Starting over, 5 years after surgery

[TheCurvyMermaid 51]

Hey Amy,

I get the roommate thing. My roommates are great, but they can be a little bit clueless too. I know I've explained how the band works, and one of the two has seen me when I was so tight that I couldn't eat anything, but I still don't think they really get it. Sometimes, it's really not a matter of if I WANT to eat something, I just can't risk it. On top of that, there is a HUGE amount of junk food in the house. One of our cupboards is full of total diet killers. I've started referring to it as the "Cupboard of Forbidden Delights."

Currently there are two whole shelves full of nothing but potato chips, cheetos, pretzels, doritos, nutella, whoppers, jelly Beans, and no less than five varieties of Girl Scout Cookies. Any or all of those things go down just fine with the band, as we all know! Yesterday, I pulled the few good foods that are mine out of there, including steel cut oats, chia seeds, whole almonds, etc... not all of them are band friendly, but they're healthier, at least. I've done pretty well at staying away from the junk, and I'm hoping that the old "out of sight, out of mind" trick will help. If I don't have to stare a jumbo sized jar of Nutella in the face every time I reach in to grab a tablespoon of chia seeds, it might be a little bit easier to stay on track. I'm going to try to carve out a little space in another cupboard to keep my Protein powders and other assorted band friendly bits.

[TheCurvyMermaid 51]

Also, since one of my roommates is vegetarian, even if he cooks something healthy and is kind enough to offer some to me, there's very little Protein in the dish, and that's a dietary priority for me right now.

[Suziecat 379]

Hello Stephanie. Boy, I'm not sure how you do it with all of that food there. In my house we have nothing in the kitchen that I can snack on. But in the computer room where my husband spends most of his time is all the crap. chips, popcorn, Cookies candies, peanuts and whatever else he likes. He usually leaves in on the table next to the bed in there. So I asked him to move every thing but the can of peanuts and the pretzels. Those I allow myself to have while I'm watching tv with him. More power to you.

This morning was our family Breakfast at Cracker Barrell. Anyone can show up and it's great to see all of my cousins and aunts and uncles. It's a great chance to get caught up on how eveyone is doing. So my husband and I each ordered two eggs over easy and bacon and we split an order of toast. I can do bread as long as it is toasted. But there was a glass of Water sitting in front of me and I found myself several times trying to reach for it. I finally picked it up ad plunked it down in front of my husband. It jolted him a little and he looked at me with that "What" look. I told him to keep it on his side so I didn't drink any while I was eating. Ughh, that is still my weakness.

So later today I going to go meet my friend after she gets off work and we are going to walk by the lake. They have a really great trail there and we enjoy it. We will walk a mile and then sit on a bench for about an our and just talk. I'm going to take my cane with me and I told her I might only be able to make it to the first bench but at least I'm out and trying. My thighs are still weak a little bit. But today was the first time I went out without the cane. Well, I took it and left it i the car because I still need it for the steps.

Amy, I looked on the internet for MyPalFitness.com and I set up an account. Hopefully in the next day or two, I will have a chance to look it over. I alreay have Loseit on my nook. But I just need to use it, whatever I decide on.

I hope everyone is having a good day.

Suzanne.

[morelgirl 177]

I tried to post yesterday, but after I composed a big, long (obviously brilliant ;-P) post, the Internet ate it, so I gave up. But like always, I'm trying again!

Stephanie, good move getting all your stuff out of That Cabinet. At least if you don't have to go in there for your own things, you won't be faced with temptation on a daily basis. If I were you, I'd be acting like That Cabinet had been mysteriously sucked into a black hole and no longer existed.

Suzie, BIG bravo on your walk and on the Water situation at CB. I watched a series of videos yesterday by a band doctor in Australia or New Zealand who said that current theory says that foods move through the band within a minute, so he allows his patients to drink while eating IF they wait for a full minute after swallowing a bit of food before taking a sip of a drink. It makes sense to me, but when I had a tiny glass of wine (totally ok with my doc) with dinner last night, I found I forgot to drink it because I was concentrating so hard on chewing and pausing between bites! I ended up sipping on it after dinner through the evening. Which was actually nice. I don't think I'll be really changing my habits for ordinary drinks (which for me is Water or Crystal Light) but it was nice to have a couple of sips of wine that complimented my food, and I didn't notice any difference in satiety after I was finished. Not making a suggestion to anyone, just found it interesting.

