Messed up Body Image!

[FunnyDuddies 6]

diane you do look awesome. every picture i see you are more and more beautiful. and your smile is the best part

now think back to all the times you have yo yo'd. it takes forever for our brains to catch up to what is happening to our bods. when i was skinny, i thought i was fat. i hovered around 100 pounds, and still starved myself because i had a huge rack. i couldn't get rid of it. so i considered myself fat. I gained all of my weight in a VERY short period of time. but i still thought i was not as fat as i am now. i still have trouble seeing me for the real me. i look at women my size and think "there is no possible way i am that big!!" but i am. bigger sometimes. and i know that now that i am coming to accept it, i will start losing and not see the loss just like you.

it is normal. just chalk it up to insanity and move on to the next thing in life. LOL its the best way to get through it. And remember that we NEVER see ourselves for the true us in the mirror.

Something that really helped me (but is tough if you are not computer savvy) was to take pics of myself. Clad only in underwear, i take digital pics of myself. I am always in the same position, and always wearing the same thing. I am also always in the same spot. This way as I lose I have a good side by side comparison to look at. It is hard to pick apart three dif pics of you when on is sitting, one is hiding behind the family, and the other is in a FABULOUS outfit. try it and see if that helps.

[TheWomanWithin 0]

ummmm....that was good....very good indeed. *filing for later use*

Thanks Yoda, I take no credit for the majority of it - I was doing research for my teen daughter a few years ago and found this article; stripped it and put it into something she could understand about her body image. (and for me too)

I keep everything like that in a file on a cd so when she is older, she can see the struggles with life she has had and hopefully learn from them. At 19 she's still too young to learn lessons the easy way lol

[Dianechef 3]

I went shopping today & went to the Women's department like I usually do. I picked up some size 18 pants & a shirt. I went to the dressing room to try them on. They just didn't fit right. I tried some in a differnt style. Same thing. This happened 3 times. I kept giving them back to the lady who was in charge of the dressing room. After the 4th time of telling her they just didn't fit right, she said to me - "You might want to try that section!" (She pointed to the ladies section where they have NORMAL sizes.)

I have never shopped in the ladies department in my life. When I walked over there I was so lost. Everything was unfamiliar to me. It took me a while to find some clothes that seemed to be my size, but they were all too tight. (size 18 even!!!)

I just don't know where I fit in!! I was so comfortable being the Funny Fat Girl! I knew where to shop, what to buy, how to act, who I was & now it has all changed!!!!! :faint:

I never dreamed that losing weight would involve this type of feeling. I'm happy & thrilled to be smaller!!! :biggrin1: But at the same time, I feel as if I am starting a whole new life all over - kinda like going to a new school & making all new friends.

Who is this new me & why don't I recognize her?!?!? :rolleyes

Kristin - have you visited your therapist yet?!? Did she give you any insight or help?

[legallyKristin 0]

It's hard being stuck in the middle of the clothing sizes. You might try a 16W, they are usually cut a little better for still plus size figure, but smaller. The last time I got that small, I couldn't bring myself to go to the "regular" ladies department just because the "women's" department just felt more comfortable, more safe. I know that's related to the whole body image thing and fear of failure. But anywhoo...

And I wish I had been to see my therapist again, but nope, I go on Wednesday afternoons.

Hope you're all having a great weekend!

Kristin

[PinkMary 3]

I posted this in the Gone for Good Club, but it seems as if there are others who are also having this issue as well. So, I'm placing it in it's own thread.

I've always been the "Funny Fat Girl". Now I'm the..........um..........I have no clue!!!

you re definetely a very nice person and YES a funny girl that made my day today!!! thank you sooo much!!! you re really beautiful inside and out!!!

[tinaj 0]

Diane,

You do look like a new person and you have beautiful children. I know years ago when I lost all of my weight I really did have to spend some time in therapy as much as I thought I was the same person I just wasn't. Society saw and treated me differently and I had to learn to treat myself differently. Even though I too thought I was pretty self confident I had body image issues that just weren't adjusting quick enough to my weight loss and society. (Life really is easier for the beautiful). It is unfair but true and I have been both. Good luck and I think just sharing your feelings will give you some insight (i hope). tina

[Dianechef 3]

Tina - you are so right! I just came back from Walmart where I had something happen to me that has NEVER happened before.

