What did you tell you family/friends?

[Frederic 500]

I'm under the impression that not being honest about lap band surgery just helps propagate the misconceptions that it's vanity surgery or an easy option.

People aren't going to appreciate how hard and necessary WLS is for some people until we stop pretending all anyone has to do is diet and exercise to lose weight. If we get WLS and then claim "all" we did was change how we ate and exercise we're just making it harder for the next person who really needs WLS.

No social change ever occurred because people kept the need for change a secret.

[Luka Beth 78]

I was banded on march 25. I only told my boyfriend and my best friend who lives five states away. I did not tell Co workers our family. I told people that i was having my gall bladder out, and they have not questioned it. I didn't want to be constantly scrutinized about what i was eating or how much weight i was losing or not losing. Its a personal decision who to tell.

[LadyDiva618 359]

In the begining I told my family and my best friend that I was considerating getting the lap band. 3 months later I told my boss and when I got my surgery date I started tell everyone. I got more congratulations than I can ever imagine. This was a 7 month process for me it was not like I woke up one day and said I was getting the lap band. May 1st I was banded and have more support now then I did before I was banded. Good Luck to you.

[aviva1979 375]

I only told my husband, mother and sister I was exploring the Band and then a few close friends once I was further in the process to getting approved. Once I got approved I told my father and my manager at work, and a few other close work friends. I spend almost half my day with my work colleagues and a number of them I'm pretty close with after so many years - so it was important that a few know so when we travel together they have some sense of why I'm making the choices I'm making - and to be supportive versus trying to tempt me with negative behaviors. I'm still deciding whether or not I'll make a broader announcement to the rest of my family, friends and acquaintances.

[Mrs.Bales 31]

I have told only my husband, none of my friends, family or co-workers. If pressed I say I had a hernia repaired (which is true!).

I figure I didn’t feel the need to spread the word and annouce it as I put on weight why do I need to tell them all that I am being healthy? They will see I am making smart meal choices, who can find an issue with that? People who care for me and my welfare will support my new choices.

I have the first challenge tomorrow, lunch with my co-workers and I just started mushy foods today, I will likely find a Soup on the menu and don’t think anyone is really going to care what I order – just that I’m there.

The band is only a tool to limit my consumption, it is up to me to decide what I actually eat.

[flrosie 154]

I'm under the impression that not being honest about lap band surgery just helps propagate the misconceptions that it's vanity surgery or an easy option.

People aren't going to appreciate how hard and necessary WLS is for some people until we stop pretending all anyone has to do is diet and exercise to lose weight. If we get WLS and then claim "all" we did was change how we ate and exercise we're just making it harder for the next person who really needs WLS.

No social change ever occurred because people kept the need for change a secret.

You make such a good point! However, not everyone can be a spokesperson, a visible champion. Reading all the different responses to this thread, most come around to the idea that it really isn't anyone else's business so it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks about our decision to have WLS. We choose to live with others' ignorance of how hard this path really is because there is no way to explain the agonies that brought us to this point or the elation we feel at having found the tool that makes our new life possible. How long we each get to that point is as personal as our reason for having WLS in the first place.

[Frederic 500]

You make such a good point! However' date=' not everyone can be a spokesperson, a visible champion. Reading all the different responses to this thread, most come around to the idea that it really isn't anyone else's business so it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks about our decision to have WLS. We choose to live with others' ignorance of how hard this path really is because there is no way to explain the agonies that brought us to this point or the elation we feel at having found the tool that makes our new life possible. How long we each get to that point is as personal as our reason for having WLS in the first place.[/quote']

I would argue it does matter what other people think. How many of us would have gotten WLS earlier if we hadn't felt like it was "cheating"? The only reason to keep WLS a secret boils down to "shame" and if you need WLS there is no reason to feel shame. It isn't our fault that our bodies didn't evolve as quickly as our society.

There should be no more shame for WLS than there is for heart bypass or an appendectomy. Our bodies don't metabolize food and/or trigger satiation properly and WLS attempts to correct that.

I'm not saying people need to wear T-shirts and scream on street corners but when you decide to keep it a secret you're also helping keep that sense of shame alive; not just in yourself, but in society in general.

It's not easy to be part of social change but it does get easier the more people who try.

[Bandista 7,466]

My first post -- just logged in, don't even have a photo yet. Great to find others with same issues around privacy. One of the things I hate about being heavy is how it's all there for others to see. I'm not sure, but I think I want my surgery to be between me, my husband and a few close friends. And you guys, whoever you are! I think I am going to enjoy the online community. Thanks so much! Oh, and whoever wrote about their husband with no filters, I had to laugh. Mine has already had a lecture and hourly reminders that I don't want any one to know about this. I suspect I'll end up being very proud and wanting to speak out but for now it's such a big decision and it feels quite tender.

[utkscvol1 125]

I have been on my journey for the past 7 months and will be banded Thursday. My parents and hubby have known all along. I told my employer I was having a cyst removed. I will be taking a week off. Last week I told my brother and sister n law. That's it- I don't want anyone else knowing. It's very personal to me. My girls are 16 and 13 so I don't want to discuss it with them at this time.

[dylanmiles23 2,198]

My first post -- just logged in, don't even have a photo yet. Great to find others with same issues around privacy. One of the things I hate about being heavy is how it's all there for others to see. I'm not sure, but I think I want my surgery to be between me, my husband and a few close friends. And you guys, whoever you are! I think I am going to enjoy the online community. Thanks so much! Oh, and whoever wrote about their husband with no filters, I had to laugh. Mine has already had a lecture and hourly reminders that I don't want any one to know about this. I suspect I'll end up being very proud and wanting to speak out but for now it's such a big decision and it feels quite tender.

Congratulations!!! I told a few and most of my close family only. No one's business as far as I am concerned. Someone recently asked me how much weight I lost and when I told her that was private, she almost sh*t herself with my answer. my MIL thought that was an awful thing to ask someone. my MIL doesn't know how much, only my husband and this site.

Good luck.

[kca1fan 326]

I did and will continue to shout it from the rooftops. Hi my name is Corky and I had lapband surgery! I know the ones that will judge and think it is an easy fix do so out of ignorance. I knew going in it was gonna take work and determination. I was going to have to change everything I do and know about eating. Lapband and quitting smoking are the best things I have ever done for myself.

[cindya 54]

I only told my hubby and my two kids ages 25,26. and My best friend. when they ask how I losing the weight I tell them good eating choices!!!!

[rbmk14 59]

I also am worried about when I start losing weight and people ask me how much I lost. I really don't want to tell people because then they're going to figure out how much I weighed before!

[cofoner 23]

I also am worried about when I start losing weight and people ask me how much I lost. I really don't want to tell people because then they're going to figure out how much I weighed before!

I don't think they will take the time to figure out how much you weighed! People ask me and I tell them I have lost 50 lbs..I don't tell how much I weigh now. So they can think they know how much I weighed before, but they don't know for sure. They have a problem if they are going to worry about how much you weighed before!

[Frederic 500]

Trust me as a person who works in the behavioral field people are much too self centered to take the time to figure out how much you used to weigh the most common response will them imaging themselves either that much heavier or lighter depending on their own body issues.