Starting over, 5 years after surgery

[TheCurvyMermaid 51]

Hi All,

I've had an account here for a while, but haven't ever really been active. I was banded in June of '08 and had a serious rollercoaster ride with my band, almost from the start. About six months after surgery, I started having problems finding the proverbial "sweet spot." I either had too little restriction and wouldn't lose weight, or I had too much, and would start upon a horrible cycle of sliming, throwing up, and eventually being so swollen that I couldn't eat or drink. I had difficulty eating meat, and most fruits and vegetables. salad was a total no-go. This was often the case even when I didn't seem to be too tight and had no problem eating other foods. I couldn't eat carrot sticks or chicken, but had no problem scarfing down ice cream or a bag of cheetos. In fact, at one point that's *all* I could get down, and I would eat them just to get SOMETHING in my system and get my blood sugar off the floor. (Oops... yeah, I'll own that I made some bad eating choices!)

I even had trouble sleeping. After three years, I'd lost almost 50 lbs, but I was so miserable that I couldn't take it anymore. My band was too tight, I had constant heartburn, and I could barely get liquids down. I didn't want to give up (especially after financing my surgery out of pocket.) but I just couldn't do it any longer. By the time I was unfilled, I couldn't get down broth, much less any of my daily medications. (Which in my case is BAD.) I had my band completely unfilled, and haven't been back to the clinic since. Every once in a while when I eat the wrong thing or eat too fast, I'll get a stab to the chest and remember that the old girl is still in there, but otherwise it's been pre-surgery eating as usual, with both good and bad choices, and everything in between.

Now, a year and a half of yo-yo-ing later, I've regained most of the weight I'd lost, and I've decided to try it again. I'm hoping for a better result, but I'm afraid I'll end up facing the same issues. I feel like I have to completely re-acquaint myself with proper band eating, and after my history I really don't know what to expect. I'm nervous and uncertain of what's ahead.

Has anybody else been in the same boat?

[cheryl2586 3,053]

I have not but I wish you well and much success your second time around.

[HilaryInRC 116]

I understand. I had my band done in October of 2008. I lost some weight, gained it all back, lost again, gained again plus even more weight, and now I'm trying my hardest to lose...again. Sigh. Right now I'm at the exact same weight I was when I got the band in the first place (and I've recently lost 8 lbs).

I have only had 4.something ccs in my 10 cc band. I have had trouble going tighter than that, but have come to realize now that I haven't been doing the right thing by my band. Being able to take huge bites of english muffin isn't right. I'm supposed to be taking small bites and possibly not even be able eat bread. And, tonight I was thinking that I would like to have pizza for dinner. I've been thinking about pizza for three weeks. So, I was working out how much I could have and how many points it would be (just joined weight watchers) and I decided I could have two slices of thin crust veggie. And I was thinking, that isn't going to be enough food. I'm going to need a salad too. Then I was like, (parden the profanity) "Jesus! I shouldn't be able to eat a salad and two slices of pizza at all, much less in 20 minutes for dinner!" (I decided to go with a salad and a few baked coconut shrimp instead). And, I decided that after a year of hiding from my surgeon, it is time to go in for a fill. I'm asking myself, what was the point of getting the band in the first place if I'm not going to use it? I didn't pay $16,000 out of pocket for this surgery to not use the tool I've been given. And, FYI, I have really been on a roller coaster with my band. At first I was expecting magic and efforless weight loss. Then, when I realized it wasn't just going to be easy peasy with no effort from me, I got really pissed (again, sorry about the language) and hated the band for a few years. Fairly recently I decided I wanted the darned thing removed and to see if my insurance would pay for bypass or the sleeve. And, thanks to this website and some of the wonderful people here in the forums, have very recently decided that I can't just hate the band when I haven't really given it a chance. I mean, I am pretty non-compliant with the band.

