21- telling friends and living my normal life

[Mlhutz625 9]

My date is fast approaching (1/10/12).. and as I started my Pre-op diet I am feeling a little sad. I see my friends going out eating drinking doing our normal thursay-saturday routine. I haven't gone out because I am scared I will cheat they have noticed my weight loss and I have told them I just want to be healthier .. some encourage me others don't pay much attention. It may be odd but I don't like when someone points out my weight loss in front of other.. I almost feel ashamed! IS THIS NORMAL!? How can I go about tell my encour aging frineds what is going on because to be honest I don't think I can keep up with them afterwards!! Will I ever live that "normal" 21 year old life?! I keep telling myself I am getting something well worth it in return, just getting some jitters I think!! Any advice would be very helpful!!

[cheryl2586 3,053]

Life isnt about food and drinking anymore. Its about spending quality time with your friends and family inspite of eating. There is so much to life besides eating and for once you will be able to enjoy it. You still can have your friends but don't associate your friends with food anymore.

[zinhaa 363]

It maybe how you are looking at it. Just because your 21 doesn't mean your life is defined by eating and drinking. You can drink Water or ice tea. there are also many more options in eating these days. You can also suggest other activities to do. You you go out drinking look for places that have dancing too. Can't eat and dace at the same time.

If they don't understand explain to them this is your new lifestyle and to stay healthy you need to change the routine a bit.

Wendy

[2muchfun 8,927]

Your post reminded me of a post I like to refer to. Here it is again. This is by another bandster on another forum and I'm sorry but I don't recall the name.

"In my case, the most fearful thing I had to do in order to succeed with my band wasn't switching to skim milk, surviving a liquid diet, or giving up bread. The most fearful thing was giving up my emotional attachment to food. In the nearly 5 years since I was banded, I've made a lot of progress with that, but the attachment is still there. It forms one of the innermost layers of my turtle shell. Working on that layer will probably be a lifetime job for me. At times I'm not even sure I truly want to get rid of it altogether. At times I'm afraid that if I shed my shell completely, I won't be able to survive. On the other hand, I seem to be doing fine without that thick old b***h layer. So I'm going to pay attention to my dreams rather than my fears and pray for a miracle. And why not? It can't hurt to try!"

Another reminder came from another forum member, PinkDahlia. She said: "I'm so stinkin' thrilled with my weight loss i dont even care about what i cant eat!"

tmf

[Sheylbe 1]

My date is fast approaching (1/10/12).. and as I started my Pre-op diet I am feeling a little sad. I see my friends going out eating drinking doing our normal thursay-saturday routine. I haven't gone out because I am scared I will cheat they have noticed my weight loss and I have told them I just want to be healthier .. some encourage me others don't pay much attention. It may be odd but I don't like when someone points out my weight loss in front of other.. I almost feel ashamed! IS THIS NORMAL!? How can I go about tell my encour aging frineds what is going on because to be honest I don't think I can keep up with them afterwards!! Will I ever live that "normal" 21 year old life?! I keep telling myself I am getting something well worth it in return' date=' just getting some jitters I think!! Any advice would be very helpful!![/quote']

Im 20 & just got surgery just over a week ago! How are you doing? I hope that everything is going well for you!

[BayougirlMrsS 3,935]

It's so encouraging to see Young people taking control of their lives.... So happy that the two of you are doing just that.

If i may make a suggestion... I would tell NO ONE... Simply say, this is a new year and a new Life. I'm going to eat better and exercise.

I find even if you tell one person, especially women, that's it. It's all over. NOT even your best friend. Women love to gossip and talk about other women. I would only tell the person that will bring you to and from the hospital.

They will start to watch everything you eat and do.... Are you supposed to have that? Shouldn't you being doing this?....

I recently sent this to another person, and adjusted it to you, hope you don't mind:

You have to keep focused on you.... not your family or friends... they will start to sabotage you... Your thinking... but my family and friends want me to be healthy... True for the most part..... i'm guessing most, but not all of your friends are Fat too... lets be honest, we run in hordes .. lol but there is always that one skinny friend... she loves hanging with you all because, she's the skinny one and get all the attention.... But wait till you start becoming thin... she will start saying things like.. eat one bite, it won't hurt ya...don't go to the gym today.. lets go eat out... You are now competing for attention... she will not like that one bit. You fat friends won't like it either... your no longer "one of them". They will do that same things "skinny b***h" will do because they want to keep fat YOU around... You will also become a reminder of their failures that they are still fat and no matter how happy they pretend to be for you... deep inside, they will be green with envy. You will find out who your True friends are... they are the ones that keep encouraging you the entire way.. the ones that say.. hey after you work out, want to go have coffee... or ask you to help them take control the way you have. they are the At-a-boy givers... they will rise to the surface... Parents and siblings are the big supporters.... unless they are big too... Dads and brothers are the best, they are a great support team. Better than moms and sisters. Moms and sisters sometimes don't know how to handle the new person. My mom said... Chris your getting too thin don't you think.... My brothers wife (she had lb a year before me) stop visiting. She lost only 20lb when she had it done. I was a reminder of her failure..... Un known to me, he had said... Look at my sister, she looks great, why can't you lose weight like she did.... Of coarse i chewed his ass for saying that... but, it true... she could have if she had made the commitment to do so. She just had the Bypass done and so far she is doing great. Im happy for her.