Stuffed Myself And Still Lost Hmmmm....

[Iruthie20 24]

Jg956, I completely understand where your coming from. Sometimes we just want people to validate our feelings or statements we make. I posted a week ago a similar statement and people jumped down my throat...I felt so terrible after reading the responses. It was like my moment of happiness and success was taken from me and left me feeling discouraged. I think people get the lap band for different reasons. I know one thing we all have in common is loosing weight, however, my reason was because I wanted to eat what I wanted but less of it. I felt a victory last week when I ate two donut holes. Prior to Lap band I ate 25 count in one sitting. To me, this was big!!!! I have always wanted to have control over the quantity of what I eat which has always been hard. I did three months in an eating disorder program to over come binge eating disorder. I still after three months could not control my quanity of donut holes. Seeing how people attack over what we eat vs how much is not fair. No one here got obese from eating a piece of pecan pie, maybe from eating the whole pie. If eating a piece of that pie allowed you to enjoy thanksgiving that occurs one time a year, good for you!!!!! You did not kill anything from eating that piece. Just because we have a lap band doesn't mean were banned from eating sweets or anything with high calories, it means we're not going to eat as much as we probably used too. Last year I lost 150 pounds from restricting quanity of food, I never once banned any food from my diet I just limited my quanity and how often I ate certain things. I'm really bothered by people making comments of what we can't and can eat. Three months in an inpatient eating disorder program taught me how to eat and never once did it encourage not eating certain foods , or restricting sweets on a holiday....I hope posting your true feelings didn't discourage you from posting because I really enjoy reading honest posts that come from our true real experiences. I honestly think some responses are of what people think they have to say. We have a doctor that can give us harsh realities, we need validation, support, active listening, and sensitive oriented opinions and responses. On the other side, I guess hearing harsh realities can also help us. I became emotional and discouraged after reading some feedback, and haven't touched a donut hole since because I replayed in my head the posts I read. Hang In there!!! We're both only three weeks post of so we have a lot to learn which is why I come on here and read so much !!!

[MiniMi 1,468]

Jg956' date=' I completely understand where your coming from. Sometimes we just want people to validate our feelings or statements we make. I posted a week ago a similar statement and people jumped down my throat...I felt so terrible after reading the responses. It was like my moment of happiness and success was taken from me and left me feeling discouraged. I think people get the lap band for different reasons. I know one thing we all have in common is loosing weight, however, my reason was because I wanted to eat what I wanted but less of it. I felt a victory last week when I ate two donut holes. Prior to Lap band I ate 25 count in one sitting. To me, this was big!!!! I have always wanted to have control over the quantity of what I eat which has always been hard. I did three months in an eating disorder program to over come binge eating disorder. I still after three months could not control my quanity of donut holes. Seeing how people attack over what we eat vs how much is not fair. No one here got obese from eating a piece of pecan pie, maybe from eating the whole pie. If eating a piece of that pie allowed you to enjoy thanksgiving that occurs one time a year, good for you!!!!! You did not kill anything from eating that piece. Just because we have a lap band doesn't mean were banned from eating sweets or anything with high calories, it means we're not going to eat as much as we probably used too. Last year I lost 150 pounds from restricting quanity of food, I never once banned any food from my diet I just limited my quanity and how often I ate certain things. I'm really bothered by people making comments of what we can't and can eat. Three months in an inpatient eating disorder program taught me how to eat and never once did it encourage not eating certain foods , or restricting sweets on a holiday....I hope posting your true feelings didn't discourage you from posting because I really enjoy reading honest posts that come from our true real experiences. I honestly think some responses are of what people think they have to say. We have a doctor that can give us harsh realities, we need validation, support, active listening, and sensitive oriented opinions and responses. On the other side, I guess hearing harsh realities can also help us. I became emotional and discouraged after reading some feedback, and haven't touched a donut hole since because I replayed in my head the posts I read. Hang In there!!! We're both only three weeks post of so we have a lot to learn which is why I come on here and read so much !!![/quote']

I read your post on the donut holes and passed over it as being no big deal. You obviously have done more work psychologically than most of us. Most of us would not be able to handle donut holes but you seem to have done so successfully. What do you think if you read about someone going to ihop, stuffing themselves and even having two donut holes? It's a bit different, don't you think? Wouldn't that raise an eyebrow at your eating disorder program. The difference between your success and others failure is the control over quantity.

I think the choice of words may have triggered the responses more than what actually was eaten.

[MiniMi 1,468]

I do calorie cycling and that will keep you dropping the pounds! I'm 16 months out and 108 lbs lighter. 10 lbs away from my goal. I wore size 22 pants and I'm in a 10(probably could wear an 8' date=' but like the feeling of the 10's being big <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />)[/quote']

Way to go! I bet you feel amazing? There is a way to boost metabolism and stay successful and you are proof!