So, I have joined weight watchers and am trying to do a daily 30-60 minute walk out in the desert (soft sand). I made an appointment for a fill today. My appointment is on the 27th. When I called the office, I was disappointed to learn that my long-time nurse I've been seeing doesn't work there anymore! :-( So, I now need to start over with someone new. I am a little disappointed, but maybe this is exactly what I need. A fresh beginning for me and with a fresh person to manage my care (same surgeon's office, just a new PA). I'm going to take a leap and get a moderate fill. I'm going to say I don't want a tiny one, but not a big one either. I want something that I will notice, but won't make me hate life i.e. slime and throw up all the time.

[pjop 9]

I could have written your post! I had my band done in 2009. I got discouraged early because I was not losing weight and I stopped going to the MD. I decided to give it another go and as of yesterday I had my 8th adjustment since April of 2012. I cannot find the sweet spot either. I am either too loose and can eat anything or too tight and choking on my gastric acid at night (I even aspirated and had pneumonia last year from being too tight). I have lost 12 lbs. since going back last April. That is not a success story in my book. I have lost about 35 lbs. overall but that was not from the band, that was from eating low carb the year before last. I feel like such a failure to have gone to the extreme of having weight loss surgery and STILL not be able to lose. I don't know what the answer is, but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

[TheCurvyMermaid 51]

It's good to know I'm not alone at least.

Hillary, I TOTALLY feel you. I've been doing weight watchers on and off too... lost about 20 lbs last year with diet and excercise, and then gained it all back after an injury from overtaining at the gym. After pulling a muscle in my back a couple of weeks ago and ending up just about incapacitated, my doc gave me a course of steroids, muscle relaxers, and painkillers. Between the steroids, poor food choices, and inactivity while resting my back, I've put on almost ten pounds since then. Eek! Not okay. If you do WW online and feel like adding me there, my handle is TheCurvyMermaid.

Pjop, I used to wake up choking on acid too. It's pretty bad when you can't pass your own saliva through the band, isn't it. I've told people, you really have no idea how much Fluid your mouth produces on a constant basis, along with when you eat, until it stops going down. It's absolutely awful that you got pneumonia. I'd say that my biggest health complaint with the band comes from not being able to throw up. (Slight oversharing coming up, but I'm just keeping it real.)

Sometimes, your body needs to get rid of things. (Hello, hangover! I kid you not, there was one time I had a throwing up sick hangover from *one glass* of red wine. How lame is that?!?!) When your body is trying to get rid of something toxic and can't, it can be pretty miserable. I get Migraines about 4-5 times a year, and have had them for most of my life. The pattern they follow is that I get the Migraine, and the pain gets more and more severe over the course of about 3-6 hours until I finally get nauseaus and throw up. After that happens, I take my pain reliever of choice, and the pain recedes. Until I throw up, the headache WILL NOT go away, and I've found more often than not, my band makes my digestive system a one way street. My body *tries* to throw up, but it can't get back up past the band, so I can't get the reset I need. I'm really not looking forward to going back to that.

There's a part of me which wonders if I just really didn't try hard enough to do things by the book. The guidelines I was given by the clinic I went to were to eat a 4oz meal a day, 3x a day. No Snacks, and only calorie free beverages. It was so different from the guidelines that I heard from other people who went to other practices, and so counter to what I've always been told about nutrition and healthy eating that I totally ignored the "success formula" I was given and pretty much tossed it out the window. I thought I knew better, and maybe I really didn't.

I paid for my surgery out of pocket. I paid about $6,000 in cash up front and financed the other $12,000 through Care Credit. Huge financial mistake! With a 29% interest rate, I can only blame it on being young and stupid. Almost five years later, I still owe about $4,000, and make the equivalent of a car payment every month. My insurance considers the band elective, so nothing was covered, including any fills I get. The clinic charges $175 for adjustments, and that amount covers any adjustments for the following 3 month period. Paying that out of pocket is a pretty penny when you're on a budget.

