How can I get my family to support me?

[MileHighDreamer 8]

Thank everyone on here for your support. Im going tomorrow for my first consultation in San Antonio. So far i've told all my family members but they dont seem to understand. My father said , "well stop eating." What do I need to communicate here ? All my family is overweight. The fact that we are all great cooks doesnt help either.

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

I suspect you'll have a harder time getting their support because they're overweight. Let's face it, misery loves company, and when an entire family is fat they get really jealous of whoever dares step out of that cycle and becomes fit. In time when they see your success, you may inspire them to change too, but at the beginning I fear you're going to have a hard time convincing them.

I've dealt with similar, by the way. My parents, brother, aunts, cousins, etc are almost all some degree of overweight. I've heard it all- how it's the easy way out, how I'll be sick, I'll look awful with saggy skin, I'll look older, etc. You name it and I've heard it. Oh and now that I'm down over 180 pounds? I hear from my own mom "oh great, now I guess I'm the fattest one". As if it's my fault she doesn't lose weight! LOL!

You have to remember you're doing this for you. Like me in the beginning, you may simply have to find your support elsewhere, be it online or at a support group. My family mostly has come around and is supportive these days, but even if they never did I know I made the best decision for me getting the Lap Band.

Hang in there!

[donna12 742]

I tend to agree with Missy. Once they results, they will want to follow.

I too dealt with this to some degree. My brother and his wife were skeptical and to this day do not ask about how I'm doing to my mom or to me and never comment on how they can tell I've lost 54 lbs when they see me. They live in a neighboring state and I only see them maybe once every couple of months and you can tell from my once 294 to 240, especially in my stomach and hips. If I had to guess, I can almost bet that my once very close cousin and my sister-in-law talk about me, topic: oh she took the easy way out, oh she can't do it, oh she will gain it all back, I can just imagine. As I still love these people I cannot focus on the negative, I need to focus on me and my health and I luckily have my mom who supports me in every way and encourages me to the ends of the earth.

I wish you well and hopefully things will get better.

Hugs

Donna

[m1aman 944]

I don't even try to make people understand. They live their life, I live mine. It's just easier that way, for me.

[trouble99 3]

I feel the same way, I have only told a very few people about my surgery, becuase I didnt want to hear all the negative stories. I only did this lab band for my benefit, no one elses and I know that this is NOT a quick fix, it takes time to get the weight off, and you have to use this TOOL to help keep the weight off. Hand in there!!

[CHEZNOEL 4,061]

Might I suggest that take one or more of them with you to the consults and seminars. The more they know about the process, the less fear, uncertainty and doubt (AKA FUD Factor) will cloud their judgement. Buy a book and ask them all to read it. Ask them for their support to help make yourself healthier. Gather statistics about failed diets... 96% fail in the long run, and 94% succeed with Lap Band. Dot write them off yet. Never, Ever Give up! Family is too important!

[MileHighDreamer 8]

Yea I wanted my sister to know about the whole process, inside I was hoping she would also want to get help with her weight. Especially because she has two children. But she told me very honestly, "I love food too much" I hope after I get the band things change.

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

Yea I wanted my sister to know about the whole process, inside I was hoping she would also want to get help with her weight. Especially because she has two children. But she told me very honestly, "I love food too much" I hope after I get the band things change.

You know, I went through very similar with my brother. He was dead set against any kind of bariatric surgery but now he's seriously looking into his options since seeing how my life has changed. He doesn't want the band because he doesn't want to deal with fills, but that's fine with me. I just want him to do *something* so he'll be around to raise my nephews.

Perhaps after your sister sees your success, she'll change her mind too.

[SageTracey 608]

You are right to try and get some family support. It is invaluable on this journey. Can I suggest you just try to get one person on side with you so that they can be your support? then others may or may not follow but you will always have one person to fall back on.

It may help if you can document the issues that your current weight is causing you e.g. hypertension, sleep apnoea, diabetes, arthritis, whatever. and tell them that you need/deserve a better quality of life and that is what you are working towards.

Best of luck.

[donna12 742]

Cheznoel, I couldn't have said it better!