Just not loosing anything

[2muchfun 8,927]

"so FORGIVE ME for needing for the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE some compassion and support"

You have a very odd way of seeking compassion and support. A little more humility and understanding would go a long ways.

tmf

[kazjim98 618]

I am a mother of a special needs child too...I have 4 children total, so yeah I have major stress in my life too and I can relate to some extent. But my children have no relevance on my band. I don't have a magic band and nor do you. It takes time, it takes effort and it takes commitment. If you aren't willing to give the band, time, effort and commitment then you probably should get it out. Best Wishes

[dee257 1,516]

I to have a very diabled adopted child...he was one of my main reasons

to get the band and to do what I had to do to loose the fat...I need to be around a log time for him !!!

You can do it to...OMG if i can any one can....calm down and please give it a chance....

[Instyle98 240]

Betsy

I was not trying to be unsympathetic or mean, I was just trying to point out the reality of the situation. I know you don't know me as I don't know you, but I sometimes try to be a little humorous in order to lighten the situation, but in this case, I obviously failed. Sometimes if we don't laugh, we will cry. I understand your frustration - I'm really frustrated right now and I was banded 1/31, but it's all part of the journey. You have a lot on your plate and I would not want to be in your shoes, but there are many of us that either are going through difficult and trying times or have been through there. Sometimes it's all about acceptance of the situation you are in and what you are going to do to get through it. That's why I suggested a support group or therapist. Being supportive to someone does not always mean patting them on the back and telling them how unfair life has been to them.

I've had meltdowns and my moments, and while I appreciate understanding, comfort and even sympathy, too much of it only makes things worse and makes me feel as if the world truly is against me. Hearing things like "you poor thing", "wow, your life really sucks", "how do you do it", etc. makes me forget that I can be strong, I will get through this, and I will survive. Too much of a good thing, even sympathy, is not beneficial as we have all unfortunately learned when it comes to food.

It's very evident you have a very generous and loving heart by the way you write about your daughter and everything she means to you. How about giving some of that love and concern to yourself? I don't come on here to beat up on people. I try to offer what I hope is encouragement, support and help and hope when I need it, I get the same in return.

I guess I could have said that you're absolutely right, this band thing sucks, doesn't work and you should definitely get it out. Whoever told you that this procedure could help must have lied to you. Whatever you decide to do, I hope things work out and you do well. I never meant to offend you.

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

You didn't ask for support or advice or we'd have gladly offered both. You just dramatically announced you were having your band removed after a month. Next time, trying acting like an adult and asking us for what you need. Most of us lack psychic powers and mind reading abilities so we respond solely based on the information before us. The only information you gave us was childish behavior, and when you come on here throwing a tantrum like a spoiled child, we respond accordingly.

And while I feel for you being a mother and having a disabled child, that doesn't change anything. Heck, I am a mother and I myself am legally disabled due to an incurable disease but I don't use either as excuse for coming online acting like a spoiled brat.

Now, you have two choices. Start taking responsibility for yourself and learn to live with your band or have another tantrum and give up. It's entirely up to you.

[Baba Wawa 543]

You're in "Bandster Hell" stage. It's normal to have buyer's remorse in the first weeks post-banding. This is normally something that is discussed with patients preop so you're prepared.

You were probably given a food progression to follow post op. Have you followed it, exactly? This is important. In the first weeks and months following WLS following our diet and exercise "rules" helps to establish lifestyle changes (measuring food, logging intake, exercise, making better food choices) which become habit. Most people don't lose quickly in the first weeks...I think I lost 10 lb in 10 weeks post op, before my first fill.

I also noticed you're a lightweight with a BMI of 38...you're not going to lose as fast as someone with a higher BMI, generally speaking. Someone who weighs 300 lb and is 5'5" is going to lose faster, since more of their body mass is fat.

I'm going to give you some feedback on how you're perceived based on your posts(all we have). You sound a bit frantic. Anyone with 5 kids and has had surgery is going to feel overwhelmed, and that's the impression I got reading your posts.

Your doctor sounds like an ass. Telling you that you should be down 20 lb in a month is absolutely incorrect. 1-2 lb per week is the expected weight loss once your fill is optimal. During surgery, we're pumped full of fluids (I gained 6 lbs) and it takes time to get rid of it. Your tissues are swollen and it takes time to heal. If you lost 5 lb the first month, you'd be doing fantastic.

I think it's time to step back from the situation, take a deep breath and get out your preop paperwork, read it again. Make sure you're doing what you should. Also, I'd find a new doctor, stat.

