I'm At War With My Band

[NIKIMAC 19]

Here's the fat of it, we LOVE food and we LOVE to eat. It takes time to get it in your mind that the band is in control now and maybe you should just sit back and enjoy the ride. I miss eating hamburgers without having to run to the restroom to throw it back up because I cant eat bread LOL. But when I look in the mirror and see whats looking back at me, I KNOW I did the right thing. Its a MIND thing and sometime you will have to come up with alternate ways to have the foods that you miss, be creative.

[Darkangel321 61]

Perhaps I'm misreading something here' date=' but I find your reply to be really condescending—and rude.

I'm dealing with some pretty raw emotions right now. food is my drug of choice, the band has cut off my supply, and I'm in withdrawal. I'm obviously struggling, and this is hard for me...

If you've "made it", have everything figured out, and no longer have any of the problems with food that got you fat in the first place, well good for you and I'm genuinely happy for you. But your bandier-than-thou tone and mock-disgust really rubs me the wrong way. I come to this site for support, not to have my struggle used as a vehicle for someone else to show off.[/quote']

I understand exactly how you feel. I call what you are going through "Brain Hunger". This is a life long habit we are trying to change in a few weeks. We will have days when we feel like this. Then there are the extreme highs like the scale dropping several pounds in a week that remind us of why we did this. I haven't "made it" yet but I know if I do what I am supposed to be doing more often than not I will.

I think she was trying to say listen to your body and not your brain. That is hard for alot of us but necessary to succeed. You are in the right place for support. Sometimes the delivery is not the way we want it but the intent is there. I don't know her but I truly believe her intent was not to insult or belittle how you feel. I go back and forth between here and MY Fitness Pal. I like them both for different reason. MFP really helps me with my eating. Reading the food diaries of the successful people ahead of me helps tremendously. Check it out and if you like it please feel free to add me.

Please remember, we all really want to help each other. Don't give up on ranting here when you need to...That's what this is all about. O:-)

[SashaWLS 412]

I appreciate hearing everyone's point of view, and I'm particularly appreciative of Mayasgram's second post, explaining where she was coming from, her struggle, and overcoming it—I really didn't read any of that message in the first post. I wasn't mad or emotional when I responded. I just read all criticism and bolstering and very little support. I'm glad I said something though, because I really appreciate the follow up from everyone!

For what it's worth, I think that my first post was misunderstood by some. I wasn't saying how much I love to eat. I wasn't whining about not being able to eat Pasta and nachos. I was saying that I'm a food addict and I'm finally starting to let go, and I'm finding the place in my head and heart to be ok with not eating.

I don't "love" eating. Eating is not "fun" for me. I don't eat because it's a love affair, I eat as a way to punish myself, to sabotage myself, and to make myself feel bad. Mayasgram asked "who chooses this ??????????" and my answer is "an addict".

For me, eating is a tortured, abusive relationship that's part obsession, part craving, and part habit. Very little of it is pleasurable except that first moment of that first bite.

[hoover123 48]

Being a newbie to this site I can't express how thankful I am I found it. After two years of no one to talk to about my victories or struggles its been hard. Now I know "I AM NOT ALONE IN THIS JOURNEY!! I enjoy reading each and everyones stories. I was banded Jan.2010 and sadly I am right back where I started but unfortunetally having major difficulites with my port revision and fills. Me and my band worked well together. I lost 71 pounds (can't forget that one pound you know!) and then the port twisted. Since then everything went down hill. June 29th I had the port relocated and this has left me with an awful sometimes unbearable pain where the old port lied. I had major serous Fluid and alway contacted the office. Oh its normal, just put pressure on it they would say. Mean time because the band was emtied due to the surgery I just couldn't wait for my fills! After 3 months of pain, gaining a lot of weight back you would think the doctor would notice some red flags. I finally demanded some testing be done and now I go for a CT Scan on Monday. As women we are usually in tune with our bodies and know when something isn't right. I basically told them if they don't get this right I will take my money somewhere else because as we all know thats what it seems to boil down too. I am disappointed in myself because I am accountable for what I put in my mouth. Yet the doctor needs to work with me too. Why would a doctor let you suffer with pain like this. Questions my faith in him. I thought going to one of the best hospitals in the country was the right choice. The nurses are wonderful, but they almost seem like they are afaid of him. Anyways, after reading all your stories you have given me hope again. I woke up this moring feeling so much better. A site where no one judges you or bashes you or puts you down for feeling sad at times about ones self. Thank you everyone for your honesty and much support I have been needing. Where I live there are no support groups. I am thinking of making one up for myself in the area. No medical advice, just venting and sharing our journeys. I have been given a great gift and appreciate the fact this is a tool to help me. Many people that suffer from obesity would love to have this but for other issues can't. So we all have to remember how lucky we are in some ways. I live in the Kenosha, WI area so anyone would like to start a group let me know....I'll be there. I am not alone anymore...Good day everyone. I

