Although i suprisingly didnt i felt like crying

[lifewillbegood 68]

So I've been doing really well with sticking to my diet of what now consist of creamy Soups. I'm still trying to force down food cause I'm not really hungry. I mean if I haven't eaten in a while my tummy growls and I take one bite and feel satisfied basically. Haven't hit the "starvation" mode yet. Today is post op day 10 and I assumed I would feel it by now. I'm glad I dont feel it yet too but on the other hand it's making it difficult to eat.

Anyway I woke up feeling much better yesterday. Still having trouble sleeping on my sides which I'm a side and tummy sleeper. So I've mostly stay on my back and occasionally roll to my right not for long but I'm miserable when I wake up due to being a new back sleeper. To add to it I went out to my car to leave for work and the tire was flat. Couldn't change it cause I can't lift over 15lbs so I preceded to drive the truck which the battery was dead. Well I managed to get the air compressor and fill my tire up. Made it to work not too late and thought ok this is normally when I would be reaching for a candy bar. Just the answer to a bad day. Well I didn't even think about it which I was proud of myself. Fast forward thru the day on the way home from my patients doctors appt the mom was hungry so she stopped and got a small burger and fries to eat on the way home. Fries yet being another weakness of mine I managed to keep thinking about how I couldn't eat it and keeping my mind off the smell and sound of crunchy. It was tough but I managed. Then I got home and 2 minutes later my hubby's friend walked in with a pizza and breadsticks... I thought I was going to lose it. Now I'm still not starving but the smell def had my appetite stirred up. I quietly went to my room watched tv didn't eat dinner cause i felt like I couldn't go out into the living room smelling that and fighting the urge. It just ticked me off. So I guess the lack of sleep and calories are finally catching up and I'm so tired of everything now. We have a room mate and I've been mentioning to my hubby about amazing him to move out which we haven't done but after last night with being emotional that just added to it. I want to be alone (with my hubby) and I can't even do that. So I was asleep by 7pm without eating dinner all because I smelt pizza and that pissed me off. I know they weren't trying to inconsiderate and it's not like they need to be on the same diet I just have to find a way to deal with all of this while I'm still new at it. All of this is still fresh to me. Cause 2 week ago I was eating all that. And I know I will be able to eat again and even pizza in moderation and the right way if I want to but last night my emotions got the best of me. The only thing I'm proud of yesterday tat even thru all the pity party yesterday I don't once think about eating something sweet or junky! I haven't had sweets in 24 day and I promised myself if I can hold out til Xmas I will make myself something small for a reward. I think I deserve at least that!

Sorry I just needed to get this off my chest and I don't think anyone else would understand! Sorry for such a long story!

[lassie 247]

I am glad you took the time to write your story. I am sure it helped you to vent and it will also help other people who are going through the same thing to know they are not alone. Hang in there you are doing great, we all have out pity party at different times. Hugs and more hugs.

[lifewillbegood 68]

I am glad you took the time to write your story. I am sure it helped you to vent and it will also help other people who are going through the same thing to know they are not alone. Hang in there you are doing great' date=' we all have out pity party at different times. Hugs and more hugs.[/quote']

Thank u I appreciate that! It did help. And I never even thought about it that way so thank u once again! Hugs back to u too!

[line-dancer 810]

_{Oh honey you have had a tough time I am so proud of you for handling that so well Iam not sure I could have done so well. It is so much harder when others around you are eating things you cant for a while...hang in there this will get better and be sure to share with you hubby and ask for his help.}

[CHEZNOEL 4,061]

Hang tough and feel free to tell the people around you to take their food elsewhere to eat. b NO torture is allowed!

[lifewillbegood 68]

Thanks guys! And he has been pretty good to me. He's been trying to keep the "bad" foods away which haven't been many. Mostly just the pizza last night! I think he realized that it bothered me! We haven't really had a chance to talk about it but we will. He's a huge support! He is also banded! So this was his first time eating pizza since he was banded. I don't want to take away from his rewards. We will figure it out I'm sure! Thank you guys so much! I'm trying hang tough. It's difficult though!!!!

[FLORIDAYS 3,040]

Do you know how many nights I took a bath went to bed early just so I didn't eat? Plenty !!! You are staying strong and I am so proud of you. Hang in there!

[lifewillbegood 68]

Well that's good to know I'm not alone. I mean I should of eaten something (not pizza obviously) bc I didn't get anywhere near enough calories but I felt like if I would of went out there and smelt it I would of either give in and tried it or I would of went psycho on someone. Lol!!! Thanks for the encouragement! I guess I need to here that I'm doing good!