Venting Session

[DBRN1972 37]

Lannah,

I had to chime in and I hardly ever reply to these posts. I agree with you totally. I have very thick skin and I think some people's comments are just rude. The people making such comments are usually the ones who comment in every post. We all knew those kind of people in school, the know -it-alls. Are they trying to help others, really? It's really sad. I get that they may have been successful in their journey, but sometimes it borderlines on bullying.

[evlyn1971 26]

Really........bullying........ Come on!!!

I just read this whole thread and " my opinion " is that there wasn't any bullying just a few people trying to stir things up, because they didn't like what they heard.

It's to bad that giving your opinion and advise makes you a "know it all" or a bully.

Your allowed to have your opinion just as everyone here. That is why this is an open forum.

[kma87 19]

Are u a gen Y by any chance? I say this in the kindest possible way, as a gen Y girl myself we are wayyyyy too sensitive and far too concerned about being nice and politically correct. This is a forum, there are people of all ages and from all walks of life here. And when I post I expect to get Honest answers no matter how harsh they may seem. We are all here for the same reason. If u get a seemingly harsh response from someone older take it in ur stride, everyone is just trying to help you

[DBRN1972 37]

Really........bullying........ Come on!!!

I just read this whole thread and " my opinion " is that there wasn't any bullying just a few people trying to stir things up' date=' because they didn't like what they heard.

It's to bad that giving your opinion and advise makes you a "know it all" or a bully.

Your allowed to have your opinion just as everyone here. That is why this is an open forum.

[/quote']

I wasn't referring to anyone is this thread. I was speaking in general.

[Annie1976 11]

Responding to most recent "bullying" comments and "get thicker skin" comments, I have to say I hear your points but for me personally I am new to the journey just being banded last week. This is a hard journey emotionally and physically and I probably have read almost all the posts and sometimes I have felt a judgmental tone in some of them (not most). I guess maybe if people tried to remember how it was in the beginning, that this is changing WHO YOU ARE because for me personally I have been heavy for too long...kindness is best??? Am I wrong? A very SENSITIVE JOURNEY fir me so far anyways. I am thinner in the last week than ive been in a decade and i am feeling guilty that i wasted a lot of my life poisoning my body. Some comments (ie. the 3.00 comment...or if I read another lecture on how weight watchers worked I'm gonna puke I joined them 7 times before I got the band...obviously not for me but glad its for you:). We are all doing the best we can...I am grateful for this sight and this thread.

[kll724 3,055]

I laugh about the Weight Watcher comments from Annie1976. i joined only 2 x, but both times lost my 10% and then got off track and bored with dieting. That was one of my goals with lapband. It keeps you on your weightloss journey. When you get bored with dieting, the lapband tool keeps you in site of your "new life". Now, I am not saying it's easy or that you can't eat around the band, you can, but if you treat your band right, you can and will lose weight! I lost 100 lbs and have been maintaining for 2 year. My son has lost 100 lbs and gone from a 52 inch waist to a 36 inch, a 3x shirt to a large Best wishes and happy New year to everyone. Karen

[NettaRue 4]

I have read some posts that could be viewed as very rude or too direct to say the least, but I believe the overall goal of the rude posts were to treat people worth tough love. Some people can take it, some cannot. For those that cannot deal with it, maybe reach out to some of the nicer people and develop your own personal support system. It might help. For me, I read the posts every now and then.. If I have a question, I pose it. I will say this, sometimes responses are based on how the original posts read. Meaning, if the poster sets up a bad situation, do you really expect positivity? Anyone agreeing with you all the time is lying to you about something.

[hopetolose 192]

I have read some posts that could be viewed as very rude or too direct to say the least' date=' but I believe the overall goal of the rude posts were to treat people worth tough love. Some people can take it, some cannot. For those that cannot deal with it, maybe reach out to some of the nicer people and develop your own personal support system. It might help. For me, I read the posts every now and then.. If I have a question, I pose it. I will say this, sometimes responses are based on how the original posts read. Meaning, if the poster sets up a bad situation, do you really expect positivity? Anyone agreeing with you all the time is lying to you about something.[/quote']

This is very true. I think it does depend on how the original post is set up. I've reread some of my earlier posts and I had my share of tough love posts. Sorry, but they all can't be flowers and butterflies. They need some bees to succeed also...

