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back to square one...

IF a thread has been deleted and YOU feel the need to continue the discussion, just start another one....

like JanetC did with the Scar stages.

Life went on.

This hasnt ever been an issue before, like Kathy was saying - even in a larger scale of deleting episodes.

I think its the recent newbies (2?) that thought it WAS a big deal (regards to Vines thread) and started inquiring about it. Now these changes have to happen??

:(

Other then Alexandra, Id really like to hear what the other moderators have to say about this. Betty, Penni, Kellymoos..... whats your thoughts?

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I'm not crazy about the 24 hour edit button since I think edits can be useful for many threads after the limit like the "total loss" sticky thread.

But I have to say I'm in 100% agreement about people not deleting their entire thread. I think it's childish to think you can take things back after you "Say" / "Post" them and have the right to remove what everyone else says. The world don't work that way, why should this? Also what does it hurt to leave post on the board that were quick questions? They would just sink to the bottom and not bother anyone.

I do have a possible suggestion and that is to allow people to "close their own thread" and then if it's an agrument it would stop.

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back to square one...

IF a thread has been deleted and YOU feel the need to continue the discussion, just start another one....

like JanetC did with the Scar stages.

Life went on.

Life goes on if it says also... why is it such a big deal to just leave it?

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TBM, I'm sorry my comment came off as my "pulling a card" on you. I really didn't mean it to sound snotty. :(

Then maybe I'm missing something because what has happened in the past was, indeed, a sweeping, all-encompassing, mass-deletion of threads and posts (mostly posts, for sure) and it only made sense (to me) in the context of "it was theirs to delete, anyway".

(Bolding mine.) Well, if it was mostly posts last time that explains why it would have had less of an impact on me. As I've said, I agree that posts should remain the property of the posters and they should have the right to edit or delete them at will.

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TBM, I'm sorry my comment came off as my "pulling a card" on you. I really didn't mean it to sound snotty. :(

hehe. No worries. It's just me being proprietary. :( I like my new word for me. Thanks!

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Not being able to edit is plain torture to those of us with parents at the Funny Farm. It's my creative outlet, no I take that back, no I really mean it, wait, I didn't mean to say that. I hate you, no I don't I love you and always have except that one minute but it was only kinda dislike, not hate.

Shut up, DeLarla, if you would just be nice the first time around you wouldn't need that damn edit button.

So we have 24 hours to change our minds these days? I guess that's enough time to think AFTER I spoke!

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I actually think this is a good move.

Unfortunately, because of some people abusing the delete option, we have to have a mod delete a thread or post.

If you need a post deleted for whatever reason, you can ask a mod to do it. And we can edit our posts.I think this makes sense and isn't a big deal.

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Ok, here is my 2 cents, if you want it or not your gettin' it. I agree that we need the ability to edit posts, whenever. I also think we sould be able to delete our own post, is it possible to have it delete our posts, and also any quotes that have been made from that post? Have the quote link back somehow? I am not too computer savy so I am totally unsure of this. Also remember that even though you have deleted something, if someone is subscribed, they may very well have a copy of your words in their in box, ya know? I am a member on several other boards and we can't edit or delete anything once the post button has been hit, that sucks. I like that I can make spelling corections and edit in more thoughts or make them more clear. I also like to go back and reread my post at a later time and often find mistakes and I edit them even if they are several months old. It is a way for me to reflect on my thoughts and feelings at the time. I know that it is pointless, but when a person deletes a ton of threads, it also really reduces some members post counts. Like I said I know that really isn't important but some people look at that as a symbol of wisdom, a lot of post equals a lot of knowledge. I am a bit upset that some of the posts that were deleted contained links that are now gone. There were also some recipies that I would have liked to have. I didn't print them cuz I am on my laptop and I can only print from my desktop. I miss several of the members that are gone, not sure why some left, others can go and I won't miss them. I like the harmony that we have had in the past, but all of the bickering is getting to me. I was here during the last big blow-up and it almost made me reconsider joining, and then I considered not staying. I have only been here a little over a year, and I am not a huge poster, but I feel that I do have something to offer, but right now I have to dig to find the people that are really here for support. Someone said that there is no "in crowd" or something to that effect, but I disagree. I was gone for 2 weeks and no one looked for me, but there is an entire post for missing members, right around that same time and I was not mentioned at all. I have been here over a year and do post and PM on a somewhat regular basis. I'm not complaining that I'm not part of the incrowd, but there is a clique here. I have made friends here and I am glad I have this place to vent, and get information but don't really feel that I "fit in". I don't attend a live support group, this is all I have, but I feel like that is slipping away now too. I don't post anything that I wouldn't want anyone with web access to see, but I would like the option to edit as nessary. It is like a huge family fued, someone is going to be unhappy in the end, there is no way around that. There is another option, as for the picture issue, another site I belong to has a photo page that each picture that is uploaded is stored there, you can log on and just look at the new pictures and if they interest you, simply click on them and they take you to the post. If the post is deleted the pictures are still there, until they are archived. Maybe that would work? I am rambling now, but I have been reading this thread and stewing about it since last night, and I just wanted to speak my mind. I am not here as much as I used to be, there just isn't the draw to log in everyday like it used to be. I guess, what I am saying is can't we come to a mutual place and all just get along? ~Mandy

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(((((((((((Hugs Mandy)))))))))

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Also remember that even though you have deleted something, if someone is subscribed, they may very well have a copy of your words in their in box, ya know?

Great point

It is a way for me to reflect on my thoughts and feelings at the time.

Me, too.

but some people look at that as a symbol of wisdom, a lot of post equals a lot of knowledge.

heh. I'm in the Top 5 posters and I have no more wisdom or knowledge than anyone else my "band age" I just need to get a life! LOL

I have only been here a little over a year, and I am not a huge poster, but I feel that I do have something to offer,

You do. We all do. And it's important.

