Why In The World Did I Let It Get This Bad

[donna12 742]

For starters I'm a yr and 5 months divorced from being married to my high school sweetheart for 25 yrs. He totally broke my heart in '09 when he left me for another woman, yes she was skinny! And no I didn't have the surgery for that reason before you judge me. It's been a long hard 3 yrs of separation and divorce and being single at 46 is no fun. So I turned to food immediately. Instead of dropping weight I gained it. I ate my emotions away. How in the world did I let it get this far and bad and why is all I keep asking myself. I have never weighed as much in my life as much as I weighed on the day of my surgery. Every joint in my body hurt, it hurt to walk, bend, breathe, walk up stairs winded me, heck I couldn't do anything. I was eating and eating and eating like there was no tomorrow. I was huge! I bet he got the last laugh when he would see me out and about in our town and see how huge I was and still am. On a positive note, I made a decision to take back my life and have the surgery to save my life and get healthy. I've lost over 40 lbs since June 13th. It's been hard work and a battle of stuck episodes, boy let me tell ya, whew! Still learning to eat and chew. I hope to become a better me with a positive attitude, eat healthy, be active and do things in my life that are on my bucket list. Here's to a better me!

[dalia93 28]

You can do it girl! You are strong and inspiring! U shud b proud! xx

[MiniMi 1,468]

For starters I'm a yr and 5 months divorced from being married to my high school sweetheart for 25 yrs. He totally broke my heart in '09 when he left me for another woman' date=' yes she was skinny! And no I didn't have the surgery for that reason before you judge me. It's been a long hard 3 yrs of separation and divorce and being single at 46 is no fun. So I turned to food immediately. Instead of dropping weight I gained it. I ate my emotions away. How in the world did I let it get this far and bad and why is all I keep asking myself. I have never weighed as much in my life as much as I weighed on the day of my surgery. Every joint in my body hurt, it hurt to walk, bend, breathe, walk up stairs winded me, heck I couldn't do anything. I was eating and eating and eating like there was no tomorrow. I was huge! I bet he got the last laugh when he would see me out and about in our town and see how huge I was and still am. On a positive note, I made a decision to take back my life and have the surgery to save my life and get healthy. I've lost over 40 lbs since June 13th. It's been hard work and a battle of stuck episodes, boy let me tell ya, whew! Still learning to eat and chew. I hope to become a better me with a positive attitude, eat healthy, be active and do things in my life that are on my bucket list. Here's to a better me![/quote']

Donna, I can't even imagine the betrayal you must feel. Not only of the cheating but how long he was acting like everything was ok. I never understood it myself really. If you don't want to be with someone then tell them and leave. Why crush their spirit?

Also, the effort that someone puts into cheating could be spent rebuilding what they think they've lost in their mate. I'm sure if rendezvous and flowers and love notes were being showered on you, you may have been different to him too!

Remember that you gained weight, and now are losing it. You are making yourself a better person. HE is a cheater and you can't undo that!

A heartfelt hug is coming to you from Cali. Hang in there woman! You got this! The best revenge is success!

[mamatess 20]

For starters I'm a yr and 5 months divorced from being married to my high school sweetheart for 25 yrs. He totally broke my heart in '09 when he left me for another woman' date=' yes she was skinny! And no I didn't have the surgery for that reason before you judge me. It's been a long hard 3 yrs of separation and divorce and being single at 46 is no fun. So I turned to food immediately. Instead of dropping weight I gained it. I ate my emotions away. How in the world did I let it get this far and bad and why is all I keep asking myself. I have never weighed as much in my life as much as I weighed on the day of my surgery. Every joint in my body hurt, it hurt to walk, bend, breathe, walk up stairs winded me, heck I couldn't do anything. I was eating and eating and eating like there was no tomorrow. I was huge! I bet he got the last laugh when he would see me out and about in our town and see how huge I was and still am. On a positive note, I made a decision to take back my life and have the surgery to save my life and get healthy. I've lost over 40 lbs since June 13th. It's been hard work and a battle of stuck episodes, boy let me tell ya, whew! Still learning to eat and chew. I hope to become a better me with a positive attitude, eat healthy, be active and do things in my life that are on my bucket list. Here's to a better me![/quote']

Oh my goodness!! I am soooo sorry you had to go thru that crap! My husband had an affair with my BFF after 23 years of marriage and it nearly destroyed me--so I know how you felt and are feeling!

Stay strong! You can do this! And guarantee you will have the last laugh-

Big big hugs!!

[Wgbem 138]

Donna, I can't even imagine the betrayal you must feel. Not only of the cheating but how long he was acting like everything was ok. I never understood it myself really. If you don't want to be with someone then tell them and leave. Why crush their spirit?

Also, the effort that someone puts into cheating could be spent rebuilding what they think they've lost in their mate. I'm sure if rendezvous and flowers and love notes were being showered on you, you may have been different to him too!

Remember that you gained weight, and now are losing it. You are making yourself a better person. HE is a cheater and you can't undo that!

A heartfelt hug is coming to you from Cali. Hang in there woman! You got this! The best revenge is success!

