Two steps forward and a HUGE step back

[Paris2012 0]

I am at a total loss. I had my band completely unfilled before I went to Paris for my honeymoon in October bc I was getting severe gas pains and bloating to the point I would be crying and it takes alot for me to cry. Since then I have had several fills to get back on track and so in December I HAD to get back on track. I was tired all the time and just in bad moods all the time. I was tired of it. So I started working out and it took me a little bit to get motivated but I did. I am at the point now where I am on the border line of being 200 again. I was down to 150 after a year of getting the lap band. (I have had in since June of 2007). I started eating right and everything and also doing Insanity. Well I have been having issues with my heart. I have a monitor implanted in my chest to monitor my heart. Well now I am at my bottom. I have to have a procedure done on my heart so I won't be passing out or have my heart racing while I am just sitting down at 10:30 at night. But I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know where to start. My husband is my best friend. He tries to help me out but if someone tells me don't eat that I am going to eat it. I don't know how to get over that hump. I want to lose this weight and keep it off but with every corner there is a wall in my way. I try to work out then something else pops up with my health. I am in tears every day. I feel so unattractive that I won't let my husband touch me. I look at myself in the mirror and I hate the person staring back. I know it seems crazy and I am sure this is a little too much info for everyone but I need help and I can't lash at my husband anymore for trying to help me. I also have two girls and that is alot right there. I eat because I am bored and I am also an emotional eater. I asked my doctor today if I can do some of the Insanity workouts but not too many just to feel like I am doing something. I refuse to buy a size 16 in pants so I am fitting myself in my 14 pants with a squeazing cami. If anyone could help me out I would greatly appreciate it.

[2muchfun 8,927]

Unfortunately, head hunger from cravings seldom go completely away. For me, I do feel less hungry between meals and don't really snack that much but I do sometimes grab an apple or handful of nuts between meals.

The key is to remove as many low nutrition foods from your pantry as you can. If you do snack, then you're snacking on low calorie, high nutrition foods. But no one or no surgery or tool can block you from yourself. If you cook a pan of lasagna or a cake, you're just setting yourself up for failure.

If you can add just one exercise like walking to your routine and keep the high nutrition foods around, maybe you can slowly get back on track?

tmf

[laurigee 545]

I'm so sorry for what your going through! I was banded in 2006 and had 3 years of maintaining my goal weight. Then my world started falling apart, my dad died, six months later my 24 year old niece died unexpectedly. I stepped on the scale one day and was 40 pounds heavier! In the beginning of January I told myself enough is enough and started exercising and eating right! Well, then I had 2 major events within a 2 week period! I had to have a complete hysterectomy, then 2 weeks later I fell and broke a rib! So there goes the excitement and enthusiasm for exercise! I think we have to just accept crap is going to happen. We need to adjust to it instead of give in to it! We may not be able to do what we prefer to do, however, we can do something! It doesn't have to be all or nothing! Please don't push your husband away! Trust that your husband loves you, and you have to know that no matter what that he finds you beautiful! Let him be your safe place to land! Know that when he touches you it has to do with love, not judgement! Don't allow what you have between you to suffer because of your insecurities. Let him be your place where there is nothing but UNCONDITIONAL love. If you want to lash out at someone for trying to help you, i think most of us hear will gladly take his place! LOL... Know that your not alone. A lot of us have similar stories! Coming here seems to help me! I'm not sure how often you see your surgeon to discuss fills, but I think getting to the right place with fills seems to be a turning point for a lot of people! Sorry for the rambling! I wish you the best!

[4sweeties 63]

Lots of hugs to you. You have a lot on your plate right now- emotionally and physically!!! It would be hard for most people to deal with that. Tackle one problem and the rest will fall into place. If that doesn't work, add a second solution on in a few weeks. Little steps are easier to handle/focus on. Otherwise you will get overwhelmed. What is bothering you the MOST out of all those things?

-your health or

feeling insecure/angry/many emotions towards your husband or

not being able to exercise or

wanting to eat at the wrong times not eating just for fuel?

Pick the one that is bringing you down the most and focus on it. Maybe therapy (emotional or physical) depending on which problem you are tackling first. Your dr might get physical therapy covered so you can work out at a safe level with guidance.

And remind yourself, this is not forever. It will get better. And you will make it better to the best of your ability.

GOOD LUCK!!! More hugs.