Need to have a Lapband unsuccess story tab

[kristallynn13 18]

I wouldnt consider my journey a total failure, but if I had know then what I know now, I probably would not have had the surgey. Okay, let me lay down the ground work of my story. I have been overweight my whole life, numerous failed weight loss attempts, etc, etc, etc. About 2 years ago, I found myself with a job that had excellent benefits and would pay for weight loss surgery. I searched the internet. Considered gastric bypass vs banding. Banding obviously won. I started the Atkins diet May of 2011. Lost weight very rapidly. Loved the diet. Had lap band Sept 2011. Had already lost 65 pounds before surgery. Times were trying and difficult after surgery, but weight loss was great, loved working out, could not see myself ever being fat again. By Feb 2012, I had lost 135 pounds. Weighed 183 from well over 310 pounds. I was on top of the world. I was within 25 lbs from goal, no major setbacks with the band. I was beginning to get a little cocky about my weight loss. I was smaller than my teenage daughters. This created alot of anxiety among all three of us. I was madly, deeply in love with my boyfriend. Life was perfect. Valentines day 2012, I had intended on asking my boyfriend to marry me. Never happened. I found out that day that not only was he cheating on me, but he was having affairs with no less than 4 other women. I was totally devastated, heartbroken, suicidial, despondent. The women were all bigger than me. I went into a couple of months of really being anorexic. Working out to the brink of passing out. Got in really great shape. But then, it just all started to fail. My weight loss, and mental health has been downhill ever since. I am up about 30 pounds. I hate myself for gaining weight back. I told myself I would never weigh more that 200lbs again, but here I am. I know it is not the bands fault, it is mine. But my problem is not weight, it is not food. My problem is the lack of effective coping mechanisms in dealing with emotions. No surgery, exercise, or diet is going to fix that for me. It is a mental problem. I have had overfills, underfills, stucks, PBing, vomiting, everything, you name it. I am probably really in the green zone right now, but I abuse my body and get my stomach angry. So I am sitting in front of a very small plate of normal people's food, PBing in my plate. I used to get up and hide it from my family, but what is the point. It isnt a secret. I get mad alot of the times, because I want to binge and stuff food down my throat. The band doesn't allow me to. I try to eat what I am supposed to. I can't. The band doesn't like chicken, or vegetables, or anything else. It loves shakes and chocolate. Never once have I been stuck on a piece of chocolate. McDonalds shakes have become a mainstay of my menu. I can always drink them no matter what the time of day, and I can drink them as fast as I want. It almost satisfies my need to binge. Tonight, I just wanted to eat a nice healthy meal with my family, but the band wont let me.

[firefaerie266 53]

Oh wow, I'm so sorry you are going through this My heart really aches for you and what you have been through. I hope you can get back on track and taking care of yourself. Can you call your surgeon? If you aren't able to swallow normal food like chicken and veggies you might be too full and in need of an unfill. Or you are just not chewing slow enough. Does your surgery clinic have a psychologist? They might be able to help you with developing coping mechanisms for your pain and emotional stress. I know for me, I tend to turn to craft projects when my mind gets over loaded - but I'm sure a psychologist or therapist would be able to come up with things for you to do. Hang in there, you'll get through this!

[SageTracey 608]

so sorry for what you are going through and I second the suggestion for seeing a counsellor/therapist.

However, I would not call you a lapband unsuccess story. I am sure (trying to be encouraging) that you were a success story until you were dealt such a massive emotional blow, and I am sure you can be again with the right support.

Good luck.

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

I am so sorry

I really think you should seek out a counselor or other mental health professional. You've been through a lot and unfortunately it seems to manifesting itself in food issues. This isn't uncommon, by the way. We all have food issues or we wouldn't need weight loss surgery to begin with. But when the issues get to a point they're bigger than us, then it's time to seek professional help.

I hope you'll get the help and peace of mind you need.

Best wishes to you.

[LadyDreadHead 90]

When I first started to think about getting the band, I wasn't emotionally ready. I have a family history of depression and anxiety issues. And through a series of losses, I was severely depressed and anxiety ridden. It would take years for me to come to the point that wls was an option for me. I had to address the many losses and the trauma that have been a part of my life. For me, the way to do that was through therapy and medication. No, therapy is not for every one. And, it takes a serious commitment to making things better. But on the other hand, no amount of weight loss is a cure for a hurt heart.

[Sojourner 2,446]

I was very sorry to read your post...however yours is not an unsuccessful story...your story is not yet completed.

One strong positive is your awareness of your issues with food and a lack of constructive and appropriate coping skills to manage your emotions. You can't resolve issues which you have no awareness of...

Yes, you should definitely see a specialist in counseling who is a specialist in working with patients who have eating disorders. Not all therapists specialize in this field, and I believe you would benefit in seeing a specialist.

I does read to me that your band may be too tight...you did not mention how much Fluid is in your band, or when the last time was that you had been in to see your surgeon.

In the meantime, a Protein shake has way fewer calories and better nutrition than anything from McD's.

I'm very sorry you are having these issues...but please take steps to care for yourself and get your issues addressed...

Best wishes to feel better...both emotionally and physically...

[BayougirlMrsS 3,934]

Kris... i look at your before and after and think that you have done an amazing job. I'm go to tell you what i saw in your photo gallery.... Older pictures of you, you looked sad and underlay miserable. I can now see why this A$$ hole latched on too you. In the Healthier pictures... you look so happy and confident... stay this way...

Sojourne has given you great advice. Sounds to me like you are feeling some guilt about losing weight. Guilt about the ex-cheating-bastard.... So what if he like big girls. He probably can't handle the new, beautiful, healthy, confident and strong woman you have become. He likes big girls because we have low self esteem and self worth and are easily controlled. This is why he moved on from you, you were in control you. But now You are letting him control you even though you are not with him anymore by sabotaging your weight loss...

STOPPPP letting this happen...

Please go see someone and don't give up and don't let others determine your self worth. You will find someone that will love the person you are and not care about your size.. big or small.

[CHEZNOEL 4,061]

I will join the chorus and recommend a counselor who works with both depression and food addiction. It is not too late to start over and turn this story back to positive. Best wishes to you!