[dreamers 27]

Lannah' date=' ummm, pretty sure she was referring to you about having thicker skin. Please refrain from having the cheese with your whine.[/quote']

Picking on a kid. Classy.

[NaNcyNiCoLe 94]

Sparkplug

Well said Sparkplug! This site is a gold mine of information and reminds me of things that I have either forgotten or have become complacent with. It also keeps me informed of issues that may arise and how to handle them through peoples experience/posts. I very much appreciate this site.

I've be on this site for over 2 years and have seen different personalities come and go and have to admit that there are a few bad rude apples amoungst us right now. I offer words of encouragement to the newby's and those offended by other's intentional or unintentional rudeness. Don't let these people rob you of accessing such valuble information and help. Trends show that these people will drop off soon and get on with their lives and come back here to get help when they find themselves in trouble. Only then will they realize respect and compassion or the lack of. Be patient.

I also belong to a few other lapband support sites and find that the moderators to those sites do an extaordinary job at keeping peace. Just wondering if this site has moderators?

What are the other sites ?

[NoMoBand 278]

I don't think this site allows us to put in the links to other sites, however, do a google search on "lapband support groups". The best site with the most caring people is band2gether. They are like a family there. I have never ever experienced any rudeness there and most all participants are seasoned bandsters and are the most compassionate people I have found. The moderators there make sure they intervene with sensitive subjects gone astray and are very experienced bandsters and make sure that advice is in line. As I said earlier I like this site, but, when I get bugged I'll stay away from here til the the attitudes calm down.

[B-52 7,113]

I hate how many people on here lecture other people. They tell everyone what they should be doing and that if you don't do it a certain way it won't work. Which is bull. And not to mention how rude everyone is these days. I come on here for help and support, and now if I come on here I just want to scream at people to lighten up. Don't be so strict on others! If that's how you want to do this journey that's fine, but I don't need to hear your lectures and you don't need to be so stuck up just because your loosing weight. Everyone here is loosing weight, you aren't any better or smarter than other people.

As long as you're loosing weight and happy with yourself and what you are doing, that's all that matters!

Could not agree with you more....I stayed away from this website for a while because it was getting to me....

I have some people blocked and can not read their posts anymore...not sure if they can read mine or not....

This should be a place for people to share their stories and experiences, good and bad....successes and failures....

There are way too many people who consider themselves "Experts" and will tell other people "THIS IS THE WAY IT IS" and "THIS IS WHAT YOU MUST DO" where as I and other people I know may do something entirely different, and have the personal experience and success to back it up....

I often wonder what some people's credentials are to give such direct medical advice...I have creds and know better because of it..(unless you like lawsuits).....and all the more reason NOT to publicize it...

People should always reply to posts with "This is what I have found to be true in my experiences"

I belong to other sites also, but mostly smaller "Private" support groups where people have more of a common interest....

[NoMoBand 278]

That's where you've been B-52. You offered some really valuable advice and inspiration. Really miss some of your posts. jake

[losangelesislovely 10]

I agree that a lot of people here are unncessarily rude and judgmental. It's really annoying. Like in the 20s forum when someone asked about smoking pot or with the band several "helpful" posters wanted to point out that pot is illegal (which isn't even true in many, many cases and it's not like people are unaware). and there were a lot of high-and-mighty responses.

A lot of high horses here, it seems.

But a lot of people are also really helpful. I guess this is just a microcosm of the real world. There will always be assholes.

[LJCBF 363]

Take what you need leave the rest - look at profiles of those giving advice - inspect what you expect - the bottom line is lbs lost and the life altering freedom that brings. I try to remember that every one is diff and several ways to sustained weight loss exist BUT I can only advise the path that worked for me and others that have followed me.

Regarding thick skin ... The personal discipline required for "thick skin" is the same one required to keep clearly divisive comments to ourselves rather than volunteer them under the guise of "honesty" and being "helpful". I try to do my best to follow my first rule of communication "it's not what I say that counts, it's what you hear". Hopefully this post effectively follows that axiom.

Lee

269 lbs lost Diabetes - Lung Disease - High Blood Pressure, REVERSED