Why is she being so mean to me?

[CHEZNOEL 4,061]

Wonderful words from a wonderful lady!

[Jean McMillan 2,973]

Being a prisoner to every comment someone makes about you, your decisions, or your body is no way to live.

You are so right!

[doxiegirl 3]

I'm a newbie but I will say that I do suffer from Bipolar 1 disorder. The meds are a partial cause of my weight gain. And I too was forced to take that little vacation a few years ago. I am not allowed to answer the phone at work,as I am told that I am rude to clients. I have very strong feelings about the things most important to me and I have only been banded two weeks now and someone is already trying to jeopardize my success out of pure jealousy.....I just have to keep in mind it's just jealousy.

[Summerrain 520]

I totally agree with your post and I'm one of those people that if I ask for advice I want the truth not answers wrapped in cotton balls but that being said when it comes to online forums, not just this one, I think we need to be careful how we respond at times because we don't know the person or their mental state. Sometimes a person can be so depressed that one wrong word or reply can send them over the edge. It's hard to read the tone sometimes and words can come across as harsh but not intended that way.

I know personally I can never be rude when responding to posts in forums, I am honest but I'm careful with my words in case the person takes them to heart which can at times do more damage. We aren't all the same mentally or emotionally, some of us are stronger than others, some of us have been through a lot which can either make us stronger or weaker.

I know from personal experience when I was in full blown depression mode my friends that were tough but not rude are the ones that made a positive impact on me and because of them I climbed out of that dark abyss I lived in for a few years. The ones that just said things for the sake of babbling are the ones that are no longer in my life and good riddance to them. Those are the ones that made me feel worse about my depression.

So I say to all when you type a response online whether it be this forum or other forums reread your posts a few times and be mindful of the words we choose to respond with.

Firm advice goes a lot further than rude advice.

[doxiegirl 3]

I totally agree,I would never be rude or mean on a forum or text because you never know what that person is feeling in the moment. I personally have had many days ruined by someone that at the time I was in a fragile state and took it to heart

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

I totally agree,I would never be rude or mean on a forum or text because you never know what that person is feeling in the moment. I personally have had many days ruined by someone that at the time I was in a fragile state and took it to heart

me also and more than once here lately...

[BayougirlMrsS 3,933]

Me, too. I think that's true of a lot of obese people, because we've been seeing, hearing, and feeling criticism from others for a long time, and because we tend to handle that stuff by eating rather than by reacting with anger.

This is why i respect you and your opinion so very much. I still look in the mirror and see the "fat" girl sometimes. Sometimes i see me.... Christmas shopping, i was passing a mirror and caught sight of me, they way i think others see me now.... and i started crying because, i thought, wow... that's me right there... and that me is skinny and healthy... How come i don't see her all the time? Then thought..... hummm must be the mirror.... Now how can i rip it off the wall and take it with me..... lol When i look in the mirror at my face i now see all the wrinkle and line that a "fat" girl face never showed. My husband has threaten to take down all the mirrors because he hears me say.... look at this wrinkle, at this cellulite... at these stretch marks... He says... Stop chris, stop you look great.

Well, Except for the time he told me i was starting to look like a bag of bones... (he thought it was a compliment)... men.

[Jean McMillan 2,973]

This is why i respect you and your opinion so very much. I still look in the mirror and see the "fat" girl sometimes. Sometimes i see me.... Christmas shopping, i was passing a mirror and caught sight of me, they way i think others see me now.... and i started crying because, i thought, wow... that's me right there... and that me is skinny and healthy... How come i don't see her all the time? Then thought..... hummm must be the mirror.... Now how can i rip it off the wall and take it with me..... lol When i look in the mirror at my face i now see all the wrinkle and line that a "fat" girl face never showed. My husband has threaten to take down all the mirrors because he hears me say.... look at this wrinkle, at this cellulite... at these stretch marks... He says... Stop chris, stop you look great.

Well, Except for the time he told me i was starting to look like a bag of bones... (he thought it was a compliment)... men.

You've described what I call the Funhouse Mirror Effect. You can read an article about that here: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/page/index.html/_/support/the-funhouse-mirror-effect-r93

I got to my goal weight in September 2008 - almost 4-1/2 years ago - but my brain still has a hard time catching up with all the changes in my body. Sometimes I catch sight of my reflection in a window and think, "Wow, she looks really familiar. Where do I know her from?" and moments later realize that woman is me. Sometimes at work (full length mirrors everywhere you turn), I see myself in the mirror and think my reflection is a customer walking up to me. It's very startling, especially when I figure out it was an illusion. The mental and emotional WLS journey takes longer than the physical one. For me, anyway.

[Peaceful1 110]

I noticed people are rude on here quite often, hence I don't participate as much as I used too.

[BayougirlMrsS 3,933]

You've described what I call the Funhouse Mirror Effect. You can read an article about that here: http://www.lapbandta...rror-effect-r93

I got to my goal weight in September 2008 - almost 4-1/2 years ago - but my brain still has a hard time catching up with all the changes in my body. Sometimes I catch sight of my reflection in a window and think, "Wow, she looks really familiar. Where do I know her from?" and moments later realize that woman is me. Sometimes at work (full length mirrors everywhere you turn), I see myself in the mirror and think my reflection is a customer walking up to me. It's very startling, especially when I figure out it was an illusion. The mental and emotional WLS journey takes longer than the physical one. For me, anyway.

Funny how our mind plays tricks on us.... When i was bigger I didn't see that either. Crazy i know.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Nine dogs?

P.S. Great article.

[Jean McMillan 2,973]

Yup. Nine dogs. Or rather, nine who come into the house, and three who are outside dogs (who have comfy condos in our garage), for a total of twelve. And three cats. All of those critters are rescues. We live out in the country where people discard puppies and kittens like so much garbage, and we don't have the heart to let them starve.