Starting over, 5 years after surgery

[morelgirl 177]

Hey everyone! I called my doctor's office this morning and spoke to my surgeon's bariatric nurse (the one who actually put in the last fill). She listened to my story and said that since my symptoms are very mild and not all the time (heartburn happens no more than once or twice a day and goes away without medication), I might want to wait a week before deciding on an unfill. She said I could still have a little swelling and that it may still resolve itself as I get used to the new fill. I can take an OTC med if I choose, but as long as it is going away on its own and not being a big problem, I shouldn't worry too much, but call back in another week if I still have it.

I have to admit that I'm a little relieved. I really do think I may be in the green zone, and based on what I told her, the nurse agrees. I know it would have been a different story if I'd had any episodes of being stuck, sliming or PBing, but she really seemed to think that this might be residual swelling and my stomach just becoming accustomed to this fill level. As long as I can still eat and drink, the HB is mild and I'm having not trouble eating or sleeping, and no night cough, I should be good. Yay! I'm so ready to just keep on trucking and heading toward my goal!

Hope everyone has a great day!

[Suziecat 379]

Amy, I'm so glad all is well with the band and your fill. And very happy that they seemed to have put you at ease with it. I know when I mentioned it to my Doc a few years ago. They sent me in to have an upper GI. Then into surgery to have a hiatal hernia fixed. So glad that is not your problem.

Well, I had a salad today for lunch. I know the Doc said I shouldn't. But I just had a hankering for one. dinner I wll be back to my Protein first and then my veggies and fruit. And this morning I had my Protein Drink with a banana in it. I was in a hurry and didn't want to take time to put the Peanut Butter in with it. Next time I will make sure I put the PB in. It was yucky. And I'm really surprised that by now that I am not getting used to the flavor of the vanilla.< /p>

[lelaseattle 7]

I just joined this page today, and immediately looked for this same topic, so thank you for having the courage to talk about "starting over". It's tough! I was banded 3 years ago and over the past year I've gained 25 pounds back. In 2011 I lost a best friend to colon cancer, one of my dear cats to kidney failure, an aunt to lymphoma, the loss of a relationship, and the diagnosis of my other cat's kidney failure. Needless to say, I turned to sugar and carbs for comfort. I gained some weight but my grief also kept me from eating properly for the first time in my life that I can remember! Usually I eat everything in site through grief/stress. I did ok through the beginning of 2012, but I wasn't losing, wasn't on plan, wasn't doing right by my band. Last July I had to have my band completely unfilled because I got the stomach flu. Twice! So yes, I took that opportunity to eat sushi rolls and some pizza and donuts, vowing that I'd get right back on program after 1 month. Well, I've been doing hospice care for my other cat for almost 16 months now, and the stress of that plus moving my parents out of their home of 37 years (which took 3.5 months to do!), and I am still not eating on plan. I did lost 10 pounds back in November, but that was 5 months ago and I gained it back plus 10 more. I keep saying I'm going to get back on track, but I feel so stuck. I hate how my body feels. My clothes are tight and I do not want to buy a bigger size of jeans! I'm ashamed, disappointed in myself, and feel like a huge failure. I ask a buddy of mine that was banded 10 years ago for help, but she's got her hands full with a toddler and I know in my gut that it's really up to me. I have to do the work, no one else. I just can't seem to get myself to commit. I feel lost. I need to dig deep and remember all of the reasons that I wanted to be banded to begin with!

[HilaryInRC 116]

Amy, I am glad to hear that you might be in the green zone. It seems so hard to find, so I am excited for you! Are you on solids yet, or still soft & mushies? What does green feel like? I think I've only been yellow and red... Definitely yellow zone right now.

Suzie, Do you go in for your next appointment tomorrow? I think I read that correctly. Are you excited?

As for me, I was doing really well last week with healthy choices and exercise. I went out of town 3 days last week and made good choices each time. First, at Red Lobster, I had lobster (no butter) and salad. The next time we went out of town, I had salad and chili. And, the last time I had 300 calories worth of tacos (the kind with the corn tortilla, meat and salsa). My mom bought Krispy Kreme donuts, Cheesecake Factory dutch apple cheesecake, and mini pot-pies from our favorite little diner in Anaheim. I resisted them all!

