I am ashamed...

[m1aman 944]

Ashamed I let myself get up to 388 pounds at one point. Ashamed I didn't want to do things in public or have my picture taken. Ashamed I wasted 15 years of my life before I decided to do something about it. And I am not only ashamed but I am angry at myself for missed opportunities. I let life pass me by year after year and those missed chances are gone forever.

Does anyone else feel this way? Is it normal?

[laurigee 545]

Don't dwell on the past, you can't change it, it's over! Learn from it, move on and don't make the same mistake a day longer! Don't waste the present and future by dwelling on the past! Think of it as a learning period that will help you to achieve your dreams for your future! We all have regrets, that's life! It's never to late to grab the brass ring, you just have to go fo it! Good luck, and stop being ashamed of yourself, it only holds you down!

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

Oh gosh yes!!

I'm so ashamed I let myself get to over 400 pounds. I look at old pictures of myself and feel physically ill. How in the world did I ever let myself get to that point?

What's worse, is now I look like a dang Shar Pei naked because I have so much excess skin. I mean, seriously, it's ridiculous. Every time I see myself and all the skin, it's just another reminder that I have no one to blame but myself. If I hadn't gotten so huge I wouldn't have so much excess skin now.

So...yeah I think those feelings of regret are normal.

But we have to focus on the now not the past. I mean, look at how far you've come!! Don't dwell on what you missed but rejoice in your new life now. Here's the one bonus to that regret- you probably have a whole new appreciation for the small moments in life you missed before. You know how bad it feels to miss it so you can appreciate it so much more now.

Be proud and enjoy your new life, don't dwell on what you missed or you may miss new moments while you wallow in regret.

You deserve to be happy

[♕ajtexas♕ 3,771]

Yes it is normal. I think we all feel that way.

Now, time to forgive yourself and make the changes in your life to be happy and healthy.

You can't change the past, but you can set the future.

[2muchfun 8,927]

I don't. Why? Because we're all ready to do this when the time is right for us. Society, culture all around us tells us that we can do this on our own and we're just lazy. Just read Cassandra James article below?

The point is, you're doing something about it now. I see obese people everywhere. I can see that most of them aren't trying and I want to shake them into knowing what I know now. But we can't do that. No, never. But then you see the guy or gal in the gym or on the walking/biking path and they're making an effort to get in shape. I love to see that. I respect and admire those people just like I'm proud of myself for doing this.

You have people around you who admire what you've done. Soak it in. Embrace it and love the new you.

Sorry to be so sappy but I was overwhelmed for a minute there

http://voices.yahoo.com/why-not-adjustable-gastric-band-6696774.html?cat=51 Cass

James

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

I have be ashamed many times. I have 2 sons, both are around 6'2" and around 16-19 they were 200 lbs. apart. My husband and I were over weight then too and I felt embarrassed for the thin son. I have been over weight for most of my 42 married years. But I always tried to keep up with the boys. I learned to ski when I was 40, with them and we skied for many years together. Now that I have 3 grandsons, I know I will be able to go places with them and walk around a zoo without resting like I did a few years ago. I am sorry it took me until 61 1/2 to have the Band. So all of you young ones-Good for you-for doing it now, not later.

[Tomander 614]

I know I felt that way... that's why I when with WLS (the lapband). I had tried every diet.. i need something that was life changing.

The band did change my life. It was the best thing I ever did for me. Started with a 54" waist now 32"

Tom, Toronto

Banded July 6 06

Wt. Loss: 156 lbs

[m1aman 944]

Somehow, it is comforting to know others have had the same feelings. Thanks for your comments.

Now my eighty year old Father is in the hospital with a urinary tract infection. They said it is not in his bloodstream so he should be okay. But it is hard on my mother for sure.

[Daddyof4 95]

Thank you, M1aman, for posting this. I've certainly felt regret that I waited so long to finally begin to get control over my eating. My therapist calls this type of pity party "kicking the puppy" and I certainly feel like a kicked puppy afterwards. I still have not made the change that so many of us talk about but I'm determined to get there. I'm with tmf too - you can only beat yourself up so long before you realize that it's not helpful and that it's better to focus on the good things you're doing now and the successes you've had along the way. I read the article by Ms. James posted by tmf and it's really frightening that someone can publish such misinformation. Not a single thing in that article is true but such articles do a lot of harm. She is aptly named Cassandra! Keep up the good work M1aman - we're all in this together!

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

Ashamed I let myself get up to 388 pounds at one point. Ashamed I didn't want to do things in public or have my picture taken. Ashamed I wasted 15 years of my life before I decided to do something about it. And I am not only ashamed but I am angry at myself for missed opportunities. I let life pass me by year after year and those missed chances are gone forever.

Does anyone else feel this way? Is it normal?

i feel this way and have felt this way. i believe it is absolutely normal.

i can sit here and list the things i could not do for 2 yrs because of my size/girth.

i do not want to bore you with that..or for anyone thinking i am trying to better them...but i do know, as you do now, that since we are now banded and made a commitment to make ourselves well, our lives is much better and it will continue to get better...what is done is done..its over...sure as heck i wish i could go back and change it....but i cant......and that part of me who struggled at my highest weight, made the person i am right now typing this to you.....just like you are......i am learning from my past and bringing it forward...cant change it so i have accepted it....and accept that for me to change my life, i have to do it. and you know what? i have done that and so have you.

my FIL goes into hospital quite often for bad UTI's and currently MIL in hospital for having a mild stroke...so i feel for you.

[Terry Poperszky 2,784]

Don't dwell on the past, you can't change it, it's over! Learn from it, move on and don't make the same mistake a day longer!

I agree with Lauri, especially the learn from it part.

[MellioM 116]

I don't. Why? Because we're all ready to do this when the time is right for us. Society' date=' culture all around us tells us that we can do this on our own and we're just lazy. Just read Cassandra James article below?

http://voices.yahoo.com/why-not-adjustable-gastric-band-6696774.html?cat=51 Cass

James

That woman is clearly ignorant of lap band life. (Said as I eat my banana muffin and follow up with my coffee)

[hely88 883]

The first thing I had to do when I got back on track was let go of the guilt and the shame. All my energy is now on the present and the future. You can't change the past and what ifs never really matter.

[stylehair4u02 15]

Leave the past in the past!! Your future is bright and have the chance to make it whatever you want to be!!

[laurigee 545]

Somehow, it is comforting to know others have had the same feelings. Thanks for your comments.

Now my eighty year old Father is in the hospital with a urinary tract infection. They said it is not in his bloodstream so he should be okay. But it is hard on my mother for sure.

My prayers go out to your father, mother, yourself, and your family. I hope he has a speedy recovery!