Negative Talk from family and friends

[Wilona 33]

Hello this is my first post and i been reading everyone post all week long and this has really help me to make up my mind on getting the lap band and i cant wait to start my journey!! My name is Wilona I am 26. I am married with two beautiful girls ages 6 and 4. I have been reading information about the lap band for a year now and am ready but the only thing is the my family and friends dont support my decision. The only person who supports me is my husband and i really dont think he want me to have this procedure done. I will be paying for my surgery out of pocket without the help of no one. Its depressing when you don't have your family and friends support. I know that this surgery will help me with my weight loss and I plan on getting the lap band with or without anyone support. I realize that its my health and my money that I work hard for. I plan on going to a seminar on 2/12. I AM SO EXCITED!!!

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

It's very hard when we don't have the support from those close to us. However, the fact your husband is being supportive is a biggie. Perhaps the others will come around once they realize they're not going to change your mind. If nothing else, I'm sure they will after you have the surgery and they see you getting healthier.

As long as you've educated yourself on the band and fully understand what you need to do to be successful with it, I say go for it. Do what you know to be best for you. It's not your job to please everyone around you.

Best wishes on your journey!

[NJDanielle27 76]

Hi Wilona - why aren't your friends and family supportive? What are their reasons? It may be as simple as they are not educated on the lapband and/or have false information. It isn't your job to please others but you also don't want to feel alone. I personally have not told many people about my surgery (having it done a week from today!) because I didn't want to hear negativity. I did tell my family and my boyfriend, who with the right information became supportive.

[bar2373 138]

I have found most people (family and friends) object because they don't have the proper information. They are uneducated on the topic.

People only remember the horror stories they have seen and heard, so they are only going to think negative. Learn as much as you can about the lapband and slowly educate them about it. Once they see how well you do with it and how healthy you will be they will be there for you.

If not, my theory is they weren't not your friend or loved you to begin with.

[Spaness2012 609]

It took awhile for my family to understand the decision and how the band works. They were mostly nervous about the surgery but I have educated them in all aspects and they are now very supportive. The line I use the most is when someone says, "surgery is dangerous", I say "so is being obese-I have a chance at a tool that can change my health and I intend to use it." Good luck....they will start coming around.

[dfav3412 116]

Wilona, see if you can take your hubs with you to the seminar. If he somewhat supports you now it would be good for him to listen and learn. Maybe even take your mom or whoever

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

the ones i have found to be the most vocal against are the ones who have no idea what the band is or how it works and also the ones who divert from their dr's orders after surgery (ones who want a quick solve)

you do this for you

like you i got me a supportive rock who has been with me each step, each pound, pity party of the way. thats all you need besides your want to power deep inside. and some great support people on this forum.

proud of you for making this decision.

[Wilona 33]

I really dont know why my friends are not happy for me. I know we all are having trouble with our weight. I am the only one who chosen to do surgery. My family think that its cost to much but I dont think so. I feel that if I have the money. I have tried and tired to explain it to them and I am tired of all the negative talk.I am just going to get the surgery and let no one know but my husband.

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

I really dont know why my friends are not happy for me. I know we all are having trouble with our weight. I am the only one who chosen to do surgery. My family think that its cost to much but I dont think so. I feel that if I have the money. I have tried and tired to explain it to them and I am tired of all the negative talk.I am just going to get the surgery and let no one know but my husband.

could be they are jealous as you have decided to do something about it.....good for you

now work it girl

[sapcat54 76]

I kept it quiet from everyone except my husband who fully supported me until I got a surgery date. I have 3 daughters in their 30's 2 are very supportive but my oldest flipped out at me. It's funny when I was telling 2 of them at a christmas tea at my youngest girls church, while my oldest was going off on all the horror stories my youngest daughter grabed a lady from her church who had the band and lost over 200 lbs. She hugged me during my oldest girl's rant and told me it was the best thing she ever done. It's so strange that my oldest would be upset about the band when she was doing some strange cleansing that took all metal good and bad out of her body and she was sick for months. Everyone else I told are very supportive and say they can see the differance in my face even after a little over 2 weeks. Good Luck My prayers for you.

[Wilona 33]

I really didnt want to think that they are jealous but deep down I believe they are. The bad part I always support them when they do things. I would like to thank you all for sharing your story. Thanks

[LeeB1946 261]

I really dont know why my friends are not happy for me. I know we all are having trouble with our weight. I am the only one who chosen to do surgery. My family think that its cost to much but I dont think so. I feel that if I have the money. I have tried and tired to explain it to them and I am tired of all the negative talk.I am just going to get the surgery and let no one know but my husband.

Some will come along with you and others, for whatever reason won't, but do the surgery for you and then they will see the difference. Best of luck.