Question about "Telling People"

[barbara465 2]

Yoda, you will know who to tell and who not to tell. Tell only those that are supportivie, really care what you are doing. Any of those that would cast negative thoughts or try to sabotage you should not be told. I have only told 2 others besides my husband. I am going to keep it that way for a while. After surgery when the pounds come off I'll be honest to those that ask. I'm not going to volunteer, but I don't want to lie. I'll just see how it goes. I am so excited and not the least embarrassed by my decision. I just know how people can be, so for now just my inner circle. Good luck to you. I just can't wait to get started.

[mrycrltn 2]

In the beginning, I told my husband and some close friends. It doesn't matter if you tell somebody not to say anything, you know they are. But now, I don't care who knows. I am happy with the results.

[Wheetsin 714]

I've told several people at work. I haven't told everyone because I don't talk to/know everyone... there are only a few people on my floor, and I don't know many people on the other floors, but my department knows (my department is virtual so I'm in MO, my boss is in IL, and my peers are in FL, CO, NY, NJ...) Ends up one of the ladies in NJ had been looking into RNY b/c she couldn't find anyone to ask questions about LB to, so now she's been calling me about 4x a week.

The family I've seen in the last 2 years knows, and my in-laws (live in another country) know.

I don't go around blindly offering the information, only because I don't go around blindly offering any information. If someone asked how I'd lost the weight, I'd tell them. It wouldn't bother me at all.

No one has reacted negatively. My grandmother (74) at first asked, "Can't you lose weight another way?" but this came from a family friend who had a horrible, horrible experience with LB. Once I explained to her how our two situations were different, she said, "Oh, then maybe I should get one of those limpband things!" She can't hear too well.

[Sunta 5]

I started out thinking I wasn't telling anyone but my husband and best friend, and little by little, I told EVERYONE!!! LOL! I have a big mouth. Mostly everyone was supportive. Some people did associate it with the bypass and everyone who I told said some variation of "I know someone who died getting the bypass". I had alot of explaining to do about the band itself. Once they understood, they were alot more supportive. The only really bad experience I had was with my cousin, who looked at me like I was crazy and said in a really nasty tone "why would you want to do that?" and has not spoken to me since then (three months ago; prior to that, we had emailed every day!). So, do be prepared that some people might flip out about it, and if someone is really emotionally immature like my cousin, they might even get really angry (for what reason I still don't quite know). It's funny, the people who I thought would be the coolest were not and the people who I thought would be upset were the most supportive! It was really weird. Good luck with whatever you decide.

[*susan* 1,709]

At first I had thought I would share with my hubby, parents and kids only. But, I am so excited about my upcoming banding that I have also told several people I work with. Mainly, those who also have a weight problems. But, as time goes on and hopefully people begin to notice my weight loss, I will share with them how I did it. It is a very personal decision.

[kim2bhealthy 3]

I've told just about anyone that would listen (family, friends, co-workers, bosses, etc)... I'm the type of person that needs a lot of input, and most people know someone who has either had the band or RNY, so I got a lot of information that way. I'm waiting to hear from my Inso Co. so that I can schedule my date.. Yeah!! The only down-side to me about telling everyone is that I worry that I might fail to lose the weight, my body might "reject" the band, and all those other things that pre-banders might worry about. In that case (I hope and pray that this isn't the case) it will be difficult to have to explain what happened.. I feel like the support that I've received from people that I have told out-weighs that risk. I've received mostly positive responses, a few skeptical, and one "have you considered a personal trainer?" response. By the way, welcome YODA!

[shackdog 1]

Yoda: I am going into have the band on the 17th and I am very excited that I made this decision. About telling anyone? Yes I have told the world, I am tired of being the end of all the jokes and I have heard every fat joke in the world. But here I am 53yrs old and finally doing something for myself. I want the world to know and I tell anyone and everyone who will listen.

The strange part of this is wow what a response, but positive and negitive, but you know this is ok. Because when I hit my target I have pleadged to take myself and my bride of 28yrs on a crusie. Wow what a goal to work towards. Hang in there and may the FORCE(band) be with you

[diva 0]

Hi all,

You know its funny, I re-read all the responses including my own, then I realized that one of the real reasons I even thought about the band was due to a stranger!

I was running a craft fair over the holidays. There was this really nice craftswoman wearing kind of baggy clothes (nice but baggy) and just looking so happy. We had served lunch to the craftspeople. She mentioned she would love a cookie but was being careful. Bottom line, we started talking about Cookies and diets, and she just told me she had the band! Now granted we were alone and it was obvious I am fat. But she wanted to share. I told her I had heard about the band (Annie Wilson of Heart) but was too nervous about wls esp gastric bypass. She ended up letting me feel her port and answering some questions.

If it wasn't for this kind informative stranger, I would not have been so diligent about pursuing the band by further research.

I still have her card, I need to call her. She had her teen daughter with her who was really proud of her mom's progress (50 pounds lost-still losing-hence baggy clothes).

I wonder if she is on this board.

Anyway-it is still a personal issue to tell or not tell. I doubt if I hadn't been fat and talking about diets she would have shared so easily.

I get the feeling that I would be willing to share with someone overweight who seemed interested but not with the people I mentioned in my previous post. I guess we all walk in the same (wide :-)) shoes when we are fat and we understand or empathize with each other a little better than with people who are thin or normal weight?

Its the judgement I can't deal with. ("the easy way out, you are weak willed, you just need will power, get some self control, just say no, just eat less")Some people never will get it, but sometimes when a person is in need like the woman saw I was in need...hmm

[Angeleyes 1]

I didn't tell anyone except one child and my husband. Since I have only lost 30 pounds over the last year I am glad that I didn't tell anyone else.

However I do have problems because I haven't told. My husband and I eat out with other people and I have had alot of times when I have not been able to eat only a few bites of food then have put the rest in a doggie bag to take home. I am pretty sure they are thinking I have an eating issue of some kind. I usually say the food was to spicy. I may decide to come out and admit it after I lose more weight.

[Pacomomma 0]

I was banded over a year ago. I did not want to tell anyone,if fact I told everyone that I was having gallbladder surgery. Well when I came back almost everyone knew what I had done and they were impressed over my one week weight loss. I work in a doctors office and now that I have lost almost 100lbs I tell everyone about my surgery. My ID is the same pic from before surgery and the patients notice. Be proud of your decision to start a new way of life. DO what is best for you. Good luck !

[maryb 1]

I didn't want anyone to know... well that lasted less then a week.

I tell most people I am on a doctor supervised diet for my health. That usually satisfies most people. I have a friend who lives out of state that I talk to every few months. She called two days ago. I didn't tell her... she told me someone we know had gbs went from a size 28 to a 20. She made a negative comment about using surgery to do it. Well I'll be darned if I will tell her about mine now!

My best friend tells everyone she sees she had lapband surgery. I don't like it when she tells them we had it, but I would have to kill her to shut her up. (She told my mom after I told her that I wasn't going to tell her.) I keep telling her that if I didn't love her I sure wouldn't put up with her.

:faint:

[Ceparano 0]

I decided to only tell my son's and their wives, and my dh. I've told a FEW friends that I have to have surgery on my stomach which is true. As far as eating less around people, well......I had stomach surgery so I have to be careful what I eat. I am a very private person and I share very little of my personal life with anyone. That's just me. But again it's a personal decision and you need to go with your gut. No pun intended.

Roberta

[Angels 0]

Yoda, I definately have the same feelings you have. Only my husband knows that I was banded on April 4, 2006. When I put my leave in at work, I put in for annual leave instead of sick leave and in the comments area of my slip, which is optional I put college visititations since my son is graduating highschool in May 2006. I don't want anyone watchdogging me now or later. Although, I know with GOD I will have much success with my weight lost. I did tell my mother, mother-in-law and aunt since I was home from work for a week that I had a minor procedure done on my back. Since they all know I was in two car accidents that which were not my fault, damaged some of my soft tissue. Keep your business private. I spoke with a bandster friend yesterday and she had a host of supportive friends. As of yesterday she told me they are getting on her nerves by doing things such as begging her to eat unhealthy things...she thought they were her close supportive friends but look how it turned out!:angry

[Spydr 0]

I have told everyone from family and friends to wait staff at my local diner! I show my scar and talk about what works and what doesn't. Since my banding in November, 2 of the strangers I've told about the band have scheduled their own surgery. I opnly wish all bandsters could be so vocal. I might have learned about the band earlier and gotten the help I needed.

I feel like it's part of my lot in life to help others. I have a LapBand and it's working. Why would I be ashamed. I should share with everyone who shows interest so neither they nor the people in their life have to ssuffer. When thin people ask me about the band, they often have an overweight family member who needs help.

I made a choice to save my life. I tried diets and exercise with no results. The Band works! If people want to blow me sh*t for taking the "easy way out" I show them the pictures of my insides during surgery and ask them if they prefer I had just checked into a cemetary.

Okay, so I'm a little confrontational. I still think I should be here to help others find the Band. Someone did it for me. I just think we shoulod pay it forward!

[niki 1]

Not sure this will be helpful or not but this has been discussed on other threads before.

I think that it really depends on how you see it and whether you believe you need to tell other people or not. Personally, I only told those who I though that really needed to know (husband, my colleague at the office that would be doing my work for that couple of days I was absent, mom & dad, and sister).

From my experience, I know that the majority of people don't truly care, they might feel curious, but that is not the same as if they really care or intend to show some support, so why put up with someone else's judgemental look everytime you eat or go to the supermarket? Evidently if someone obese or suffering from overweight wants to know about it, I'll happily share all the info I can and will try to help; otherwise, other «non-overweighted» people will just feel curious about it as they probably do about so many other things, they don't really have the faintest idea of what being obese means, so I feel I don't have to share such information with them. I consider it personal stuff, and as some other things in my life, I only share it with a very few.

And if you go on a diet and start exercising, it's only natural you loose some weight, and it's only normal other people notice it, right?

I guess it's just a matter of finding what suits you best.

niki