[Summerrain 520]

You know what I admire your honest posting, ty. You said you indulged a little bit more than you have been eating, Im sure it wasnt like pre banding, you just had a little bit extra and you know what that is fine, we are still allowed to induldge from time to time. I personally got the lapband to stop dieting and develop a healthy relationship with food. Do I still eat "crap"from time to time, hell yeah I do!!!! Do I make myself feel guilty for eating the "crap"? Nope!!! In the past I would have stuffed my self silly with "crap" now I can have just a little sliver of the so called "crap" and not feel guilty and enjoy it like a normal person. I have two beautiful slim girlfriends, they eat what they like and they exercise and always have. I've observed them eating, no matter what they are eating when they are satisfied they stop which is usually at the twenty minute mark and they don't shovel food into their mouths, they take the time to eat.

Cheryl I have to disagree on one of your comments, you don't always have to eat crap to put on weight. I grew up in a european household where my mother homemade everything, even the vegetables on the dinner table came from the vegetable patch my father had in the back yard all year round. No one else in my family has or has ever had a weight issue, only me, why? Because I always ate more than I needed to, I remember my mum telling me as a little girl after going for a second helping of dinner, haven't you had enough. I was constantly hungry. My mum never bought crap, or take out, she cooked every single meal from scratch. I was just different. When I had my three children I was so afraid they had my gene when it came to food and weight. I didn't want them to have weight issues, especially my beautiful daughter. From the time they started solids I cooked every single thing that went into their mouths, I never bought the store baby foods, I made sure they were active every single day, I encouraged them to take up a sport, we tried many different ones till they each found something they loved and enjoyed. I taught them that moderation is the key with food, I taught them no food is off limits, I taught them to eat healthy 90% of the time and junk food from time to time is ok. I rarely buy my family take out, when the kids are with friends they will sometimes have McDonalds or some other fast food.

We all got fat for eating too much (and not necesarilly crap food) and not being active enough. The lapband is teaching us to eat like normal people and to become active and that's why it works. I felt like a failure for so many years because even though I taught my children to have a healthy relationship with food I just couldn't apply it to myself. I constantly went on diets, constantly deprived myself and constantly failed. I needed professional help which I sought out, finally at 49 years of age I am succeeding and I know I will get this weight off, better late than never, with the help of the lapband, the lapband has taken away that constant hunger, the lapband has helped me get back in control, the lapband has made me feel like a normal person with normal eating habits. Without this lapband I would constantly be struggling with my weight and on the never ending yo-yo dieting cycle. It felt like I was born defective in some way when it came to my hunger levels. Food is a part of celebrations and holiday festivities, it has been for thousands of years. Some of us just forgot to say enough is enough. Christmas is around the corner and it's my turn to have it at my home this year for my family (twenty people), for the first time in years I am not afraid of this Christmas because I know that even if I do have that little something extra it's fine and it will be worked into my new daily eating habits I have acquired with the lapband and I will do extra walking the day after.

Being lapbanded is not about deprivation it is about a healthy approach towards foods in moderation and exercise.

So to the original poster ty for posting and being totally honest with your food intake on a day of festivities and also showing how even though you ate some things you normally dont eat you ate it in moderation so you are well on your way to understanding how to live your new lifestyle regardless of how long you have been banded.

Time to get off the soap box lol.

[Iruthie20 24]

Maybe the choice of words did trigger me! To hear someone say "you just sabatoged yourself three weeks out" and " you just killed it from the pie alone" .... I'm sure no one wants to hear that! I felt so sad for the person who posted the orginal because those are not encouraging supportive words. We don't know her personal journey to subject her to such harsh words of feedback. Maybe because I'm a clinical therapist I took some of the posts so harshly. I thought our intentions are to help lap banders, support each other, not to discourage and point fingers at mistakes, or disclosing honest feelings.

Minimi, the original poster said she had a small plate, and went for seconds..she stated she had no rolls, no crust, little stuffing ect.... ( very lap band concious, if you ask me), She didn't say she stuffed her self to a point where she was sick or throwing up.... She was being honest and saying she indulged a little bit more then she would on a normal day... Regardless, The only thing that could help her through or validate her honesty would be encouraging supportive words not harsh rude inconsiderate words that aren't going to do anything but maybe make her resistant to being honest and true in future posts. I'm sure everyone on here has made mistakes or had embarrassing moments they'd like to post that would be beneficial for others to read but sadly this is just an example of why so many might not.

[MiniMi 1,468]

Maybe the choice of words did trigger me! To hear someone say "you just sabatoged yourself three weeks out" and " you just killed it from the pie alone" .... I'm sure no one wants to hear that! I felt so sad for the person who posted the orginal because those are not encouraging supportive words. We don't know her personal journey to subject her to such harsh words of feedback. Maybe because I'm a clinical therapist I took some of the posts so harshly. I thought our intentions are to help lap banders' date=' support each other, not to discourage and point fingers at mistakes, or disclosing honest feelings.