But, my seasonal allergies have started. I overdid it with antihistimines and decongestants and ended up sleeping all weekend. Seriously! I went to sleep at about 10:00 pm on Friday night and didn't change out of my pjs until I woke up at 11:00 am today! There were a few lucid hours here and there, but not much. So, even though I didn't eat much the past two days, I also hardly moved at all. I think my fitbit thinks I died! LOL! I felt pretty groggy today from the meds I took last night and have been coming down off my Nyquil Sinus hangover today. I think I'm going to take a walk tonight after dinner. I haven't had the best balance today.

It seems like this thread is gaining momentum and I see new people checking in. That is awesome! I wonder how The Curvy Mermaid is doing? I don't think we've heard from her in a while.

[HilaryInRC 116]

I just joined this page today, and immediately looked for this same topic, so thank you for having the courage to talk about "starting over". It's tough! I was banded 3 years ago and over the past year I've gained 25 pounds back. In 2011 I lost a best friend to colon cancer, one of my dear cats to kidney failure, an aunt to lymphoma, the loss of a relationship, and the diagnosis of my other cat's kidney failure. Needless to say, I turned to sugar and carbs for comfort. I gained some weight but my grief also kept me from eating properly for the first time in my life that I can remember! Usually I eat everything in site through grief/stress. I did ok through the beginning of 2012, but I wasn't losing, wasn't on plan, wasn't doing right by my band. Last July I had to have my band completely unfilled because I got the stomach flu. Twice! So yes, I took that opportunity to eat sushi rolls and some pizza and donuts, vowing that I'd get right back on program after 1 month. Well, I've been doing hospice care for my other cat for almost 16 months now, and the stress of that plus moving my parents out of their home of 37 years (which took 3.5 months to do!), and I am still not eating on plan. I did lost 10 pounds back in November, but that was 5 months ago and I gained it back plus 10 more. I keep saying I'm going to get back on track, but I feel so stuck. I hate how my body feels. My clothes are tight and I do not want to buy a bigger size of jeans! I'm ashamed, disappointed in myself, and feel like a huge failure. I ask a buddy of mine that was banded 10 years ago for help, but she's got her hands full with a toddler and I know in my gut that it's really up to me. I have to do the work, no one else. I just can't seem to get myself to commit. I feel lost. I need to dig deep and remember all of the reasons that I wanted to be banded to begin with!

Hi LelaSeattle,

It sounds like you have had a tough time these past two years. And, sorry for the language, but, it is hard to focus on counting calories and exercise when life's gotcha by the balls. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Do you think you are at the point where you can re-commit to the band? How long has it been since you have seen your surgeon/PA/nurse?

-Hilary

[lelaseattle 7]

Hi Hilary -

Thank you so much for your supportive reply! That's so sweet of you. I did go and get my band filled back at the beginning of September last year, but I didn't get it as tight as before. I really want to WANT to re-commit (if that makes any sense), and I know that I'll feel so so much better once I do. You know that sense of relief when you get past 3-4 days of detoxing and your body doesn't crave that chai tea latte from Sbux every morning, and you don't need the small bit of SunChips to start a meal out with to help loosen the band? I know that I can do it. I just feel so unmotivated to take that first step dangit!

[morelgirl 177]

Welcome, Lela! I'm glad you found us. We're a supportive group who have all had our struggles, so we understand what it's like. I firmly believe that the key to this entire enterprise is mental. You won't get far if you're not in the appropriate state of mind, so wanting it really is the first, most important step. (PS, I'm in WA state, too, but close to Portland).

Suzie, I'm looking forward to hearing about your doctor's appointment, so please keep us updated.

Hilary, I'm totally back on solids. My doctor's instructions after fills are liquids on fill day, the next day if necessary, but to progress back up to solids as soon as it's comfortable. For me, I usually end up back on solids within about 3-4 days after the fill.

