How do you respond to people who say "You're Not big enough to need surgery?"

[dolphintattoo 96]

A few people I have shared my decision with have said this to me. I apparently "carry" my weight well because even the pcyscologist at my surgeon's office told me he was surprised by my weight, I don't look like I weigh almost 300lbs.

My MIL was down right shocked I had made the decision, of course she herself is likely pushing 300lbs and has never been on a diet in her life. I just told her I wanted to have better control over my health and this was something I needed.

[m1aman 944]

I know how you feel. I never looked like I weighed 388 pounds (at my peak) and most people were very surprised at how well I got around as I was pretty agile for a fat guy. I'm sure everyone agreed I needed to lose weight but maybe felt it wasn't manly to have surgery. Oh well, only I know how terrible I felt and how many times I had tried and failed to lose weight on my own.

[Kime-lou 648]

I heard that one several times and I told them that was a matter of opinion. I felt and my surgeon felt that lapband would help me shed pounds and become healthier and that was enough for me.

[Kekeboo 47]

I have heard the same, but its not always all about the weight. I had back surgery 2 years ago, degenerative disc disease, RA and fibromyalgia....this was all considered when I went in for my first consult with my doctore and my surgeon. As an overweight person I was constantly scrutinized for my choice in the lap band, those people don't understand what it's like living in a sick body with weight issues. Or maybe they do and they were just jealous that they didn't have the confidence or courage to make the decision I did. Poeple of substance abuse get help and they are praised for it, why are we not seen in the same category. It's an addiction and we had the courage to say "I need help". Stand proud about your decision, be confident and know that it took courage to admit you needed help.

I am a proud bandster!! I wake up and know that I made a choice to live and live healthy. If that offends someone....too bad.

[Sharpie 3,306]

I was really shocked by the nurse who escorted me to surgery.. she said "wow they must have lowered the bmi requirements for this surgery".. you don't look that overweight.. I said well @ 5' tall and nearly 200 lbs. how fat do I need to be? I guess to some , I didn't look that big but I can tell you I felt it.. my knees and back hurt constantly... could not walk around the house without feeling winded... my diabetes was getting worse and my blood pressure stayed high..so regardless of what other people think your decision is what you feel is right for your future health and well being.. I had my surgery 1 week ago ,, there were a few rough days, but 18 lbs. downn and getting better everyday is worth it.. I know I didn't want to get any fatter... I told my friends and family it was for my health.. and a tad bit vanity.. I'm tired of wearing big ugly clothes... can't wait to shop til I drop...lol

[cheryl2586 3,053]

The day I had surgery the nurse that took care of me even said you are not that big why didnt you just do it yourself. Ummmmm 287lbs of anything is big. I was big, still feel big even though I am 166 but I am less big then I was then lol. Tell them it is your decision and no one else's. They are probably just mad because they didn't think of it first lol

[Terry Poperszky 2,784]

A few people I have shared my decision with have said this to me. I apparently "carry" my weight well because even the pcyscologist at my surgeon's office told me he was surprised by my weight, I don't look like I weigh almost 300lbs.

My MIL was down right shocked I had made the decision, of course she herself is likely pushing 300lbs and has never been on a diet in her life. I just told her I wanted to have better control over my health and this was something I needed.

My weight was proportional as well and many people were shocked to find out that I had been morbidly obese for as long as they had known me. Thing is, proportional or not, the risks are the same. I have had two knee replacements because I have been an active fat man all my life. I am drawing the line, there. I am keeping my hips

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

A few people I have shared my decision with have said this to me. I apparently "carry" my weight well because even the pcyscologist at my surgeon's office told me he was surprised by my weight, I don't look like I weigh almost 300lbs.

My MIL was down right shocked I had made the decision, of course she herself is likely pushing 300lbs and has never been on a diet in her life. I just told her I wanted to have better control over my health and this was something I needed.

say thank you and realize you are making your self well and that is what matters. i was as tall as i was wide so that would not ever be said to me..dagnumit.