I don't know if I'm going to be able to pull this off, and if things will be different this time around. I wonder, am I just throwing good money after bad? I'll totally own that I have a love/hate relationship with food. (I suppose that many of us do, or we wouldn't have ended up so large that we got WLS in the first place, right?) I eat too much. I eat when I'm bored. I eat the wrong things. I eat when I'm emotional, and I eat to make myself feel better. I stuff myself silly sometimes just because I can. I don't always do all of these things, but there's definitely an underlying pattern of behavior. I ask myself, did I continue the same behaviours and just find a way to eat around the band? Did I just not try hard enough to use this tool? I really don't know, but I try to be self aware enough to at least ask myself the question.

I really hope I'll be more successful this time around, but I have misgivings, and I hope that with those doubts, I'm not setting myself up for failure from the start.

[cheryl2586 3,053]

I just want to say that all of us have an issue with food. We all love it but you have the tool you need to begin to have a new relationship with food. I lost very well for the first six months 70lbs then I quit smoking and no weight loss for a year. I have only 3 cc's in my band but the thing that has gotten me down the other 52lbs is Protein. I am a total sugar addict. If I eat one single crumb of sugar then I binge. You have to find out what it is that you binge most on and totally delete it from your diet. I know people say everything in moderation but some of us cant. I was not able to eat meat and ended up a vegan. I realized then that after months of being a vegan my whole relationship with food changed because I felt better. Even at only 3ccs that is my green zone. I love healthy food. Today I would take a vegetable or a piece of fruit over any pizza. I have learned to seaons my veggies good, I eat vegan burgers, black bean burgers, vegan meatballs and they are not bad plus I have learned to make my own vegan dishes. That doesnt mean this is what you have to do I am just telling you what I have done. My doctor put me on ideal protein for about 3 months. It was worth the money because it got rid of the sugar cravings in me. I dropped 52 pounds in 3 months. The problem with me is the band has never taken my hunger away but I eat less. I still get hungry but I eat every couple of hours. I will eat once in a while lunch meat because its about all my band will tolerate meat wise. I will take some lunch meat, grape tomatoes and banana peppers and put them all together and eat them and it is good. You really have to find out the foods that trigger your bad eating and totally get away from them. I wish you all the best of luck in your second time around and hope you do well.

[TheCurvyMermaid 51]

Thanks, Cheryl. It's awesome that you've been so successful with your band. I really hope I can hit my stride with the band. Sugar is a big trigger food for me too, especially ice cream. I avoid buying it, because if I do, I know I'll manage to inhale the whole carton in a few days, so I just don't buy it. I find that the more sugar I have, the more I want.

When I had my band, my surgeon kept saying that I should be full and stay satisfied on just the 4 oz, 3x a day... and that was definitely not my experience. Because I didn't stay satisfied between those meals, I figured my band wasn't tight enough, and would get a fill, but maybe I was wrong in that. Like you, I was hungry every couple of hours. The one size fits all approach that my surgeon takes is a bit frustrating. I think I need to find a balance between what they tell me there, and what works for me. I didn't find it last time around, but hopefully it will go better this time.

I *really* hope I'll be able to tolerate fruits, veggies, and salad greens this time around. I missed bread and Pasta, but what I missed most were the fruits and veggies. The first thing I ate when I got my band unfilled was a veggie tray. I scarfed out on fresh broccoli, carrots, and celery... LOL!

What is ideal Protein? I'm not familiar with it.

[cheryl2586 3,053]

Its a program but it was expensive. It ran me about 122 a week but they give you Protein puddings, bars, shakes, Soups and you can eat up to 8 ounces of meat twice a day with four cups of veggies. Day 4 was hell from detoxing off the sugars and the carbs but it worked. You cant buy the products online but they do have centers everywhere. I was frustrated and couldnt get anymore fills because I just cant handle them. I would have a protein pudding in the morning, a boiled egg at lunch then since hamburger was about the only meat that I could eat at the time I would make a chop steak and eat half of it at both meals because there was no way I was eating 16 ounces of meat no way. But its still the same concept of high protein low carb. I too can not eat ice cream because I will eat a half gallon in one day lol. I find that once I got off of sugar I never want it anymore. Even if I look at a piece of candy and think Im gonna I run from it. I know me. I try not to eat any starchy carbs either because they turn to sugar to then the cycle begins. I am here if you need me. I just started eating greek yogurt about 4 months ago because I love it but then again the sugar thing. Sugar addiction is hard but if you can just let it go and not eat any of it you can beat it. My husband thinks he is making me happy when he buys all that crap but when he would go away for work I would throw it out and he thought I ate it. But I cant. If you detox off sugar just know day 3 and 4 will be hell and I mean the bitchy, headache, hellish day ever in the history of life lmao. True for real. I think I could have easily murdered a whole city of people and never remembered doing it lmao.

