Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Wow, Dad can't stand fat people



Recommended Posts

For starters, I'm 56 and my father, bless him, is 96 so his opinions shaped me-literally- a long time ago. I've always known he wanted everyone around him to be slender but I had no idea till tonight how strongly he felt. We were discussing NJ's Governor Christie and my father commented that while he liked Christie he would never vote for him. I thought it was because Christie is republican. Nope, my father said how could anyone respect someone who was so fat, and if he (Christie) couldn't control what he put in his mouth how could he control anything. I was rather speechless, I'm not going to try to educate, or change, someone at 96 years of age, but it really makes me realize that weight really is his issue imposed on me. It validates how awful my visits were for me when I was really fat, and that while he loves me his attitude sure hasn't helped me. It also dawned on me that when I was 'fat' as a teenager and young adult I really wasn't!! I just calculated my bmi from then and it was 22.3! And I would have told you I was fat back then, and meant it. Just goes to show how we can alway learn from our past. I love him with all my heart but man, did he do number on me!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not as important as a parent, but my godmother/aunt told me I would never have friends, no one hangs out with fat people. I wasnt fat when she first started her mantra, but I self fullfilled that prophecy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That is truly sad and I'm really sorry. But like you said , there ain't no changing him now.

I'm glad you were able to learn something from this, and you even have given us much thought by telling this story. What comes to my mind right away is " don't judge a book by it's cover"& "judge not and ye shall not be judge".

May we all look at others differences and accept them for who they are and not by their outward appearances.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My father has made comments a little like that in the past. Right now I am the apple of his eye because I am again slender... But I still remember the comments and still makes about my niece and step sister. The only thing weight can change in a person is there health and appearance. They are still going to be the same person on the inside... And even then you can still have health issues as a skinny person and be unattractive as a skinny person...

It's amazing how people think!!! Sorry you had to hear that and no you won't change him, so just take what he says in one ear and out the other!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

comments my mother made to me (about me being fat at 10 yrs old even when i was a peewee cheerleader and a gymnast) and then even in high school in cheering....it haunts me to this day at 47 yrs old.....i hear her often especially when i get down..

i find that peope who love to point fingers have 4 more pointing back at them...shame on anyone who is intentionally cruel...this is why i am a compassionate person now as i know how it feels to be judged...

big hugs from north carolina

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's amazing the comments we remember. I heard an elementary teacher tell another student that I would have a hard time having having children if I didn't lose weight!?!? It haunted me for years...until my three beautiful children came along - no problem.

I can tell you the person's names, the place and time they asked, "when are you due?" I would never ask someone that unless they told me directly they were pregnant. Whew...don't like going down that memory lane.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LadyVeteran1

      Sleeve surgery is on April 14th.  I am counting the days!!  Can't wait!
      · 2 replies
      1. Brookie2shoes

        Me too girl!! Are you in the full liquid diet right now? It’s sooooo hard!

      2. LadyVeteran1

        Not yet. I was told I only have to do 24 hours of a liquid diet. But I have my pre-op tomorrow so I’m going to confirm if I need to do longer.

    • buildabetteranna

      Down 33 lbs and slightly stalled, but I'm gonna reevaluate and push through. I started back to work last week after 2 years of being disabled due to mental health as well as my weight. It's a great job and I'm just so happy to have this opportunity at a second chance at life. Hope everyone is having their best journey ❤️ Together, we got this!
      · 2 replies
      1. DaisyChainOz

        Great work Anna! Keep it up 😁

      2. buildabetteranna

        Thank you ❤️

    • Bashbee91

      Hey guys new to the process looking forward to this new life. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Bugg

      Hi everyone! I’m brand new here. I just went through all my pre-op requirements per my insurance company and now everything has been submitted and I’m just waiting for final approval and my surgery date. I’ve been doing research, watching YouTube videos, TikTok’s, ect.. trying to prepare my mind and what to expect so I’ll be ready for the surgery. I was so sure and so set and so ready and excited. However, now that I’ve done everything & it’s almost here, I am sooooooo scared! I know why I want it bc I’ve tried everything and I just don’t feel like I can lose weight by myself. I’m tired of being overweight my entire life. I’m miserable, but I keep psyching myself out afraid of GERD bc I know how that can be and I don’t want to have to get a bypass after already gaining the courage to even get VSG. I’m scared of complications like I’mgoing to regret doing it and be depressed that I didn’t just be more disciplined and try again to lose the weight on my own even sitting here typing this knowing in my mind i just can’t and don’t possess the discipline. I’m also afraid I won’t be able to handle the restrictions of the sleeve. What do I eat? I don’t know how to eat healthy really and don’t enjoy healthy food. I don’t know how to do this! I feel so defeated!Someone tell me they felt anything similar to this or am I not ready? I thought I was. I am so tired of being sick and tired and so tired of myself and so tired of being stuck and stuck in this body and somebody different on the outside from what I feel inside. I just want to ball up and cry.
      · 1 reply
      1. stevieoriole

        Am feeling this right now. My surgery date is 4/1. Sign the consent tomorrow. I feel like I overloaded myself with too much info, too many opinions. Got to the point where I was wondering if I should do this. Then I thought of my reasons for taking this step and that settled my nerves. Still get moments of doubt but am striving forward. Am just going to follow my book from the surgeon. Joined this because I was told by my dietician that I should do this for support

    • buildabetteranna

      over 20 lbs down since4 the pre surgery diet and surgery on the 14th
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        Yay!! Congrats. I know how good that feels. 🤩

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×