Starting over, 5 years after surgery

[TheCurvyMermaid 51]

Ugh... I totally blew it this weekend with a series of out of town guests and special occasions. A dinner out with family members at a Chinese restaurant on Thursday, my BFF's birthday dinner at a fancy steakhouse on Friday with all the trimmings, cocktails and deserts, then dinner out for pizza with out of town guests last night. I tracked about 1500 calories Thursday, 2300 calories on Friday. I behaved on Saturday at about 1300, then about 2600 calories last night. The ONLY thing I'll give myself credit for is tracking everything, even though I knew how far over my calorie goal I was.

I've been bouncing up and down, stalled between 260-262 for two weeks, and I really want to bust through my plateau. I did SO WELL all through the week until Thursday. I'm kicking myself for getting out of hand. I need to figure out a better way to handle meals out.

I'm climbing back on the wagon today, and trying to do better. I need to get back to my good habits of weighing my food and staying away from junk.

[kellyjoiii 19]

Wow, I think I could have written that post myself! Same thing happens to me. We all fall, it's just how fast we pick ourselves back up

[Suziecat 379]

Sounds like everyone is still in the same boat.

I had a horrble saturday with my eat but had the resolve to get right back to it. Sunday was a god day and yesterday was awesome. I was so proud of myself until my friend called and we went to therapy time at our favorite mexican restuarant. We didn't eat, but we drank our weight in margarita's. The grande margarita's are about 850 calories apiece and I had 2 of them. Boy that sucked. So today we will get back to it.

My friend was telling me that she had lost 30 pounds since march 15th. But that was going to the gym and spending hours and eating only about 500-600 calories a day. I wouldn't mind going to the gym for hours but I really don't want to exsist on so few calories. That would be tough and do terrible mind games with me. I think I would constantly be thinking of what I could eat and how much and when.

So my appointment is this Thursday and I really don't think I'm going to show a loss. I did really good for the first 2 weeks after last fill but found myself falling back into my old habits. I'm sure I undid what I had lost in the first 2 weeks. Wish I knew why I would do something ike that to myself.

[Suziecat 379]

Today is judgement day...Off to the Band Doc's office for my 6 week check-up. And I don't think it's going to be a good one.

I did real good for the first 3 weeks and then it has been a roller coaster since then. I found myself falling back into my old habits. I sure wish I knew why I would let that happen. What is it that makes me think that I'm not worth the fight. Why do I continually find myself saying it's ok to eat more or eat the wrong thing. I hate this self sabotage.

Well hopefully I will get another fill from this but it's so good to know that with my band, I have a second, third, fourth....chance to start over. Can't do that with the sleeve or GB.

So I will walk into that office with my head held high and face it head on. My only hope is that I have either not gained or lost or that I haven't gained too much.

Wish me luck.

[HilaryInRC 116]

Suzie, I was excited to read your post when it popped into my email. So, I logged on just for you! Please tell us how it went at the band doc's today.

Other than having to eat a some rice Pasta to settle my stomach with a big Migraine I had over the weekend, I'm doing well sticking to my low carb diet. Since March 30th, I've lost 9 lbs. Other than my first few months with the band, I don't think I've ever lost that much in such a short amount of time. :-)

I have a quick question for you bandsters. If you do certain activities, like abdominal exercise, do you ever feel sore around your port? Yesterday, I did some ab work. Most of my abdomen feels fine, but when I stand and walk, I am *so* sore around my port. It is painful and I hope it goes away soon. Sometimes, I notice this also happens after...shhhhh, don't say it too loud...sex. Anybody else experience this?

[Suziecat 379]

So I get to the Doctors office and I have my sister and nephew in tow. They said that they would just stay out side in the car. I asked, "What, you don't wanna see what a fill is like?". So they both came in and I don't think they will ever do that again. We had the whole place in stitches. I laid down on the table and had my nephew come over so he could feel the port. The Doc showed him where it was at so he could feel. She then whips out the needle and thank goodness he was sitting in the chair by then. He dropped his head between his legs and kept saying, "omg". My sister asked him if it was the needle or the fact that he was touching his Aunt's belly. Doc was cracking up while she had that needle in me. But all was fine and Jack was able to stand up. So left there and we went to Burger King and they got lunch and I got a chocolate shake. I'm not allowed to chew anything for 48 hours.