[TheDissh 8]

I haven't been on here in a long time ... And so glad I came across your thread.I am in the same boat with you and feel your pain. I'm starting over ... Thank you for sharing your story

[parisshel 1,892]

Great thread for me to read as a pre-op. I have this fear in the back of my mind that I won't be a success story, I'll be "the one person" who won't succeed with the band. I'm really glad to read all the posts on this thread to know what to expect, and what I can do to succeed (protein, Protein and protein!). I'm realizing how mental this game really is. Thanks, everybody.

[LTodd 4]

Wow, so glad I saw this post... I've been reading all the "good banders" stories on here and thought there was nobody like me... I had surgery about 6 years ago and lost about 96lbs, I wasn't really crazy about my surgeon, he didn't have a great personality and wasn't supportive or encouraging so I quit going. And I never went back. Now I'm trying to lose weight again (I gained back 40 Of the 100lbs I lost) and am calling the surgeons office to make an appt tomorrow. I'm kind of excited and kind of scared.... Who knows what he'll say...

[Lapbandster 496]

To those who have written that they have struggled with the band because either they were too loose or too tight: When you re-try using this this tool, please tell your doctor that you want to start getting fills SLOWLY! And then every subsequent fill only get .5 cc's put in (or less)

It's annoying and tedious, I know, but this way you can be sure that you will not "miss" your sweetspot by being too aggressively filled.

I find that many doctors do not give such tiny fills, but be honest with him/her and really speak up about this

[TheCurvyMermaid 51]

Well, I went to the clinic today, and the PA gave me an initial fill of 2CCs. (Remember, I'd been at 0.) I've got an appointment for an adjustment in a month if I need it. I think I was at 5CCs when they ufilled me, and I think at my highest fill I was at 6.5 or 7CCs. I expect I'll probably need a bit more, but I'm not going to go fill crazy.

Oh, restriction... It's been a while, but I remember you. The tight feeling in my chest when I drink cold Water, and the lack thereof when I have hot tea instead. Yeah, I didn't miss that! Now to figure out what do do about food. Definitely liquids tonight, and then we'll see how it goes from there. After this long without any restriction, I know it probably sounds silly, but I'm a little bit scared to eat! Should do wonders for my weight loss if I can keep that up, right?... (Kidding...)

One nice thing that's changed at the clinic, right off the bat they gave me a new "Bariatric Eating 101" packet which focuses heavily on Protein intake, Vitamin supplements, and the glycemic index. I feel MUCH better about the new focus, especially on low GI foods. They didn't really say much about portions, (I'm going to assume 1/2-1 cup of solid food) but they want us to shoot for 90g of Protein a day. Does that seem a little high, or is it just me?

Anyhow, thanks everybody for the sounding board and the support. For those of you starting over, like me... let's do this. Good luck to us all!

[TheDissh 8]

That's great ... I called my doctor today to get back on track !!! The doctor's office asked why its been so long since I've been back? I told them I made an appointment to see my doctor and they gave me a PA instead who stuck me three times trying to find my port ...then the area became bruised and sore following the appointment. I have to be honest ...that was my first and last time I ever got a fill. I feel like such a failure ... But that was the worst experience. I hope my primary doctor won't give me such a hard time and refer me so I can give it another chance

[Jackie07 5]

Has anybody tried the 5 day pouch test?? It sounds like a great idea but the food choices are a little strange and I'm not sure if it will really help...