Someone said that there is no "in crowd" or something to that effect, but I disagree. I was gone for 2 weeks and no one looked for me, but there is an entire post for missing members, right around that same time and I was not mentioned at all. I have been here over a year and do post and PM on a somewhat regular basis. I'm not complaining that I'm not part of the incrowd, but there is a clique here. I have made friends here and I am glad I have this place to vent, and get information but don't really feel that I "fit in".

~Mandy

I DO know what you mean. I don't really feel like I "fit in" either. I just talk too much. There are small groups of friends all over this board. I'll start to post and realize...they are just fine without me. Sometimes a small group on a large board like this gives a bit of security. Anyhow, I know what you mean. And I'm sorry you weren't "missed" on the missing person's thread. I like how Jack announces an exit. You have to yell over the din sometimes. Anyhow, I'm glad you are back. That would kind of hurt my feelings, too, so ((((hugs)))).

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Dearest Mandy,

Since Im the person that started the "Missing Persons" thread, Im feeling a huge sense of sadness for your hurt. I am so so so so so sorry for not mentioning your absence. Im going to send you a pm to explain something, ok? ((hugs)) you ARE extremely valuable around here. Everyone is!

Regarding thread topic: I had an outting earlier and really starting thinking about my "stoking the fire" on this thread.

I just felt the need to apoligize to all of you for even adding something - anything.

Once I thought about it, I realized that none of this is really a big deal. Im still gonna be addicted to this place - whether I can delete my threads, edit my post, or not.

:( sorry to Mandy.

:( sorry to everyone else.

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Like I said in response to your PM, no apology needed. I was simply pointing out that there is indeed a clique around here. I come here for information and support, I get that from my friends. A lot of my time here is spent in PM and reading. I don't post much and know that people won't miss me if I am not posting. I would guess that few people actually look at who is online at any given time. Like I said in my PM th "in crowd" all joined around the same time and were banded around the same time, at least most of them. I have a clique of my own, we are just a bit less public about it. We too were all banded around the same time and joined around the same time. I think that the "in crowd" just seems more public. My theory is if you are looking for someone, instead of publicly posting it, PM or e-mail them. I feel the same about the birthday post, send a private message, that would keep the board neater. (Just my 2 cents) So again, my feelings are not hurt, it takes more then an online support group to hurt my feelings. What does hurt is losing my bandland home, it seems like this place is losing some really great people, and that is really sad. As for the deleted threads, I am really upset about the Nana's Holiday challenge thread, it had my measurements in it and I didn't get a chance to save them before it was gone. I have my weight in my journal but not my measurments. I am sad to see Nana go, she was always sweet and kind, she has a beautiful soul and that is what LBT needs. I have discovered that all online groups are like this, they run in waves and the "big guns" seem to weather the storm and the newbies ebb and flow. I guess that like life, things change and we just have to accept that. The changing attitudes and feel of this place are hard changes to swallow, and I'm not sure that the changes are sitting well with me right now. There is a ton of stress in my life and I can't add more from here. We are buying our first house and Abigale is getting ready to have surgery, I am preparing for a very painful series of injections in my really bad knee. It just seems that my life is really crazy right now and instead of coming here and feeling supported and cared about, there is another feeling here, one I can't eplain. I miss the LBT that I found before being banded, the one that held my hand when I was denied 3 times. The one that reminded me to walk and sip even though I already knew that. The LBT that cheered me one when I won the holiday challenge, and cried with me when my baby was sick and we didn't know what was wrong with her. My LBT family prayed for her and she is making progress, slowly but it is happening. That is the LBT that I want, not what we have now, fighting over movies, politics and religion. If we can't all be friends, at least we can be civil. Maybe we all need to remember, if you can't say something nice then keep your damn mouth shut? There have been way too many personal attacks lately and I am sure that prohibits people from posting and even joining. I know that the last big blow-up almost kept me from staying around. I'm not sure what this uproar will do for the LBT family. I hope that everything calms down and go back to normal, but right now I just don't see that happening. ((Paula)) we are cool, honest. ~Mandy

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Paula I do have to tell you, I was really upset at the tone of your last post you are referring to.

Being a "newbie" here, I have felt what Mandy is talking about, but I don't let it upset me because I have never been one to engage in cliques of any sort - in life, in games or in forums. I for one, plan to be around awhile, this is a great source of information for Weight Loss and Surgery.

That probably sets me apart from others - I stand for me and when I see an unjust thing (like in VQ thread) I say what I feel - and when I get jumped on for it, I stand up for myself with DIGNITY; not nasty hurtful words, so I don't have to go back and edit or delete my posts and 3 days I won't have "egg on my face" so to speak.

In Pnut's thread http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=16766&page=16 it says: There are a couple of threads discussing this matter. Please feel free to hop onto them and add your two cents.

Who is going to feel comfortable saying what they think, good bad or otherwise if all that is going to is what I have referred to as "war" or get trampled on for their point of view?

I was not the only "newbie" to post here - there were 5 or 6 of us and the feeling that I got from the older/higher posters was this: you can post on "our" board/forum, as long as we LIKE what you say then you're in, if not get out.

As you can see, "newbies" were not the only ones upset by the full deletion of threads. Hhopefully by someone starting this discussion it will bring a good change. Either way, we ALL have to live with the decisions and rules of the Mods and the actual Owner of this boards, Alex.

In the meantime, refer to my new sig -- you can "debate" "discuss" and "argue" any point in the universe and come out the winner and never hurt anyone's feelings.

that's my 2cents - can I have change back?

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