Good news is I'm down another 3 pounds. Doc said that I didn't look to happy about that. I was, but just hoping for a little more.

Hilary, the only exercise I get is walking. But when I was doing other exercises before the surgery, I don't think I ever had any problems with my port. A few times when I lay in on my belly I will get a little pain in that area. Sorry I couldn't help you out.

[Suziecat 379]

I got to start on mushies today. So hubby and I ran to the grocery store and I bought 2 cups of mashed potatoes and I got a half gallon of sherbert. I had 1/3 cup of potatoes for lunch and about 2 hours later I had 1 cup of sherbert. For dinner I will have another 1/3 cup of potatoes. Then probably have some more sherbert or maybe some Jello for a snack later.

I'm working on my listening to my band better. That when it tells me it has had enough, then I'm going to stop. And that will be a test for me when it comes to something I really like. We had pizza about 5 days ago. It was a small pizza so the slices were alot smaller. I think 2 slices could have equaled 1 regular slice. I had 2 slices on my plate and took my time eating and making sure I was chewing really good. I actually was done eating after one slice and pushed my plate away. But with in about 5 minutes, I couldn't stand it any longer and I ate the second slice. I got mad at myself for doing that. For not listening to my band. So that is my new mission. To really start listening and stopping when it tells me to.

[SueBee01 630]

Hubby and I got out to do our walk today and it misted on us but no pour down rains. But we made a huge stride. We changed directions and took on a hill. I had to stop twice to get up it. But I made it. I'll keep doing that for a few more days and then I will try to go down a little on the otherside. It felt good.

Came home and made a pot of chili and then got ready to go to the dentist. It's cold here today so I thought some chili would be good. Well' date=' we didn't get home from the dentist til almost 4pm and hubby had not eaten anything and Iall I had had was my Protein Shake this morning. So I heated the pot up and we ate. 1 bowl, I had 1 bowl. Awesome. I usually have several bowls and then another while I'm cleaning things up. Pretty proud of myself.

Dee, welcome and feel free to offer anything you please.[/quote']

Any reason you are not doing mushie Proteins? They are much better for you and will stay with you longer. Try cottage cheese, egg salad or make your own ham or chicken salad. You can do it low fat and will be better for you in the long run. Just a suggestion.

[Suziecat 379]

Well, yeah. I could have eaten a whole lot healthier. But I really didn't even eat very much at all. It might have been my wayof giving myself a little splurge right before I get back into loosing weight again.

We were taught that in Weight Watchers. Never to deprive yourself of something you really have a craving for. It only sets you up for a big failure. If you have a craving for DQ, then go there and get the smallest you can get and then have about 4 or 5 bites and then put it in the freezer. There were many times I did that and then up having it in my freezer for over a week. It taught me that I really didn't need to shovel it all in my mouth and learn how to slowly enjoy it and get my cravings under control.

So later today I get to go back to chewing food again. I'll first get my Protein Shake in for Breakfast and probably have some Soup for lunch. Then most likely grill something with veggies while sitting outside listening to the ball game. Our favorite thing to do.

[Suziecat 379]

So two days now eating regular food. This time I am really paying more attention to my band. Like this morning the men's group had breakfast after church. I got my plate and grabbed a cup of OJ. Was walking to the table and hubby askedme why I got that. Duh, force of habit. No OJ for me. So we sit down and I have a biscuit and a breakfast casserole on my plate. The biscuit was still cold inside so I didn't eat it. I had eaten about 4 small bites of my casserole and was done. There was a really nice older man sitting at the table we were at and I paid more attention to the conversation then eating. So hubby asked if I was done and he took my plate and threw it away. I hate throwing good food away. I then went to the kitchen and threw my OJ down the drain. :-(

But I have made a vow to myself that I am going to let the band do the work it is supposed to do and that I am going to follow it. If it says I have had enough, then that's it.No more pushing it to the limit. It has worked for the last two days and I am happy. I just need to keep my vow.