The check out guy was single & very friendly. He seemed to be my age. He kept talking to me & asking me questions. (Normally they ignore me & don't give me any eye contact.) I had purchased 2 donuts in a bag & he noticed there was a bite taken out of each one! He said to me - "You just couldn't wait 'til you got home - hugh?" jokingly. And I said - "It's a big store, I couldn't survive the whole time with 2 donuts sitting in front of me." He laughed!!!! (He's joking with the Funny Fat Girl?!?!?!?!?!?!?)

MEN DON'T JOKE ABOUT DONUTS WITH FAT WOMEN. He must not have considered me fat!!!!

He continued to talk to me about EVERYTHING!! He wrung me up & I noticed the bill wasn't very much. We both then looked at the groceries & realized that half of the stuff was still on the conveyor belt. He said - "I need to stop looking at you so I can get my work done!"

WHAT?!? WHAT? STOP LOOKING AT ME?!?!.......ME?!?!?!? - - - - and he was FOR REAL!! He was actually hitting on me.

Oh, I am so messed up.

[tinaj 0]

Diane,

I am sure he was hitting on you. Ten years later I can still remember sitting in a bar and I smiled at this "okay looking guy" and he smiled back and sent me a drink or something. My friend "who has always been model beautiful" very casually said "tina you have to be careful you just can't look at every guy you are beautiful and they are going to come on to you" that was one of those moments for me not because she said it but for two reasons 1. i wasn't use to being the pretty girl in the room and two she was right!

My sister has never been thin and I have said to her I hope at some point if only for a moment you get to live as a thin person. The world is a very different place. Diane, start seeing yourself as the pretty person in the room because others aalready are and you are going to have to learn how to enjoy it/embrace itand handle it. Especially, since your married! It is fun though. Fun Fun Fun but sad that we and society only value ourselves when we look a certain way. tina

[FunnyDuddies 6]

You go girl!!! OMG diane that is awesome! Doesn't it feel good when things like that happen? Random guys flirting with you has to be the ultimate pick me up!!

[PhotoNut 7]

"Random guys flirting with you has to be the ultimate pick me up!!"

Umm.. not for me! It scares the buhjeebies outta this girl. When I read Diane's post about this, I groaned and quickly closed it. I fear these days! I don't want that! Don't look at me, don't smile at me, don't you dare flirt with me! *bites nails nervously*

I think I could use some counseling. Thank god I have my 6'4 hubby by my side now! Actually, that doesn't make me any less nervous. Yuppers. Issues abound! *chuckles*

[Dutchgrl59 2]

Dear Diane,

That was the best story! You are on your way, :faint: hit on at the grocery store! OK, now try that flirting thing when you are at a stoplight with the car next to you. It's fun, innocent and enpowering -- game on!

[anillacookie 0]

I have read all relpies and I'm wondering if we are not just afraid of being skinny? Cuz Peolpe don't really expect alot from fat peolpe.

ok here is an example. When i was 340+ and I took my two little kids to the store. I would have a basket full of food and two wiggly kids and the bagger boys or cahier never offered to help me. Then I lost 100+ and every one and there dog opened doors helped me with my bags. ok It made me wonder? where were you people 100lbs ago when I could bearly walk to my car with out having a heart attack?

Peolpe don't really take fat people seriouly we are the funny ones we are fun to hang around with the favorit Aunt or Unlce etc.

But at work we are hardly ever the boss. Well sometimes men are but you hardly ever see a really heavy woman boss. and execpt for when we are funny we are pretty much ignored. And now here we are making all these changes and entering or rentering the thin world and people are being friendlyer and actualy including us in converstion and stuff.

My thing is I am terroified by success. I got my band in june.and I set goals with myself. My first goal was to be to 215 by my first year anniversery. Well I reached it in April. a month early. I was so excited.

Then all of a sudden I could fit into size 16s I freked and have been on a binge ever since. I have managed to gain 6lbs. And so I have been contiplating what the heck is wrong with me and then I read these threads and I think it is just scary. it is a whole new world. And it does take time to adjust to all of it. I am very greatful to know that I'm not alone in my struggle to come to terms with this body thing.

Thanks tooo allll of you for sharing

Anillacookie:biggrin1: