Stuck in a rut

[knitchique 0]

Hi all! I wanted to share some stuff and hopefully get some feedback to inspire me.

I am stuck at 30 pounds lost. I had my first fill in early Feb. and have only lost 3 pounds since then. BUT...and this is a big but...I have been eating crap! I can't seem to stop buying and eating Peanut Butter M&M's, and other bad Snacks. I know I wanted to lose weight so bad that I had surgery, so why can't my unconsious get with the program??

I also have been having problems getting the right kind of foods to go down and stay down. So then I don't eat a bona-fide meal and a little later I am very hungry and I eat a snack, since it is not meal-time. Then at the next meal-time, food gets stuck, or I can't eat. Arrrrgh!

I need encouragement, and some inspiration. I know that reading all the successes on this site should inspire me, and they do, but I need a kick in the pants.

Any ideas on what to satisfy my sweet-tooth, and by the way, it's also the mouth-feel of the chewing and the texture of the bad stuff that I like so much. I don't really want to replace one binge food with another, but I need something guilt-free.

Thanks to you all!

Sheryl

banded 10-06-03

242/212/144

[donali 57]

Hi Sheryl -

It sounds to me like your main problem is that the more nutritious foods you are choosing are "not going down and staying down." It is no surprise that you are turning to less nutritious items to satisfy your hunger and biological need to eat.

If you are unable to eat nutritious foods and get them to go down and stay there, my first response would be that YOU ARE TOO TIGHT.

No one likes to hear that, I know. We still believe in the core of our being that we need to be punished for eating. So we go tighter and tighter until we honestly can't eat much of anything that's good for us, so we turn to the things that we CAN eat, which unfortunately tend to be less nutritious.

Since it is unlikely you are willing to get an unfill ( ), I would recommend that before you resort to your less nutritious choices, mix yourself a tall glass of high quality Protein Drink, perhaps blended with a banana, blended with lots of crushed ice.

I find that I can barely get through one of those (about 32 oz - one of those extremely large plastic drink cups). The freezing temperature of the drink makes me tighter, the banana + artificial sweetener satisfies my sweet tooth, and psychologically I feel like I've done something healthy for myself by getting in a huge dose of Protein. I also mix in my Vitamins with it, so I feel doubly healthy.

For chewing satisfaction I've been looking to sugar-free gum and beef jerkey.

Also make sure that deep down somewhere there isn't the thought that "One day I will never be able to eat this candy again." Please don't ever say that to yourself - IT'S NOT TRUE!! And not necessary. I think your subconscious can agree that you don't really want to live exclusively on these less nutritious choices without feeling you have to give them up completely.

Good luck! Consider a slight unfill. Then go suck down an icy Protein Drink and see if you feel stuffed and satisfied afterwards.

[Vera 7]

I'm struct in a rut too

"Any ideas on what to satisfy my sweet-tooth, and by the way, it's also the mouth-feel of the chewing and the texture of the bad stuff that I like so much. I don't really want to replace one binge food with another, but I need something guilt-free."

So with YA!

The one thing I do know is "I don't eat half as much as I use to....If that

I relate, love your story,.inspiration ...you are:cool:

[knitchique 0]

Thanks Donali and Vera,

You are so kind:cool:

I think my biggest problem is that I have had 37 years of eating too fast and pratically swallowing my food whole. I know that I eat too fast and often my bites are too big. I suppose I could bee too tight, but I only had 1cc put in, and the whole process made me faint, twice.

Last night I was successful in getting a hamburger patty down, the whole thing, with a little help of some stuff called ketchup!

Donali, I think (or do I know) that you have something in your comment that my subconsious is thinking that I may never eat this stuff again. I have fallen for that bull**** every other time I have tried to loose weight, and I am "not pleased" that I have fallen for it again, with the band.

I have read, over and over again, your advice on dealing with emotional hunger, and it is great advice. I just wish I could practice it. I'll try.

Vera, you are a sweetheart to say I'm an inspiration!! I got all teary-eyed. Bless you!

Thanks again to you both!

Sheryl

[donali 57]

Sheryl -

I'm glad I'm not the only fainter on the board!!! lol I fainted at my last fill (fills 1-3 no problem, but fill 4 my port had flipped, so Dr Carmen had to manually manipulate it back upside right which took several minutes and totally creeped me out! :eek: ). I fainted dead away from a standing position with the fill needle hanging out of my port. I suffered a mild concussion from that one. lol But I got my fill!!!!!

I know you know this, but I'm going to say it anyway - the number amount of your fill does not give any indication of how tight that is on any given person. Some people never need a fill at all - their band is tight enough empty! So you can only judge how tight you are by how you're doing with food.

I'm glad you got a burger patty down, and yes, eating too fast, not chewing well enough, and taking too big of bites will not work well with good restriction. These are definitely hard habits to break. I rarely have problems with eating too fast anymore (bite after bite), but I LOVE having my mouth full when eating, so my bites, though smaller than before, and taken at a much slower rate, are still pretty big. The problem that causes is although I chew things very well, my tongue sometimes starts the swallowing process earlier than I intend (because my mouth is too full), and some less chewed pieces accidently get down, OR only really well chewed food gets down, but the swallows are not spaced far enough apart, so too much gets sent down in too short a period of time. I AM working on this...

One thing that really helped me with the eating too fast problem was to not let myself get too hungry. I suggest that you throw away the concept of "mealtimes", and eat a real meal when you are hungry, not a "snack" because it "isn't mealtime". If you are regulated to eating at certain times because of a job or social commitment, be sure to have a little something nutritious when hunger strikes to hold you until you can eat the meal, so you won't be so hungry when you finally do get to eat.

We have been so brainwashed about things - what is acceptable, and what is not. It would be funny, if it weren't so damaging.

For example, prior to banding, if I had just eaten a large meal, and was still hungry, I did not feel it was "okay" to have another entree - because "I just ate." But it would be acceptable for me to have a big dessert, which probably had twice as many calories as an entree. Wouldn't it have been more nutritious for me to have had another entree (which is what I really wanted) than to have a piece of 7 layer chocolate cake with ice cream (which I ordered because I considered it more socially acceptable)?

I think we have to be on guard against these non-sensical social mores, and do what's right for us. Of course, these things are so ingrained that they are hard to see.

Keep practicing the new bandster habits, and best of luck to you. I will also remind everyone that vomiting is the number one cause of band slippage, and it is to be avoided at all costs. Frequent vomiting is NOT normal, and is very damaging to the band and the esophagus. I offer this just for comparison's sake: at one year 2 months, I have vomited no more than ten times, and those times were not spread throughout those 14 months - they were concentrated in two seperate one week periods.

[MeganA 35]

Sheryl and Donali-

I've been struggling with the same exact issues you two talk about. Since I got a good fill with great restriction, I have been eating three meals a day that are the perfect size. But then I lost my mind- somewhere in my brain, I figured if I were eating such small amounts at meals, that meant I could eat all the chocolate, candy, Cookies, chips, etc. that I desired. The worse part of it was that I kept thinking that the band isn't working every time I stepped on the scale and it hadn't moved. DARN BAND! I'd say...

Then it hit me. DUH. Stop eating the crap! Especially at night!

Easier said than done, when, like both of you, I have many, many years of habits to break. So, I'm trying to tackle one habit at a time...and as Dr. Phil says- you have to replace a bad habit with a good one...so- one of my worst snack times was around 3-4 in the afternoon. I'm going walking every day at that time now. If I'm not home, I won't eat. The second habit I'm trying to break is eating at night. I'm a night owl so I'm up until one or so...so I bought peanuts and pistachios in the shell and that's the only snack I can have. I find it takes me so long to open them and it's doing something with my hands, that it takes relatively few to satisfy my need to snack. I hope to phase out any eating after 9 in a few weeks, but this is a nice intermediary.

I have so many more habits I need to break...but it's nice to feel like one or two of them are being replaced. The best part- the scale is moving again.

Donali- I have the same need for a big bite in my mouth...I didn't realize it until you said something. And I've realized that it isn't just the taste of food that I crave...it's the big bite of it AND the swollow. Reprogramming the tongue to not push stuff back until I'm ready :-) is a challenge.

Thanks to both of you for all of your insights. You just never know when something that is an issue for you will touch someone else, too. Thank you thank you!

Megan

[Alexandra 55]

I have nothing to add except to say I love this thread, this board, and all of you. I relate to EVERYTHING everyone has said here, especially this:

Also make sure that deep down somewhere there isn't the thought that "One day I will never be able to eat this candy again." Please don't ever say that to yourself - IT'S NOT TRUE!!

How many times in the past have I given in to an urge only because I swore that TOMORROW I'd give up whatever it was? A million? A billion? And then doing it again the next day? Well no more. Tonight I had some macaroni and cheese for dinner -- it's always been my favorite food and high on the list of forbidden pleasures. But I don't feel guilty about it!! If I want some tomorrow I may have it again. But I probably won't, because tonight's portion was totally satisfying.

It is a hard habit to break, the guilt and self-hate, but I'm certain that once I break that habit the eating habits will be easier to tackle. So I'm working on it!

[tellie 0]

I just love reading you guys! I had been avoiding this place for the last week or so, since i started choking/pbing at every meal. Because i knew I would complain :eek: and I also know it is my fault. I want to eat everything, and eat it fast, and cant really control the swallowing very well either. I was loving the band when nothing got stuck ( of course I lost no weight then either) but this week I have screamed in pain while facing the toilet bowl too many times....so hungry yet 'returning' my food. I have been so angry! Last night I cried because I was so hungry and the grilled fish I desperately wanted got stuck.... and I cried, and hurt and kept going for more like it would somehow fix itself if I kept trying!

was not fun. I was completely irrational.

Now I am not sure if i should have it unfill a little bit before my trip, to be safe, or somehow change habits in one week.... as if

There, I whined.... thanks

tellie

[Alexandra 55]

Tellie, hows about a little tough love? BE CAREFUL!!! Too much PBing and spasming is a big risk factor for a slipped band. You don't want that to happen!!!

Think of your band as something that has to be babied after something like that happens. It is possible to eat solid food like fish and chicken, and you WILL learn how to do it. But you can't just force your band to accommodate bites that are too big or too much for your pouch. That's what your esophagus is objecting to. Eat slowly, CHEW WELL, and when you feel that first indication that you are heading for a painful experience, STOP!

Please don't take chances, and be good to yourself. I wouldn't suggest an unfill at this point if you know you're testing the band yourself. Try to work with it, not against it, ane enjoy your trip!! :eek:

[MeganA 35]

Tellie-

I second what Alexandra said. I did the same exact thing you are doing for a week- and I ended up so swollen that Water and even soft foods hurt. I ended up going in to see if the band had slipped, it hurt so badly. Whatever you do, try try try to not keep eating after you PB. You may want to switch to full liquids for a few days and see if that helps- I would bet you are swollen and irritated. Pretend that you just got banded again- have some full liquids for a day or so, then pureed, then soft foods and see if by the time you get to real foods- you can actually handle your grilled fish if you take it slowly.

I know it's easier said than done...because I've been the one with a hungry stomach and wonderful food on my plate that I can't eat. This is what I figured out...if I tell myself I can eat it later, and I put it into the fridge, I don't feel so deprived. Then I try to find something else to do for awhile so I think of something else.

I also try to change my thinking- saying things like "This band is my friend. It's helping me see that I need to slow down and be more careful with myself" instead of "Darn band I hate you-you stink". Or changing "I'll never be able to eat anything good again" to "I have chosen to change my eating habits. The band is just reminding me of my longterm commitment. I can eat whatever I want. I just have to take tiny bites and feel how each bite goes down before I fill my mouth with another one. I can do this...and it feels good to know I'm commited to something".

I still have times of challenge- I can't eat french fries any more and it makes me really sad. For a while I kept trying...I'd buy a small fry with my nuggets or eat a few off of someone else's plate to see if they would work. I've had to give them up completely because now I don't associate them with yummy- I associate them with OUCH!!!!!

Anyone who says that weightloss surgery is easy should read this board for a week. This is hard, but we are worth the effort.

Megan

[tellie 0]

Thank you Alexandra, Megan....

Thanks for the advise. The first few weeks after surgery I was so scared of something going wrong and having to have surgery again, and then i just lost sight of priorities. I have decided to go on soft diet for a while, since eating solids when I am so stressed ( hate flying ( phobia), dread flying with a 2 year old, terrified of separating my child from her dad for 5 weeks when she cant fall asleep if he is not home... and then the stuff in spain doesn't help the paranoia.), is just not going to work. I binge when I am stressed, before the band I lost track of what or how or when I ate under stress; now I only realize what i did when it starts hurting or is stuck.... I even drink so fast that Water comes back or stays in the esophagus for a while! Its like I forgot that I knew that eating this way could have really bad consecuences....

I appreciate the reminder... I will be careful.

Thank you

tellie

[Alexandra 55]

I also try to change my thinking- saying things like "This band is my friend. It's helping me see that I need to slow down and be more careful with myself" instead of "Darn band I hate you-you stink". Or changing "I'll never be able to eat anything good again" to "I have chosen to change my eating habits. The band is just reminding me of my longterm commitment. I can eat whatever I want. I just have to take tiny bites and feel how each bite goes down before I fill my mouth with another one. I can do this...and it feels good to know I'm commited to something".

This is the quote of the month! Thank you for reminding us of the RIGHT way to think. I'm cutting this out and sticking it in my wallet!! :eek: