Keeping it a secret

[BacktoDez 14]

At first I only told my 23 year old son, since I needed someone to pick me up from the hospital. I expected to be home the same day, surgery at 7:30 - then home by 4. I had a bad reaction to the anesthesia, so I took a little longer to recover before leaving the hospital. Anyway, after a series of events, others in my family had to be told. My mom and my kids are very supportive, but my sister and my dad really aren't. I didn't feel anyone at work had the right to know. I am a firm believer in separating job life from home life. But we have allot of corporate lunches, so it is kinda hard to come up with reasons why I am only having Soup and salad, instead of something like I used to order. It is especially tough when they order sandwiches or pizza - I can not get any type of dough products down, without allot of pain - so I usually go back to my desk or find some other reason not to be there for lunch. I have to say that I do miss the commodory of the group lunches, but I have to think about me and my weight lose ambitions. I got banded in October and I still feel like I need to hide it from everyone, and I don't like talking to my family about it. But I needed a support group - and wellah! here you guys all are! Thanks!

BTW...Great question!!! OH, and for the intimacy...can't answer that, since I don't have a significant other...for the time being ;}

[sweetie__13 99]

At first I only told my 23 year old son' date=' since I needed someone to pick me up from the hospital. I expected to be home the same day, surgery at 7:30 - then home by 4. I had a bad reaction to the anesthesia, so I took a little longer to recover before leaving the hospital. Anyway, after a series of events, others in my family had to be told. My mom and my kids are very supportive, but my sister and my dad really aren't. I didn't feel anyone at work had the right to know. I am a firm believer in separating job life from home life. But we have allot of corporate lunches, so it is kinda hard to come up with reasons why I am only having Soup and salad, instead of something like I used to order. It is especially tough when they order sandwiches or pizza - I can not get any type of dough products down, without allot of pain - so I usually go back to my desk or find some other reason not to be there for lunch. I have to say that I do miss the commodory of the group lunches, but I have to think about me and my weight lose ambitions. I got banded in October and I still feel like I need to hide it from everyone, and I don't like talking to my family about it. But I needed a support group - and wellah! here you guys all are! Thanks!

BTW...Great question!!! OH, and for the intimacy...can't answer that, since I don't have a significant other...for the time being ;}[/quote']

Ok now that's exactly my problem wow! I know my dad and sister will not support me. My dad is all about people should eat meat cornbread and potatoes! And be happy! Have meat on the bones! My sister is miss you shouldn't cheat just exercise! She told me one day when I was complaining about what it feels like in my body sitting in a sports car (which she has) and she looked at me and said if your so dam unhappy push the plate away for a change! Back away from the table and put you fork down. I was so hurt wow she has no idea! My sister will tell everyone! As far as work, yea I work at a medical office and have to attend luncheons. My co worker are very pushy. I even thought about saying I was in some liquid diet lol just to make up something but like you said. I going to think about my life and separate work. They don't need to know my business and why I'm losing or want to lose weight. I'm still preop so I'm very exited and happy to have all you ladies for support And advise. So here to a new year to come To a new us!!! Whoa!???‰

[Soybean 4]

I never told coworkers because I didn't want people to start expecting me to be thin. I was happy in the long run because I really didn't lose much weight at all the first year. I have actually chosen to tell some people at work who are new and a little more distant from the inner circle, and who aren't permanently there. I seem to feel more comfortable revealing it to people who won't expect anything if they hear it (and I find that people totally forget that you ever told them).

As for intimacy, I've had a partner who noticed it and was little freaked out if he touched it and I've had another partner who never noticed it even though he knew about the surgery and touched me a lot there. So, I think it depends more on the partner than the surgery, in my experience.

[FutureMrsH 86]

I was just banded today and I have only chosen to tell 4 people non of them coworkers. I agree business and personal should be separate. I am I guess what some people would say at the lower end of needing WSL. Even at my group preop meeting other patients looked at me like why are you here. 2 years ago I lost a lot of weight on the hcg diey which slowly crept back on. All I ever hear is why dont you do diet again you looked so good even from my own mother who is not a skinny mini. Congrats and an applause to you for taking control of your heath and lifestyle to make it better. Don't give a hoot about anyone else cause at the end of the day ultimately you take care of you.

[feb27bandwoman 112]

I told only significant other and children. I did not want the judging and scrutiny from co workers.

When they ask, I tell them I am eating less and exercising more.

When they ask how I did it, I talk about the hard work and persistence, writing down every bite. I start to go on and on about it and I see that they are losing interest ... It is kind of a fun experience!

When people start noticing the weight loss,they can be very persistent. But, it is a very personal experience for me and it is none of anyone's business.

Only one person came right out and asked if I had had surgery, I calmly replied no and went on about the hard work I did, all the exercise, focusing on fresh fruits and vegetables.... His eyes glazed over and we went on to another topic!

Remember, once you tell someone, you cannot " un-tell" them. There is no " swearing to secrecy".

In general, I find that many people want to know wayyyyyy too much personal information about us. Not just related to weight and weight related issues. But, family issues, money, religion..... Just too much sharing .

[sweetie__13 99]

Thank you wow I can't believe the support and the great advise going into this! I feel ready. Just waiting to get the psych eval and some other test. Yayy I'm ready

[merika0821 7]

I too didn't want to tell a lot of people only my immediate family and husband of course. But with my Dr being out of town people were wondering why I was all of the sudden going to San Antonio every month (I live 2 hrs away) so my husband started telling people which infuriated me. It was my choice who knew and he didn't understand why I would keep this a secret. He was like they're going to notice you're losing weight and what are you going to tell them? I told him that I didn't want all of the questions and judgement. It's a private issue and like everyone on here has said it's no ones business but our own. Just wish I could've controlled who knew more. Good luck to everyone!