Yesterday I stepped on my scale and it had gone up a pound, but I knew based on my calorie intake that there was no way I had gained a pound overnight, so I had to talk myself off the ledge and remind myself of that a few times before I was able to put it out of my head and go on with my day, but sure enough, it was back off this morning. I'm thinking it was sodium, so I'll be keeping an eye on that.

Hope everyone has a great day today! Just look forward to the weekend!

[TheCurvyMermaid 51]

I find that sodium plays a BIG part on the scale for me. Different strokes for different folks, but I like to weight myself every day and track it on a calendar. That way I can see the day to day fluations, and as long as I've got a downward trend, I don't care about the day I magically "gain" three pounds overnight. Las week, I went out for pho with a girlfriend of mine. It's a really tasty vietnamese rice noodle Soup (I ordered it without noodles) with slices of rare beef and brisket that I lovingly refer to it as a "bowl of salt." The next morning, sure enough I was up two pounds, but it came off in a day or so. Just drink your Water and don't stress it.

[HilaryInRC 116]

Hello Ladies,

I am glad to see that this thread is really taking off!

As for me, I'm 2 weeks in on wearing my CPAP (which is supposed to be integral for me getting back on track). I'm getting really good quality sleep, but my actual sleep schedule is a disaster! I get anywhere from 3-12 hours a night and I can never predict what it is going to be. Even on nights with 12 hours, I still sometimes need an afternoon nap, which further messes up my sleep schedule. I emailed my PA, Andrew, about this and hope to hear from him with some tips or encouragement or something!

Since quitting weight watchers and switching over to myfitnesspal, I can see that I am eating too frequently and too many calories total over the day. All of my meals seem to come in around 300-400 calories with plenty of Protein, but the problem is that there are 5 of them! I'm hungry ever 2.5-3 hours. But, I'm hesitant to go in for a fill until I get this sleep stuff all figured out.

I'm trying to be patient. I'm waiting for all of this good sleep I'm getting to make a difference in my eating. Andrew says it will take 3-4 weeks. It has only been two. I'm trying not to be hard on myself and keep my chin up. But, I feel so dang frustrated with myself and the band.

On the upside, it was good to see my boyfriend this week. He never makes any comments about my body or weight, or tries to tell me what to eat or how to exercise. And, we have strong chemistry. He is extremely physically fit. He is in the Navy and is 240 lbs of solid muscle on a 5'10" frame. He talks about working out a lot and keeping his fitness on track. He is pretty inspirational, and he looks better than most 42 year old men that I know! But, I can't help thinking he'd be happier if I was thin. I somehow feel that all of our little problems would go away if I was more beautiful and fit. Last spring when I was 30 lbs thinner, he commented on how good I looked and how proud he was of me. He hasn't said he feels otherwise now, but I think he would like for me to shrink back down some. This might be too much information, but a few weeks ago I put on some lingerie for him and he had no reaction. That made me feel very un-sexy.

Well, I suppose that is all for now. I got my fitbit in the mail yesterday. I'm looking forward to getting started with it.

-Hilary

[Suziecat 379]

Hilary, I'm wondering if maybe your boyfriend is one of those people that "they just don't see it". My sister told me that one time. She said yes, I see that you need to lose weight, but I just don't see it because your weight is not who you are. My husband is also the same way. Yes he wants me to lose weight and get healthy but if it never happened, he's ok with it. He loves me for who I am and not the shell. I hope I have explained that right. Maybe it could have been the lingerie you bought wasn't something that turned him on. Keep trying.

We have the most beautiful weather here today. I have even managed to clean a few windows. It's a good cleaning day. What sucks is we can't grill out today. So instead we are going to have fish for lunch and then bean burritos for dinner.

I tried doing the MyFitnessPal on-line last night. Maybe I just need to spend more time looking around on it. But a few things I had eaten yesterday were not on there. It just seems like it is very time consuming.

Ok, back outside so I can soak up some sun before we get hit with cold weather again tomorrow.

[morelgirl 177]

Hi Hilary,

I so understand your frustration. I woke up with it this morning, even though as far as I can tell nothing changed between the time I went to bed and the time I got up as far as my body was concerned. I stepped on the scale and saw it was just the same as yesterday, and after the high of my first week back on track when it seemed to drop steadily every morning, that wasn't exactly exciting to see. But at the same time, I'm almost glad it happened in a weird way, because I know that eventually I'm going to hit plateaus or small gains and I think it's probably good that I'm seeing proof of that now when I'm still enthusiastic and faithful about checking in here often for support and information.