[FLORIDAYS 3,040]

A few people I have shared my decision with have said this to me. I apparently "carry" my weight well because even the pcyscologist at my surgeon's office told me he was surprised by my weight, I don't look like I weigh almost 300lbs.

My MIL was down right shocked I had made the decision, of course she herself is likely pushing 300lbs and has never been on a diet in her life. I just told her I wanted to have better control over my health and this was something I needed.

I carried my 377 lbs well too... and if I didnt do something about it I was going to carry it to my grave....

My response to people who told me why I shouldnt have surgery was ... Thank you for your opinion. I appreciate it.

I didnt argue with them or try to change their minds... I just listened to what they said and moved on.

[PattyGirl66 1,243]

I think the majority here can vouch for not having looked like we weighed that much. I am one of those too! even now at my weight I don't look like I would weight this much, but I do and the scale doesn't lie!

1 hip replaced already, the other one needs to be replaced, high blood pressure (controlled), yea, so even though I might not looked like I weighed a lot, the weight was deteriorating my insides/joints.

I am keeping my knees, LOL

[Krista74 7]

A co-worker of mine told me the other day that she didn't think I needed the surgery. A friend of mine has been telling me he doesn't think I'm a good candidate because I "didn't give diet and exercise enough of a chance." Boy! I have shed 30,40,50 lbs before and it all comes back because after a few months of diligent diet/exercise I get tired of being hungry all the time. That's why I've made my decision to get the lap band, I'm hoping that it will keep the hungry horrors away and give me the strength to get to a healthy weight. That's exactly why most of us are doing this, we want to be healthy! For me, even though some people think I look fine, 246lbs is not healthy. Good luck on your journey!

[DidThis4Me 26]

I just confided in a relative yesterday about what I had done, and this is EXACTLY what she said to me (You're not big enough to need surgery)! She struggles with her weight too but isn't 100 pounds overweight. Also, diet pills still work for her, so that's what she's doing to control her weight. I gave those up a while back for health reasons.

I was immediately sorry that I had confided in her, since she actually had quite a few negative comments. I politely explained to her that at 5'1 (on a good day) and 230 pounds (a few weeks before surgery), I was more than 100 pounds overweight and was morbidly obese, even if I didn't look like it. Also, since my insurance paid for it, they must have agreed that I needed it. Anwyay, I am happy with my decision.

[R-Sheryl 7]

All of my life I have looked like I weighed less than I actually did. I have memories as a 6th grader going in for a checkup before entering Mid School and the nurse putting me on the scale twice because I didn't look like I was 130 pounds then.

What I've told people is that while I look good with the weight I'm carrying, I'm more worried about the weight and diabetes (its on both sides of my family), heart problems which were in all of my grandparents, and just losing the energy to exercise.

[LeanMeanFightinMachine 38]

Hello! I'm glad to see this topic on here as I've been struggling with the issue, among the others in my contemplating of banding. I am 5.1" and now over 200lbs. I carry my weight very well, (all over stocky type figure) and have been told repeatedly how I " don't look that heavy." My mother has had the surgery and it helped her a great deal. My conditions include fibromyalgia, degenerative discs in neck, back and a previous lower back injury. My knees have always been a problem even at a low weight. I have BMI at 36. It's right at that level where people say, you aren't heavy enough to consider this option, but as someone who has fought the mighty wave of weight gain since early childhood I disagree. I have been gaining since after the birth of my child and had a hysterectomy in 2010. Since then, it's been almost impossible to lose a pound. I have tried every diet, weight loss idea on planet earth. I am still always consistently 50lbs+ overweight which is obese. I believe it's a matter if time before more serious health problems. Am I to wait for that? Any thoughts or encouragement is appreciated.

[CatLady0626 45]

I think some people think they are complimenting us when they say this. Many times, these people have never struggled the way we have with weight so they don't know how to respond. Maybe they think the only other way to respond is, "good choice! You sure can use WLS!" I know that i would rather hear the other one! Lol