An "Interesting" Year (long, sorry)

[morelgirl 177]

I had my band (Realize, 11 cc) implanted on February 1, 2012, so a little over a year ago, which seems a bit surreal, but today I had the most exciting appointment since my initial consultation. No, it wasn't because I reached my goal (oh, I wish!!!), but because it made me excited about my band again.

I had a remarkably easy surgical experience. Maybe too easy. I was home barely five hours after surgery with nothing to report but that pesky shoulder pain. My surgery was on Wednesday, and I was back at work by Monday. Since the completion of my initial healing, I've never had any negative symptoms from having the band. In fact, there have been days when I have, unfortunately, wondered if the doctor told the truth about putting the darned thing in. To say I haven't reached my sweet spot is an understatement.

For the first 6 months, I was careful, followed my surgeon's and nutritionist's guidelines, and lost about 25 lbs. Hardly a miracle, but I was happy. To me, that was real, noticeable progress, and I was fine with a slow rate of loss. I wanted to hit my sweet spot, but my surgeon was filling me slowly, and i still wasn't feeling restriction. Then I hit month 7. And month 8. I went up to 8 ccs in my band. The loss slowed to a crawl and stopped altogether. I got discouraged. I got angry. Most of all, I got hungry. So, I ate. I stopped stopping when my plate was empty and started looking to feel full. I started to regain weight. And I went through a period where (as a self-pay patient) I just couldn't find a way to spend the money required for a follow up and fill appointment with my surgeon. I regained more of what I'd lost. It kind of sucked.

Then, just after the new year, I got a notice from my doctor's office that the surgeon who had installed my band and done my follow up had left the practice, and I would need to transfer my case to one of his colleagues. I also got a handle on my finances, so I called and made my first appointment in 6 months. That appointment was this morning.

I LOVE my new doctor, for a lot of reasons. She wasn't easy on me; she made me take responsibility for my lack of progress and my regain, but she understood my frustration. She agreed that the band couldn't be expected to really do its job if I wasn't experiencing any restriction. She first checked to be sure my fill really was at 8 ccs, and it was. I had no leaks to blame. While it is unusual for a patient to not experience any restriction at that level, she reassured me that it wasn't unheard of. I wasn't the only person to ever be in this position. She proposed a new plan for my band experience and she made me happy and hopeful and optimistic again, the way I felt when I first got my band. I'm in love.

Today, I got an extra 1 cc in my band, bringing me to 9 cc total. I'm on liquids for at least the rest of the day and probably tomorrow as well, but I feel entirely different MENTALLY and I really believe that's the most important thing for me right now. My new doctor also made my next appointment for me before I even left the exam room--for 2 weeks from today. She agreed that getting me to my sweet spot is hugely important and that if I have to go in every two weeks, or even every week, until we get the fit of my band exactly right, then that is what we will do. WE will work together and WE WILL get this band to work. End of story.

Today, I feel marvelous. My new doctor is even better than my old one (who I was never unhappy with) and she said exactly the things that I needed to hear to get me back on this journey. She reminded me that I CAN be successful, but that my lack of success so far is not ALL my fault (for someone who has failed at every diet known to man or god before this, hearing this is HUGE). I am not blameless, and I know where I've gone wrong, but I can't be expected to succeed with the band until the band goes to work, and having the doctor acknowledge that and take steps to fix the problem means more to me than I can say.

Today, I am starting over, and today I am ecstatic. Today is the next first step to becoming a successful bandster.

Go me!

[Spaness2012 609]

I can feel the excitement jumping off the page! I am glad you went back.....I am glad you recommitted to the process.

Congrats

[jaydee7 63]

Wow. I'm glad you didn't just give up && congrats on getting back in track!(:

[bethcav 68]

Wow good for you!!! Hoping you have a successful journey with your weight loss. Sounds like your there mentally and finally getting the restriction you need. Best Wishes !!

[2muchfun 8,927]

Great story and keep tuned here so you can relate to others who have been where you are and want to bail. You're an inspiration!

[marfar7 1,533]

Good job!

[Bubie1916 59]

Good for you!!! All the best!!

[ktsped 42]

Wow! Great Story! Keep up the good work...you inspire me!

[Lose100 178]

I could of wrote this myself!

[Sojourner 2,446]

I did wonder what happened to you...so happy to read that you are back in the game again!

Best wishes for success with your journey...keep in touch!

[**IP~LB** 279]

Fantastic!! Have a super year and I wish you much success!

[morelgirl 177]

Thanks so much to everyone whop responded. I'll admit, a part of me is still dealing with a little shame, the part that's says, "in a year of having the band, you should have been able to lose X amount of weight and keep it off, you failure." Bit I'm doing my best to ignore that part and remember that the band is a tool, and that no tool will do a job by itself, nor will it work if it's not correctly tuned up and used. So there.

[Baba Wawa 543]

Way to go! Hope the added fill does the trick!

[Lose100 178]

Don't be shamed!!!!!! Any weight loss is better than no weight loss. Don't look back and only look ahead. Please stop beating yourself up. Leave the pass in the pass. Today is a new day. This year WILL be better!!!!!!