[LJCBF 363]

So two days now eating regular food. This time I am really paying more attention to my band. Like this morning the men's group had breakfast after church. I got my plate and grabbed a cup of OJ. Was walking to the table and hubby askedme why I got that. Duh' date=' force of habit. No OJ for me. So we sit down and I have a biscuit and a breakfast casserole on my plate. The biscuit was still cold inside so I didn't eat it. I had eaten about 4 small bites of my casserole and was done. There was a really nice older man sitting at the table we were at and I paid more attention to the conversation then eating. So hubby asked if I was done and he took my plate and threw it away. I hate throwing good food away. I then went to the kitchen and threw my OJ down the drain. :-(

But I have made a vow to myself that I am going to let the band do the work it is supposed to do and that I am going to follow it. If it says I have had enough, then that's it.No more pushing it to the limit. It has worked for the last two days and I am happy. I just need to keep my vow.[/quote']

Congrats on your effort and moving forward. I hope you are able to find the Freedom and life change that I have enjoyed. The band was a part of the equation for me and an important part.

Lee

[morelgirl 177]

Sorry that I haven't checked in for a while. This work deadline has darned near killed me, and still might, so I'll likely be scarce for another week or two. Tomorrow evening I leave for a work conference and will be gone until next week. It will be the first time I've travelled after recommitting to my band, so I'm a bit nervous. I'm trying to hold on to the mindset that whatever happens will be okay. I won't be able to cook the way I normally do for myself, so all I can do is make the best choices available to me and try to listen to what the band is telling me. If I gain, then I gain. It has happened before and likely will again, but having the band means that if I make the right choices, I can take it off again and then continue moving forward. That's all I can do.

Other than that, things are okay. Loss has slowed way down, but I have managed to break through to the other side. I have officially lost all the weight I regained and also shed 0.2lbs on top of it. It's not coming off as fast as I want, but as long as it comes off, I'm trying to stay positive.

Everyone keep up the good work and keep moving forward. I know you can.

[SueBee01 630]

That is awesome. Take some Snacks with you when you travel. At least if you are starving you will have something that you know you can eat! Good luck and let us know how it goes.

[tanqueray 16]

Wow everyone. I am sitting hear all teary eyed.

HOW I NEEDED THIS THREAD!! Like Purrplelover, I recently gained 37 pounds back. I originally lost 120. I was a size 14 but now need 16 jeans. (at my thinnest but most unhealthy, I could wear some 12's but really I was a 14) I had some troubles earlier this year with being too tight and didn't eat or drink for 10 days. The surgeon had to take over 2 cc's out of my band and wa-la I gained 20 pounds.

I haven't been on this site for over 8 months which in reflection is BAD, very bad for me. I need this support.

I have failed myself and my conviction to my weight loss journey. But I am getting back on track and this thread has helped tremendously. I also admit to needing a fix on my anti-depressent (I have struggled with depression since I was 12) but I am reluctant because as someone mentioned earlier, my PCP is a nasty old fart that constantly criticizes my weight. (even at my lowest he thought I needed to lose much more) So because I am depressed, I am self medicating through booze and food. Bad combination I know. I have a friend that recommended her doctor (very weight friendly) and I will call today to get an appointment.

I started working out again and am tracking my food via Lose It. So, I am on my way again. But emotionally I am a wreck. That's why this thread really impacted me. I'm not alone. I'm not a failure. I'm not isolate--I have help at my fingertips. Many thanks folks.

[TheCurvyMermaid 51]

Tanqueray, every day is a new day. I'm glad you found our little group too! All you can do is to put one foot in front of the other and do the best you can. If you slip up, and you will, let it go and don't beat yourself up, just get back on track. Good luck with the new doc, sounds like ditching the jerkface is a good move.