Minimi, the original poster said she had a small plate, and went for seconds..she stated she had no rolls, no crust, little stuffing ect.... ( very lap band concious, if you ask me), She didn't say she stuffed her self to a point where she was sick or throwing up.... She was being honest and saying she indulged a little bit more then she would on a normal day... Regardless, The only thing that could help her through or validate her honesty would be encouraging supportive words not harsh rude inconsiderate words that aren't going to do anything but maybe make her resistant to being honest and true in future posts. I'm sure everyone on here has made mistakes or had embarrassing moments they'd like to post that would be beneficial for others to read but sadly this is just an example of why so many might not.[/quote']

I hear you! I read into it the same as you small plate etc. same as the donut holes. As long as we keep trying we will get there!

[Iruthie20 24]

I agree

[cheryl2586 3,053]

Well lruthie20 you don't personally know me so you saying I was being harsh is like judging your patients that they are insane now isnt it. I was not being harsh simply stating that is sabatoge 3 weeks out. We dont know how little her little plate was or how much her seconds were and I dont care what you think because personally I have worked my full butt off to get the weight off. You see yes the band does make it easier to eat less but the band does not make it impossible to eat more if you do it right. So before you tell me my words are harsh, meet me in person, know the real me then tell me that I am harsh ok ;0 because I take care of people every single day of my life and no I am not harsh so you judging me was as bad as you thinking I was judging her. I was just stating a fact. At three weeks out you should not be going for seconds. She said she stuffed herself. Did you read that part. What do you consider stuffing?? It's the same behavior that got all of us where we are. So don't tell me I'm harsh when you dont know me.

[deanabatehup123 2]

Dont feel bad hunnie this is sooo hard!! Im 3weeks post op and starving so i too have eaten more than "a cup" or as we say in uk "a side plate" of food at meal times, its still a lot less than i used to eat im just hoping with fills it'll get easier, i rang my dietician she said if im hungry then eat just make healthy choices restriction will come later so dont beat yourself up over a thanksgiving dinner hun,im not lol,people should know the difference between support and insult ! nobodys perfect!!! Good luck from the uk xxx

[jg9956 41]

Thank you everyone for your kind words. Thank you to those of you that reached out to me through private message. This was exactly what I was thinking LBT was going to be when I joined. I understand that certain people have no filter and that is the way they are. I'm not judging anyone just the way that I don't want to be judged. All I have to say to certain individuals is congrats to you if you've made it through this process mistake-free...perhaps I cannot be that perfect, nor do I want to be. If life was perfect, it would be boring and unfullfilling to me. I am going to make mistakes and hope that I learn from them. I'm early in my weight loss journey, some of you are at goal...please don't forget they days when you were in my shoes.

When I read the first few posts, I was distraught to be honest. I cried in my 1 cup bowl of turkey chili...in front of my kids, nonetheless. They couldn't figure out why mommy was crying while she was eating. I couldn't explain it to them other than to just tell them to treat others the way you would want to be treated. A couple of things struck a nerve to me. First and foremost that the pie killed me. Now, not knowing my personal struggle with food or just everyday life, I wouldn't expect anyone to know that would hurt so much. I went through a long period of time where I secretly struggled with suicide. Maybe not over pie, exactly LOL but food was a huge issue for me that made me depressed.

Secondly, that I chose food over family. I never once chose food over family, EVER. I sat at a dinner table with my parents, my sister and her family and my own two beautiful children. It was never about food. Sure I was excited to eat, but to say that...those are fighting words. My father told me during dinner that I needed more on my plate...I politely told him, I can't eat more than this. He took it as me starving myself. I said, NO I really cannot eat more or I will vomit. Enough said. My father never liked seeing me over weight, as he has never had weight issues, but yet always wanted to make me happy, even if it meant feeding me more than I needed. I deal with this on a daily basis. Family who doesn't really support me, a semi-supportive husband who understands but at the same time, lost his eating buddy. And then my kids, who don't understand why I can't eat the way I used to. Their too young to understand all of it's complications. So yes, everyday is a struggle for me...I don't need a stranger to point their finger at me and tell me what I'm doing wrong or that I'm a complete failure.

Food is all around me...I will always struggle...I'm a pastry chef, I own a cupcake and cake bakery. My husband is a manager for Dunkin Donuts. Together we are a recipe for disaster LOL And this is why I empathize with the two donut hole girl! haha. I was the 25 donut hole girl, the 6 cupcake girl, the frappuccino girl, the fresh baked sugar cookie girl...oh i could go on and on...

Long story short, I understand where the negativity was coming from. I don't like it, but I understand it. I just think words can be used differently. Think before you write...think about what your words can do to another person that you don't even know. We're all here to support each other. Thanks again to everyone that appreciated my honesty and stood up for me. You're the best!

[Rrobichaud2 9]

I agreed jg. I am 4 weeks post op and its a struggle everyday and I have made mistakes but that is part of the journey and nobody is perfect. You will find on this site that some people really go to extremes in their posts. Good luck to you