anxious, scared and doubting myself

[dirich 4]

my title about says it all, what if I can't do it...............i really want to but what if I can't stick with it......haven't talked to a DR yet but will on the 19th.........this sounds like it will be the most difficult thing I have ever done....tiny bites, chewing forever, life long changes (how ever much I have left) really doubting myself cause so far I have failed so many diets and most more than 3 or 4 times...mu husband will support me 1000% so that's not an issue

[2muchfun 8,927]

Comment from another forum member who I cannot remember his name?:

"In my case, the most fearful thing I had to do in order to succeed with my band wasn't switching to skim milk, surviving a liquid diet, or giving up bread. The most fearful thing was giving up my emotional attachment to food. In the nearly 5 years since I was banded, I've made a lot of progress with that, but the attachment is still there. It forms one of the innermost layers of my turtle shell. Working on that layer will probably be a lifetime job for me. At times I'm not even sure I truly want to get rid of it altogether. At times I'm afraid that if I shed my shell completely, I won't be able to survive. On the other hand, I seem to be doing fine without that thick old b***h layer. So I'm going to pay attention to my dreams rather than my fears and pray for a miracle. And why not? It can't hurt to try!"

Dream a little. Fear not!

[parisshel 1,892]

I understand these feelings; I have them and I'm sure most pre-bandsters had them too. But what helps me when I start getting anxious is looking at the tremendous number of people who started like me, and who have had not only success, but LONGTERM success. This is where WLS differs from "just diet and exercise." The longterms success rate of keeping lost weight off is dramatically higher with WLS when compared with the 2% success rate of non-surgical methods of keeping lost weight off.

For me, it is essential that I accompany my post-band time with mental health support. While I am 100% convinced I will love my image as it transforms, I also predict it will be something that provokes some anxiety...who IS this person that was fat for so long? So I've already put into place my "mental health team" (a therapist who works with my surgeon's patients) who knows how to help me adjust to loving what my new outsides will look like.

This may be something you might want to consider, too, just to help take the edge of what you anticipate might be a rocky, but welcome, journey.

[akwright68 114]

The mental part is the hardest, but it is something that everyone here is going through at every stage of the journey. You have to also give yourself positive reinforcement. You CAN do this. You WILL succeed. Count every single success and positive thought and hold onto it. Let the negative go. This is your survival tool.

Anxiety is normal, talk it out with someone that is knowledgable of what you are going through. This forum is a wealth of knowledge and support, use it as you need it. We are all here to support you, be your ear or shoulder, your kick in the butt reminder, etc.

[general_antiope 189]

Shel, I had anxiety and anger when I lost 100 lbs. I would get unsolicited attention from men and would be so angry I would cry. I felt invaded and powerless - all cause someone whistled at me. It did go away, but it is a process!!

I think you are right on with getting the mental/emotional support.

Dirich, your feelings are not only normal but valid. You should be anxious, you should worry you might fail! It helps you set the right habits from day 1. This is not a guaranteed success. This isn't a magic wand, you are responsible for your weight loss. But the fun part is, there is no diet that (for me) was as easy or as successful as my band living. You will start to see food differently as time goes on. This isn't like other diets you've done because the food addiction hasn't ever been addressed. The band helps you become uninterested in food which is a whole world away from "eating less calories." Everyone can eat less calories and lose weight, but for us, we need something to help us stop focusing on food. The band does that through crushing hunger and preventing overeating (or slowing it down with pain and throw up).

Like a previous poster said, this is a great solution because of the number of people who keep it off long term. None of the other diet options out there (food only) have this kind of success rate! Good luck and keep the faith.

[dee257 1,516]

I think all your fearing is normal...~hugs~

we didnt get this way over night...

Also all the issues that made us want to turn to food will still be there..some place...

I to was very scared with the what if i fail.....but by the time of my banding I had my head right that I was doing this for me this time....and deep inside and even out loud I kne I was going to do this...this time...buuuuut....sitting in the hospital waiting to be wheeled into the OR...i was scared of the what if......

~hugs~....best wishes for you

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

my title about says it all, what if I can't do it...............i really want to but what if I can't stick with it......haven't talked to a DR yet but will on the 19th.........this sounds like it will be the most difficult thing I have ever done....tiny bites, chewing forever, life long changes (how ever much I have left) really doubting myself cause so far I have failed so many diets and most more than 3 or 4 times...mu husband will support me 1000% so that's not an issue

the most difficult thing one can do is remain the same and watch their life make them so unhappy that they didnt want to live. that was me 8 months ago. i was a diet pro (i can say i am now happily retired) and i lost and gained i would guess 200+ pounds...to me, failure means to not try...this surgery will help you lose weight (as long as you adhere to the band life)..once you understand its not a miracle cure all, you will find you can do anything you put your mind to..even if you dont think you can.

there is nothing wrong with taking small bites and chewing alot (finally taste the food instead of inhaling it so fast as to move on to the next plate)...yes, if you change how and what you eat, you will be successful...dont focus on what was.............focus on what can be

[Sai 785]

I'm sorry you are feeling all those things . I too was anxious about the lifelong changes, not just in eating habits but the emotional and mental side as well. The eating habits are the easiest ones to get used to. Even if I wanted to scarf down a whole bag of chips now, my band says "um... sorry you can't do that anymore." For me, the most torture I have had to endure is being morbidly obese most of my adult life. The not being able to fit in the airplane seats properly, not being able to breathe after a long walk from my car to the grocery store door, not being able to get on a ride at Magic Mountain. Those types of anxiety are all gone now. The chewing 20 times vs 3 is nothing compared to it. ((hugs))