealing with this now at time where you would really want your friends to be supportive. I only told two of my friends and we adjusted plans because of my pre/post op diet. They didn't want to eat in front if me either so we did other things that didn't involve food. We have worked out together' date=' window shopped, and went dancing. Why don't you plan an activity for you all to do together.[/quote']

Thanks. I already told them lets just do a little shopping and go have some coffee at dunkin donuts n they were saying oh we hang out around lunch or dinner time and it wouldn't be right. We can hang for like 2hrs n thats it but they dont understand. I havent seen them since january.

[Banjo257 920]

Find a way to get it through their heads.

I had the sample situation my entire life but for a different reason. I don't drink, never have. I was never included in any parties that would include alcohol.

Good luck

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

I been on a liquid diet for over 3 wks now from my preop diet n post op diet and my friends don't even wanna hang out with me anymore cause they wanna go out to eat and i can't eat. I always find out they go shopping n then they say oh we went to red mango so we didnt wanna eat in front of you! I feel like they dont understand i am surrounded by food everywhere i go! I work i cook for my family . My coworkers n family eat in front of me... N i told them if u girls wanna grab a bite to eat i will look inside a store and shop. Did anyone have this problem with any of their friends??? I feel all left out and i feel hurt just cause i cant eat' date=' they wont even invite me and they are always saying well idk u cant eat so we cant hang.[/quote']

Just tell them you are fine with them eating. Right after I was banded I took my brother out for dinner and a tea. I was fine. I have also brought into restaurants carnation high Protein instant Breakfast. I was given that in the hospital. Good luck with every thing.

[naturallyjai 129]

I am really not trying to be mean with this question but I have to ask: is there a hint of jealousy? I only told two friends about my surgery for a reason. One friend in particular I know would not have been supportive. If you have tried to express your frustrations, true friends will be understanding and willing to make adjustments. Is there a support group in your area? Maybe, until you can eat again, you need to surround yourself with people who know what you are going thought. If you need to chat, inbox me. You have a community of people of understand right here.

[Summerrain 520]

Your friends are being immature and hurtful. It's your choice to decide if it bothers you if others eat in front if you or not. I'd tell them how they are hurting you and if they really care and are genuine friends they will listen.

[dani_nyc 224]

Be open and upfront with them. If they are not understanding then its time to reevaluate your friendships...

Our support group is I think next Wednesday the 20th! At least for the time being surround yourself with a good support line..

Maybe they are jealous.. But maybe they are just uneducated on what your dealing with. Either way.. It's about you not them, so don't let them make it about them!

[feb27bandwoman 112]

How long will you be on a liquid diet? Seems like it should be ending soon.

[Creekwood 702]

I guess I am lucky to be a guy! We could care less about eating in front of our friends who can't enjoy the same.

For instance I have a friend who can't eat cheese. So if we eat out with him my one friend goes out of his way to discuss how he can't imagine his life if he couldn't eat cheese! Lol. I've always thought it was cruel and I avoid the conversation. But I know that we would never avoid him because of what he couldn't eat.

Sounds like you need to let them know just how much it hurts you. I know you have told them, but maybe emphasize how much it truly hurts. If you do that and they still don't understand and change then it sounds like you need to reevaluate these "friends", and figure out if they deserve to be a part of your life.

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

sometimes people just dont have manners and sometimes people just have a clue (to what they do) in regards to how it makes us feel......i deal with that each and every day..i cant say it will get easier, but your head seems to be in the game and that is all you need to worry/focus on, you...do what works for you...if they dont wanna hang out, come hang out with us on this forum...we cant control other people, we can only control how it affect us.

[line-dancer 810]

Are your friend over weight? if they are then they are jeoulos that you are doing something positive for yourself. These are not friends or they would be supportive in any wa the by they could be. The know they are hurting you and hope you will give this up and start eating your old way. I go out to eat and have Soup after I got the bsnd put in. Now that I am getting near goal people are telling me to stop I am getting to thin but realy I am getting close to there weight but I love it and will keep going weight loss if for me not anyone else.

[Veronica68 81]

I experienced something similar with one of my friends. She was frustrated that I really didn't want to go out to eat. I didn't want the temptation. If we did go out to eat, there were only a few places I wanted to go, that had something on my plan that I like. It was especially hard when we went on vacation. She did make an effort to be supportive but I know she was frustrated. I do think there was a little bit of jeasousy there. She is overweight, not nearly as big as I was but needs to loose 40 or so pounds.

I am sorry you feel left out by your friends, I would too. I think when someone doesn't participate in the eating, it can make others uncomfortable. I hope it gets better once you are off the liquid diet, shouldn't be too much longer I wouldn't think. Hang in there and keep communication with your friends open. Hope it gets better!

[4sweeties 63]

I would try to go along with their plans not talking about pre op diets etc. Just do it without telling them ahead of time, so you don't have to listen to their rebuttles. When they order food, get Soup. If it's fast food and soup is not available, just get a drink or coffee. Stay positive. If they say that's all you're getting while we eat, say it's fine. I am ok with it. If it is hard to see them eat, tell yourself, it is worth it for you to become healthy. Do a lot of the talking during food time. If it is still too hard to watch people eat, take a break from these friends.

[donna12 742]

I lost a friend during my surgery journey. Haven't spoken to her in 9 months. Never once did she call to see how my surgery went or anything. I've tried numerous times to contact her and nothing. She is on the heavy side and the three of us friends one who had had gastric bypass is skinny now and then I decided to have lap band so maybe she felt left out idk but she doesn't speak to me anymore. We had been friends for 20 yrs.