Sorry to wear these boards out with posts

[klr2012 13]

But I need to vent! I only told my hubby, sister and mom about the band. I didn't tell my hubby's immediate family because I didn't think they would be supportive. So my husband totally put a guilt trip on me to tell his parents and siblings by saying it hurts his feelings that I don't trust his family. After some discussion I finally decided to tell his family and their reaction was exactly what I expected. They all started telling me about someone they knew that had the band and failed. So now I just feel angry that I let my husband guilt me into telling them. I need positive feedback and support, not horror stories.

[catfish87 3,471]

Positive feedback:

Nothing squelches (sp?) the naysayers like a winner. You show them, and watch them eat crow while your the winner and smiling!

[shrinkingfatchick85 8]

You will always have people that will be discouraging. I have found in the last 18 months that it comes from people you least expect but if you want to succeed you will. Don't let the Debbie downers get you discourage! I started this journey at 354 and am now and 233. I still have weight to lose but I wouldn't change my decision for anything. The band has been a fantastic tool to assist me in this journey. You will find people who are quick to say 'WLS is the easy way out' but those people don't understand that WLS is not a quick fix. It is a tool just like weight watchers or a gym membership. Those people who fail usually fail because of the mental game that goes into this journey. You can so do this!!!

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

i find people who dont know about the band or understand exactly what it is, are the ones who are most vocal......along with the ones who do not use it correctly.

this is your life

this is about you

and in the words of my bad a** biker hub in regards to anyone

who doesnt like what he says or does.. f*** em

as catfish said, make them eat crow

[2muchfun 8,927]

About 1/3 of people in the U.S. are obese. Let's throw out children. So, maybe 70 million are obese? Maybe 350,000 have had the lapband? So, for every person in the U.S. who has a band, there are 200 people who have failed to lose weight by dieting? Very rough stats of course, but I'd say the stats are on your side? tmf

[hely88 883]

I agree with everyone else. You have chosen to change your life into a better one. Don't worry about other people. When they see you embracing the band and losing I bet they will change their tone and become more supportive. Either way this is your journey! Best of luck!

[Maddysgram 6,159]

I like what everyone elsed posted and thought I would add another thought.

Tell hub since he insisted you tell his family, he needs to tell them that the only way they can help you, is give positive support or say nothing at all.

When they start asking how much you have lost, tell them the Dr asked that you don't weigh yourself between visits and only share what you want to share.

(((((((hugs)))))

[Terry Poperszky 2,784]

But I need to vent! I only told my hubby, sister and mom about the band. I didn't tell my hubby's immediate family because I didn't think they would be supportive. So my husband totally put a guilt trip on me to tell his parents and siblings by saying it hurts his feelings that I don't trust his family. After some discussion I finally decided to tell his family and their reaction was exactly what I expected. They all started telling me about someone they knew that had the band and failed. So now I just feel angry that I let my husband guilt me into telling them. I need positive feedback and support, not horror stories.

Two thought occur to me.

1. Was your husband present? After he pressured you into telling, please don't tell me he didn't stand up for you and tell them to sit down and shut up.

2. Why did you let them? It is a false since of politeness that has you stand by and let other people be rude to you. A simple, "thank you, but I have done all the research and this is my decision. Shall we talk about something else, or do you have to leave now" works just fine.

[Banjo257 920]

Are they overweight?

Yes, then they are jealous and rude

No, then they are ignorant and rude

But you rock!!!!!!!

[klr2012 13]

Thanks for all the wonderful and supportive comments! I needed to heard this, seriously.

My husband was there when I told his family but he didn't say a word. Instead, he was silent while they grilled me on why I chose to have lapband. That is the exact convo I did not want to have because It's my choice!

AND the 1st question they asked was how much weight I have lost so far. I used to be very thin and obsessed with scales weighing myself 3 times a day so I hate being asked how much I weigh. I responded by saying that my dr wants me to wait 8 weeks before weighing myself.

Needless to say, things are rather tense with my hubby rt now because I am so upset with him and his family. Not to mention, I now also feel stressed to produce good results to prove them wrong.

[FLORIDAYS 3,040]

Don't be stressed with your hubby. He no doubt was being insensitive but what is done is done. Who cares what anyone thinks ? If I were you I would pick the right time and thank him for his support and tell him how much you love him. He is most likely feeling like your focus is all about the band and he may be feeling a little lost....find your calm and relax.... Words don't matter. Results do.

[CHEZNOEL 4,061]

Floridays is right. No added stress or angst will help. I will tell you that I know the horrible feelings you are having. I told only my immediate family, husband and two daughters. On of my daugters was worried for me with the surgery, but now is very supportive. The other spend hours trying to talk me out of it and finished in a huff saying, "well I won't say any more or ask any questions since it obvious you don't appreciate my feelings." So yes, I have been where you are now. I have been successful, but my older daughter has never acknowledged it at all. I have learned to live with it. It was my choice to make, and my life to improve. I do recommend you mend fences with your hubby, but his family could be a lost cause. Stick with your program, and they will eventually see your success, but may never acknowledge it. Sorry to say that, but is is a possible outcome.

I am proud of you trying to make you hubby happy. He is probably very confused about what to do now. Talking solves many problems.