If the green zone really is where I am, it feels ... different from what I expected. Not that I really know what I was expecting, but I don't think this was it. I feel generally really normal and comfortable. My portions haven't changed, but I feel closer to "full" after a meal than I did before. Not the stuffed feeling of my preband life, but just a feeling that if I tried to eat any more, I would end up very uncomfortable. The important part to me is that I feel satisfied after my meal for about 4 hours. It's not that much longer (about an extra hour), but it makes a big psychological difference for me. Really the satiety is the only difference. I'm not having trouble eating any foods. I can have bread, rice, and red meat. I have no problem with dry chicken (except that it doesn't taste as good as moist) and I'm fine with fibrous vegetables. In fact, roasted asparagus and roasted Brussles sprouts are among my favorites! That's really where I want to be. To me, if I have to worry about what foods I can and can't eat, it's just another diet. This is perfect for me.

I think the final determination of whether or not this is the GZ will come from whether or not the weight comes off in steady 1-2 lb per week increments. I lost 1.6 last week, so if I can keep that up with just that little bit less hunger I'll be very excited.

Keep positive, everyone. We can do this!

[Suziecat 379]

Hey guys, actually my appointment is Thusday afternoon to see my band doc. I have an appointment that morning to see the surgeon and be realeased to go back to work. The last three or four weeks I have had a great deal of progess in my walking. We stored the walker away a few weeks ago and now I'm ready to give up the cane. I can go down the stairs pretty good but it is the coming up that I still have a little problem with. My right leg has always been my dominate leg but since the surgery, my left leg is now the lead. So I have to keep reminding myself to use that leg. But other then that, I'm good to go.

Now if we can only get the snow to melt and stay away till next fall, I can get some walking done outside. My husband wants me to use the treadmill but I'm having a hard time convincing him that there is a difference between the two. Besides, untill I'm one hundred percent, I don't feel comfortable getting on the treadmill. Last thing I need is to fall on it.

Last night for dinner I had a small slice of thin crust pizza. It had a lot of veggies on it so I'm thinking that is what kept me at one slice. But later we were watching a show and my hand found it's way into the cheez-it box. I had about ten of them and then told myself to stop, don't push it anymore. It's the little things like that that keep happening that gets me back to some of my old habits. Just blindly eating and before I know it I have eaten way to much and not eating anything good for me. I really need to pay attention more to that happening.

I don't track my calories as much as I should. I've done weight watchers for so long that I seem to go more with that. I do look up calories and Protein on things that I eat but don't have any idea of what is in it. Like if we go out to eat and I get a sandwich at a place. I will go to their website and look it up just so I can keep track a little bit on whether I should eat that again or stay away from it. And what else can I have for the rest of the day. It comes in handy in the morning if I know what I will be having for dinner so I can adjust my other meals. Not really counting calories but just knowing how not to over do it. I hope I explained that right. And I don't eat my exercise calories. Why exercise then?

I'm so looking forward to getting to my green zone and I hope it doesn't take to many visits to do that. And I certainly hope there is no more surgeries for a very long time.

Have a great day.

[Suziecat 379]

So, I got out of the house this morning all by myself. I have been out before but always had someone with me. I was walking into the Hallmark store when it hit me that I was actually doing this by myself. The only concerns I had was there is still alot of snow around and when it melts I have to cross over it and it scared me thinking that there might be a little ice in it. And the curbs. I had to step up with out holding onto anyone, I didn't even take my cane. It's amazing that just 3 months ago that I could barely walk at all. Freedom sure feels go. But I knew enought to not over do it. I did two stores and then headed home. Felling good here.

[morelgirl 177]

Yay, Suzie! Congrats on that. Recovering after surgery is a big triumph, so it's great to hear that you're doing so well.

I just made it through an impromptu lunch out with friends. It's Taco Tuesday at a local Mexican place, and heaven knows that chips and salsa are one of my weak spots, but I think I did okay. I broke my chips up into tiny bites to make them last longer and chewed my bites really well, which slowed me down enough not to go too crazy overboard. Then I ordered a single taco and I couldn't even finish it. The second half is in my fridge right now. It was a higher calories lunch than I usually have, but I feel triumphant over the amount I ate and know that I just need to have a reasonable, high Protein meal for dinner and I'll be in great shape. So excited! I love where my band is at right now!

[HilaryInRC 116]

Suzie, That is awesome that you got out by yourself today! I would be nervous too about ice. I agree with you about the treadmill. I don't think it is a good idea right yet. I was reflecting back on where I was a year ago tomorrow. I couldn't walk, cook, bathe myself, drive, or anything. In fact, I couldn't even fully empty my bladder! What a difference a year makes. I'm back to normal, albeit 32 lbs heavier. Oh well! I'll take 32 lbs over being unable to care for myself. I think in a year from now you will marvel at how far you've come.

Amy, Wow! I'm jealous of you being in the green! It sounds like you did a great job. Mexican food can be hard to resist. I *love* tacos.

I am failing at making good choices right now. I need to get myself under control. Yesterday, I did such a good job until 11:00 pm. I got really hungry. Like stomach growly hungry. So, I had a greek yogurt and it was all downhill from there. My allergies were so bad that I couldn't get to sleep until 3:30 am. I was sneezy and then stuffy. I finally took a decongestant. I was tired and wanted to sleep, but told myself no sleep until I could get the mask on (gotta breathe through your nose to use the cpap).

Today, I woke up hungry. It was the weirdest thing. That never happens to me. So, I went to the kitchen and got chicken and had that for my first meal of the day. Being able to eat solid Protein first thing in the morning is not usually something I'm able to do. Usually, anything solid is a problem. I'm not sure what is going on. I hope my band isn't leaking. Anyway, later in the day I had a tall starbucks drink that was not sugar-free and then came home and baked mini oatmeal Cookies as a treat for my mom. I ended up eating 6 of them. Luckily they were little. Anyway, fitbit says I'm still in my goal zone and that I can have at least 500 more calories today. So, the day isn't lost. But, what was I thinking purposefully eating sugar?!? I'm hoping I can get to sleep much earlier tonight and eat nothing after dinner.

Right now, exercise is completely impossible due to my allergies. My eyes are all swollen and I'm a sneezy, stuffy, runny mess. I'm supposed to chaparone a field trip to Knott's berry Farm on Thursday and am starting to doubt my ability to go.

-Hilary

[Suziecat 379]

Good Morning.

Home from going to see my primary Doc this morning. All went well. When they weighed me I'm down 9 pounds form my last visit with my Band Doc. I just hope tomorrow when I go see the Band Doc, that his scales will show the same. I hate that scales are all different but will hope it shows the same.

I then talked to him about what the surgeon had said about he thought I needed to have the sleeve done. I explained to him about having 4 surgeries in 2 1/2 years taking a toll on me and that laying in bed recouperating and snacking was also hard on me. But that I was going to make a good commitment to using my band for what it was made for. We had a good talk and he said that he really didn't want me to have the sleeve or gastric by-pass either. He said he felt that I was in the right frame of mind for this. We also taked about the weather hindering my walking. But spring should be here soon.

Amy, so proud of you for making it thru Taco Tuesday. That would have been really hard for me. I'm a Taco hound. I eat Taco anything. But to do what you did with the chips is amazing. I can also tear those things up. Next time I go, I will have to try what you did and see how I do.

Hilary, I have woken up with hunger pains several times. It's weird. But I usually fight it off time it's time for Breakfast. If I eat to early then I'm starving by lunch time and then also for dinner. So it's best for me to keep to my schedule. I saw that you mentioned chaperoning to Knott's berry Farm. Holy Cow, I bet it has been over 40 years since I have been there. I bet I wouldn't recognise the place. Two years ago my husband and I made a trip to L.A. to attend a wedding. I told him since we were going and hadn't been there for almost 25 years, that I wanted him to see some of the places that I had spent my childhood at. One of the those trips was to Disneyland. So we get into the park and the first ride we get to I asked the girl if it was ok for me to ride. She shook her head yes and waved me on. I did this for the first two or three rides and then finally decided to give up asking. If they thought I was to big, they could just tell me. We got over to the submarine and I did check with them and they were , sure you can ride. And so I did. I was having the time of my life. We rode almost everything we could. We didn't ride the Matterhorn, I thought that would be to much of a strain on my back after just having my spine operated on 2 months earlier. Having lost weight never felt so good. Now to get back to losing agin and get those feelings back.