Hang in there!

[Jim1967 3,569]

I must say I am truly shocked and sad by some of the responses Betsy got here. She doesn't need me to defend her but really?? If she cannot come here and release a little frustration without being bashed then what is the point of this site? Isn't this the very reason Alex created this place to begin with? For us to help one another. Sure we are not all going to get along but clearly she didn't post frustration just to be beaten down further

Very fact is she is struggling and while she didn't come out and "say help me or what would you do or do you have any advice" she let off steam. She clearly needed some encouragement and some reassurance.

-Sincerely yours, Truly Disgusted

[deanne212 5]

Wow !!! Real nice responses guys!! I totally understand what your saying and where your coming from and in the next year it will happen again Hun! You will feel like the weights never coming off and all of a sudden you have dropped 5 lbs!!! Pls give your band a chance sounds like you had enough BAD advice from this lot but EVERYBODY Is different we all lose ( and gain ) at different rates and places on our body!! This never came with a instruction manual or a weight loss check list!!! And your response only came from negative feedback!!! I don't post on here often as its the same judgemental answers that don't help!!! Clearly you have a lot on your plate and didn't need this ! If u ever want to chat private message me Hun be happy to help if I can . It's a long hard battle to lose the weight we took a long time gaining!!! But it's well worth it when your child can do things with you that previously u couldn't do!! Trust me I cried when my daughter thanked me for going on a ride with her!!! Good luck hunnie .

[m1aman 944]

There is no helping someone who doesn't want to help themselves. She obviously entered in to this surgery with no idea how to use her band and now she wants to throw a childish fit and have it removed. That is what I get out of her first post. Her next post is an irrelevant attempt at garnering sympathy and has nothing to do with her band.

She is just a drama queen and I am too old for such foolishness.

[Baba Wawa 543]

Betsy, I checked out Bella's FB page...you have a beautiful family. Please give yourself and your band a chance to work together. Like any other surgery, results can vary...some lose quickly right out of the gate, others not so much. Some lose all EW, some 30-70%. We're all different. Average height for American women is 5'5", you're 6 ft tall...are you defective, NO. You're an individual, with some pretty unique stuff going on in your life.

I got my band at age 60. I lose slow. I'm thankful for any weight loss. You've got a 23 year head start on me. Use it wisely, my friend. Hugs((()))

[bethcav 68]

I must say I am truly shocked and sad by some of the responses Betsy got here. She doesn't need me to defend her but really?? If she cannot come here and release a little frustration without being bashed then what is the point of this site? Isn't this the very reason Alex created this place to begin with? For us to help one another. Sure we are not all going to get along but clearly she didn't post frustration just to be beaten down further

Very fact is she is struggling and while she didn't come out and "say help me or what would you do or do you have any advice" she let off steam. She clearly needed some encouragement and some reassurance.

-Sincerely yours, Truly Disgusted

I couldn't agree more Jim!

[bethcav 68]

I couldn't agree more Jim !

[hely88 883]

Please stick with this. I am sure all those kids know their mother isn't a quitter. Measure and track everything you eat then take that information with you to a nutritionist who works with your dr. Get some exercise in even if it is playing tag moving is moving. You did this for a reason. Be strong and fight for your freedom! Nothing good comes easy!

[Tiny1234 121]

Betsy, pls don't give up. I watched your beautiful Bella on YouTube, I could hear the love and passion in your voice. What you and your husband have done for that little girl by giving her a home and love and hope is just beautiful. Please give yourself some more time with your lapband, you're so patient and loving with Bella, I just hope you can show yourself the same love and patience. We always seem to take care of others before ourselves, it's in our nature. But by getting ourselves healthy is really our true gift to our family and those around us. Whatever you decide is ultimately your decision, but I really hope you give it another chance. think of why you had lapband surgery in the first place, you must've thought about it, researched it, had to go through all the insurance prerequisite, don't give up now. How do you explain that to your beautiful family? Pls hang in there.

[Shackwacky 72]

I'm a month post op and I keep losing and gaining 5 lbs????? Dr has no idea and I'm truly at this point just ticked beyond belief. I eat and drink what I'm supposed to and nothing. I'm to the point I want this damn band out

I remember this feeling. Wondering how I could have invested the price of a small car in something that obviously didn't work.....

Hang in there. I was banded November 2012, and three months and three fills later I am finally getting that "aha" moment, and I can feel now what I was expecting for some crazy reason to feel right off the bat. It does get better.