This Isnt How I Thought Id Feel!

[lisapereira66 18]

I had my surgery on May 30, so I'm almost exactly at 6 months. For the past 2 days I've been at 200.0.. I started at about 242. My first goal was to be at 190 by christmas and I'm still hopeful that I'll get there.

The problem is that I thought I would fell better by this time. Instead I am grossed out that I let myself get this fat in the first place. 42 pounds down and no one even notices. I saw a picture of myself from thanksgiving and I still look just as fat as I always did. What did I do to myself. My skin is all stretched, so even WHEN I do get to goal I'm still not going to look good naked. Also, I weighed between 200-210 for most of my adult life but I had two kids within the past 7 years and gained the extra 30. This also bummes me out because if I never gained that I would be almost at a normal BMI by now with the 42 lost so far.

On a positive note, I know for the first time in my life that I will be skinny soon. I am VERY confident that I can do this. I guess I'm just bummed that I let it get this bad before I took action. For those of you on the fence. Let this be a lesson to you. You don't want to wake up 7 years from now with an exta 30 to lose. Just do it now before you ruin your body even more, and get on with life.

Lisa

[CHEZNOEL 4,061]

Keep the faith. I am sure others can see your weight loss. It takes a while for our brains to catch up. We have seen ourselves as heavy for so long, it is easy to miss the day to day changes. 42 pounds is fantastic! You can do it!

[kll724 3,055]

Cheznoel is so right. The brain will fool you. But, all of a sudden people will notice. Have you bought new clothes? if not, do so, it will make a difference in how you look and how you feel. You can do it, just don't get down on yourself! Best wishes. Karen

[2muchfun 8,927]

Why fret over past mistakes? You made the right choice to have WLS and you're on your way to a healthier life. Few of us will ever look like swimsuit models so toss that fantasy away.

You say you are disappointed in how you feel but it sounds like you're more disappointed in how you look? Looking good should be less than half of the reason you did this. Living longer and living a healthier more active life should be more important than vanity. You're only 6 months into this journey. At 6 months I had lost only 25 lbs. I still don't look good in a swimsuit. Of course I'm an old SOB so I tossed that fantasy away long ago.

You can't change the past but you do have control over your future. 42 lbs is awesome and just think how good you will look and feel after the next 42 lbs melts away.

tmf

[Nanu 60]

I understand how you are feeling, but you are doing great with your weight loss. I have found that many people really do notice, but either they can't quite figure out what's different about you or they don't want to say anything about your weight at all for fear you may be offended that they noticed or judged you for being overweight in the first place. You are moving in the right direction. Holidays are difficult and can sometimes bring negative emotions. I'm glad you posted so you can get a different perspective from those of us that understand.

[destynee1 417]

You're going great... I feel much the same.. how did I get this way.. seriously seems like one year I was 225 and I in all honesty don't know when I got to 325. It baffles me how I let myself get this way.. I wouldn't listen to anyone.. thats why.. but there is nothing we can do about it but move forward.. don't lose any more years.. and reach out to people in the same situation..

Proud of your weightloss! you will get there... smile.. and do it!

[PattyGirl66 1,243]

What you said is very common, It usually takes you to hit rock bottom or something related to medical issues before we decide to take drastic measures to lose weight. I can't say it enough of times "why didn't I do this sooner". I waited to get to this point to finally do something about it.

You notice your weight loss not only in numbers, but the way you feel wearing your old clothing, the regained energy and more mobility you have. Those are true results. Yes, for some it takes time for 'other's' to notice or respond. I wouldn't worry about that at all, you would be surprised how often people in general are reluctant to say anything towards a persons weight loss or even weight gain. I know we are our worse enemey when it comes to sabatoging ourselves.

Personally, I think you are doing fabulous!

Keep up the great work

[Kime-lou 648]

I am in the same boat with you. I had surgery June 22, weight was 244 today I am 201.2. I have been bouncing between 202 and 201 all month. It's hard. I still feel huge, but we have to realize we have take off 40 lbs!!

I am hanging on and trying to believe in myself!! Good luck and heres to us both being below 200 by Christmas!

