Oh, LapBand, We Meet Again

[StrawartS 2]

Alert the media. The fickle bitch I call my LapBand is back in business. Just when I thought that my restriction had tapered off and I was just dieting on my own, the bitch rears her ugly head with a surprise PB to remind me that she's still here. You know, God forbid I pride myself on losing a few pounds on my own without feeling any restriction. This bitch wants all the credit.

I can almost hear her laughing as I wait for this hot tea to gurgle on through.

[StrawartS 2]

Apparently 1 PB wasn't enough. I don't think she likes the way I'm talking about her, so she had to stick it to me and make me PB again.

[Xann77 0]

Can I ask you a gross question -- when you PB, do you actually throw up? I think I PB'd last night for the first time, but I didn't actually throw up. I just felt really umcomfortable and ran to the bathroom thinking that I MIGHT throw up and after a few minutes, it passed.

[StrawartS 2]

That was just a golfball. See this post for a graphic description of my first PB:

http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=15400&highlight=pb%3F+worst+experience

[DeLarla 22]

Now THAT was funny!

[JanetC 2]

Awww StrawartS, sorry the band is fighting back! Beat her down!

(Heh, notice I didn't ask what you PB'd on! You should be proud of me!)

[StrawartS 2]

Oh, it wasn't even crap food! I made a pretty healthy meal -

Emeril's chicken apple sausage

Cheesy garlic mashed potatoes from the box

Canned green with sauteed onions

And it was on the 1st bite...I hadn't needed any warm tea lately, so I figured I had just gotten used to my fill. And now I'm spitting my saliva into a cup because it creates a golf ball if I swallow. Pleasant, no? It'll go away in a few hours. Ahh...such is life with the LapBand.

[Mikey 0]

The meal sounds great! Uh... umm.... since you didn't get to finish it, are there any leftovers???

[JanetC 2]

Ugh. You take it so calmly! I whine & beg Mikey to hold my hair back... or rub my back...

[StrawartS 2]

Oh, the first time I couldn't swallow my own spit, I was NOT calm. It actually helps to loosen up if I sit still and don't get too excited.

Oh, another thing that makes me tighten up is any sort of traumatic, blood-pressure raising event. For instance, when I was driving to the DFW lunch at Jason's, there was a cop tucked away into this lovely little nook on the freeway just waiting for us to zoom by. He didn't get me, but I tried to take a sip of Water afterwards and found myself stuck! Very weird. It went away in a few minutes.

Mikey, the leftovers have been put away so as not to taunt me. But hold on, let me courier some over to you right now.

[Jerseytammy 0]

I just read your post on your graphic description of my first PB. I was laughin so hard I caught the eye of my boss. ROFLMAO!

I needed that today, ty

[Wheetsin 714]

PBs suck monkey butts.

[sarahv 0]

StrawartS:

I was reading this thread and of course had to read your PB description in the linked thread - ROFLMAO!!!

I am not banded yet and really had wondered what PB truly meant - I've hear of the golfball, but never heard the graphic description!!

I'm sorry that you had to go through it - but your accounting of it was priceless!! Thanks for the entertaining education!!!

[paula 4]

Dont worry StrawartS, at this point, I welcome a good pb.

[StrawartS 2]

You know, Paula, I have to agree. I was beginning to think I'd never have one again! It's nice to know that my band is still in there somewhere doing it's job. And after the first couple, I know how to handle them, so they really ARE just small, non-terrifying, productive burps...no more 9 inch bubbles.