I'm looking forward to the Mid 50 degree weather this weekend. I can get out in the yard. I love being out in our back yard and sharing it wiht my kitties. I'm like the pied piper. They follow me all over. We have a good time.

Have a great day.

Suzanne.

[morelgirl 177]

Suzie, I am so happy for you! Not only am I glad that your doctor visit went well, but 9 pounds is HUGE! Even if your band dr's scale is slightly different from your PCP's scale, that's still a significant loss, and you should be proud of the accomplishment!

I also like that your doctor supports your maintaining the band with your new, positive attitude. You've already been through so much surgery that I know if I were in your shoes, the last thing I would ever want to see again would be the inside of a hospital! I know you can be successful with your band, and everyone here will be here to support you through it, as well.

Hilary, I hope your allergies improve. I know what torture that can be, and I'm the same way with allergy and cold medicines. Taking them, even small doses, turns me into a total zombie. I've been known to still be sleepy 2 days after a dose!

Today looks to be pretty average. I definitely overdid it on the salt yesterday, and I barely made my Protein goal, so I'm going to focus on being better with those 2 things today. Oh, but I have one secret to share! I'm not really a sugar fiend. I can pass up a sweet treat easier than something bready or salty, but I do love chocolate. Well, I found the perfect treat to satisfy my chocolate cravings: Adora chocolate Calcium supplements! I ordered them on Amazon, and they are a tiny bit pricey, but oh, boy, are they worth it! Each supplement is a little disk of real chocolate, like a mini piece of Dove candy, but has 500 mg of Calcium. They make both milk and dark flavors, and I love them both! I have one every night after dinner and I'm getting in my Vitamins and also having a real treat that I can look forward to to satisfy my chocolate cravings all in one shot. Love them!

Everyone have a great day!

[HilaryInRC 116]

Suzie, OMG! 9 lbs!!!! That is so awesome! I'm really happy to hear that. :-) I'm also excited to hear how your appointment goes with your band doctor tomorrow.

Amy, Hmm, I might have to look into getting those Calcium supplements that you mention.

Yesterday evening I got so miserable that I called my doctors office. They told me they could fit me in right then. So, I was in and out within 30 minutes with prescriptions for more nose spray, eyedrops, and a medrol pack (oral steroids). I knew the medrol pack would work because I usually have to take one at the beginning of every summer when I get this weird rash on my legs. Anyway, it is less than 48 hours later and I feel about a zillion times better! This means I can go to Knotts tommorrow! Yay!

So, I woke up late today and felt super sluggish. But, I was hungry again first thing. So, I had a Protein drink and then 2 hours later, 4 oz of solid Protein. After I got my energy up, I popped in an old school Kathy Smith workout video and did an hour of aerobics. It was actually pretty fun! One of the dogs thought I was being goofy and playing with her. She got pretty hyper and was bouncing around the family room with me. Afterwards, when I sat down on the couch she hopped up in my lap and gave me kisses. It was sweet. :-)

One of my little sisters got married last July, and my other little sister gets married at the end of this July. Well, this time I'm in the wedding. So, I have 4 months to lose some weight. I'm hoping to have lost 25 lbs in that amount of time (down to 180). I feel a lot more comfortable with myself at that weight than at this weight. It feels nice to have an actual goal and time frame.

-Hilary

[HilaryInRC 116]

FYI, a gal from the "I have failed my band" thread set up a private and discreet Facebook group for struggling bandsters. I just joined. She is just getting it rolling. Check in over there if you are interested in joining.