Your words about your boyfriend, though, made me sad. Please don't play the mind reading game with him. I do that all the time and over the years (and after a good bit of therapy) I've really learned that not only is it bad for my self esteem and my confidence, I'm also usually wrong about whatever I thought the other person was thinking! As long as he's supportive and loving and not trying to criticize or sabotage, it sounds like he's doing his part to help you through this. If he didn't find you attractive, he wouldn't be with you. Men are like that. If you need his praise to pump you up for your wl journey, you may have to tell him that, but don't assume that because he doesn't say something that he's unhappy. And think how awesome it will be when you're losing again and don't even have to wait for the compliments to roll in.

You do sound like you need a fill though, if you're hungry every couple of hours. That's how I feel right now and I can't wait for my appointment on Wednesday. For the first time in the year since I got my band, the green zone seems like a place I can actually get to, instead of a fantasy world, like Oz or Neverland. I hope one more fill puts me there, but if not, you can bet your booty I'm making a follow up appointment for 2 weeks from Wed just in case!

Have a great day, everyone! It's Friday!

[Suziecat 379]

Yesterday I had to run to Walgreens to pick up a prescription. My sister asked if she could go and pick hers up also. So we are walking to the front of the store and there was a display of bags of M&M's. One caught our eye and we stopped to look at it. We thought it was M&M robin eggs but turned out to not be. Oh robin eggs are my favorite and I could eat a whole bag of them. We actually made it out without buying any Easter candy. Whew.

We have a 50th wedding anniverary party to go to today. I already have it in my head that I will by pass the cake. Actually we probably won't stay long. It's a long drive to get there and we will want to get back home before it gets dark and colder.

I don't weigh myself everyday. I know a lot of people do, but I'm not one of them. I would probably just give up the whole trying to lose weight if I did. It's that daily fluctuation that would drive me crazy.Yeah it would be great if it was a loss everyday, but to see it go up and down would put a damper on my spirit. So I weigh once a week or I don't weigh until I have an appointment to see the Doc. I know I'm in this to loose the weight but I know it will come off and I try not to let it take over my life. I guess I'm saying that I'm not going to let it rule my days, I'll take the losses when I get them.

Their is s friend of mine that stresses over a .6 gain. Nope, I'm not going there. I have moe things to worry about.

So tonight the corned beef will go into the crockpot. Which means that several times during the night, I will wake up smelling it. I don't cook cabbage, so I won't have to deal with that smell. My mouth is watering just thinking about the corned beef.

Have a great weekend.

[Suziecat 379]

I have a question to ask. When you go to get a fill, do you eat a good meal before hand knowing that you will be on soft food for a while. And if you eat real good and they go to put Fluid in, Does the food push on the band and make it seem tight for Doc and they don't put in very much fill? Is it better to go in with an empty tummy?

[morelgirl 177]

I was advised by my doctor not to eat before a fill, and since my appointments are almost always in the morning, it's easy for me follow that advice. I don't eat Breakfast. (I know all the ideas about metabolism, etc, but after tracking my calorie intake over months and months, I have found that when I eat Breakfast, I actually end up eating MORE calories throughout the day, not fewer). I just have my coffee, get my fill, then do liquids for the rest of the day, and usually the day after as well.

Suziecat, congrats on passing up the Easter candy, and good luck at the party today. I'm sure you'll do great, but I hope you enjoy it as well.

For me, daily weigh ins are a matter of accountability at the moment. I have a bad habit of avoiding the scale as a way of avoiding the truth. When I only weigh myself weekly, it's just too easy for me to say, "oh, I don't have to get on the scale until Monday and today is just Wednesday. I can't totally eat this extra food and just work it off before Monday." But I never do, and that splurge on Wednesday turns into another on Friday, then Saturday, too. So I weigh every day and just remind myself over and over that fluctuations are normal and it is only trends that need my time and attention. Sometimes that's harder to remember than others, but when I need a reality check, I just check in here and someone drags me back down to earth.

