Would I get the Band again?

[lady in red 0]

Hey Penni, I think I know just how you feel: SON OF A BIT@*, MOTHER FUC#*, and HOLY SH*$!!!! Will this FUC*$NG nightmare with my FUC*@NG weight ever FUC*$NG end!!!! Just say that out loud and you will feel better. You might even laugh or blush if anyone hears you, but you will feel better. This phrase works for me when I'm frustrated or when profanity is needed in a liberal dose. When I'm not shouting strings of harsh profanity, I'm reading from my bible and following with prayers ( it's okay, He knows all about the dirty little words and He said He loves me anyway). My favorite scripture is Matthew 7:7, it has carried me through alot of tough times. Well allow me to step down from my soapbox and offer you heartfelt encouragement. You did not come this far only to start from the beginning again. Relax just a moment and remember: God never gives us more shoes than we can handle, okay? Have you considered talking to your doctor about phentermine? It has worked wonders for a close friend. She has lost 40lb.s in 5 months. She is under her doctor's care and watches sugar and carbs. It is only another option. Diet pills work for some and not for others. Whatever you decide, the very best to you Penni. See Ya!

[Alicia the Lap 0]

Hey,

How come you are taking your bands off anyway? I know i would not cope without mine but then i often wish i never got it .....

[GeezerSue 7]

Hey,

How come you are taking your bands off anyway? I know i would not cope without mine but then i often wish i never got it .....

Most all of the band removals you'll read about have been due to complications of one kind or another.

[GeezerSue 7]

Penni--

We are all so different yet so much the same!!!

I subscribe to the "the-best-predictor-of-future-performance-is-past-performance" school of decision-making. So, while I wouldn't have gone back to retry something that had hurt me in the past, I WAS up for trying something else.

But, you are a health care professional and have seen more than I have. So, although we are dealing with the same stats about the various choices, we are not dealing with the same experiences.

You'll figure out what is best for YOU.

My sister--whose comment when I got the band, over three-and-a-half years ago,was "Well I haven't given up yet"--is convinced that the ten or fifteen pounds she regained "over the holidays," (meaning six months ago, now) can be lost again along with the additional 80 or so pounds she needs to lose by ordering and eating NutriSystem food and going to Curves and Weight Watchers. I know the odds of her doing that and then KEEPING IT OFF are stacked against her...but that is not how she perceives the situation and I couldn't change HER perceptions if I tried. Meanwhile, she'll never convince me that my having wls twice is somehow "giving up."

I know there are those--probably a LOT of them here--who believe that the DS is pretty much suicide. But for ME, at my age, with my history of weight loss "successes," NOT going for something else when the band had to come out was just not an option. I was not going to even be ambulatory if I didn't do something. And I knew that I couldn't handle a new set of dietary restrictions as required by the RnY. That didn't leave many other choices for me. But again, just as you haven't been as old and as almost non-ambulatory as I have been, I haven't seen what you have seen.

One day, you will just know. Our conclusions may not be the same...but we're fighting the same battle and aiming for the same goals and we're intelligent women (except for the food issues, of course) each of whom will find what is right for her.

Sue

[Penni60 45]

Lady In Red: I laughed so hard at your sentence. I have actually said those similar things outloud and shocked my 18 yr old son. He just busted out laughing. Then he said, "Mom you are fine just like you are." So thank you for making me laugh.

Geezersue: I love you. You are such a breath of fresh air. I am so thankful for this forum so I can come and get several different views on their experiences and opinions.

To all the rest, my appt now is in July instead of June. I simply cannot face my doc with this extra weight on me right now. I need another month to at least try to get some off. This morning I now weigh 264 lbs. That is almost a 20 lbs gain since debanding. I am devastated.

I am trying not to focus on it too much but I have to focus on the meals. I am just so tired of all the crap of dealing with counting calories, weighing portions, drinking Water, avoiding sugar and white flour, exercising (like I did anyway), etc. I am just so tired of it all. It just gets too depressing to know that I can't have a piece of cake because my mind doesn't register that I should only have ONE piece or ONE bite. NO I HAVE TO HAVE IT ALL!!!

It's like I am hoarding food in my cheek pouches for later. I would go to the fast food place buy (2) two double cheeseburgers, (2) french fries, and (2) drinks. What am I thinking? I am ONE person and no ones stomach is that big. But what do I do? I eat every last bite of those two meals. Yup every last bite. Then I feel like crap. Would I learn NOPE?!!

Two hours later I am asking everyone what they want for dinner. TWO HOURS LATER PEOPLE!!!

STOP THE INSANITY!!! And that is exactly what it feels like. I feel like I have this other personality that says "EAT EAT EAT now because you might run out of food." Now how insane does that sound? LOL!!!!

Anyway, thanks for listening to my rantings. I know eventually I will either do one of two things in my life.

1= I will finally "GET IT" and begin the road to weight loss finally

2= Never "GET IT" and eventually blow up and explode from too much food in my cheek pouches.

[LindaV 0]

I don't know you, but I really feel the the postion you are in.

Soooooo...if you're ever traveling to the Boise, Idaho area, I'll feed you healthy food. I know some other bandsters here who would too.

Good luck with your decisions and your options.