I love what was said here. You will only punish yourself by overeating. Take back your life!! We are all rooting for you!!

[donna12 742]

thank you all so very much for your encouraging words of kindness, it touches my heart like no other. I'm not bitter towards him for cheating, the fact still remains and I know what you're going to say, I still love him so I'm still healing. I think it would have been better had it been a sudden death, I could have moved on, instead we live in a small town of 45,000 and I do see him or them out often and it is so hard. We are cordial to each other, thank God and he was good to me during the divorce with needing extra cash etc. and finally getting the settlement. He is a different person now and I can't imagine being with him again, just not the man I met 28 yrs ago, he's wild and parties all of the time, I think he's going thru his mid life crisis. Guess I will always love him and care what happens to him and his well being. The things I miss most is his extended family and family gatherings as I come from a very small family so at Holiday's it was such a treat to get together with his family, not that it's not with mine, I love my family but with his there were kids running around and such as we never had kids and I loved the entertaining part of it and all my sisters-in-law and oh how I loved my mother-in-law. Miss them so much. Thanks again for your comments.

[Lapbandster 496]

Hugs from chicago!!

You're doing great!!

[bandedsheree 17]

Chin up look forward, never backwards, this is yr life, he has made his bed, it's hard, but this yr time to indulge on yourself, and consentrate on you,us bandsters are all on this new journey, and who knows what adventures are round that corner hugs from England xx

[lousianalady 44]

No one and nothing will take your memories. I cried as i read this thread and replies. I too had a divorce like that. In your heart he is family plain and simple. Sounds like a mid life crises to me. Did y'all have kids?

Wish i could give you a huge hug but know Im thinking of you Donna

[Wgbem 138]

thank you all so very much for your encouraging words of kindness, it touches my heart like no other. I'm not bitter towards him for cheating, the fact still remains and I know what you're going to say, I still love him so I'm still healing. I think it would have been better had it been a sudden death, I could have moved on, instead we live in a small town of 45,000 and I do see him or them out often and it is so hard. We are cordial to each other, thank God and he was good to me during the divorce with needing extra cash etc. and finally getting the settlement. He is a different person now and I can't imagine being with him again, just not the man I met 28 yrs ago, he's wild and parties all of the time, I think he's going thru his mid life crisis. Guess I will always love him and care what happens to him and his well being. The things I miss most is his extended family and family gatherings as I come from a very small family so at Holiday's it was such a treat to get together with his family, not that it's not with mine, I love my family but with his there were kids running around and such as we never had kids and I loved the entertaining part of it and all my sisters-in-law and oh how I loved my mother-in-law. Miss them so much. Thanks again for your comments.

I hate to tell you but the chances of this relationship actually working is slim to none. Whatever he is going through it will pass. By the time he realizes it, you will be a totally different person. He will want to come back and you will be living a new life.

Hang in there and enjoy the world God is opening up for you!

[donna12 742]

thank you all so very much. To answer some of your questions, no we did not have any kids, I wasn't able to have kids. And to the last post, I believe God has paved a road for me and I just need to follow, don't know what that is yet but I just need to trust in Him. I hope to one day remarry, heck I'm only 46, teeheehee, no comments on my age you young things, I know that seems old to you.

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

there will come a time

he will regret (if he doesnt already) what he gave away.....you

you on the other hand say thank you for letting you see you are better off without him

yes it hurts and will for a very long time

but this gave you the backbone to make you well and get yourself together

you are doing so well

hugs/kisses from nc

[Bos123 221]

thank you all so very much. To answer some of your questions' date=' no we did not have any kids, I wasn't able to have kids. And to the last post, I believe God has paved a road for me and I just need to follow, don't know what that is yet but I just need to trust in Him. I hope to one day remarry, heck I'm only 46, teeheehee, no comments on my age you young things, I know that seems old to you.[/quote']

I am 34 and you don't seem old at all. In fact the older I get the more mature I am, the more confident I feel. Now is your time so congrats to you for being so strong and getting through this. God does have a plan for you. One door closes another opens! Have faith "faith is trusting in

Advance what will only make sense in reverse". Hang in there:)

[LadyMaggie 145]

I can also relate to your story . . . thanks for sharing it. I was estranged from my daughter for 12 years and my drug of choice was F-O-O-D. I also ate, and ate, and ate! I was so disappointed at how fast I spiraled out of control. I made a decision to be "fit by 50" and put myself and my health first. ~ good luck on your journey ~

[bigtruk_us 56]

Please quit being self destructive.I don't believe one ioda.That your husband left because of a skinny woman.Unless he is conceded and selfish.If that's the case of the latter.Then he needed to be gone.Im a guy.If I find myself being selfish or conceded.ill usually find myself alone.Get a grip its reality time.Now that you are divorced.If you're planning on having surgery to give your ex that "see what you're missing"then you are doing it for the wrong reason.This has to be for only you.To start anew.Good luck and get out there and live.Time to get off the couch and find something or someone to get into.I pray that you find your happiness and fulfillment you deserve