[Darkangel321 61]

Being a newbie to this site I can't express how thankful I am I found it. After two years of no one to talk to about my victories or struggles its been hard. Now I know "I AM NOT ALONE IN THIS JOURNEY!! I enjoy reading each and everyones stories. I was banded Jan.2010 and sadly I am right back where I started but unfortunetally having major difficulites with my port revision and fills. Me and my band worked well together. I lost 71 pounds (can't forget that one pound you know!) and then the port twisted. Since then everything went down hill. June 29th I had the port relocated and this has left me with an awful sometimes unbearable pain where the old port lied. I had major serous Fluid and alway contacted the office. Oh its normal' date=' just put pressure on it they would say. Mean time because the band was emtied due to the surgery I just couldn't wait for my fills! After 3 months of pain, gaining a lot of weight back you would think the doctor would notice some red flags. I finally demanded some testing be done and now I go for a CT Scan on Monday. As women we are usually in tune with our bodies and know when something isn't right. I basically told them if they don't get this right I will take my money somewhere else because as we all know thats what it seems to boil down too. I am disappointed in myself because I am accountable for what I put in my mouth. Yet the doctor needs to work with me too. Why would a doctor let you suffer with pain like this. Questions my faith in him. I thought going to one of the best hospitals in the country was the right choice. The nurses are wonderful, but they almost seem like they are afaid of him. Anyways, after reading all your stories you have given me hope again. I woke up this moring feeling so much better. A site where no one judges you or bashes you or puts you down for feeling sad at times about ones self. Thank you everyone for your honesty and much support I have been needing. Where I live there are no support groups. I am thinking of making one up for myself in the area. No medical advice, just venting and sharing our journeys. I have been given a great gift and appreciate the fact this is a tool to help me. Many people that suffer from obesity would love to have this but for other issues can't. So we all have to remember how lucky we are in some ways. I live in the Kenosha, WI area so anyone would like to start a group let me know....I'll be there. I am not alone anymore...Good day everyone. I[/quote']

My port flipped before my first fill. Found out when I went to get my first fill. Banded 9/7/12, just had corrective surgery yesterday. See dr again 11/19/12 and hope he will fill me then. That will be 10 wks and 3 days post op. No help from band with zero restriction. Never heard of this til it happened to me. 180° flip. Im an emotional eater especially when it comes to stress. Ya think I might have a little stress going on right now.

Im glad you are in a better place now. I come here yo LBT and My Fitness Pal. Different formats but information and support on both. MFP helps me with my eating BIG TIME. People have food diaries to share. With people being at different stages in their journey you see many different things you can do. I love it.

[hoover123 48]

Oh my gosh, you poor thing. Here you are so ready for this new journey in your life and this happens. WOW! 10 wks. post op and no fills. When you get your first fill that gives you restiction you will know it and learn from it. I loved when my fill was at it best. I felt so in control of my eating and it made me more positive. Amazing how feelings play such a role in our doings. I can't imagine starting off like you did. I look at this way, I try to embrace the moment and I have reaized I just need to regroup and tell myself I can do this and will get answers in the end. (I don't give up easy when it comes to my health). We all need to be our own advicates. We all know pain from an unknown source is not normal. And if you are gaining weight with a lap band and eating the right foods it means your band is not tight enough. Its that simple. I aplogize for talking about my issues so much but again just finding this site has just made me so excited. Now I feel like I can conquer this and not remove the band. i was that close to removing it. With anything, things that that we go through that are difficult take time to either deal with or heal. That we can do with all the support we have at our finger tips now. I want you to stay in touch with me and let me know how you are doing. My first fill was weird. They filled the band a lot and made me drink Water and I couldn't swallow it, and then he let it out some and it went down. So don't let that freak you out....just a strange feeling. How did your revision go? Did you have much pain or did they just flip it back over or put in a new place? I feel like I have a cavity where my old port was and its filling up with Fluid and has no where to go so it builds up and casues pain. I read on whats called a Semona. (spelling)? Fluid starts to collect and hardens or something. May mean another surgery. Not sure if I ready for that. I might have had more pain due to scar tissue of 2 years since surgery.. But if it relieve my pain it will be worth it. I just want to be that person I was a year ago. 71 pounds lighter, happier, went back to school after a stay home mom for 12 years and now looking for employment. I just felt so darn good. I had confidence that was exploding out of me. I use to be 135 pounds in HS and my jr. year in HS I went undiagnosed with depression and anxiety. I ate evey emotion. Part of depression for me was eating it. Plus my meds don't help. Again, sorry so much about me, I just wanted to tell you a little about my story and hope I can help you in anyway. What did your doc say when your port flipped so early on....unbelievable.. Can you imagian having that bypass surgery and can't turn back if something goes wrong. This is why I chose Lap Band. Just for these reasons. Keep in touch as much as you need to. I am a stay home mom and check my mail occasionally. I can do it, you can do it and WE ALL CAN DO IT with eachothers support...I want to hear about your first fill!! Please advise about your revision, I am curious. Plus I am still learing all the differnet sites on here.

