Venting Session

[CHEZNOEL 4,061]

I agree... We must all have thicker skin and just move on!

[FLORIDAYS 3,040]

Goodness!!! So much ado about nothing. If you don't like what's on, change the channel.

That's is the best thing I heard all day.

[hely88 883]

I just want to say to everyone that you have to remember its hard to tell intent when you are only communicating through words. No tone or facial expressions. It might seem like someone means one thing when they really dont. Either pm them to verify, block or move on. Take what you can from the forum and leave what you dont want. I have decided most the people I thought were catty or rude did not intend to come across that way a lot of the times. The ones that are obvious and want to argue still a lot of times have good suggestions. If you absolutely can handle it avoid the posts all togther there are lots of other support groups on line and in person.

[MiniMi 1,468]

There's a difference between humour and being rude to people just for a joke. I'm not going to block you because it is fine if you disagree with me and have a different view or opinion on what I think.

But yet this whole thread is about you NOT liking different opinions, even saying that they are rude in their manner. You are confusing me!

I poked in to see what all the fuss was about and then I got to this post and realized that all the fuss was about you. If you are reading this interpreting a snarl on my face and an uppity air you are reading it wrong. I'm just wanting to understand, that is all!

[LaLu 37]

But yet this whole thread is about you NOT liking different opinions' date=' even saying that they are rude in their manner. You are confusing me!

I poked in to see what all the fuss was about and then I got to this post and realized that all the fuss was about you. If you are reading this interpreting a snarl on my face and an uppity air you are reading it wrong. I'm just wanting to understand, that is all![/quote']

That's not what my post was about. I have no problem with people's opinions and they can say their opinion I just don't see why some people have to be nasty about it. That's all. There's a few comments here that people clearly are being nasty and I just don't understand why. It doesn't upset me, it just angers me.

[MiniMi 1,468]

That's not what my post was about. I have no problem with people's opinions and they can say their opinion I just don't see why some people have to be nasty about it. That's all. There's a few comments here that people clearly are being nasty and I just don't understand why. It doesn't upset me' date=' it just angers me.[/quote']

Got it! Anger is a form of upset by definition btw. You received a lot of good advice from ones that posted here. I hope you can see those through all the rude. It is good advice because anger really only effects you and stress can slow your success!

Best wishes!

[LaLu 37]

The one thing I have noticed that is upsetting to me though is when someone posts something such as " help I messed up. I ate to many calories today or I splurged and ate ice cream and not my Protein or I had alcohol and way to much" instead of getting an its ok we've been there or you can bounce back! You have the ones who instantly start with why did you even get a band if you were going to stick to your old life and so on as If they have never once made a mistake with their band.

I think thats where the original poster was going with it. That some people instantly lash out because they have been successful instead of trying to be supportive.

That's actually exactly what got me angry in the first place and that's why I posted this. A few people have told me the same thing as well. There's a difference between telling someone they should try harder and that we all make mistakes every now and then, and being lectured to make them feel worse which could send them in to more trouble. If that makes sense.

[LaLu 37]

Got it! Anger is a form of upset by definition btw. You received a lot of good advice from ones that posted here. I hope you can see those through all the rude. It is good advice because anger really only effects you and stress can slow your success!

Best wishes!

Haha yes thats true, you've got me there. Thanks hun.

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

Wow what a thread...ugh.

I can see it from both sides. There are a few posters on these forums that are downright nasty. There is a monumental difference between being the voice of honest tough love and someone being a judgmental jerk.

On the other hand, it's very easy for people to misinterpret text. You can't hear voice inflection or read body language via written word. Quite honestly, I think sometimes the message is received based on the reader's perception. I tend to be a very happy, positive person by nature, so I will read posts and unless they're blatantly nasty I assume they're meant with good intentions. I can easily see how if someone is upset, depressed, or generally a pessimistic person they can read the exact the same message I read and see it as something horrible. It's all a matter of perception.

I have been attacked on these boards, by the way. A couple of times by people who simply didn't like my honest response to their threads, usually because they didn't really want the truth they'd rather be coddled. I'm totally ok with that. If someone wants to flip out on me for simply sharing the truth, let them, they only make a fool of themselves in the end.

Bottom line is, this is an open forum. Jerks can post here and be idiots, too. It's their right. If you don't like what someone has to say, block them or ignore their posts, but you absolutely must have a thick skin if you're going to participate here.