[tiggergramma 129]

When I am feeling dismayed at slowing the loss down, I stroll through either the sugar or rice aisle at the grocery store and look at all the 5 pound bags I used to carry around. Makes me feel great and not care one bit that other people haven't noticed yet! (I felt bad enough being where I was, I can't spend any more time doing that, now I try not to spend too much time feeling bad about where I am today!)

[CaGottaBand 498]

42 pounds is huge! People are noticing....it's just harder for you to notice a change. Our brains play tricks on us and show us the fat person we used to be, instead of the skinny person we are becoming. Keep up the good work! You're doing awesome!

[Mayasgram 351]

I notice a common thread through many post including this one. Many of us can not put a finger on how we got so FAT .. Obviously we ate way to much, but I think it is important to know what we told ourselves that made that okay. I think knowing all the stuff we told ourselves in advance helps us to not fall for that line again as we struggle.

Also curious to know what we told ourselves the day we faced the Fat and said this is not OK. I am never going to be a swimsuit model , but then very few people are . I don't know many women who are happy with their body . I wish my arms were not still fat and I do not like the turkey look to my neck. But I look so much better then I did 85 lbs ago and I will take that and Celebrate it.

[MissTiffany 11]

So, I'm a grad student in counselling psych and I found an interesting stat that I think might be relevant: For whatever reason, it turns out that bariatric patients seem to have a slightly higher suicide rate than those in the general populous, and my guess is that the weight loss, for some, doesn't always cure the underlying depression. I bring this statistic up because ultimately I think our happiness depends less on our weight, and more on how we view ourselves *outside* of this thing that has defined us for so many years (who are we when we are no longer the fat chick?). Some of us are still going to be depressed when all the weight is gone and all that's left is a beautiful, skinny person with no more fat to blame for our sadness. Your post echoes a sadness that I have felt before, and it runs much more deeply than we think it does.

I think as we shed the pounds we also need to shed some of the hidden beliefs we have about ourselves: Instead of recognizing achievement (even small victories like eating less dessert or staying the same weight over a big holiday) a lot of us spend more time thinking about what we *could* have done, rather than what we did do. It's so much easier to get down on ourselves than to have to face our fear of failure by admitting that we *can* be successful (and hey, if I get down on myself I don't have to be as upset when others do, right? Cause deep down I know I deserve the poor self-talk and negative things I'm saying about myself...right?! No). Weight has always defined many of us. It has always been a source of woe (or sometimes comfort). So, I ask you this: Who will you be when the weight is gone? Will you be just as hard on yourself, or will you be ready to admit that you have the tools, drive, and skills necessary to be successful? And further, will you be able to admit that you *deserve* to be successful and happy in your new body? You are so much more than the pounds you lose (all of us are), and while it's important to Celebrate success and feel pride in our achievements, I think it's important that we allow our self-consciousness, self-doubt, and fear erode away with each pound.

[LadyMaggie 145]

Lisa: I feel like your post was also my life story and experience; i have lost 47 pounds and not one family member or co-worker has ever commented on it; I am at 8 months post-op; thought the progress would be more; but at least I have not yet gained

[ShellyBellyIowa 78]

Be sure to take pictures in tighter clothes and do many views so you can see the difference. Take them every 10 pounds, you will be amazed what you don't notice in the mirror each day!

[FLORIDAYS 3,040]

I can tell you from personal experience that at. 377 It took a long time for people who didn't know I was banded to notice my weight loss, in fact I remember when I hit a loss of 100 lbs I went to a conference with coworkers I see once a year. Several asked if I had a new hair style, I was like... I have lost 100 lbs...why haven't you noticed??? But I was still at 277 lbs so I was still fat.

Fast forward to the 2nd 100 lbs lost and it's a HUGE change !! People will walk across the street to see if it's really me... It's amazing their reaction and when I say I have been dieting 2 years they seem surprised.

And for me... I still see a heavier girl even though I now am in a size 6 on top and 8/10 bottom. But my aha moment came a few weeks ago....doing laundry and I pulled my jeans out of the dryer and wondered why my daughters jeans were in with my clothes... Lol. I realized they were mine and it was like...wow I am pretty thin!!