[Darkangel321 61]

Oh my gosh' date=' you poor thing. Here you are so ready for this new journey in your life and this happens. WOW! 10 wks. post op and no fills. When you get your first fill that gives you restiction you will know it and learn from it. I loved when my fill was at it best. I felt so in control of my eating and it made me more positive. Amazing how feelings play such a role in our doings. I can't imagine starting off like you did. I look at this way, I try to embrace the moment and I have reaized I just need to regroup and tell myself I can do this and will get answers in the end. (I don't give up easy when it comes to my health). We all need to be our own advicates. We all know pain from an unknown source is not normal. And if you are gaining weight with a lap band and eating the right foods it means your band is not tight enough. Its that simple. I aplogize for talking about my issues so much but again just finding this site has just made me so excited. Now I feel like I can conquer this and not remove the band. i was that close to removing it. With anything, things that that we go through that are difficult take time to either deal with or heal. That we can do with all the support we have at our finger tips now. I want you to stay in touch with me and let me know how you are doing. My first fill was weird. They filled the band a lot and made me drink Water and I couldn't swallow it, and then he let it out some and it went down. So don't let that freak you out....just a strange feeling. How did your revision go? Did you have much pain or did they just flip it back over or put in a new place? I feel like I have a cavity where my old port was and its filling up with Fluid and has no where to go so it builds up and casues pain. I read on whats called a Semona. (spelling)? Fluid starts to collect and hardens or something. May mean another surgery. Not sure if I ready for that. I might have had more pain due to scar tissue of 2 years since surgery.. But if it relieve my pain it will be worth it. I just want to be that person I was a year ago. 71 pounds lighter, happier, went back to school after a stay home mom for 12 years and now looking for employment. I just felt so darn good. I had confidence that was exploding out of me. I use to be 135 pounds in HS and my jr. year in HS I went undiagnosed with depression and anxiety. I ate evey emotion. Part of depression for me was eating it. Plus my meds don't help. Again, sorry so much about me, I just wanted to tell you a little about my story and hope I can help you in anyway. What did your doc say when your port flipped so early on....unbelievable.. Can you imagian having that bypass surgery and can't turn back if something goes wrong. This is why I chose Lap Band. Just for these reasons. Keep in touch as much as you need to. I am a stay home mom and check my mail occasionally. I can do it, you can do it and WE ALL CAN DO IT with eachothers support...I want to hear about your first fill!! Please advise about your revision, I am curious. Plus I am still learing all the differnet sites on here.[/quote']

He said it's common and happens during healing. Most often only 45-90 degrees. That he said would not have required correction. Mine, of course flipped upside down. No way possible to access that. He went in, repositioned it and re anchored it. I was sent home in 6 hours. He put in 1cc only to facilitate the procedure. No fill, Full food, Zero restriction. I try hard to follow the rules but I do fall short...Food addictions plus emotional eating equal brain hunger to me. I'm trying to learn how to listen to my body and eat slow enough to feel full when I should. I Chew, Chew, Chew, but have always eaten very fast. With no restriction I sometimes forget.

Im a work in progress and chose the band over the sleeve because I wanted options. If I could do it again I would take the sleeve.

Please come sign up on My Fitness Pal. It will be alot easier to keep up with each other. You will also benefit largely from it... promise. Sign up and request me...same name as LBT. O:-)

[Darkangel321 61]

Banded 9/7/12 231lbs Goal 145lbs Current 216.2lbs as of 10/21/12

[Bos123 221]

I appreciate hearing everyone's point of view' date=' and I'm particularly appreciative of Mayasgram's second post, explaining where she was coming from, her struggle, and overcoming it—I really didn't read any of that message in the first post. I wasn't mad or emotional when I responded. I just read all criticism and bolstering and very little support. I'm glad I said something though, because I really appreciate the follow up from everyone!

For what it's worth, I think that my first post was misunderstood by some. I wasn't saying how much I love to eat. I wasn't whining about not being able to eat Pasta and nachos. I was saying that I'm a food addict and I'm finally starting to let go, and I'm finding the place in my head and heart to be ok with not eating.