Just my two cents.

[dfav3412 116]

Ok, I can't stand it any longer....people can be respectful with being honest. I have seen someone actually respond this way and please understand that I don't talk or write this way.....WTF, you should look at other threads because that has been discussed over and over.....to me that is talking down to someone and very disrepectful. I don't have to see their face to know what the tone of voice is when I see something like that. I think these boards for the most part are great and most of the posters are great too giving their opinions even if what they have to say doesn't agree with what the orginal poster is asking/posted. Each persons journey is different but in alot of ways the same. We all need encouragement to substain us and sometimes brutal honesty too but done in love.

[sparkplug 106]

I hope everybody puts this much time and energy into important issues on the lap band journey. When I was banded 4 years ago I came on this website for any and all information I could find, especially when I ran into a problem like eating too fast or too big of a piece of food and got stuck and was in so much pain I prayed to either have it move down or up, either way would work. This website has kept me on this path and to goal for 4 years. I don't believe I am thick skinned, I have always been very sensitive so for a long time I never responded to any comments or suggestions, just read what I needed and left this site and went on with my life. I do splurge on holidays and gain about 5 pounds and by the end of the week, I will be back on the wagon getting it off. This works for me and I don't recommend it for everybody, but this is what keeps me happy and to goal for this length of time. If I do not like what people say on a certain subject I just move on to the next subject. Everybody is so different and I have not found 2 people alike in this journey. I have never had a fill and people on here say what was the purpose of the band with no fills???? Not true, if your band in put in the proper position for YOU, a lot of people on here have found they needed NO FILLS. But like I said, this is so different for everybody. I get the same signals as someone who has been filled halfway up or more. I do want to wish everybody a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and just move on to bigger and better things. Ohhhh, I loved the comment about getting paid $3.00, what a great sense of humor you must have!!!!!!

[kll724 3,055]

Thanks, Sparkplug, you said something that needs to be said. Merry Christmas, everyone. I, now, need to go start prep for dinner tomorrow,as I always host. My 1st year, I just watched everyone gouge themselves. This year, 4 out of 6 adults have lapband! Not much gouging going on in my house. hah!

[Lapbandster 496]

Skimmed through this topic and to be honest I do see some immaturity on here, but its only like 10% of the time

the other 90% of the time I see a lot of compassion and and helpfullness towards others.

But that annoying 10% of the time REALLY SUCKS!!

Happy holidays everyone

[4sweeties 63]

As a new person to the board, I do sometimes think a response might be harsh, non empathetic or tunnel visioned to what someone posted. However, I have no problem with that and follow the forum rules. Which are fair rules. I just move on and keep reading.

What does turn me off, is when the original poster responds to the harsh statement (they might be right or wrong in their reaction) and all of a sudden "the family" comes out and posts and posts and posts to back up the straight up poster. I don't feel that's needed. Ok so the op was insulted by a response and shared their feelings, leave it between them and get back to the main question. The thread gets off topic quickly, people start praising the honesty and weight loss of the blunt poster and state their love. I get older posters have a bond and probably many private chats/forums etc. That is a great support network. But do you really need to chime in to protect someone and pledge your love, respect etc. The blunt posters know you support them, you don't need to do it in someone elses thread.. It just makes the post turn dramatic and into a bigger issue than it was to begin with. I think it can scare off new people or people from asking questions.

[NoMoBand 278]

Sparkplug

When I was banded 4 years ago I came on this website for any and all information I could find, especially when I ran into a problem like eating too fast or too big of a piece of food and got stuck ................................................................

Well said Sparkplug! This site is a gold mine of information and reminds me of things that I have either forgotten or have become complacent with. It also keeps me informed of issues that may arise and how to handle them through peoples experience/posts. I very much appreciate this site.

I've be on this site for over 2 years and have seen different personalities come and go and have to admit that there are a few bad rude apples amoungst us right now. I offer words of encouragement to the newby's and those offended by other's intentional or unintentional rudeness. Don't let these people rob you of accessing such valuble information and help. Trends show that these people will drop off soon and get on with their lives and come back here to get help when they find themselves in trouble. Only then will they realize respect and compassion or the lack of. Be patient.

I also belong to a few other lapband support sites and find that the moderators to those sites do an extaordinary job at keeping peace. Just wondering if this site has moderators?