venting

[donna12 742]

Found out today and boy how clueless I was and must have been and how dumb I must have looked to everyone, that my ex-husband's affair had been going on for years. It was with a girl that worked for him. He was the boss of the plant. All those late night "oh I gotta go in and talk to 3rd shift" yea right, she worked 3rd shift. and the year he left me was Oct '09, well we had gone to Destin, Fla on a family vacation with my entire family for a week and 3 days in I noticed he couldn't stay off his blackberry and then bam he announced "plant isn't running good I need to go home", so I took him to the airport so he could fly home early while I stayed with my family. Then another clue, I had gone to my brother's house for a weekend with my mom and when I came home there were women's bare feet prints all over the wood kitchen floor like lotioned feet prints. When I questioned, he said he had people over drinking, yea right. This person that told me of his infidelities worked for him and said everyone knew, everyone but me, boy do I feel like a fool. Up until today, I was having a hard time getting over him, I still loved him, after all we were married for 25 yrs, let's just say this put closure on it for me and a little hate in there. Not sinful hate, just hate but closure and it's time I move on. He didn't deserve me.

thanks for listening to my non-lap band discussion.

[vsoriano78 29]

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that but yes it time for u to move on and drop the pounds and have fun and relax and don't have to answer to no man for now just do u till ur ready to settle down but for now work very hard on u I know how it feels to be cheated on

Sent from my iPhone using LapBandTalk

[destynee1 417]

Sorry to hear that Donna. I feel your pain, been there and it's just unbelieveable how someone can live 2 lives. I am however glad you have some closure now. Move on, work on you, and you will find that happiness you deserve!! **hugs**!

[Summerrain 520]

Found out today and boy how clueless I was and must have been and how dumb I must have looked to everyone' date=' that my ex-husband's affair had been going on for years. It was with a girl that worked for him. He was the boss of the plant. All those late night "oh I gotta go in and talk to 3rd shift" yea right, she worked 3rd shift. and the year he left me was Oct '09, well we had gone to Destin, Fla on a family vacation with my entire family for a week and 3 days in I noticed he couldn't stay off his blackberry and then bam he announced "plant isn't running good I need to go home", so I took him to the airport so he could fly home early while I stayed with my family. Then another clue, I had gone to my brother's house for a weekend with my mom and when I came home there were women's bare feet prints all over the wood kitchen floor like lotioned feet prints. When I questioned, he said he had people over drinking, yea right. This person that told me of his infidelities worked for him and said everyone knew, everyone but me, boy do I feel like a fool. Up until today, I was having a hard time getting over him, I still loved him, after all we were married for 25 yrs, let's just say this put closure on it for me and a little hate in there. Not sinful hate, just hate but closure and it's time I move on. He didn't deserve me.

thanks for listening to my non-lap band discussion.[/quote']

My heart goes out to you Donna. What a pig to even bring her to your marital home. It's time to stop wasting feelings in that man, you come across as a beautiful soul.

Years ago when I worked in Hunan Resources my Manager was having an affair with one of the other HR Managers and he wanted his support staff to cover for him when his wife called, I told him flat out refused to be a part of it. One of the other girls made all sorts of excuses till guilt ate at her so one day when his wife called for him she told her everything. No partner deserves to be cheated on, the damage that is done emotional is there for years. If a relationship has run it's course then so be it, it happens, it's part of life, at least show the other person some respect and let them know they no longer want to be a part of the marriage etc.

As hard as it is things will get easier. This is your time to shine, concentrate on your new journey. Let your weightloss give you that confidence boost, let it revive you. You never know what's around the corner. I always go by the motto of positivity brings positive things.

Don't waste anymore emotional energy on him, he proved he isn't worth it.

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

you are right. he did not deserve you.

karma is a mean b**tch i hear....

[m1aman 944]

Donna you are not alone. My wife pulled the same trick on me.... always working late etc. I finally got suspicious and hacked into her email and found all of the love letters. The whole thing was very painful so I know how you felt/feel. Looking back it was the best thing that ever happened to me.... to get the truth out so I could move on with my life. Maybe you don't know it but it is a good thing for you too. Living in a web of lies and deceit just SUCKS. I will keep you in my prayers.

[kll724 3,055]

Sorry Donna! some men are real pigs. But, then so is the woman that they are with!!! i am glad you got closure!

[bar2373 138]

You just wait and see, he will come crawling back before long. I have seen this from experience, they will miss what they had and long for the past and that is when you can stick it in his face.

You are better off without him. A leopard never changes his spots is what is was always told so once a cheater always a cheater. Much love and hugs too you. Hang in there and stay strong, it will eat at him the stronger you are.

[donna12 742]

thank you all so very much for your kind words. I firmly believe all men aren't pigs and someday I will meet someone special. I have faith. I do believe however what goes around comes around, and you reap what you sew, in other words one day he will pay for his transgressions, may not be in this life, ok by now you all can tell yes I am a Christian but someday he will have to answer for his actions.

Didn't mean to vent on a website about my ex to people that was intended for lap band topics, sorry. Thanks for listening.

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

((hugs))

I'm so sorry you had to find out the rest of the ugly details, but I'm glad finding out has finally brought you the closure you not only need but deserve.

And you're totally right- that piece of sh*t doesn't deserve you. You're a wonderful woman with so much to offer.

It takes time but you will heal. I found out my ex was cheating days before giving birth to our son. The trauma of it all actually sent me into labor early, it was horrible. When my son was only 3 weeks old, I left him. I still resent my ex for ruining the birth of my son and leaving me a complete broken wreck with a newborn baby and grade schooler.

But... I did heal. It didn't happen over night but I did. The thing I finally realized was I had to forgive him, not for him, but for me. That bitterness and anger was destroying me from the inside out. And him? It didn't even phase him. It only hurt me.

Ironically, my ex and I are actually very close friends now days. I will always love him like family, but I haven't romantically loved him in years. I'm very happy in my life, in fact I look back now and realize he did me a favor. He didn't deserve me just like your ex didn't deserve you, and by freeing me, I'm now with a wonderful man who does deserve me and I deserve him.

Hang in there, Donna.

[PattyGirl66 1,243]

Donna,

You are such a beautiful woman! Things like this, when they happen only make us stronger! and like CG said, "Karma" is a B***h, well here in Jersey we say "Karma is a M*****F**** - You can fill in the blanks, LOL.

Keep your head up high and stay strong (hugs)

[kazjim98 618]

So sorry Donna, he definitely doesn't deserve you...I can imagine how hard it is after 25 years to let go but I'm so glad you did...Mr wonderful is out there waiting to love and respect you the way you deserve....(((hugs)))

[donna12 742]

aw, thanks guys, you're gona make me cry! Missy I can't imagine having a newborn and going thru that. I wasn't able to have children so there weren't any kids involved in our divorce. Thank you all so very much. My Mr Wonderful is out there waiting for me someday, right?

[laurigee 545]

Donna....how could you look dumb to anyone??? You weren't the one being dishonest, disrespectful, and acting like a fool! You were the one that was trusting, loving, and supportive to a man that didn't deserve your time of day! Everyone deserves to be with someone that is devoted to the marriage and loves their partner. He should be ashamed that he wasted your years with him when you could have been with someone that cherished you the way they should! That is something that makes me so angry with men or women that cheat! They are depriving their spouse of finding that person who will devote themselves to a relationship where 2 people are happy! Everyone deserves this in their lives and I truly think people that prevent this for their partners are selfish and will never know what giving yourself to another and trusting that person with their lives feels like! I don't feel sorry or bad for you, you will find true love, because you now know what it is not! I pity him, and the person he will hook up with in the future, he obviously has nothing in his heart, therefore, he has nothing to give! Stay beautiful and true to yourself and love will come!

[donna12 742]

thank you laurigee, that makes me feel good. Oh he hooked up with the one he had an affair with, they live together and she hates my guts and I've never done anything to her nor have I ever met her, lol. His entire family cannot stand her is the funny thing, she's rude to them and I so hate that for his mother, she was the best mother-in-law a girl could ever had. I'm still in contact with his mom, and his little brother and his family and a few of his nieces. Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom. And yes hopefully someday I will find love again.