My challenge today is mostly one of scheduling. I have a bunch of errands to run that will keep me out of the house for several hours today, since I have to spend time at the barn where I board my horse in the middle of them. That means I will be away from my cocoon of healthy food when there's a chance I could get hungry. In the past, that and the ease of fast food were often my down fall. Since I can't do that now, I think I'll try bringing a Protein bar with me and eating that if I get hungry. I hate wasting calories on Protein Bars, but since I keep them around for emergencies, I'm guessing this would count as one. So that's the plan, and I aim to stick to it.

Have a great weekend everyone!

[HilaryInRC 116]

Thanks Amy and Suzanne for the words of encouragement. I think I've just had so many jerk boyfriends that are always trying to force me to lose weight, I have a hard time believing that someone can like me just the way I am physically (even though we've been seeing eachother for 2 years!). But, I do want to be hot and sexy for him even so!

But, here is a little mini victory. I wore my fitbit yesterday and walked 11,000 steps (equals a little over 5 miles). I took a walk in the morning and, when I saw I was still off by a few thousand steps of my goal (goal is 10k steps), went out for a second walk last night. I think that will be the plan for right now, curb my calories and take a morning and evening walk. Yesterday I ate 1500 calories. I am trying to get down to 1200 a day. This morning I got on the scale and saw I had lost a few pounds. I'm not sure how that is possible, maybe losing Water weight or something. But, it was good to see it anyway. And, I have gotten up at 7:00 am for two days in a row. I'm hoping I can keep getting up at the same time from here on out. Maybe my CPAP struggles are almost over?

When I go in to get a fill, I will only have liquids, Soup, scrambled eggs, cottage cheese or yogurt up to a few hours pre-fill. Then, I drink Water only in the hour or two until I get the fill.

Question: How long after a fill do you stay on liquids and soft and mushies?

My band doc said liquids for the rest of the day and soft and mushies for the day after, then back to normal. But, I have noticed on youtube on the Banded Wendy videos that her doctor keeps her on liquids and soft and mushies for two weeks post fill.

As for weighing on the scale. I am kind of obsessive about it! I weigh in first thing in the morning in the nude before I have had food/after going to the bathroom. I usually weigh in at the end of the day too in my pjs, at which point I'm usually 2 lbs heavier. If I don't pay close attention to the scale I gain. In fact, the idea of not weighing myself for a week makes me feel nervous! It will be nice to feel free of the scale one day.

[Suziecat 379]

Well Crap. We had a 50th. anniversary party to go to today and I had a great mind set.

Got up this morning and had my Protein drink. Started laundry, cleaned and then went in and took a shower and got ready to go. We left about 1:30 and got there. They had all kinds of food, some good and some I knew I shouldn't have. So I went over and got me a glass of Water. While standing there a guy offered me a bowl of ice cream and I politely refused. We didn't stay long, long enough to visit with my husbands family for a little bit. eaded home and neither one of us mentioned what we were going to have for lunch. Got a home around 3:30 and I changed clothes and then headed to the kitchen to fix something for us. And it was all over with. I did so great allmorning and then wiped it out the rest of the day. So I'm going to bed before put one more thing in my mouth.

Tomorrow is a new day......Oh no. Corned beef. Give me strength.

[morelgirl 177]

Tomorrow is absolutely another day, Suzie. Instead of thinking about the afternoon where you didn't stick to plan, think about the morning when you did, even in the face of obvious temptation! Success isn't determined by how many times you fall down, but by how many times you get up. (Can't remember who said that, but I do know they were absolutely right!)

[morelgirl 177]

Today I'm trying to combat my fear and eat more food! I've been paranoid about "being good" or being compliant since my fill a couple of weeks ago, so I think I've gone a little bit bonkers with keeping my calories low. I keep telling myself I should get at least 1000, but last night I came in at less than 800. I know that's no good and that if I don't eat more I will actually stall my weight loss, but it's hard to remember when I'm so anxious to get rid of this regain I saddled myself with.

But, I want to do what's best in the long run, so today my goal is 1200 calories. From pt experience, I know that varying my calories is also good for me. My metabolism is so bad, that confusing it is sometimes the only hope, so with luck I can kill 2 birds with one stone.

I'm also super excited for my appointment on Wednesday so I can see exactly how much progress I've made over the last 2 weeks ( my scale might as well be on another planet from my surgeon's) and to get another fill. So fingers crossed that more food will do the trick!