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Guilty For Having The Surgery



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I am having my Lapband in couple weeks. I am really feeling guilty about it. My daughter is over weight and I feel like it is my fault for the way she is. How can I convince myself that the surgery is for me and that is what i want and that I want to feel good about myself.

Future lapband patient and hope to be very successful.

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Dont feel guilty. Think about it as helping yourself first so you can help your daughter next?!

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I agree with PG, help yourself and learn a healthier life style and bring those things into your home. You start having healthier choices and daughter will automatically be able to shed lbs. Taking weight off is so much easier when you're younger. It was damn near impossible for this 56yo woman!

Your daughter deserves to have a healthy mother!

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Sounds a bit like me. My oldest daughter is over weight too. She was happy for me and she said she was wanted to do the pre op diet with me to be supportive (so I won't feel alone). I am a huge influence on her and she watches me very close. I was banded more than 5 weeks ago and she can see my changes.

I guess what I'm saying is if your daughter watches you like mine watches me, your daughter might start picking up on your eating habits. I don't know.

Good luck

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As mothers we often take the blame. The fact is we cant help others till we help ourselves. Once you begin to change your old habits and replace them with new ones your daughter can also pick up new healthier habits.

Good Luck

Wendy

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We can only take care of ourselves. If you eat healthy that is best you can do for your daughter.

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There is no reason you and your daughter cannot diet together.... I don't know how old she is....but surgery is a last resort... Maybe you can explain it to her that she won't need a band if she changes her eating habits now learns to live a healthy lifestyle with you.

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I am my fathers twin! We look alike and act alike! My mom calls us a pair of bookends! He got the lap band done about 3 and a half years ago and he's down 180 pounds! He is just becoming more of an inspiration to me. I looked up to him as he was on his journey. Still do! And it wasn't until a year ago that I decided to get mine. And having his support only made it 10x better! Your doing a great thing! And I honor you for your braveness!!

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When I started losing weight my youngest daughter gave up fast food and soda. She has given me some of her old jeans to wear. By the way I am wearing a 16 vs 22-24. You might be the inspiration your daughter needs.

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    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

      2. Theweightisover2024🙌💪

        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

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