I don't "love" eating. Eating is not "fun" for me. I don't eat because it's a love affair, I eat as a way to punish myself, to sabotage myself, and to make myself feel bad. Mayasgram asked "who chooses this ??????????" and my answer is "an addict".

For me, eating is a tortured, abusive relationship that's part obsession, part craving, and part habit. Very little of it is pleasurable except that first moment of that first bite.[/quote']

I am an addict too. I felt like you were posting what was in my head. So know that you are not alone in this thinking, I am there too. I struggle with it every day. I get momentary relief from this demon when I am feeling positive and grateful for all the great things in my life. Then it creeps back in. Thankfully I seem to pull through and hopefully the thought will come less and less. In the meantime we have each other to vent to, and share our stories with while we break through these struggles. So thanks for sharing!

[hoover123 48]

He said it's common and happens during healing. Most often only 45-90 degrees. That he said would not have required correction. Mine, of course flipped upside down. No way possible to access that. He went in, repositioned it and re anchored it. I was sent home in 6 hours. He put in 1cc only to facilitate the procedure. No fill, Full food, Zero restriction. I try hard to follow the rules but I do fall short...Food addictions plus emotional eating equal brain hunger to me. I'm trying to learn how to listen to my body and eat slow enough to feel full when I should. I Chew, Chew, Chew, but have always eaten very fast. With no restriction I sometimes forget.

Im a work in progress and chose the band over the sleeve because I wanted options. If I could do it again I would take the sleeve.

Please come sign up on My Fitness Pal. It will be alot easier to keep up with each other. You will also benefit largely from it... promise. Sign up and request me...same name as LBT. O:-)

Where do I find this My Fitness Pal?? All so new to me.....

[Darkangel321 61]

Where do I find this My Fitness Pal?? All so new to me.....

App store for phone (IPHONE or ANDROID) or MYFITNESSPAL.COM

[Pebbagirl 131]

To sashawls and other addicts. I too am a food addict. It's important to remember each day that the band will never help you to not be an addict or to not be an emotional eater. I have discovered www.shrinkyourself.com. It's a 12-week online, self-paced program. If you're willing to spend the time it takes to do it and willing to get very honest with yourself (the program guides you every step), then you'll

Definitely learn some stuff about WHY you eat and HOW to change those habits. I'm on week 3 of 13 and I've learned so much. I can't remember how much it costs but it's not free. But to me, it's worth the money!

[Skyvic 226]

You know I'm about shy of two years banded. I too, went through kind of a mourning over the loss of the food and celebrating around it. You go through such a range of emotions from control to loss of control to loss. But, as the months have progressed I feel healthier, I look better, I have had to re-focus my thinking. I also regress after fills (Feel like I'm being punished) which is unhealthy thinking. I don't want the band so restrictive that food is not enjoyable. I've had to really reflect lately. I've had to focus on NOT rushing this journey. It seems now I eat out of nutritional necessity. Sure, I enjoy ice cream and sweets ever once in a while, but overall, I'm so close to goal that I'm keeping my eye in the prize. Just know there will be good and bad days, having this weight loss "outweighs" the bad days. Good luck and hang in there.

[hoover123 48]

Off to my CT Scan tomorrow for my lap band port pain. I am hoping I will get some answers. I bent over last night to pick something up and I just about fell over from pain. How can something that was going so well go so wrong over a port revision. I hope they can find out whats wrong because I just can't stand the pain. I should be concentrating on the postive things in my life and how fortunate I have been to get the lap band. But when you are in pain it seems to take away a lot from you. I am so ready to throw in the towel and get it removed if they can't figure this out. Has anyone else beent through this? The biggest problem it took 3 months for my doctor to finally listen to me and do some testing. Or at least the nurses finally intervined and got the help I needed. I want to come on this site and be positive and supportive for others. But right now I need all the support I can get. I feel so sad that this has failed me. Yes, there are worse things in life, I guess its just the pain talking. I guess they don't want you taking Aleve or Advil. Tylenol doesn't cut it. I fell asleep with an ice pack on my tummy last night. Thanks for listening, I just needed to vent. Again, hopefully I will get some answers tomorrow. Good day everyone.....

[SueBee01 630]

You started a great conversation here! Many of us suffer or suffered the same fate. I applaud you for stepping up and talking about you issue and being open for the conversation that may come with it. It is very hard to even recognize the problem, but you have done that and are making a conscious choice to now do something about it. It will be very hard, but you will get to a point where your mind will make the shift and it will become easier. In the meantime, we are here to support you and help you through it.

I am 9 months out and am having an easier time with it now. I told myself that now that I had the band, I did not want to suffer the side affects of over doing it and that really helped. Don't get me wrong, I still come across many challenge too! But we have made this choice and will get through this together.

What a huge step you have taken. Congratulations!