[DOC 0]

Penni,

I so wish I had the words to help you as you helped me when I was struggling. You are one of the ones who was kind, compassionate, but also kicked my butt when I couldn't get my eating under control in the beginning. I so wish you weren't in the pain you are in, but the fact is ... you are.

We aren't here because we can eat safely! We have ALL gone through those fast food drivethroughs, ordered and ate what you are eating! I was an over eater and a grazier.... I can so relate to those feelings... eating when you aren't even hungry! Hey, I still fight that demon today with the band.

As I said, I am so sorry you are going through this! I can't say what I would do in your position and I pray that I never have to make the decision. One thing I do know.....I would get some type of WLS surgery. Maybe the band, maybe DS ..... maybe the GBP. I don't know, but scarey or not I would do something because left to my own devices, I will eat until I am sick!

I love you my friend and if I can be of any help to you... please know that I am here for you....

Kisses,

[paula 4]

I simply cannot face my doc with this extra weight on me right now. I need another month to at least try to get some off.

WHAT?!?!?!

Why are you gonna TRY to lose weight BEFORE seeing your WEIGHTLOSS Surgeon? This isnt making sense to me!

Im thinking he needs to see you in this state.

If you get 'some weight off' he may think you have this all figured out and NOT encourage more weightloss sugery.

ok, time for Dawg's wet fish slap!

Please keep the June appt. Please?

[DeLarla 22]

No way in hell. Sorry, but the longer I've gone after erosion, the more I'm convinced that the band should only be a short-term implant. This is just based on my own personal experience, but I have one F-d up stomach these days. I know another girl in my same shoes (both banded & de-banded about the same time.)

Penni, you already eroded once... do you really want to take that chance again of possibly having another erosion, not knowing what shape it could leave your belly?

I'm already convinced that if I get back to 300, I will look into a bypass as my last hope of life, but no more band for me. Ouch, YIKES!

Mind you, I'm in my 40s with no children and my future seems kind of bleak considering how bad I struggle with food each day. I was pre-suicidal pre-band, which is why I decided to take such a drastic measure and run off to Mexico for a band. I know I'd feel the same way again at 300, which is why a bypass wouldn't seem as harsh as suicide.

Is that too honest?

[DeLarla 22]

And third of all, everything Sue said. And fourth of all, get your ass on the phone and reschedule your hell-visit to Billy sooner, not later - STAT. Why put it off when you need the encouragement now? Not now, right f-ing now, as Chris would say. Do you think Billy will, respect you any more or less over a few pounds either up or down? No. He's seen it all and has hundreds of patients (does he even know my name?)

Get to Billy, get to Dennis. Heck, maybe you'll meet another patient in the lobby that holds the special key to encouragement that you need right now. Or at least go eat some Mongolian Barbeque for me!

[Penni60 45]

I hear all your good suggestions and recommendations but the thing that is keeping me from re-scheduling my appt is FEAR. I don't wanna be yelled at for something I should have known better. I wanna try to get back on track before I go see him. I know it sounds weird but that is the way I work. LOL!!

It's like you get caught with your hand in the cookie jar and you know you are going to get punished but you run anyway. I an running till I can put the cookie's back. LOL!! Just my own weird head games.

Yes I know it doesn't make sense and yes I know I shouldn't do things that way. But I do and no amount of pushing or prodding will make me do it differently. In fact it will make me dig my heels in deeper and stay on course. I know you all give me suggestions out of love and support and I so appreciate it. I don't expect you to understand or even go along with my line of thinking. I am OK with that.

I can't fight my head demons and deal with feeling like a failure at the same time. Therefore I will NOT go see my docs till the next appt I made.

Love you guys.

[Penni60 45]

Hey Penni,

I've been lurking..... and wanted to say that I think you are one of the bravest, most compassionate person that I have ever met. I'm so sorry that all these troubles have followed you. Hugs for being such a great gal, whatever road you choose, I'm 100% behind you for support. Could you update us on your TV show "biggest loser" application. Did they pick contestants already? Heart Hugs,

Haven't heard from "Biggest Loser" but I did see a commercial on TV the other day where they are still accepting applications for the next season. SO maybe I am not out of the running yet? Believe me if I get chosen you guys will be the FIRST ok well SECOND to know.

[gordonfamily3 0]

Penni - I think you are a very strong person. Working in a WLS office I see it all. All the surgeries still scare the crap out of me except the band. But I do think what ever your choice it will be the right one for you.

From an insurance point of view - if you have gained some weight back go to the doctor now...Your BMI is higher and you always have a better chance if your BMI is higher. I do the insurance pre-certs for our office so I have seen alot of stuff and each insurance is so DIFFERNT..the one thing they stick to is the BMI 40 or higher or 35 - 40 w/ at least one co-morbidity.

I admire you - I love reading your post. You will know what is right for you!!!

[PhotoNut 7]

Let's just say that when I go see my band doc in June that I will be discussing my options and what my insurance will cover.

Hey Penni...

It's June. What's the verdict? Have you been to the Dr yet?

[Penni60 45]

I rescheduled the appt for July. I have way too much going on this month to worry about going to see my band doctor. Family arriving this Saturday and Sunday then my youngest graduates on Thursday the 22nd. Family is here through the 27th.

Just shoot me now. :faint:

It will be fun but man is it gonna be hectic.